Seeing Through Others' Eyes: The Power of Understanding

 

Summary

Understanding is the ability to see patterns of behavior and the underlying values that give coherence and meaning to people’s lives. Much like viewing the front of a tapestry, understanding allows us to see the beauty and purpose in what might otherwise seem confusing or even foolish. This process requires patience, humility, and a willingness to withhold judgment until we have truly seen the bigger picture. Often, our first impressions or assumptions—like thinking a flight attendant was slighting us, or assuming our children are lazy—are proven wrong when we take the time to learn the full story. True understanding comes as we intentionally seek to see life from another’s perspective, recognizing that our own way of seeing is not the only legitimate one.

God has created each person and culture with unique patterns and designs, reflecting His image and creativity. Every human being carries God’s imprint, which gives each of us dignity and worth. To understand others, we must be patient learners, willing to ask questions and listen deeply, even when answers are not immediately clear. This is not just an intellectual exercise, but a spiritual discipline that requires us to value others as equals, regardless of status, background, or culture.

A powerful illustration of this is the act of exchanging glasses—choosing to see the world through another’s eyes, rather than insisting they see it through ours. This mutual exchange is only possible when there is trust, equality, and a genuine desire to understand. Trust grows as we affirm the dignity and value of others, and as we welcome them into our lives with warmth and acceptance.

Ultimately, understanding is foundational to serving others well. We cannot serve people we do not understand; otherwise, our service may be misguided or even harmful, despite good intentions. True servanthood is dynamic and relational, not a linear process but a circle of acceptance, learning, trust, and service. Jesus modeled this kind of leadership—not lording over others, but serving them sacrificially. As we follow His example, we are called to serve in ways that affirm the dignity of others and point them toward God.

Key Takeaways

- True understanding is seeing the patterns and underlying values in people’s lives, much like discerning the design in a tapestry. This requires patience and a willingness to look beyond surface confusion or initial judgments, trusting that God’s design is present even when it’s not immediately visible. [01:19]

- Quick judgments often lead us astray, as illustrated by the stories of the flight attendant and the snow-shoveling boys. Withholding judgment until we have the full picture is an act of humility and love, allowing us to see others as God sees them rather than through the lens of our assumptions. [05:40]

- Gaining another person’s perspective is a spiritual discipline that requires intentional effort. Exchanging “glasses” with someone else—truly seeking to see the world as they do—fosters mutual understanding, trust, and equality, and breaks down the barriers of egocentrism and ethnocentrism. [12:42]

- Trust is the foundation for meaningful learning and service. People only share their hearts and lives when they feel valued and secure, so affirming the dignity and worth of others is essential for building the kind of relationships where true understanding and transformation can happen. [21:50]

- Servanthood is not a linear process but a dynamic, relational circle of acceptance, learning, trust, and service. We are called to serve as Jesus did—not by controlling or lording over others, but by elevating their dignity and pointing them toward God through our humble, understanding service. [24:54]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:19] - Understanding as Seeing Patterns
[05:40] - The Flight Attendant Story: Judging Too Quickly
[07:34] - The Snow Shoveling Boys: Withholding Judgment
[08:30] - The Importance of Perspective
[09:41] - The Glasses Illustration: Mutual Understanding
[11:35] - Egocentrism vs. Empathy
[12:42] - Building Mutual Trust
[14:15] - Equality and Human Dignity
[15:43] - Seeing Each Other as Equals
[17:36] - Practical Steps to Understanding
[19:30] - Serving with Understanding
[21:50] - The Foundation of Trust
[22:36] - Servanthood as a Dynamic Circle
[23:45] - Global Perspectives on Servanthood
[24:54] - Jesus’ Model of Servant Leadership
[26:10] - Closing Prayer and Blessing

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Understanding Others as Christ Did

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### Bible Reading

Matthew 20:25-28 (NIV)
> Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Genesis 1:26-27 (NIV)
> Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

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### Observation Questions

1. In Matthew 20:25-28, what does Jesus say is the difference between the way the world leads and the way his followers should lead?
2. According to Genesis 1:26-27, what is unique about the way God created people? What does it mean that we are made in God’s image?
3. The sermon described understanding as “seeing the patterns and underlying values in people’s lives, much like discerning the design in a tapestry.” What examples did the speaker use to show how first impressions can be misleading? [[05:40]]
4. What illustration did the speaker use to show what it means to “exchange glasses” with someone else? [[12:42]]

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why does Jesus connect greatness with servanthood in Matthew 20:25-28? How does this challenge common ideas about leadership and status?
2. The sermon says that every person and culture reflects God’s image and creativity. How might this truth affect the way we view people who are different from us? [[15:43]]
3. The speaker shared stories about making quick judgments (like with the flight attendant and his sons). What do these stories reveal about the dangers of acting on assumptions? [[05:40]]
4. Why is trust described as the foundation for meaningful learning and service? What happens in relationships when trust is missing? [[21:50]]

