Selfless Marriage: Pursuing God in Relationships
Summary
### Summary
This morning, we gathered to pray corporately for several important matters: rest and rejuvenation for Pastor Stephan and Louise, a commitment from our congregation to reach out and disciple others, the impact of the middle school camp, and to give praise for the testimonies and blessings we've received. We then transitioned into a new sermon series on "Selfless Marriage," a topic close to my heart due to my experiences in marriage counseling and my own marriage journey.
Marriage is a divine institution, a mysterious unity between man and woman, designed by God. Despite the cultural complexities and differing approaches to marriage, the biblical foundation remains simple and profound. We explored the differences between cultural and biblical views on marriage, emphasizing that marriage is not a human invention but a God-ordained union meant to reflect Christ's relationship with the Church.
For singles, the message was clear: pursue Jesus wholeheartedly. As you run towards Him, you will find those who are also running the same race, and those are the ones you should consider for marriage. This approach ensures that your relationship is built on a solid foundation of faith and mutual pursuit of God.
For married couples, we delved into Ephesians 5, which outlines the roles and responsibilities within a marriage. Wives are called to submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord, and husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, sacrificing and serving selflessly. This mutual submission and love create a harmonious and God-honoring marriage.
We also discussed the importance of being filled with the Holy Spirit, as it is only through His power that we can truly live out these biblical principles. The call to action was to evaluate whether we are following culture's way or God's way in our marriages and to take practical steps towards aligning our lives with God's design.
### Key Takeaways
1. Pursue Jesus First: For singles, the primary focus should be on pursuing Jesus with all your heart. As you run towards Him, you will naturally find others who are doing the same. This ensures that your relationship is built on a solid foundation of faith and mutual pursuit of God. [25:09]
2. Marriage is a Divine Institution: Marriage is not a human invention but a God-ordained union meant to reflect Christ's relationship with the Church. Understanding this divine purpose helps us approach marriage with the reverence and commitment it deserves. [29:47]
3. Mutual Submission and Love: Ephesians 5 calls for mutual submission and love within marriage. Wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. This creates a harmonious and God-honoring marriage. [49:08]
4. Filled with the Holy Spirit: Living out these biblical principles in marriage is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. We must seek daily filling and guidance from the Holy Spirit to love and submit selflessly. [51:23]
5. Evaluate and Align: Regularly evaluate whether you are following culture's way or God's way in your marriage. Take practical steps to align your life with God's design, ensuring that your marriage reflects His love and purpose. [42:00]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[14:14] - Corporate Prayer
[17:27] - Prayer for the Great Commission
[20:28] - Introduction to Selfless Marriage Series
[21:24] - The Mystery of Marriage
[22:29] - Cultural vs. Biblical Views on Marriage
[23:17] - Message to Singles
[25:09] - Pursuing Jesus in Singleness
[27:20] - Transition to Marriage Focus
[29:47] - Biblical Foundation of Marriage
[31:49] - Culture's Lies About Marriage
[42:00] - God's Blueprint for Marriage
[49:08] - Ephesians 5: Mutual Submission and Love
[51:23] - Importance of the Holy Spirit
[59:17] - Husbands: Love as Christ Loved the Church
[01:05:26] - Practical Steps and Closing Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. Ephesians 5:21-33 (ESV)
> "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
2. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (ESV)
> "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
3. Galatians 2:20 (ESV)
> "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
### Observation Questions
1. According to Ephesians 5, what are the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives in a marriage? ([49:08])
2. What does 1 Corinthians 7 suggest about the focus of single individuals versus married individuals? ([23:38])
3. How does Galatians 2:20 describe the life of a believer in relation to Christ? ([41:39])
4. What are some cultural lies about marriage mentioned in the sermon, and how do they contrast with the biblical view? ([35:04])
### Interpretation Questions
1. How does mutual submission in Ephesians 5:21-33 create a harmonious and God-honoring marriage? ([49:08])
2. In what ways does 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 encourage singles to pursue Jesus wholeheartedly? How does this pursuit impact their potential future marriages? ([23:38])
3. How can the principle of being "crucified with Christ" in Galatians 2:20 be applied to the daily life of a married couple? ([41:39])
4. Why is it important to evaluate whether we are following culture's way or God's way in our marriages, as discussed in the sermon? ([42:00])
### Application Questions
1. For singles: How can you actively pursue Jesus in your daily life? What practical steps can you take to ensure your focus remains on Him? ([25:09])
2. For married couples: Reflect on your current marriage dynamics. Are there areas where you need to practice more mutual submission and love? How can you start implementing these changes this week? ([49:08])
3. How can you seek the filling of the Holy Spirit daily to help you live out the biblical principles of marriage? What specific prayers or practices can you incorporate into your routine? ([51:23])
4. Identify one cultural lie about marriage that you have believed or struggled with. How can you replace this lie with a biblical truth? ([35:04])
5. For husbands: What is one specific way you can love your wife as Christ loved the church this week? Consider a sacrificial act of service or a gesture of love. ([59:17])
6. For wives: What is one area in your marriage where you can practice submission out of reverence for Christ? How can you approach this with a selfless heart? ([54:02])
7. Evaluate your current relationship with Jesus. Are there distractions or habits that are hindering your devotion to Him? What steps can you take to minimize these distractions and deepen your relationship with Christ? ([42:00])
Devotional
Day 1: Pursue Jesus First
Description: For singles, the primary focus should be on pursuing Jesus with all your heart. As you run towards Him, you will naturally find others who are doing the same. This ensures that your relationship is built on a solid foundation of faith and mutual pursuit of God. The idea is to prioritize your relationship with Jesus above all else, trusting that He will guide you to the right person who shares your commitment to Him. This approach not only strengthens your personal faith but also sets the stage for a God-centered relationship. [25:09]
Matthew 6:33 (ESV): "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Reflection: Think about your current priorities. Are you truly seeking Jesus first in your life? What practical steps can you take today to ensure that your relationship with Him is your primary focus?
