Shepherding Hearts: The Journey of Faithful Parenting

 

Summary

In our discussion today, we explored the profound responsibility and privilege of parenting and grandparenting within the Christian faith. The focus was on shepherding the hearts of our children, emphasizing the importance of addressing the heart rather than merely managing behavior. This approach aligns with the biblical understanding that the heart is the wellspring of life, and true transformation comes from the gospel's work within us. We discussed the stages of parenting, from teaching young children to live under authority to helping teenagers internalize the gospel as their own faith.

A key theme was the solidarity parents can have with their children in recognizing shared sinfulness and the need for grace. This humility allows parents to correct their children without hypocrisy, acknowledging their own need for Christ's transforming power. We also addressed the importance of repentance, both immediate and reflective, as a powerful model for our children.

As children grow, the challenges of parenting evolve, particularly in today's rapidly changing cultural landscape. We highlighted the philosophical and technological challenges that parents face, such as the triumph of the therapeutic mindset and the pervasive influence of technology. In response, we emphasized the need for a strong biblical worldview and wise management of technology in the home.

Finally, we discussed the heartache of seeing children stray from the faith and the importance of trusting God's sovereignty while continuing to pray and maintain open lines of communication. We encouraged parents to avoid legalistic standards and instead foster a genuine relationship with Christ in their children. The role of community was underscored as vital for support and encouragement in this journey.

Key Takeaways:

1. Heart-Centered Parenting: Focusing on the heart rather than behavior management leads us to the gospel, which is the true source of transformation. This approach helps us address the root issues in our children's lives and points them to Christ's grace. [03:15]

2. Solidarity in Sinfulness: Parents can stand in solidarity with their children by acknowledging their own sinfulness and need for grace. This humility allows for genuine correction and discipleship without hypocrisy. [05:52]

3. Stages of Parenting: From teaching young children to live under authority to helping teenagers internalize their faith, each stage of parenting requires a unique focus. Understanding these stages helps parents guide their children effectively. [10:00]

4. Repentance and Forgiveness: Modeling repentance and seeking forgiveness from our children can be as impactful as getting it right initially. This practice teaches them about grace and the importance of reconciliation. [17:17]

5. Navigating Cultural Challenges: In a world of shifting cultural norms and technological advances, parents must provide a strong biblical worldview and manage technology wisely. Community support is crucial in navigating these challenges. [45:12]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:30] - Introduction to Parenting Discussion
- [01:08] - The Importance of Heart-Centered Parenting
- [02:36] - Focusing on the Heart and the Gospel
- [03:56] - The Inside-Out Transformation
- [05:18] - Solidarity in Sinfulness
- [07:06] - Stages of Parenting: Early Childhood
- [08:46] - Understanding Motivation in Middle Years
- [10:39] - Internalizing the Gospel in Teen Years
- [12:32] - Trusting God's Grace in Parenting
- [16:00] - Repentance and Forgiveness
- [19:38] - The Role of Discipline
- [23:48] - Loving Discipline and Its Importance
- [28:56] - When Children Stray from the Faith
- [35:39] - God's Sovereignty and Parental Responsibility
- [42:23] - Cultural and Technological Challenges
- [46:49] - The Importance of Community

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Proverbs 4:23 - "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
2. Ephesians 4:32 - "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
3. James 4:10 - "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."

---

Observation Questions:
1. How does the sermon describe the importance of focusing on the heart rather than just managing behavior in parenting? ([03:15])
2. What are the stages of parenting mentioned in the sermon, and how do they differ in focus? ([10:00])
3. According to the sermon, how can parents stand in solidarity with their children in recognizing shared sinfulness? ([05:52])
4. What cultural and technological challenges are highlighted in the sermon as significant for parents today? ([45:12])

---

Interpretation Questions:
1. How does focusing on the heart align with the biblical understanding of transformation through the gospel? ([03:15])
2. In what ways does acknowledging shared sinfulness between parents and children foster genuine correction and discipleship? ([05:52])
3. How can parents model repentance and forgiveness to their children, and why is this important? ([17:17])
4. What role does community play in supporting parents as they navigate cultural and technological challenges? ([46:49])