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### Application Questions

1. Think of a recent time when you made a quick judgment about someone. What was the outcome? How might things have been different if you had waited to understand the full story? [[05:40]]
2. The sermon talks about “exchanging glasses” to see the world from another’s perspective. Is there someone in your life right now whose perspective you need to better understand? What is one step you could take this week to listen more deeply to them? [[12:42]]
3. The speaker said, “You cannot serve somebody you do not understand.” Are there people you are trying to help or serve without really knowing their needs or story? How could you begin to learn more about them before acting? [[19:30]]
4. The idea of affirming the dignity and worth of others was emphasized. What is one practical way you can affirm someone’s value this week—especially someone who is different from you or who you find difficult to relate to? [[15:43]]
5. The sermon described servanthood as a “dynamic, relational circle” rather than a straight line. How does this idea change the way you think about serving others in your family, church, or workplace? [[22:36]]
6. Jesus modeled servant leadership by giving up his rights and serving others. What is one area of your life where you tend to “lord it over” others or insist on your own way? What would it look like to follow Jesus’ example there? [[24:54]]
7. The speaker mentioned that trust grows as we welcome others with warmth and acceptance. Is there someone you need to welcome or include more intentionally in your life or community? What is a first step you could take? [[21:50]]

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Devotional

Day 1: Seeing the Pattern—God’s Design in People and Cultures
Understanding is the ability to see patterns of behavior and underlying values, much like turning over a tapestry to reveal its beautiful design. At first, the world and its cultures may seem confusing or even unattractive, but as we patiently observe and learn, we begin to see the purpose and meaning behind people’s actions. God has created each person and culture with intentionality, and as we recognize His image in others, we affirm their dignity and worth. This perspective calls us to patience and humility as we seek to understand rather than judge. [01:19]

Genesis 1:27 (ESV)
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Reflection: Where in your daily life do you tend to see only the “back of the tapestry” in others—judging before understanding? How can you pause today to look for God’s design in someone different from you?


Day 2: Withholding Judgment—Patience Before Conclusions
Quick judgments often lead us astray, causing us to misinterpret others’ actions and intentions. When we assume we have all the information, we risk misunderstanding and even misrepresenting people. True understanding requires patience, a willingness to gather more information, and humility to admit when we are wrong. By withholding judgment and seeking the bigger picture, we honor others and open ourselves to deeper relationships and learning. [07:40]

James 1:19 (ESV)
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Reflection: Think of a recent situation where you made a snap judgment about someone. What would it look like to revisit that situation with patience and a desire to understand their perspective?


Day 3: Mutual Understanding—Seeing Through Another’s Eyes
True understanding comes when we are willing to see the world through another person’s perspective, not just insisting that they see things our way. This mutual exchange requires humility, trust, and a recognition of equal value in every person. When we “exchange glasses,” we move beyond egocentrism and ethnocentrism, building relationships rooted in empathy and respect. This posture allows us to appreciate the richness of diversity and to learn from one another in meaningful ways. [14:15]

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Reflection: Who in your life do you need to make a greater effort to understand? What practical step can you take today to see a situation from their point of view?


Day 4: Affirming Dignity—Trust and Value in Relationships
Trust is the foundation for genuine learning and understanding in relationships, and trust grows when we affirm the dignity and worth of others. When people feel valued and secure in our presence, they are more willing to share their lives and perspectives. This dynamic of acceptance, learning, and trust is not linear but circular, happening in different ways and at different times. By honoring others as equals, regardless of status or background, we create space for authentic connection and growth. [22:36]

Romans 12:10 (ESV)
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Reflection: Is there someone you interact with regularly who may not feel truly valued by you? How can you intentionally affirm their dignity and worth in your next encounter?


Day 5: Servanthood—Serving with Understanding, Not Authority
Jesus calls us to a different kind of leadership—one that serves rather than lords over others. We cannot truly serve someone we do not understand; otherwise, our efforts may be misguided or even oppressive. Servanthood is a dynamic, ongoing process that involves learning about, from, and with others, always rooted in trust and mutual respect. As we serve with understanding, we reflect Christ’s own sacrificial love and invite others to see God through our actions. [24:54]

Matthew 20:25-28 (ESV)
But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Reflection: In what area of your life are you tempted to “lord it over” others rather than serve? What is one way you can practice Christlike servanthood with understanding today?

