Stop Judging, Start Helping | Daniel Custer | Crosswind Church

It’s so good to worship together and be reminded of how easy it is to fall into judgment—whether it’s over something as simple as where we get our coffee or as deep as the choices people make in their lives. We live in a world that is quick to judge, and it’s tempting to join in, especially when we can do it from a distance, online or in person, often without even knowing someone’s story. But Jesus’ words in Matthew 7 are clear: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” This isn’t just a warning; it’s a call to humility and self-examination.

We all have a tendency to notice the faults in others while ignoring the “plank” in our own eye. Jesus uses this vivid image to remind us that our first responsibility is to deal with our own sin. Repentance isn’t just a one-time event; it’s a continual process. Even King David, a man after God’s own heart, had to be confronted by Nathan before he confessed and repented. David’s prayer in Psalm 51—“Create in me a pure heart, O God”—is a model for us. Sometimes, we need a Nathan in our lives, someone who loves us enough to speak the truth and help us see what we can’t see ourselves.

But Jesus doesn’t stop at self-examination. Once we’ve dealt with our own sin, we’re called to help our brothers and sisters—not in judgment or condemnation, but in love, grace, and truth. This kind of help requires closeness and relationship. You can’t see a speck in someone’s eye from a distance; you have to be close, like family. The goal isn’t to belittle or shame, but to come alongside and support each other in the journey of repentance and growth.

Imagine if we became a community known not for judgment, but for helping one another walk in freedom. The world already knows what it’s like to be judged. What if we were the place where people found grace, truth, and real help? That’s the kind of love Jesus modeled—grace that forgives, and truth that transforms. It’s not easy, and sometimes we risk being misunderstood, but it’s worth it to love like Jesus loves.

Key Takeaways

• 1. Deal with your own sin first Jesus calls us to focus on the “plank” in our own eye before we try to address the faults of others. This isn’t just about self-improvement, but about humility and honesty before God. True repentance is ongoing, and it’s only when we face our own brokenness that we can genuinely help others. [34:43]
• 2. Invite accountability, not just privacy David needed Nathan to confront him before he could truly repent. We often want to deal with our issues privately, but God uses others to help us see what we can’t. Praying for a “Nathan” in your life is a dangerous but necessary prayer—one that opens the door to real transformation and freedom. [40:52]
• 3. Help others in grace and truth After dealing with our own sin, Jesus calls us to help our brothers and sisters—not with judgment, but with love. This requires closeness, trust, and a willingness to risk misunderstanding. True love is not passive; it comes alongside others to support, encourage, and gently restore. [46:17]
• 4. Create a community of non-judgmental help The world is full of judgment, but the church is called to be different. Imagine a community where people aren’t condemned, but are helped to walk in freedom. This kind of culture draws people to Jesus, even those who don’t yet believe, because it reflects His heart of grace and truth. [57:12]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [27:06] - Worship and Coffee Illustration
• [28:37] - The Ease of Judgment
• [29:34] - “Judge Not” in Matthew 7
• [31:54] - The Measure You Use
• [32:51] - Christians and Judgment
• [34:10] - The Plank and the Speck
• [36:52] - King David’s Story
• [38:37] - Nathan Confronts David
• [39:49] - Psalm 51: A Prayer of Repentance
• [40:52] - Praying for a Nathan
• [42:23] - The Ongoing Struggle with Sin
• [44:25] - Life is Better Without Sin
• [46:17] - Helping Others Remove the Speck
• [48:40] - Who Is My Brother?
• [50:39] - Loving in Grace and Truth
• [51:36] - Integrity and Accountability
• [55:57] - What If We Didn’t Judge?
• [57:12] - A Community of Grace
• [59:14] - Closing Prayer

1. According to Matthew 7:1-2, what does Jesus say will happen if we judge others? How does the “measure” we use come back to us? [31:54]
2. In the sermon, what example did the pastor use to show how easy it is to judge people over small things? [27:27]
3. What did King David do after Nathan confronted him about his sin, and how did he respond? [39:49]
4. According to Jesus, what must happen before we can help someone else with their “speck”? [34:43]

1. Why do you think Jesus uses such a strong image of a “plank” in our own eye compared to a “speck” in someone else’s? What is he trying to get across about our own self-awareness? [34:43]
2. The pastor mentioned that repentance is not just a one-time event but a continual process. Why is ongoing repentance important for Christians? [35:39]
3. Why might it be difficult to invite someone like Nathan into our lives to speak truth to us? What risks or fears might be involved? [40:52]
4. Jesus calls us to help others after we’ve dealt with our own sin. What does it look like to help someone “in grace and truth” rather than in judgment? [50:39]

1. Think about a time when you judged someone quickly, maybe even over something small like coffee choices or social media posts. What was going on in your heart at that moment? How can you catch yourself next time before making a snap judgment? [28:37]
2. The sermon talked about dealing with the “plank” in our own eye first. Is there a specific area of your life where you tend to ignore your own faults but notice others’? What would it look like to address that area honestly this week? [34:43]
3. David needed Nathan to confront him before he could truly repent. Do you have someone in your life who can speak truth to you, even when it’s hard? If not, what steps could you take to invite that kind of accountability? [40:52]
4. The pastor said that praying for a “Nathan” is a dangerous but necessary prayer. Are you willing to pray for someone to lovingly confront you if needed? Why or why not? [40:52]
5. When you see a friend or fellow believer struggling with sin, what holds you back from coming alongside them? Is it fear of being misunderstood, or something else? How can you approach them with both grace and truth? [46:17]
6. The sermon imagined a church community known for helping, not judging. What is one practical way our group could become more like that—helping each other walk in freedom instead of condemnation? [57:12]
7. The world is already full of judgment. How can you personally contribute to making our church or small group a place where people experience grace, truth, and real help? [57:53]