Seeing Potential: The Power of True Friendship

 

Summary

In today's reflection, we explore the profound question, "What is to become of you?" This question, drawn from the book "A Gentleman in Moscow," is posed in three distinct ways by different characters, each reflecting a unique perspective on the potential and future of the central character, Alexander. The Grand Duke asks it with condemnation, expecting failure. The grandmother asks it with collusion, overlooking faults. Helena, however, asks it with genuine curiosity and hope, pondering the mystery of Alexander's potential.

This narrative invites us to consider how we view others and ourselves. Are we quick to condemn, collude, or do we reflect and imagine the possibilities? The Bible offers insights into these dynamics through the relationships of David with Saul, Joab, and Jonathan. Saul's relationship with David was marked by condemnation, while Joab colluded with David in his sin. In contrast, Jonathan's friendship with David was one of reflection and encouragement, seeing the potential in David and supporting him despite personal risk.

Friendship, as Eugene Peterson notes, is a vital aspect of spirituality, akin to prayer and fasting. It transforms ordinary experiences into something sacred. Jonathan's friendship with David exemplifies this, as it was essential for David's perseverance and growth. True friends, like Jonathan, discern the divine potential in us and encourage us to pursue it.

We are called to be such friends, to see beyond the surface and recognize the God-given potential in others. This involves not condemning or colluding but reflecting, imagining, and encouraging. As Martin Buber suggests, the greatest gift we can offer is to confirm the deepest truth in another person, recognizing and nurturing their unique potential.

Today, consider who the Jonathans in your life are and express gratitude for their friendship. Reflect on how you can be a Jonathan to others, helping them see and reach their God-given potential. Avoid condemnation and collusion, and instead, imagine the possibilities for those around you, discerning and calling out their potential as God sees it.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Power of Perspective: The way we ask "What is to become of you?" reveals our perspective on others' potential. Condemnation expects failure, collusion overlooks faults, but genuine reflection and curiosity open the door to growth and transformation. [04:38]

2. Biblical Examples of Friendship: The relationships of David with Saul, Joab, and Jonathan illustrate different approaches to potential. Saul condemned, Joab colluded, but Jonathan reflected and encouraged, showing the power of true friendship in nurturing potential. [06:14]

3. Friendship as a Spiritual Practice: Eugene Peterson highlights friendship as a significant spiritual practice, transforming ordinary experiences into sacred ones. True friendship involves risk and sacrifice, as seen in Jonathan's relationship with David. [07:47]

4. Recognizing and Encouraging Potential: Martin Buber emphasizes the importance of recognizing and confirming the deepest truth in others. This involves seeing beyond the surface and encouraging the unique potential God has placed within them. [09:02]

5. Becoming a Jonathan: We are called to be Jonathans in the lives of others, avoiding condemnation and collusion. Instead, we should reflect, imagine, and encourage, helping others see and reach their God-given potential. [10:17]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [01:05] - Introduction to "A Gentleman in Moscow"
- [02:07] - The Question of Becoming
- [02:42] - Different Perspectives on Potential
- [03:45] - Helena's Genuine Curiosity
- [04:38] - Condemnation vs. Reflection
- [05:18] - Biblical Examples: David and Saul
- [06:14] - Jonathan's Encouragement
- [07:18] - Friendship as Spiritual Practice
- [08:00] - The Risk and Reward of True Friendship
- [09:02] - Recognizing Deep Potential
- [09:33] - Avoiding Condemnation and Collusion
- [10:04] - Imagining Possibilities
- [10:17] - Becoming a Jonathan
- [10:33] - Conclusion and Call to Action

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:

1. 1 Samuel 18:1-4 - The friendship of David and Jonathan.
2. Romans 15:7 - Accepting one another.
3. 1 John 3:1-2 - The love of God and our identity as His children.

