On Target - Spiritual Influence

Five Rivers centers every ministry choice on the transforming truth that God’s love exceeds imagination and reshapes identity. Grounding relationships in Ephesians 5, the text calls for mutual submission, sacrificial love, and spiritual influence rather than drift. Cultural currents—sexual immorality, greed, coarse joking, and normalized brokenness—erode relational health, and many Christian communities unknowingly adopt those patterns. The apostolic charge moves readers from the darkness of default habits into the light of goodness, righteousness, and truth, insisting that relationships require intention, aim, and Spirit-led formation.

Scripture demands living wisely, not as unwise or drifting people, because the days bring pressures that distort desires and loyalties. The life of faith reorders priorities: rather than asking “What pleases me?” the heart trains to ask “What pleases God?” Seeking God’s pleasure realigns love for God and love for others, enabling mutual submission and sacrificial care without collapsing into unhealthy compromise or competition. Transformation into people who give rather than take requires the Holy Spirit to replace old habits, heal wounds, and supply secure identity.

Practical markers appear: identify the voices shaping behavior (culture, social media, family patterns, or Scripture), reject fruitless deeds of darkness, and expose destructive habits by allowing Christ’s light to illuminate them. The call to “wake up” functions as a wakeful ethic—stop defaulting to cultural scripts and instead choose influences that cultivate unity and kingdom fruit. When Christ becomes the chief influence, relationships change from performance or defense into instruments of healing, truth-telling, and mutual growth.

Communion frames the theological anchor: brokenness, forgiveness, and the cross demonstrate how love sacrifices for restoration. The table recalls a life poured out to allow sinful and wounded people to receive forgiveness and renewed relational patterns. The practical assignment asks each person to prayerfully examine who or what most shapes the way they show up in relationships and to choose Christ as the primary influence so that relationships become communities of light, wisdom, and life.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Choose who shapes your heart Allowing a single dominant influence determines relational habits, responses, and long-term character. Cultural noise, family patterns, or social media can harden reactions and justify destructive behaviors. Intentionally inviting Christ’s voice reorients identity and creates space for repentance, healing, and new pathways of love. Make discerning influence a regular spiritual practice. [28:06]
• 2. Live wisely; don’t drift Relational health depends on vigilance and direction rather than passive habit. Drift permits the world’s definitions—greed, sexual license, coarse speech—to set the agenda for intimacy and community. Wisdom calls for constant re-evaluation of practices, speech, and loyalties against Scripture’s standards. Choose intentional patterning over comfortable default. [26:12]
• 3. Let Christ transform inside out External behavior change without inner renewal produces temporary compliance, not sustained love. The Spirit reshapes desires, heals wounds, and reconstructs identity so sacrificial love becomes natural rather than forced. This inward renewal enables consistent mutual submission and sacrificial care in daily life. Expect deep change, not mere moralism. [30:26]
• 4. Reject cultural scripts that harm Cultural narratives reframe brokenness as normal and promote habits that fragment families and communities. Identifying and refusing those scripts frees relationships to be formed by kingdom values—truth, righteousness, and goodness. This refusal includes exposing hidden patterns and choosing practices that build long-term safety and unity. Resist normalization; choose restorative paths. [15:33]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:17] - God’s Love as North Star
• [01:21] - Global Mission Partnerships
• [02:39] - Opening Prayer and Scripture
• [03:07] - Series Overview: Relationships
• [03:53] - Relate Strong Retreat Info
• [05:09] - Memory Verse: Ephesians 5:21
• [10:45] - Relationships and Influence
• [11:46] - Key Text: Wise Living (15–17)
• [12:29] - Live Wisely, Not Drift
• [14:29] - Cultural Erosion of Relationships
• [18:30] - Live as Children of Light
• [26:12] - Wake Up: Intentional Living
• [29:42] - Who Shapes Your Relationships?
• [31:06] - Communion: Broken and Forgiven
• [33:30] - Closing Prayer

Bible reading: Ephesians 5:3-17 (NIV)
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Observation questions

1. According to verses 3-4, what specific behaviors are listed as being "improper for God’s holy people" and what should replace them?
2. What are the two contrasting ways to live described in verses 8 and 15?
3. What is the command given in verse 10, and what does it require a person to do?
4. The passage says our relationships are shaped by what and who we allow to influence us. [10:45] What are some of the negative influences the world offers that can erode relational health? [14:29]

Interpretation questions

1. Verse 10 instructs us to "find out what pleases the Lord." In the context of relationships, how does shifting our focus from "what pleases me" to "what pleases God" change our interactions with others? [19:44]
2. The call to "wake up" in verse 14 functions as a wakeful ethic. What does it look like practically to stop defaulting to cultural scripts in our relationships? [26:50]
3. Verse 11 says to "have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them." How can a person expose these deeds in a way that is restorative and not just condemning?
4. Why does external behavior change without inner renewal produce only temporary compliance, not sustained love? [30:26]

Application questions

1. The question is not *if* something is shaping the way you show up in relationships, but *who* or *what* is shaping you. [28:06] This week, spend time thinking and praying about this: Who or what is most shaping the way I show up in my relationships? Is it the voice of Christ or the volume of culture? Is it Scripture or social media? [28:23]
2. Relational health depends on vigilance and direction rather than passive habit. [26:12] What is one area of your closest relationship where you have been "drifting" on autopilot instead of being intentional? What is one practical step you can take this week to live wisely in that area?
3. We are all being influenced, taking cues from somewhere. [27:22] Identify one voice from culture, social media, or a family pattern that has been shaping a destructive habit in your relationships. What would it look like to intentionally reject that script and replace it with a kingdom value like goodness, righteousness, or truth? [15:33]
4. Transformation into a person who gives rather than takes requires the Holy Spirit to replace old habits. [30:26] What is one old habit or wound that you need to invite Jesus to heal so that sacrificial love can become more natural for you? [28:41]
5. The call is to let Christ’s light illuminate our destructive habits. [21:25] Is there a relational pattern you engage in that you know is harmful but have been avoiding bringing into the light? Who is a safe, spiritually mature person you could confess this to and ask for prayer and accountability?