Practicing Solitude to Experience God's Love

John lets the final hours of Jesus slow down enough to be felt, not just figured out. Jesus washes feet, shares the meal, faces death, and then keeps saying the same thing over and over: love each other as he has loved. John hears Jesus speak of the Father’s house, the Spirit of truth, friendship instead of servanthood, fruit that lasts, and the Father’s own love coming to live inside his people.

John’s voice makes sense because John was not just one of the twelve, but one of the three, and he writes himself into the story as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” That title is not meant to sound pompous. That title sounds like the one thing his heart could not get over. John looks back at Jesus and says, love is the thing to hang on to. Love is not just something a disciple does. Love is something a disciple becomes.

The private moments with Jesus seem to have soaked John in this reality. The long conversation in John 13 through 17 happened in a small room, with death pressing in, and Jesus kept pulling his friends into the love he shared with the Father. The Father prepares a place because God wants communion with his people. The Spirit comes because God wants to know his people beneath the surface. Jesus says he will show himself because this relationship is not one-sided pity, but real friendship.

Solitude becomes the place where that love has room to show up. Love rarely moves well at the speed of hurry. Prayer can be thrown at God like a baseball, but prayer becomes communion when the soul slows down long enough to catch some of God’s heart. Scripture can become a verse of the day, a nugget of inspiration, but Scripture becomes love when the words sit long enough to become part of a person.

Solitude creates presence, listening, waiting, decision making, marinating, retreat, contemplation, and formation. The twenty minutes with a child, the two hours on a date, the two days away with a spouse, and the annual time with close friends all show the same thing: love needs alone space. Solitude with Jesus is not another item on a to-do list. Solitude gives a person a “be list” with God.

The practice begins with sacred space, with phones off and posture attentive. Silence then brings either one thought or zero thoughts before God, not a flood of every thought. The soul gently returns to Jesus, notices the Shepherd’s voice, and lets love bring the next invitation: “come follow me.”

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Love needs alone space [47:54] Love does not reach its deepest place when life stays tangled with noise, hurry, and everybody else’s needs. The relationship with Jesus needs the same kind of undistracted room that every real relationship needs. Solitude is not escape from love, but the space where love can finally become personal, present, and unhurried. [47:54]
• 2. John never got over being loved [41:14] John’s identity was captured by one phrase: “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” That was not ego, but astonishment. The deepest Christian formation begins when a person stops trying to be impressive and starts living from the shock of being loved by Christ. [41:14]
• 3. God wants beneath the surface [49:47] The sending of the Holy Spirit is not just a doctrine to file away. The Spirit is God’s way of communing with a person deeper than presentation, performance, and managed words. God’s love presses past the public version of a person and meets the hidden places where real transformation happens. [49:47]
• 4. Solitude moves at love’s pace [53:14] Hurry can produce activity, but it rarely produces communion. Scripture and prayer become formative when they slow down enough to soak into thought, feeling, and response. Solitude lets the soul stop managing God and start being with God. [53:14]
• 5. Silence can hold one thing [59:07] Solitude does not require a perfectly empty mind. The practice can hold one question, one Scripture, one relationship, or even no words at all. The soul can gently set aside the flood of thoughts and sit with Jesus long enough to notice what love is inviting next.
  
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [36:40] - Jesus Commands Love
• [39:17] - John Says God Is Love
• [40:15] - John’s Unique Gospel Voice
• [41:14] - The Disciple Jesus Loved
• [42:33] - Solitude Is Where Love Shows Up
• [43:09] - Alone Time Makes Love Real
• [47:13] - Solitude At A Faith Level
• [49:27] - God Prepares A Place For Communion
• [51:39] - Prayer Slows Down Into Love
• [53:34] - Presence, Listening, Waiting, Formation
• [57:28] - Preparing Sacred Space
• [58:25] - Sitting In Silence
• [59:50] - Noticing God’s Voice
• [61:00] - Practicing Solitude Together

Bible Reading

John 13:34-35
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” [36:40]

John 15:9-17
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.” [37:25]

1 John 4:7-12
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” [39:04]

Observation questions

1. In John 13 and 15, what repeated command keeps showing up in Jesus’ words, and what reasons does Jesus give for it?
2. In John 15:9-17, what relationship words does Jesus use for his disciples, and what does he say he wants them to produce? [37:40]
3. What details in these passages show that Jesus wants more than distant belief from his people—what shows closeness, friendship, and communion? [50:29]
4. What everyday examples help show why love often needs alone space—what kinds of relationships and timeframes were brought up? [43:20]

Interpretation questions

1. John seems deeply marked by being “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” Why might that identity shape the way a person reads the whole Christian life? What changes when someone starts from being loved instead of from trying to prove something? [41:14]
2. Jesus says, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” What makes that command richer and harder than simply “be nice” or “be helpful”?
3. Jesus prepares a place, sends the Spirit, and calls his disciples friends. What do those three gifts suggest about what God actually wants with his people? [49:47]
4. Love moves slowly enough to become presence, listening, waiting, and formation. Why does hurry so often block that kind of love, even when a person is still doing religious things? [53:14]

Application questions

1. Love needs alone space with Jesus. What usually crowds that out in real life for you right now—noise, schedule, phone, anxiety, or something else? What would it look like to make even a small but real space for him this week? [47:54]
2. John never seemed to get over being loved by Jesus. Is that how you mostly think of yourself before God, or do you more often think of yourself in terms of performance, failure, usefulness, or knowledge? What might it look like to live from being loved? [41:17]
3. God wants beneath the surface, not just the managed version of a person. Where are you most tempted to stay on the surface with God right now? What would honesty with him sound like in that place? [50:01]
4. Prayer can be thrown at God quickly, but communion takes more time. When you pray, do you mostly speak and move on, or do you leave room to notice what God may be putting on your heart? What might help you slow down? [51:53]
5. Scripture can become a quick inspirational line, or it can soak in until it becomes part of a person. Can you think of a recent verse or passage that needs more time in you? What would it look like to sit with just that one thing for a while? [52:42]
6. Silence does not require a perfectly empty mind; it can simply hold one thing before Jesus. If you were to bring one thing into silence this week, what would it be—a question, a decision, a relationship, a fear, or nothing at all? [59:17]
7. When love is present, there is often an invitation from Jesus: “Come follow me.” In one relationship in your life right now, what response to love may be opening up in front of you—presence, patience, truthfulness, forgiveness, a conversation, or simply staying close? [01:06:28]