---

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current parenting or grandparenting approach. How can you shift your focus more towards shepherding the heart rather than just managing behavior? ([03:15])
2. Think of a recent situation where you corrected your child. How did you acknowledge your own need for grace in that moment? How might this change your approach in the future? ([05:52])
3. Identify a specific stage of parenting you are currently in. What unique challenges are you facing, and how can you apply the sermon’s insights to address them? ([10:00])
4. Consider a time when you had to ask for forgiveness from your child. How did it impact your relationship, and what did it teach your child about grace? ([17:17])
5. What specific steps can you take to manage technology wisely in your home, ensuring it aligns with a strong biblical worldview? ([45:12])
6. How can you actively engage with your church community to gain support and encouragement in your parenting journey? ([46:49])
7. Reflect on a child or grandchild who may be straying from the faith. How can you trust in God’s sovereignty while maintaining open lines of communication and prayer? ([31:24])

Devotional

Day 1: Heart Transformation Over Behavior Management
Focusing on the heart rather than behavior management leads us to the gospel, which is the true source of transformation. This approach helps us address the root issues in our children's lives and points them to Christ's grace. By shepherding the hearts of our children, we align with the biblical understanding that the heart is the wellspring of life. True transformation comes from the gospel's work within us, not merely from external compliance. This heart-centered approach encourages children to develop a genuine relationship with Christ, rather than just following rules. [03:15]

Ezekiel 36:26-27 (ESV): "And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules."

Reflection: Consider a recent situation where you focused on behavior rather than the heart. How can you address the heart issue in a way that points to Christ's grace today?


Day 2: Solidarity in Sinfulness
Parents can stand in solidarity with their children by acknowledging their own sinfulness and need for grace. This humility allows for genuine correction and discipleship without hypocrisy. By recognizing shared sinfulness, parents can model the gospel's transformative power in their own lives, demonstrating the need for Christ's grace. This approach fosters an environment of mutual understanding and growth, where both parents and children can learn and grow together in their faith journey. [05:52]

James 5:16 (ESV): "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you corrected your child without acknowledging your own need for grace. How can you model humility and solidarity in sinfulness with your child today?


Day 3: Guiding Through Stages of Parenting
From teaching young children to live under authority to helping teenagers internalize their faith, each stage of parenting requires a unique focus. Understanding these stages helps parents guide their children effectively. As children grow, the challenges of parenting evolve, requiring parents to adapt their approach to meet their children's changing needs. By recognizing the distinct needs of each stage, parents can provide appropriate guidance and support, helping their children develop a strong, personal faith. [10:00]

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV): "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Reflection: Identify the current stage of parenting you are in. What specific steps can you take today to guide your child effectively in this stage?


Day 4: Repentance and Forgiveness as a Model
Modeling repentance and seeking forgiveness from our children can be as impactful as getting it right initially. This practice teaches them about grace and the importance of reconciliation. By demonstrating repentance, parents show their children that everyone makes mistakes and that seeking forgiveness is a vital part of the Christian life. This approach not only teaches children about grace but also encourages them to practice forgiveness and reconciliation in their own lives. [17:17]

Colossians 3:13 (ESV): "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Reflection: Think of a recent mistake you made with your child. How can you model repentance and seek forgiveness from them today?


Day 5: Navigating Cultural and Technological Challenges
In a world of shifting cultural norms and technological advances, parents must provide a strong biblical worldview and manage technology wisely. Community support is crucial in navigating these challenges. As cultural and technological landscapes change rapidly, parents face new challenges in guiding their children. By fostering a strong biblical worldview and managing technology wisely, parents can help their children navigate these challenges while maintaining their faith. Community support provides encouragement and accountability, helping parents stay grounded in their faith. [45:12]

Romans 12:2 (ESV): "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Reflection: Evaluate your family's use of technology. What steps can you take today to ensure it aligns with a strong biblical worldview?