Day 2: Marriage is a Divine Institution
Description: Marriage is not a human invention but a God-ordained union meant to reflect Christ's relationship with the Church. Understanding this divine purpose helps us approach marriage with the reverence and commitment it deserves. This perspective shifts our view of marriage from a mere social contract to a sacred covenant. Recognizing that marriage is designed by God to mirror His love for the Church can transform how we treat our spouses and how we view the institution of marriage itself. [29:47]
Genesis 2:24 (ESV): "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Reflection: How does viewing marriage as a divine institution change your perspective on your own marriage or future marriage? What steps can you take to honor this divine purpose in your relationship?
Day 3: Mutual Submission and Love
Description: Ephesians 5 calls for mutual submission and love within marriage. Wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. This creates a harmonious and God-honoring marriage. Mutual submission and love are not about power dynamics but about serving one another selflessly. This biblical model encourages both partners to prioritize each other's needs and to love sacrificially, fostering a relationship that reflects God's love and grace. [49:08]
Ephesians 5:21-25 (ESV): "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Reflection: In what ways can you practice mutual submission and love in your marriage or future marriage? How can you serve your spouse selflessly today?
Day 4: Filled with the Holy Spirit
Description: Living out these biblical principles in marriage is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. We must seek daily filling and guidance from the Holy Spirit to love and submit selflessly. The Holy Spirit empowers us to live according to God's design, providing the strength and wisdom needed to navigate the complexities of marriage. By relying on the Holy Spirit, we can overcome our natural tendencies towards selfishness and instead cultivate a marriage that honors God. [51:23]
Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV): "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Reflection: Are you actively seeking the Holy Spirit's guidance in your marriage or relationships? What specific actions can you take to invite the Holy Spirit's presence and power into your daily interactions with your spouse?
Day 5: Evaluate and Align
Description: Regularly evaluate whether you are following culture's way or God's way in your marriage. Take practical steps to align your life with God's design, ensuring that your marriage reflects His love and purpose. This involves a conscious effort to reject cultural norms that contradict biblical principles and to embrace God's blueprint for marriage. By continually assessing and realigning your relationship with God's Word, you can build a marriage that stands firm on a foundation of faith and divine purpose. [42:00]
Romans 12:2 (ESV): "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Reflection: Take a moment to evaluate your marriage or relationship. Are there areas where you have conformed to cultural norms rather than God's design? What practical steps can you take today to realign your relationship with God's will?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Marriage is such a wonderful and frustrating and amazing and yet rewarding experience and unity that we can have here and can have with somebody else too. So, but again, it's amazing to me how God put man and woman together. We are so opposite and different, but yet it is amazing, mysterious unity that works." [21:24] (21 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "When we run after, and we're single, don't just run after your wife or, you know, don't run after another guy. But what we're supposed to do is we run after Jesus. So what we're doing is we're running after Jesus as hard and as fast as we can. Get to know Jesus better. And as we run towards Jesus, we look to our left and we look to our right. And we see anybody else that keep up with us as we're running towards Jesus, those are the ones you want to marry." [25:09] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "Marriage is not a human creation or invention but a God given, God initiated and God ordained institution. God intended marriage to monogamous lifelong union between one man, one woman to exclusion of all others. Furthermore, God also intended for that those who are married not be close blood relatives. Marriage is constituted in mutual covenant and a solemn binding agreement entering before God and others." [29:47] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "Marriage is actually very simple. It's not crazy complicated. God didn't give us an extensive set of rules. It's very, very simple in how we enter into marriage and how we actually continue on with marriage. So then the question comes then, why is it so complicated? Why do so many of us struggle with marriage? Because the divorce rate in Canada for marriage I think is at 38%. So why do so many of us struggle in marriage?" [31:17] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "We have an advantage as Christians when it comes to marriage because we know the creator of marriage. We know the intention of marriage. We know how marriage is supposed to function. So we have an advantage over everybody else where we can go to the creator and say, Lord, what do you intend to do with us? Because like we showed you in our statement of beliefs, marriage is not a human institution. Marriage was created by God." [34:03] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
### Quotes for Members
1. "Marriage then can be also equated to it's two forgivers living together. We are constantly forgiving one another and we're constantly challenging one another as we go forward. But again, in this too we have a foundation that me and Andrew are built on. And I think it's important for you to know what do we believe as a church? What does Southland believe what marriage should be?" [29:24] (23 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "When you are lonely before marriage, you are lonely because there's a God-sized void inside of you. There's this void that cannot be filled with media, or movies, or drugs, or sex, or anything. This void will be there because it will only be filled by God. And that's why many of us always say, when you are single, pursue Jesus. Run after God because it will fill that void." [36:36] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "So I want to change the wording from happily ever after. How about to happily even after? How about even if my wife does something that annoys me, I will still love her. And what if my husband does something that just is the seventh time today he's done this, I will still love and forgive. So I think we can change those words and say, even happily even after, I will still forgive you." [38:16] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "So if we look at God's way now this is the part I want to get to. Can we all just agree that God is a good God? Do we agree with that? God is a loving God, right? Marriage is from God so can we say that marriage is a good gift from God? So knowing that and from a very first wedding from Adam and Eve Isaac and Rebecca and today to all of us here who've been married there are many cultural norms that will come and go like wedding rings might go one day who knows?" [42:00] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So here we can see we are still under that verse 21 we have to submit but now we get this added piece that we are supposed to love our wives as Christ loved the church and this is a great commandment we should take very seriously and sometimes we kind of just breeze over that last part as he loved the church and gave himself up for her." [59:44] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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