Quotes

Understanding is the ability to see patterns of behavior and underlying values that reveal the integrated wholeness and integrity of a person and a people. [00:02:04]

But if you turn a tapestry and look only at the back, what do you see? Hardly any design, threads hanging there. It's confusing. It's a mess. It's not at all attractive. That's how we see culture in the early stages, like the back of a tapestry. And little by little as we exercise these kinds of skill sets and attitudes, little by little we pull the tapestry back and we look and we see pattern. We see design. There's purpose. We begin to understand. [00:01:04]

The biblical concepts here are creation. God has created wonderful design and patterns not only in his world but in each people group and each people group uses God-given knowledge, their brains, their will, their choices to make life meaningful for themselves in the image of God. [00:03:21]

The fact that we all are reflections of God's image, that is his image indwells us, his imprint, there's something that God gave to us at the point of life that is uniquely his imprint that distinguishes us from the animals and the plants, that makes us distinctly human beings. And on that basis people have dignity and worth. [00:03:45]

It takes patience to figure these things out and it also means that we have to withhold judgment and then discernment to see the big picture and the tapestry to the big picture starts to come together and actually you can spend a whole lifetime learning a new culture. [00:05:17]

I assumed that I had all the information. That was not true. And I was wrong and not patient, and I didn't see the big picture. Fortunately, God showed me the big picture rather quickly, and I thought, oh, my goodness, why do I do those things? [00:07:12]

When we make these quick judgments, before we get all of the information, there's a good chance that we may misrepresent some people. So now I have the big picture. And it doesn't take long, but sometimes it takes a while. We have to be patient. Sometimes. But you'd think we would learn more quickly not to make these quick judgments. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we don't. [00:08:21]

We have to get the other person's perspective. We have to learn how they see life, how they organize life, what they do and why they do these things and what their motivation is and how it all makes sense for them. [00:08:45]

If I take my glasses off and put them on your face, what's the message? Try to see the world, how I see it. How I see it. And you, when you're doing the same thing, you want me... I see Yes. That is an egocentric, ethnocentric perspective. I want you to see the way I see. And you both... And if both of you are saying that, it's kind of a standoff then. No, that's not going to work. [00:11:35]

If I'm taking your glasses off, I'm saying to you, I would like to see the way you see and you're doing the same thing. And now we're trying to understand each other, trying to see each other's world the way the other person sees it. [00:12:43]

This has to be a mutual exchange. Absolutely. It has to be a cooperative. It's a team effort. It's a team effort. It requires cooperation. Both of us have to be willing to do it. And then if we're willing to do it, at least one of the outcomes would be, I think you said it. We understand each other better because we see things the way the other person sees it. [00:13:52]

My perspective is not the only right perspective or legitimate perspective. [00:14:42]

If you're going to do something like this, there has to be mutual trust. Yeah. Okay. I think that's absolutely correct. Because if you don't trust each other, it's not going to work. You might just as well forget it. [00:15:02]

Even if there's radical difference in status as human beings we're equal, as male and female we're equal, as older and younger we're equal, as Russian and American we're equal, you see. And so Hertzberg is trying to say, when humanity meets humanity, we're the same. [00:16:05]

The ability to relate to people in such a way that their dignity as human beings is affirmed, and they are more empowered to live their lives in God-glorifying ways. I think the bottom line, the purpose for serving, is to be able to elevate people in their quality of life, to affirm their dignity and their value as human beings, and then in so doing, to do what C.S. Lewis suggests, and then in those human relationships, to show people God, to show people God's Son, Jesus, and to nudge them closer to a God-likeness. [00:19:18]

You cannot serve somebody you do not understand, or you'll serve them as the monkey serves the fish. Serving has to be done with understanding that we get through talking and relating to and sharing our lives with other people that we're living with and attempting to serve. And this is true in our home. It's in our families. It's in our churches. It's in our societies. It's in our jobs. It's everywhere. [00:20:43]

But we cannot serve somebody we do not understand. At best, we will only be benevolent, kind oppressors. Not a happy thought. [00:21:22]

But understanding is not going to happen unless we're good learners. Learning about people, learning from them, beyond the language learning, beyond the basic learning. And then ultimately, when the relationship is strong, learning with them, synergistic kinds of learning. [00:21:32]

But that learning isn't going to happen until there's trust. Because we don't share important information unless we trust somebody, and then we are willing to share. But trust doesn't happen until...until we feel as though the other person values us. They honor us as human beings, they affirm our dignity and our worth and value. [00:21:50]

So that the idea of servanthood, which is here at the bottom, the idea of servanthood, when you're accepting someone, you can enter the circle anywhere, you can accept them or you can be learning. And so servanthood is really this dynamic of things happening at different places, different times. [00:23:22]

Jesus called them together and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them and their high officials exercise authority over them. That's the Gentile or the pagan form of leadership of authority. Standing over people, controlling people, being authoritative, being self-serving in their leadership. And Jesus says that's not the kind of leadership that you're to exercise as believers. Verse 26. So if we're going to be like Jesus, we need to be servants. [00:24:54]

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Transcript
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