Quotes


But if I focus on the heart and recognize that, as you alluded to, Proverbs 4:23 a moment ago, the heart is the wellspring of life, that my focus is on the heart. And that the problem of behavior, things we say and do flow out of the heart. And so if the heart is the focus, then I have no hope other than the gospel. [00:02:56]

And so having that focus, I think, just helps so much in parenting just to bring me back to, OK, what are the heart issues? Now obviously I've got a track behavior. I've got to say, you may not do that. But I want to give a focus on the heart all the time. And I think that is really what separates shepherding a child's heart from many books on parenting that have a lot of helpful ideas about how to manage kids. [00:04:11]

But for me, to stand alongside them and say, I get it. I understand selfishness. I know how it works in the human heart. And there's hope for people like you and daddy. It's found Christ, and His grace, His capacity to change us and transform us. And so I can stand in complete solidarity with them in their struggles, and I never have to be, like you were saying, hypocritically distancing myself from my kids, and saying things that shame them. [00:05:47]

I think the first five years-- the big picture idea, I think, in those first five years is teaching children to live under authority. And it's not just simply a mom and dad's authority and how can I get them to obey me, but it's a bigger picture of hierarchy that recognizes there's a God in heaven who's good. He's put you in the family. He's given you a mommy daddy who love you. [00:06:54]

Because no one has better resources for understanding motivation than a Christian. Because God's word describes motivation, things like the fear of man rather than the fear of the Lord, or revenge rather than entrusting ourself to God, or pride rather than humility, or hatred rather than love, or peacemaking rather than anger, rebellion rather than submission. I mean, there's so many descriptions of motivational things in the word of God. [00:08:41]

And I think with teens, I think about internalizing the gospel. Helping them in making that transference that has to happen for our kids, where they move from, I believe these things because it's what I've been taught, to the point where they have embraced it for themselves as their own living faith. And I think helping them to do that and walking them through that and walking through the inevitable doubts that come as our kids realize, boy, there's some clever people out there, smart people, interesting people, creative people that don't believe everything mom and dad have taught us. [00:10:07]

I think that sometimes seeking forgiveness and honestly facing our sin can be just as powerful in our children's lives as if we had gotten right to begin with. Because we're modeling for them the grace of seeking forgiveness and extending forgiveness. And the scripture says, if anyone says he has not said he's a liar, the truth isn't in him, and yet many children have never had their parents confess or acknowledge sin. [00:17:11]

And one of the things I will say to our kids and have over the years is just like you're not perfect and just like you're sinful, so am I. And I'm not perfect either. And I need Jesus just as much as you do. And I think sometimes parents, we can seem to set a different standard for our kids, as if they need Christ more than we do. [00:20:22]

And I think sometimes we, again, set a different standard for our children and make them feel extra guilty for doing the same things or sitting in the same ways or messing up in similar ways as they have before. And I think we need to really encourage them to know that they're going to sin and they're going to mess up and that they need to be aware of the abundant grace of God, and that there's no end to that grace, there's no limit to that grace. [00:26:12]

And so sometimes, I have found, that children who leave the home and then leave those sets of pharisaical legalistic standards, sometimes parents think, well, they've wandered from their faith. They've wandered from the church, they wanted from God. When in fact, all they've done has wandered from that legalistic pharisaical standard. And so we need to be very careful that we are acknowledging that if our children love Jesus and they're trusting Jesus and they're resting in Christ, they haven't actually wandered from the faith. [00:39:23]

And so people are always entertaining themselves. They're amusing themselves. Of course, amusement means no thinking. So our kids just have this incredible source of sometimes banal entertainment that is just in their pocket all the time. And I think that challenge-- the challenge of how to manage technology as my kids are growing up in the home, how to prepare them and equip them to live in this connected world is a layer of challenge that I never had to face as a parent of teenagers, because I didn't live-- my kids were young in the '80s, and so I didn't face that problem. [00:43:42]

And I think one of the things that we need more desperately than we really ever needed is a genuine and strong community of believers around us. That we need to work very, very hard to foster that community. For ourselves as parents, I think that's one of the greatest things that we can do. I mentioned a little while ago how, Chris, you and Jennifer have been such dear friends and such good examples to me and Amber. [00:46:49]

Chatbot

  • I'm an AI bot trained specifically on the sermon from Jan 28, 2022. Do you have any questions about it?

Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?