The Woman of God - Love Songs - A Study in Song of Songs | Tim & Jaya Birdwell | Week 2

``And then one of the most important things I want you to know church today is marriage and relationships are hard. Some of you are feeling that right now. You're like, Tim, I've tanked it in this. As a man, as a woman, the whole thing, they're hard. And it's because anything that God wants to build, Satan wants to destroy. And you know what breaks that? That stronghold, you know what brings healing? Is confession. Is forgiveness, is repentance. You wanna get on the offensive? [00:41:35] (35 seconds)  #MarriageIsHard

Admit to God you're weak. I know it seems so countercultural. Amidst a God as a marriage. Hey, we we need you God. As a pastor and his wife, God if you don't heal us, if you don't lead us, we have nothing. And that all of us, this this rule of confession and forgiveness, that's where the power is, that's where the healing is, that's where the joy is. [00:42:10] (28 seconds)  #ConfessionHeals

Hey. Our our last point, here's where we'll land the plane, is the woman of God is rooted in Christ. That the woman of God is is honest. Yes. The woman of God is wise and life giving, but none of these things have we arrived perfectly in. We haven't. You haven't. Yeah. There are things we're growing towards by the grace of Christ in Christ. And what we could tell you story upon story of is the place that confession and forgiveness [00:41:00] (27 seconds)  #RootedInChrist

And you don't see that in scripture. Listen, some of you women, I need to free you today. God created attraction. God created desire. God created the man and created the woman. God created sex, and it is okay to desire that. Can we just say amen to that? God knows that you are attracted to a person of the opposite sex. It is okay to pray for a man of God. [00:07:38] (27 seconds)  #HonestAboutDesires

I would open up if he would listen. I would open up. And listen, we talked about men. We talked about you last week, but just to come back to you for a second, you need to be creating a safe space for her to be vulnerable. What you see is over and over the man, she says, I'm not I'm dark. Don't look at me. And over and over the man's like, babe, you are so beautiful. [00:11:46] (21 seconds)  #LifeGivingWoman

You are most beautiful. Right? And he's lifting her up, making a safe space. It says she sits in his shadow. She knows she can share things with him, and she can be secure in that. Part of the reason why she knows that is because over and over and over, he says he affirms her. He says, hey. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. And then let me just tell you, your standard of beauty is your wife. [00:12:16] (23 seconds)  #MyrrhMeansValue

If somebody asks you, hey. Hey. What how do you like how you like the ladies? Like, tall, short, hey, curly hair, straight hair. You need to say whatever my wife looks like that day. Right? So if she got the straightening iron and it's not humid outside, you're like, I like straight hair. If she let it go wavy, it's a little bit humid. I like wavy hair. Right? [00:13:00] (24 seconds)  #OasisOfSatisfaction

And men, you need to make your standard of beauty is your wife. Create a safe haven for her. Encourage her beyond her looks. Let her share her insecurities with you. That's that vulnerability promotes intimacy, not just sex, but actual connection. A woman of God is honest about her desires, about her insecurities. Women, be honest. Cultivate that. Men, cultivate an atmosphere where that can happen in your relationship. [00:13:24] (33 seconds)  #FragranceRemembers

Verse 14, a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Ein Gedi. Ein Gedi was and is an oasis in the desert. She's telling him, hey, you are the one who fills my cup. You are the one that brings satisfaction to me. You are the one that I desire and feel safe with. And throughout chapters one and chapters two of Song of Songs, the woman's presence is described in this whole language of fragrance and fruit. We told you last week, [00:23:53] (26 seconds)  #SpeakWithKindness

fragrance is so strong. That's why this poetry uses that. Fragrance is so strong like your grandmother's house. We said is that can if you walk into a room and say, this reminds me of my grandmother's house, that can be it reminds you of her apple pie or it can remind you of her cigarette smoke. [00:24:20] (17 seconds)  #SensitiveToSpouse

