Softening Hardened Hearts: From Bombay to Paul

The hardened heart shows up in Gordon Bombay long before he ever drives a limo onto the ice. The arrogance, the suits, the car, the cocky courtroom confidence, all of that is not the real problem. The real problem sits deeper. Gordon missed a penalty shot as a kid, lost his dad, heard his coach say he was disappointed, and then spent years trying to cover that hurt with success, status, and pretending he hated the thing he actually loved.

A hardened heart is not just anger or meanness. A hardened heart is a gradual loss of compassion, an unwillingness to forgive, and a resistance to emotional or spiritual growth. The danger is that it feels subtle. A marriage can drift because everything is “just busy.” A student can chase belonging and ignore the little compromises. A person can keep pushing things aside and call it normal life, while distance from God quietly grows.

Paul shows another kind of hardened heart. Paul was born Jewish, trained well, strict as a Pharisee, and serious about the law. Paul knew the right things, said the right things, and believed he was doing God’s work. But Paul was ravaging the church, dragging men and women from their homes, because religion had consumed him while relationship with God was missing.

Jesus meets Paul on the road to Damascus with a light from heaven and a question: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Jesus does not treat Paul’s violence as merely a bad habit or a wrong opinion. Jesus names it as an attack against himself. But Jesus also sends Paul forward, and God tells Ananias that Paul is “a chosen instrument of mine.” Paul’s old identity is not hidden, but it is no longer the final word.

Galatians shows Paul owning his former life without pretending it did not happen. Paul says he violently persecuted the church, but God had set him apart before he was born and called him by grace. The same man who tried to destroy the faith now preached the faith, and people glorified God because of the change.

Renewal does not happen by pretending hardness is not there. Romans 12 says transformation comes through the renewing of the mind, not conforming to the pattern of the world. The heart softens as lies get identified and replaced with truth. No heart is too hardened to be changed and transformed, not Gordon Bombay’s, not Paul’s, and not the heart that feels too far gone right now.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Hardness grows in subtle places A hardened heart rarely announces itself all at once. It often forms through small choices to push pain aside, avoid hard conversations, or call spiritual distance “just a season.” The danger is not only rebellion, but slow numbness that starts to feel normal. [34:14]
• 2. Religion can blind the heart Paul’s life shows that a person can know the rules, honor the traditions, and still miss the heart of God. His zeal was real, but it was aimed at control instead of surrender. Spiritual pride can be especially dangerous because it often sounds like faithfulness while resisting Jesus himself. [38:28]
• 3. Jesus changes a person’s identity Paul’s encounter with Jesus did not erase his past, but it did change what his past meant. The former persecutor became a witness, and the story that once brought shame became a reason for people to glorify God. Grace does not pretend sin was small; grace proves Christ is greater. [43:09]
• 4. Renewal reshapes ordinary decisions Romans 12 points to transformation through a renewed mind, not a quick emotional moment. The wisdom of God becomes the foundation of thinking, and then behavior begins to shift. Real renewal asks what patterns have been borrowed from the world and what parts of life need to be handed back to God. [58:27]
• 5. No heart is too hardened God called Paul a chosen instrument while others still remembered him as dangerous. That means hardness is not stronger than God’s ability to transform. The first step is not fixing everything, but admitting where the heart has closed and making room for God to tell the truth.
  
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [25:19] - Student Camps And Ministry Update
• [26:58] - Introducing Gordon Bombay
• [31:00] - The Missed Shot That Hardened Him
• [33:23] - What A Hardened Heart Means
• [36:07] - Paul’s Hardened Heart
• [40:05] - The Damascus Road Encounter
• [44:18] - Paul Owns His Former Life
• [47:09] - Conversion That Changes Communities
• [48:44] - Gordon Bombay Begins To Change
• [55:41] - Paul As God’s Chosen Instrument
• [57:52] - Renewal And Transformation
• [60:07] - Living Into A New Way Of Thinking
• [62:19] - Identifying Lies And Replacing Them
• [63:36] - Closing Prayer

1. According to Galatians 1:13-16, what details does Paul give about his former life, and what does he say God did instead? [44:45]
2. In Acts 9:3-4, what happens to Saul on the road to Damascus, and what exact question does Jesus ask him?
3. What words were used to define a hardened heart, and what signs were named as part of it? [33:23]
4. What were some of the everyday examples of subtle hardening that were described in marriage, friendship, or busy life? [34:14]

1. Jesus asks, “Why do you persecute me?” even though Saul was attacking Christians. What does that show about how closely Jesus identifies with his people? [41:18]
2. Paul was serious about religion, law, and tradition, yet still opposed Jesus. How can a person look spiritually committed on the outside while still resisting God on the inside? [38:28]
3. Acts 9:15 calls Paul a “chosen instrument” before most people would have trusted him. What does that reveal about the way God sees a person’s future differently from how others see their past? [55:56]
4. Romans 12:2 connects transformation with the renewing of the mind. Why does deep change seem to require more than a quick emotional moment or a surface-level decision? [58:27]

1. A hardened heart often grows in subtle ways, not dramatic ones. Where does life feel “just busy” right now, but underneath that busyness there may be distance from God? [34:14]
2. Gordon tried to cover old pain with success, image, and control. What hurt, disappointment, or lie is most tempting to cover over instead of bringing honestly before God? [32:34]
3. Paul’s story shows that zeal, rule-keeping, and spiritual activity can still hide pride. Where might there be more interest in looking faithful or being right than in actually walking closely with Jesus? [39:02]
4. Renewal begins by refusing to conform to the world’s patterns. What pattern feels most normal right now—work, money, relationships, approval, schedule, or something else—and what might it look like to hand that area back to God? [58:49]
5. Lies shape attitudes and actions until they are brought into the light. What is one lie that has been shaping decisions lately, and what truth from God needs to replace it? [01:02:19]
6. Making room for God usually requires something practical, not just good intentions. What is one specific change this week that could create space for prayer, solitude, honesty, or obedience? [55:24]
7. No heart is too hardened to be changed and transformed. Is there an area of personal life—or a particular person—that has started to feel beyond hope, and how does Paul’s story challenge that conclusion? [01:03:25]