Spiritual Fulfillment: The Key to Lasting Marriage

 

Summary

Reflecting on 25 years of marriage, I am filled with gratitude for the blessings God has bestowed upon us. Our journey has been marked by a deep love for each other and our children, and a profound sense of fulfillment that comes from our relationship with God. As we celebrate this milestone, I am reminded of the importance of being spiritually filled and how it impacts every aspect of our lives, including marriage and parenting.

Many enter marriage with fears and misconceptions, often fueled by negative advice. We were told to expect difficulties at various stages, but our experience has been one of increasing joy and blessing. This is not to say that challenges don't exist, but the key lies in being spiritually fulfilled. When we are filled with God's love, it overflows into our relationships, allowing us to love our spouse and children more fully.

The analogy of scuba diving illustrates our dependence on God. Just as a diver relies on an oxygen tank, we must rely on God to fill us spiritually. Many marriages struggle because individuals are spiritually empty, seeking fulfillment from their spouse rather than from God. When both partners are spiritually filled, they can support each other without being overly dependent.

Our relationship with God is foundational. It is the source of our strength and the key to overcoming challenges. When we are spiritually aligned, our marriages reflect God's love and become a testimony to others. This spiritual alignment is crucial, as it prevents us from falling into the traps of bitterness and resentment.

Finally, the importance of purity and integrity in relationships cannot be overstated. Upholding these values not only honors God but also builds trust and strengthens the marital bond. Decisions made early in life, guided by a commitment to God, lay the foundation for a fulfilling and lasting marriage.

Key Takeaways:

1. Spiritual Fulfillment is Essential: True fulfillment comes from a deep relationship with God. When we are spiritually filled, our love overflows into our relationships, allowing us to love our spouse and children more fully. This spiritual abundance prevents us from being overly dependent on others for our happiness. [03:50]

2. Marriage is a Reflection of Our Relationship with God: Many marital issues stem from a lack of spiritual alignment. When both partners are seeking God and filled with His Spirit, they naturally come to the same conclusions and support each other. This spiritual unity is the foundation of a strong marriage. [11:08]

3. Purity and Integrity Build Trust: Upholding purity and integrity in relationships honors God and builds trust between partners. Decisions made early in life, guided by a commitment to God, lay the foundation for a fulfilling and lasting marriage. [40:01]

4. Forgiveness is Crucial: Forgiveness is a vital component of any relationship. As God forgives us, we must also forgive others. This willingness to forgive fosters a spirit of grace and compassion, essential for a healthy marriage. [50:11]

5. Set Your Mind on Things Above: Focusing on eternal values rather than earthly desires transforms our perspective on marriage. By setting our minds on things above, we align our actions with God's will, leading to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. [43:00]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:33] - Reflecting on 25 Years of Marriage
[01:12] - Misconceptions About Marriage
[02:50] - Spiritual Fulfillment
[05:04] - Scuba Diving Analogy
[07:01] - Dependence on God
[10:24] - Spirit-Filled Marriage
[12:12] - 50th Birthday Reflections
[14:33] - Decisions and Eternity
[17:20] - Counseling Insights
[20:51] - The Banquet Table
[25:08] - Promised Land and Giants
[30:12] - Addressing Immorality
[39:25] - Purity and Trust
[43:00] - Setting Your Mind on Things Above
[52:40] - Forgiveness and Compassion
[57:02] - Meeting Lisa and Purity Standards
[01:07:09] - Adoption and God's Love

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Psalm 23:1-5 - "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows."
2. Colossians 3:1-2 - "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."
3. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 - "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

#### Observation Questions
1. How does the analogy of a scuba diver relate to our dependence on God in marriage? [05:04]
2. What does the speaker suggest is the result of being spiritually filled in one's personal life and relationships? [03:50]
3. According to the sermon, what role does forgiveness play in maintaining a healthy marriage? [50:11]
4. How does the speaker describe the impact of setting one's mind on things above in the context of marriage? [43:00]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. In what ways does Psalm 23 illustrate the concept of spiritual fulfillment and its overflow into relationships? [03:12]
2. How might Colossians 3:1-2 challenge individuals to re-evaluate their priorities in marriage and family life? [43:00]
3. What implications does 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 have for maintaining purity and integrity in relationships? [33:09]
4. How does the speaker's personal testimony of marriage reflect the principles found in these Bible passages? [40:01]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current spiritual practices. How can you ensure that you are spiritually filled so that your love overflows into your relationships? [03:50]
2. Consider a time when you felt spiritually empty. What steps can you take to seek fulfillment from God rather than from others? [04:26]
3. How can you actively set your mind on things above in your daily life, especially in your marriage or family relationships? [43:00]
4. Think of a situation where forgiveness is needed in your life. How can you apply the principle of forgiving as the Lord forgave you? [50:11]
5. What practical steps can you take to uphold purity and integrity in your relationships, whether you are single or married? [40:01]
6. Identify one area in your life where you might be overly dependent on others for fulfillment. How can you shift that dependence to God? [07:16]
7. How can you incorporate the idea of a "banquet table" of God's grace and love into your daily spiritual practice? [21:31]

Devotional

Day 1: Overflowing Love Through Spiritual Fulfillment
When individuals are spiritually fulfilled, their relationships are enriched by an overflow of love that stems from their connection with God. This spiritual abundance allows them to love their spouse and children more fully, preventing an unhealthy dependence on others for happiness. Many people enter marriage with fears and misconceptions, often influenced by negative advice. However, when one is spiritually filled, these fears are replaced by joy and blessing. The key is to rely on God for spiritual fulfillment, much like a scuba diver relies on an oxygen tank. This reliance ensures that love and joy overflow into all relationships, creating a harmonious and fulfilling family life. [03:50]

Ephesians 3:16-19 (ESV): "That according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."