And that scent, that fragrance stays with you. That's how strong your words are, your deeds are. And what this text is telling us is the woman of God, she has a fragrance that breathes life into a room that you remember when she leaves. She sets the tone and the temperature of the room by the way she carries herself, by the way she affirms, admires her man. [00:24:38] (25 seconds)  #DontMockSensitivity

So as we as we look at that, ladies, a woman of God is to be life giving. James says it this way, your words can bring life or bring death. Proverbs tell us this way that a woman who's quarrelsome can be like Proverbs 19 says, a dripping faucet and a man would be better off living on the corner of a house. God said it, don't be mad at me. Okay? He also says, Proverbs thirty one twenty six, she opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her [00:25:02] (39 seconds)  #WifeIsFirstMinistry

And when I first started out in ministry twenty years ago, that would get to me for days. I would lose sleep over it. But I can honestly tell you now, it gets to me for a little bit, but I sleep well. I sleep well. But if my wife is upset with me, if I have a a hint of just displeasure in her voice, nothing else matters. And I do lose a little sleep over that. I start questioning everything. And some of you could be like, well, why don't you grow a backbone, guy? [00:26:04] (31 seconds)  #WordsImpactMarriage

And I look, I wanna lean into this. Like, my wife is my first ministry. If it's not going well, this ministry does not matter. Does not matter. And so I don't ever wanna grow cold to that. I wanna be sensitive to how she feels. And and what I would tell you is the flip side of that coin is if my wife sends me affirmation, if she texts me on a Sunday morning like she will do at times before I get up to preach and says, hey babe, I just wanna tell you I love you, [00:26:42] (31 seconds)  #WomenMakeADifference

that you are here not by accident but by appointment, that God's gonna give you the words to say and he's gonna change lives today, I'm so proud of you. I believe in you. Let me tell I can run through a brick wall after that. [00:27:12] (17 seconds)  #WomenElevatedInScripture

Women, do you have the power to bring life or bring death with your words? What are you filling a room with? What are you filling your husband with? I heard somebody say it this way that I've never seen someone nagged into the kingdom of God. Listen, ladies, you are not the Holy Spirit. You cannot change your spouse. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can do that. [00:27:30] (34 seconds)  #DontNeglectYourVoice

Listen, you also need to speak the truth in love. You also may need to bring in his community who can call him out. And so I'm not saying you should be a rug and stepped on at all, but I'm saying to the majority, speak life. Don't get caught in a in a stream of cynicism and gossip and, you know, every time he wakes up and every time you go to bed and you're just filling your home with death. [00:28:23] (30 seconds)  #NickSabanMoment

There's a guy named Nick Saban, longtime Alabama football coach, I think the winningest coach of all time at this point. And I got to hear an interview with him where he talked about his wife. And he was telling a story of how they went back to her hometown. And they were at a gas station getting gas. She sees the attendant who works at the gas station. She's chatting him up and he's like, what's going on here? And she's she comes back to the car and she says, hey, that was whatever his name was, Johnny that I dated in high school. [00:30:01] (28 seconds)  #HelperIsStrength

Can you believe we just saw him here? And Nick Saban, this grizzly rough football coach is like, yeah. Okay. So that's great. Great for Johnny. And he says, you know, but aren't you lucky? And she says, no. What do you mean? He's like, well, aren't you lucky? You married me, not the guy working at the gas station. And she says, oh, no. Don't get it twisted. If I would have married him, he would be the head football coach at Alabama. [00:30:29] (28 seconds)  #HelperIsNotWeakness

You know, Ephesians five twenty two says that women are called to submit to their husband. Right? Last week we said men are called to lead. Lead, lead, lead. Wives are called, Genesis, to help. New Testament, submit. And we always get that tick in our neck like you just got right now. What is he talking about? And what I would just say in Ephesians five, submit to your husband not to every man. Okay? [00:31:15] (24 seconds)  #DatingIn2026Challenges