Strength in Weakness: Embracing God's Grace

Nov 17, 2024

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"yeah so thank you for having me um yeah i've been asked to share about how i've encountered god in my weakness these past few years and i'd love to share with you all how i've encountered god through my weakness and how my weakest place i have encountered the strength of god and fallen into greater dependency on him these past 18 months for those you who don't know i've been very ill i've had a migraine every day since the first of april of 2023 i experienced severe fatigue brain fog dizziness and as a result of become face to face with my weakness i hate being weak anyone who knows me will know that it is like the worst thing for me um i hate being helpless for all of my life i've tried to run in the complete opposite direction of my weakness every single turn i've tried to mask my weakness pretend that everything's all good and try and be the strong one i shut off all emotions i deemed as weak from a young age and hid any sign as weakness to people i wouldn't let anybody in when i was struggling i wouldn't ask for help i decided that the goal that the best thing to happen in my life was if i was strong and independent and could do" [00:02:03] (75 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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"whatever i wanted to do i would be the strong one the one that never needed help the one that had it all together the one who always does things and helps people um and yeah people just see us the one that can is strong and got everything together and i always thought that that's what god required of me that in order for god to use me for me to encounter him for me to do things for him i had to be that one that i had to be the strong one for me if i asked for help or was dependent i was weak and for me weakness was bad it was not something that i would rejoice in or boast in but that didn't work very well for me it wasn't until i was confronted face to face with this weakness where my only option was to depend on him that i actually started to encounter god in it and so we see in second corinthians 12 7 to 10 that paul gets given this thorn in a flesh and in verses 7 to 8 it says therefore in order to keep me from being conceited i was given a thorn in my flesh a messenger of satan to torment me three times i pleaded with the lord to take it away from me for me my very first response when i became ill was to deny that i was ill i tried to keep going live life normally keep seeing everyone that i would normally see try and go to school um and that actually all would be well if i just kind of put my head down kept going i kind of kept reiterating the fact that god is good and that everything's going to be fine um and if i just kept pushing through i'm sure i'll get through somehow and for some of you you also may hide your weakness not tell anyone try and forget it or see it as a problem that needs fixing and in john mark homer's book practicing the way he says that with our pain we often do at least one of these three things we deny detach drug our pain and we can often do the same with our weakness we see in this passage that paul acknowledges he has this thorn and yet he sees it as a hindrance to the work he's doing for god and we see that paul has done all these incredible things and he's doing so much for god and yet when he has this thorn his first thing is to get it taken away from him so for it to be fixed that actually it's not something that god could use and that could bring him closer to god or that could lead to this deep encounter but instead is this problem that has to be fixed and i think we often do the same um nobody wants to be weak nobody wants to live with our weakness um instead we want it to be taken away from us and we want our encounter with god to be in the form of a breakthrough for god to take it away for it to disappear for it to be dealt with and sometimes god does do this and we see in paul's life that you know the walls come tumbling down and he has all these incredible encounters of significant breakthrough but sometimes god doesn't take the weakness away as quickly as we want it or maybe he doesn't take it away and so i kind of went on this journey i started to acknowledge that i actually was ill as it came quite apparent quite quickly that i couldn't really revise um i got it april just before my gses um and once i had acknowledged actually i was ill then i was like well the only option to encounter god is for gone for me to be completely healed for me to be able to do everything all well no migraines no fatigue um and yes he could have healed me and one day i will be healed whether it's this side of heaven or the next um and god also could have taken paul's thorn away but that's not the only way that god wants to reveal himself and it's not the only way that god wants to reveal himself to you today because it can actually be in our very weakest moment that we can encounter jesus's strength and we see in 2 corinthians 12 9 um that but he said to me my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that christ's power may rest on me and so god's answer to paul may have not been might not have been what he wanted to hear i mean to be honest he wants to be told that actually i'm going to take it away and that's going to be the place that i'm going to show strength in" [00:03:21] (0 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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