Reflection: In what ways can you seek spiritual fulfillment from God today, allowing His love to overflow into your relationships with your spouse and children?


Day 2: Spiritual Unity in Marriage
A marriage that reflects a deep relationship with God is one where both partners are spiritually aligned, seeking God and filled with His Spirit. This spiritual unity is the foundation of a strong marriage, as it allows partners to come to the same conclusions and support each other. Many marital issues arise from a lack of spiritual alignment, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. However, when both partners are spiritually fulfilled, they can navigate challenges with grace and understanding, reflecting God's love in their marriage. This unity not only strengthens the marital bond but also serves as a testimony to others of God's love and faithfulness. [11:08]

Colossians 3:14-15 (ESV): "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful."

Reflection: How can you and your spouse work towards greater spiritual alignment, ensuring that your marriage reflects God's love and unity?


Day 3: Trust Built on Purity and Integrity
Upholding purity and integrity in relationships is crucial for building trust and honoring God. These values lay the foundation for a fulfilling and lasting marriage, as they foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding. Decisions made early in life, guided by a commitment to God, play a significant role in shaping the future of a marriage. By prioritizing purity and integrity, couples can strengthen their marital bond and create a relationship that is pleasing to God. This commitment not only honors God but also serves as a powerful testimony to others of the strength and beauty of a God-centered marriage. [40:01]

Proverbs 11:3 (ESV): "The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them."

Reflection: What steps can you take today to uphold purity and integrity in your relationship, building a foundation of trust and honoring God?


Day 4: The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a vital component of any relationship, especially in marriage. As God forgives us, we are called to forgive others, fostering a spirit of grace and compassion. This willingness to forgive is essential for a healthy marriage, as it allows couples to move past hurts and misunderstandings, strengthening their bond. By embracing forgiveness, couples can create an environment of love and understanding, reflecting God's grace in their relationship. This practice not only benefits the marriage but also serves as a powerful testimony to others of the transformative power of God's love and forgiveness. [50:11]

Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV): "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Reflection: Is there someone in your life, perhaps your spouse, whom you need to forgive? How can you begin to extend God's love and forgiveness to them today?


Day 5: Focusing on Eternal Values
Setting your mind on things above, rather than earthly desires, transforms your perspective on marriage and life. By focusing on eternal values, you align your actions with God's will, leading to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. This shift in perspective allows you to prioritize what truly matters, strengthening your relationship with God and your spouse. By seeking God's guidance and wisdom, you can navigate the challenges of life with grace and understanding, creating a marriage that reflects His love and purpose. This focus on eternal values not only enriches your marriage but also serves as a powerful testimony to others of the transformative power of a God-centered life. [43:00]

Colossians 3:2-3 (ESV): "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

Reflection: What earthly desires are distracting you from focusing on eternal values? How can you realign your priorities to reflect God's will in your marriage and life?

Quotes


When I'm alone with God I am so full like I'm like God life can't get any better I am in the presence of you and like the psalmist says he says my cup is overflowing so that's the way I feel when I'm alone with God is like I'm so full picture a cup up here and it's overflowing. [00:03:08]

When I get out of my prayer time I am spilling over and so when I see my children now that love is spilling over onto them when I see my wife that love is spilling over because I'm not too many people walk around like an empty cup and there's that they're like wanting something from you they're unfulfilled. [00:03:39]

It's almost like in some marriages people don't have their own tank and so if there was just one tank between us we would have to like keep sharing it back and forth back and forth I need air no I need air I need it more than you I need it more than you and that's what I see in so many marriages. [00:06:57]

If you're both filled from the Lord and you have your own air supply your life supply then you just swim together you live life together like I'm not a needy person that needs so much from Lisa and in the same way she's not this needy woman that just depends on me for all of her security and everything else. [00:07:19]

There has never been a spirit-filled couple that has gotten divorced in all of history there has never been a spirit-filled couple that has gotten a divorce every divorce is because one or maybe both of the partners are not spirit-filled and are not living the spirit filled life why because there's only one spirit. [00:10:37]

Most of your marriage problems are not marriage issues they're God issues it's because you lack in your relationship with God that you're driving your spouse crazy it's because you don't really understand the forgiveness in Christ that you can't forgive your spouse it's that these are the things that that's the issue. [00:28:24]

If you set your mind on things above and you store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where nothing can destroy it or touch it or take it away there's so many times when Frances will sit the kids and I down and he'll say this is the decision that we're making because we're not ever gonna regret this in light of eternity. [00:43:36]

The first thing you have to do in your marriage is remember that it is not about you it is about Christ and it is for Christ and if you look in Colossians 3 starting in verse 12 it just gives this beautiful passage that I think you can just so take to heart as a preaching for all of us but especially for marrieds. [00:48:28]

When is the last time it was in your heart to say when someone offended you God give me the grace to forgive them as you have forgiven me that's the most amazing forgiveness of all because we deserve none of his forgiveness he's perfectly holy and he has never offended us and we offend him over and over again. [00:49:48]

I want to work in my marriage as unto the Lord and that changes your whole motivation you guys Francis will not always motivate me to do what is right sometimes he does because he's a pretty good husband but what about when you have a husband who's not so great do you get like the get-out-of-jail-free card. [00:51:02]

I have never even been in a car alone with another woman I've never been in a room alone with another woman like I just standards where I don't even allow myself to get into trouble there's just no opportunity for that and I think those are some of the decisions you have to make early on. [00:59:08]

I remember even just because I was so convicted before the god of wanting to keep this temple pure I told the Lord okay if if I struggle with lust one day then I won't eat the next day and I'll spend the whole day fasting you know and just so that all day long I could remember like the sin of the day before. [01:00:34]

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Transcript
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