Spirit-Filled Marriage: Love, Submission, and Purpose
Summary
### Summary
Today, we delve into the famous passage in Ephesians 5, which discusses the roles of husbands and wives within the context of a Spirit-filled home. This passage often sparks debate, but it is crucial to understand it within the broader context of Paul's letter to the Ephesians and the overarching purpose of God.
We begin by setting the stage with a call to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Paul emphasizes that being filled with the Spirit is essential for living out the relationships in our homes. He contrasts this with being drunk on wine, which leads to a loss of self-control and wisdom. Instead, being filled with the Spirit leads to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This spiritual filling is not a one-time event but a continual process that requires daily surrender to God.
Paul then transitions to the specific roles within the home, starting with mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. This mutual submission is the foundation for understanding the roles of husbands and wives. Paul instructs wives to submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord, and husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. This love is characterized by sacrifice, service, and a commitment to the wife's well-being.
The concept of headship and submission is rooted in both creation and redemption. Paul refers back to Genesis 2, where God created man first and then woman, establishing a natural order. However, the husband's headship is not about authority but about responsibility and sacrificial love, modeled after Christ's love for the church. This means that husbands are called to die to their selfish desires and to serve their wives, making her submission joyful and easy.
Paul further explains that the purpose of marriage is much bigger than personal happiness. It is a witness to the world of God's love. When people see the sacrificial love and respect within a Christian marriage, it becomes an opportunity to share the gospel. This one-flesh union is a profound mystery that reflects the union between Christ and the church.
In practical terms, this means that husbands should be engaged in their wives' lives, taking the initiative in spiritual and emotional matters. They are responsible for the spiritual health of their homes and must be alert to the attacks of the enemy. This requires daily investment, prayer, and attention.
Paul concludes by reminding us that our ultimate submission is to Christ. This submission should permeate all our relationships, not just within marriage but also within the church and society. It is a call to live lives fully submitted to God, filled with His Spirit, and reflecting His love to the world.
### Key Takeaways
1. Being Filled with the Holy Spirit: The foundation for a Spirit-filled home begins with being filled with the Holy Spirit. This is a continual process that requires daily surrender to God. When we are filled with the Spirit, we exhibit the fruits of the Spirit, such as love, joy, peace, and self-control, which are essential for healthy relationships. [01:29]
2. Mutual Submission: Paul calls for mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. This means that both husbands and wives are to submit to one another, honoring each other in their roles. This mutual submission is the key to understanding the specific roles within marriage and is rooted in our submission to Christ. [05:32]
3. Sacrificial Love of Husbands: Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This love is characterized by sacrifice, service, and a commitment to the wife's well-being. It requires dying to selfish desires and taking the initiative in spiritual and emotional matters within the home. [17:15]
4. Purpose of Marriage: The purpose of marriage is much bigger than personal happiness. It is a witness to the world of God's love. When people see the sacrificial love and respect within a Christian marriage, it becomes an opportunity to share the gospel. This one-flesh union reflects the union between Christ and the church. [35:56]
5. Ultimate Submission to Christ: Our ultimate submission is to Christ, and this should permeate all our relationships. It is a call to live lives fully submitted to God, filled with His Spirit, and reflecting His love to the world. This submission should be evident in our marriages, homes, and church communities. [14:14]
### YouTube Chapters
1. [0:00] - Welcome
2. [01:29] - Introduction and Context
3. [05:32] - Mutual Submission
4. [07:06] - Spirit-Filled Living
5. [09:55] - Practical Implications of Being Spirit-Filled
6. [14:14] - Ultimate Submission to Christ
7. [17:15] - Sacrificial Love of Husbands
8. [22:28] - Engaging in Your Wife's Life
9. [24:03] - Spiritual Responsibility of Husbands
10. [25:37] - Love Your Wife as Christ Loved the Church
11. [28:48] - Historical Context of Submission
12. [30:00] - Limits of Authority
13. [31:31] - Headship and Submission
14. [33:01] - Sacrifice First
15. [34:23] - Servant Leadership
16. [35:56] - Purpose of Marriage
17. [37:30] - The Mystery of Marriage
18. [39:01] - Reflecting Christ's Love
19. [40:27] - Prayer and Conclusion
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. Ephesians 5:18-33 (NIV)
> "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
### Observation Questions
1. What does Paul contrast with being filled with the Holy Spirit in Ephesians 5:18? ([01:29])
