Seeing Through Others' Eyes: The Power of Understanding

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Understanding is the ability to see patterns of behavior and underlying values that reveal the integrated wholeness and integrity of a person and a people. [00:02:04]

But if you turn a tapestry and look only at the back, what do you see? Hardly any design, threads hanging there. It's confusing. It's a mess. It's not at all attractive. That's how we see culture in the early stages, like the back of a tapestry. And little by little as we exercise these kinds of skill sets and attitudes, little by little we pull the tapestry back and we look and we see pattern. We see design. There's purpose. We begin to understand. [00:01:04]

The biblical concepts here are creation. God has created wonderful design and patterns not only in his world but in each people group and each people group uses God-given knowledge, their brains, their will, their choices to make life meaningful for themselves in the image of God. [00:03:21]

The fact that we all are reflections of God's image, that is his image indwells us, his imprint, there's something that God gave to us at the point of life that is uniquely his imprint that distinguishes us from the animals and the plants, that makes us distinctly human beings. And on that basis people have dignity and worth. [00:03:45]

It takes patience to figure these things out and it also means that we have to withhold judgment and then discernment to see the big picture and the tapestry to the big picture starts to come together and actually you can spend a whole lifetime learning a new culture. [00:05:17]

I assumed that I had all the information. That was not true. And I was wrong and not patient, and I didn't see the big picture. Fortunately, God showed me the big picture rather quickly, and I thought, oh, my goodness, why do I do those things? [00:07:12]

When we make these quick judgments, before we get all of the information, there's a good chance that we may misrepresent some people. So now I have the big picture. And it doesn't take long, but sometimes it takes a while. We have to be patient. Sometimes. But you'd think we would learn more quickly not to make these quick judgments. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we don't. [00:08:21]

We have to get the other person's perspective. We have to learn how they see life, how they organize life, what they do and why they do these things and what their motivation is and how it all makes sense for them. [00:08:45]

If I take my glasses off and put them on your face, what's the message? Try to see the world, how I see it. How I see it. And you, when you're doing the same thing, you want me... I see Yes. That is an egocentric, ethnocentric perspective. I want you to see the way I see. And you both... And if both of you are saying that, it's kind of a standoff then. No, that's not going to work. [00:11:35]

If I'm taking your glasses off, I'm saying to you, I would like to see the way you see and you're doing the same thing. And now we're trying to understand each other, trying to see each other's world the way the other person sees it. [00:12:43]

This has to be a mutual exchange. Absolutely. It has to be a cooperative. It's a team effort. It's a team effort. It requires cooperation. Both of us have to be willing to do it. And then if we're willing to do it, at least one of the outcomes would be, I think you said it. We understand each other better because we see things the way the other person sees it. [00:13:52]

My perspective is not the only right perspective or legitimate perspective. [00:14:42]

If you're going to do something like this, there has to be mutual trust. Yeah. Okay. I think that's absolutely correct. Because if you don't trust each other, it's not going to work. You might just as well forget it. [00:15:02]

Even if there's radical difference in status as human beings we're equal, as male and female we're equal, as older and younger we're equal, as Russian and American we're equal, you see. And so Hertzberg is trying to say, when humanity meets humanity, we're the same. [00:16:05]

The ability to relate to people in such a way that their dignity as human beings is affirmed, and they are more empowered to live their lives in God-glorifying ways. I think the bottom line, the purpose for serving, is to be able to elevate people in their quality of life, to affirm their dignity and their value as human beings, and then in so doing, to do what C.S. Lewis suggests, and then in those human relationships, to show people God, to show people God's Son, Jesus, and to nudge them closer to a God-likeness. [00:19:18]

You cannot serve somebody you do not understand, or you'll serve them as the monkey serves the fish. Serving has to be done with understanding that we get through talking and relating to and sharing our lives with other people that we're living with and attempting to serve. And this is true in our home. It's in our families. It's in our churches. It's in our societies. It's in our jobs. It's everywhere. [00:20:43]

But we cannot serve somebody we do not understand. At best, we will only be benevolent, kind oppressors. Not a happy thought. [00:21:22]

But understanding is not going to happen unless we're good learners. Learning about people, learning from them, beyond the language learning, beyond the basic learning. And then ultimately, when the relationship is strong, learning with them, synergistic kinds of learning. [00:21:32]

But that learning isn't going to happen until there's trust. Because we don't share important information unless we trust somebody, and then we are willing to share. But trust doesn't happen until...until we feel as though the other person values us. They honor us as human beings, they affirm our dignity and our worth and value. [00:21:50]

So that the idea of servanthood, which is here at the bottom, the idea of servanthood, when you're accepting someone, you can enter the circle anywhere, you can accept them or you can be learning. And so servanthood is really this dynamic of things happening at different places, different times. [00:23:22]

Jesus called them together and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them and their high officials exercise authority over them. That's the Gentile or the pagan form of leadership of authority. Standing over people, controlling people, being authoritative, being self-serving in their leadership. And Jesus says that's not the kind of leadership that you're to exercise as believers. Verse 26. So if we're going to be like Jesus, we need to be servants. [00:24:54]

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