2. According to Ephesians 5:21, what is the foundation for understanding the roles of husbands and wives? ([05:32])
3. How does Paul describe the love husbands should have for their wives in Ephesians 5:25? ([17:15])
4. What is the ultimate purpose of marriage according to Ephesians 5:31-32? ([35:56])
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul emphasize being filled with the Holy Spirit before discussing the roles within the home? How does this spiritual filling impact relationships? ([08:26])
2. How does mutual submission out of reverence for Christ change the traditional view of authority and submission in marriage? ([12:42])
3. In what ways does the sacrificial love of husbands reflect Christ's love for the church? How does this set a higher standard for marital relationships? ([17:15])
4. How does the concept of marriage as a witness to God's love challenge the modern view of marriage focused on personal happiness? ([35:56])
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your daily routine. How can you make a conscious effort to be filled with the Holy Spirit each day? What specific practices can you incorporate to ensure this? ([08:26])
2. Think about your current relationships. How can you practice mutual submission out of reverence for Christ in your interactions with family, friends, and church members? ([12:42])
3. For those who are married, how can you demonstrate sacrificial love to your spouse this week? Identify one specific action you can take to serve your spouse selflessly. ([17:15])
4. If you are single, how can you prepare yourself now to be a servant leader in a future marriage? What steps can you take to grow in spiritual and emotional maturity? ([24:03])
5. How does understanding the purpose of marriage as a witness to God's love change your perspective on your own marriage or future marriage? What practical steps can you take to reflect this purpose? ([35:56])
6. Identify one area in your life where you struggle with submission to Christ. What can you do this week to surrender that area more fully to Him? ([14:14])
7. How can you support and encourage the spiritual health of your home or community? What specific actions can you take to foster a Spirit-filled environment? ([09:55])
Devotional
### Day 1: Continual Filling of the Holy Spirit
Description:
The foundation for a Spirit-filled home begins with being filled with the Holy Spirit. This is not a one-time event but a continual process that requires daily surrender to God. When we are filled with the Spirit, we exhibit the fruits of the Spirit, such as love, joy, peace, and self-control, which are essential for healthy relationships. Paul contrasts this with being drunk on wine, which leads to a loss of self-control and wisdom. Instead, being filled with the Spirit leads to a life characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This spiritual filling is essential for living out the relationships in our homes and requires daily investment and attention. [01:29]
Bible Passage:
"And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart." (Ephesians 5:18-19, ESV)
Reflection:
What daily practices can you incorporate into your life to ensure you are continually being filled with the Holy Spirit?
### Day 2: Mutual Submission
Description:
Paul calls for mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. This means that both husbands and wives are to submit to one another, honoring each other in their roles. Mutual submission is the key to understanding the specific roles within marriage and is rooted in our submission to Christ. This mutual submission is not about one person having authority over the other but about both parties serving and loving each other as Christ loved the church. It is a call to put the needs and well-being of the other person above our own, creating a harmonious and loving relationship. [05:32]
Bible Passage:
"Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:21, ESV)
Reflection:
How can you practice mutual submission in your relationships today, putting the needs of others before your own?
### Day 3: Sacrificial Love of Husbands
Description:
Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This love is characterized by sacrifice, service, and a commitment to the wife's well-being. It requires dying to selfish desires and taking the initiative in spiritual and emotional matters within the home. The husband's headship is not about authority but about responsibility and sacrificial love, modeled after Christ's love for the church. This means that husbands are called to die to their selfish desires and to serve their wives, making her submission joyful and easy. [17:15]
Bible Passage:
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25, ESV)
Reflection:
In what ways can you demonstrate sacrificial love to your spouse or loved ones today?
### Day 4: Purpose of Marriage
Description:
The purpose of marriage is much bigger than personal happiness. It is a witness to the world of God's love. When people see the sacrificial love and respect within a Christian marriage, it becomes an opportunity to share the gospel. This one-flesh union is a profound mystery that reflects the union between Christ and the church. Marriage is designed to be a living testimony of God's love and grace, showing the world what it means to love selflessly and sacrificially. [35:56]
Bible Passage:
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:31-32, ESV)
Reflection:
How can your marriage or relationships serve as a witness to God's love to those around you?
### Day 5: Ultimate Submission to Christ
Description:
Our ultimate submission is to Christ, and this should permeate all our relationships. It is a call to live lives fully submitted to God, filled with His Spirit, and reflecting His love to the world. This submission should be evident in our marriages, homes, and church communities. When we submit to Christ, we allow His love and grace to flow through us, impacting every relationship we have. This ultimate submission to Christ is the foundation for all other forms of submission and service in our lives. [14:14]
Bible Passage:
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." (James 4:7-8a, ESV)
Reflection:
What is one area of your life where you find yourself holding back from surrendering to Jesus? What would surrendering this area to Him actually look like in terms of daily habits?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Why would we not invest more in the most important human relationship that we have? Before Paul dives into what this unity and purity should look like in our home with husbands and wives and with parents and children, he frames this all by saying in verse 18, do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Notice he doesn't say don't drink wine because maybe a little wine might be good for your marriage. He says, don't get drunk on wine because that marked your former life when you allowed yourself to be controlled by other substances, by other priorities, by other allegiances. But not anymore. You're now called to unity, to purity, to love, which necessitates being filled with the Holy Spirit, being filled with God's presence." [07:06]
2. "Being baptized in the Holy Spirit is something that just doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. It just sort of happens to you like it did to the believers at Pentecost. You have little control over it. But being filled with the Holy Spirit is a command here in Scripture. It's something that you can control by resisting the desires of your flesh, by resisting the world and the devil, and by inviting God's presence to fill you. So being filled with the Spirit is a continual thing, sort of like how you have to fill up your gas tank regularly. You need to ask God to daily fill you with his Holy Spirit. This then allows you to be led by God's purposes. It then enables you to be submitted to his purposes and plans for your life." [08:26]
3. "When you're filled with the Holy Spirit, it expands you. It expands your mind. It expands your heart. It expands your capacity. It leads to a more productive life. And some of you have this image of being filled with the Spirit and being like so out of touch with reality, like you're in the clouds. That's what you picture somebody. But being filled with the Spirit just means you have divine perspective on like really practical matters, like everyday decisions that you need to make. You don't have to waffle back and forth and labor in them. You don't waste time on petty things." [09:55]
4. "See, we must see this conversation about submission and headship in the larger context of being a disciple of Jesus, of being filled with the Holy Spirit, of mutually submitting to one another in the body of Christ. See, when you allow your thinking to be raised and to be transformed, as Paul is praying happens here in Ephesus, to have the spirit of wisdom and revelation, as he says in chapter 1, that the eyes of our hearts may be opened. When you allow that to happen, then you will see that there really are any ranking in marriage. There's no high or low position in the home, really, in the church. For if anyone has authority or point leadership in the church or in the home, it's for the sake of service." [34:23]
### Quotes for Members
1. "Paul says, love your wife as you do your own body. Just as you wouldn't mistreat your own body, you should never mistreat your wife. Just as you care for your own body, care for her body. Because here's the revelation. When you love her body, you're actually loving your own. Because you're no longer two anymore, but one. Paul says, that's why a husband leaves his father and mother, he's quoting Genesis 2.24, and is joined to his wife, and they become one flesh. It's this one flesh union that we need to have a deeper revelation of." [35:56]
2. "God's purpose for your marriage is much bigger than your happiness. And I want your marriage to have happiness. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. I pray for that. But God's purpose for marriage is really for your one flesh union to be a witness to a lost world. To be a witness of God's love. That's the purpose of marriage. So that when people look at how you love and sacrifice for your spouse, they should say, wow, that is how God loves me. Wow, look at how she respects him. Wow, look at how he loves her. And it becomes an opportunity to share the gospel of Jesus with others." [37:30]
3. "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. The word for love here is agape. A word you've probably heard. Agape your wives. For there's no love. There's no higher form of love than this. This is the way that God has loved us. Eros is the erotic physical attraction love. That's great but it's a lower level love. Then there's phileo love which is friendship and companionship. That's important. But then agape love is unconditional love. This is the love that can only happen by being in relationship with God and filled with his spirit. And receiving by revelation that Christ has loved us in this way." [17:15]
4. "Men, you are responsible for the spiritual health of your home. You're responsible for protecting your wife and children from the attacks of the enemy. You need to be spiritually alert. You need to be in prayer. You need to be in the word. Yes, this is a joint mission to lead spiritually in the home. It takes two, a partnership between husband and wife. It takes two to have a spiritually thriving home. But let me just say, if spiritual vitality is not happening in the home, you know who God is holding accountable. It's the husband." [24:03]
5. "The point here is that the authority of husbands, parents, or masters or political leaders is not unlimited. We're not meant to give them unconditional obedience, especially when they misuse their God-given authority. The context here is specifically in verse 22 is in marriage. God is not calling women to submit to all men everywhere in society. This is in a Christian marriage between husbands and wives." [30:00]
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