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Observation Questions:

1. How does the relationship between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18:1-4 illustrate the concept of true friendship as discussed in the sermon? [08:14]

2. In Romans 15:7, what does it mean to "accept one another," and how does this relate to avoiding condemnation and collusion? [06:34]

3. According to 1 John 3:1-2, what is the significance of being called "children of God," and how does this identity influence our potential? [07:04]

4. How did the sermon describe the different ways the question "What is to become of you?" was asked by the characters in "A Gentleman in Moscow"? [04:38]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. What can we learn from Jonathan's willingness to risk his own future for the sake of his friendship with David? How does this reflect the spiritual practice of friendship? [08:00]

2. How does the sermon suggest we should respond to others' potential, and what role does genuine curiosity play in this process? [05:18]

3. In what ways does the sermon challenge us to move beyond condemnation and collusion in our relationships? How can we apply this to our daily interactions? [09:33]

4. How does the concept of being "children of God" in 1 John 3:1-2 encourage us to see and nurture the potential in others? [07:04]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a time when you felt condemned or colluded with. How did it affect your growth and potential? How can you avoid these dynamics in your relationships now? [04:49]

2. Identify a "Jonathan" in your life who has encouraged your potential. How can you express gratitude to them this week? [09:21]

3. Consider someone in your life who might need encouragement to see their God-given potential. What specific action can you take to support them this week? [10:04]

4. How can you practice the spiritual discipline of friendship, as described by Eugene Peterson, in your current relationships? What steps can you take to deepen these connections? [07:47]

5. Think about a person you tend to overlook or underestimate. How can you change your perspective to see their potential as God sees it? [09:46]

6. What practical steps can you take to ensure you are not colluding with others in overlooking faults but instead encouraging growth and transformation? [05:02]

7. How can the understanding of being "children of God" influence the way you view your own potential and the potential of those around you? [07:04]

Devotional

Day 1: The Lens of Potential
The way we perceive others' potential can significantly impact their growth and transformation. When we ask, "What is to become of you?" our perspective can either limit or expand the possibilities for those around us. Condemnation often expects failure, while collusion overlooks faults. However, genuine reflection and curiosity open the door to growth and transformation. By choosing to see others through a lens of hope and possibility, we can encourage them to reach their full potential. This approach not only benefits those we support but also enriches our own lives as we witness their journey of growth. [04:38]

"For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b, ESV)

Reflection: Think of someone you often judge harshly. How can you begin to see them through a lens of potential and hope today?


Day 2: Friendship's Transformative Power
The relationships of David with Saul, Joab, and Jonathan illustrate different approaches to potential. Saul's relationship with David was marked by condemnation, expecting David to fail. Joab, on the other hand, colluded with David, overlooking his faults. In contrast, Jonathan's friendship with David was one of reflection and encouragement. Jonathan saw the potential in David and supported him despite personal risk. This narrative highlights the power of true friendship in nurturing potential. True friends, like Jonathan, discern the divine potential in us and encourage us to pursue it, transforming ordinary experiences into something sacred. [06:14]

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life has been a Jonathan to you, encouraging your potential? How can you express gratitude to them today?


Day 3: Friendship as a Sacred Practice
Eugene Peterson highlights friendship as a significant spiritual practice, akin to prayer and fasting. True friendship involves risk and sacrifice, as seen in Jonathan's relationship with David. Jonathan's willingness to support David, even at personal risk, exemplifies the sacred nature of friendship. This kind of friendship transforms ordinary experiences into sacred ones, providing strength and encouragement in times of need. By investing in such friendships, we not only support others but also deepen our own spiritual journey. [07:47]

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17, ESV)

Reflection: Consider a friendship that has been transformative in your life. How can you invest in this relationship to make it even more sacred?


Day 4: Seeing Beyond the Surface
Martin Buber emphasizes the importance of recognizing and confirming the deepest truth in others. This involves seeing beyond the surface and encouraging the unique potential God has placed within them. By acknowledging the divine potential in others, we can help them grow and flourish. This approach requires us to look beyond immediate appearances and behaviors, focusing instead on the deeper truths that God has placed within each person. By doing so, we not only support others but also align ourselves with God's vision for their lives. [09:02]

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life needs encouragement to see their God-given potential? How can you affirm their unique gifts today?


Day 5: Becoming a Jonathan
We are called to be Jonathans in the lives of others, avoiding condemnation and collusion. Instead, we should reflect, imagine, and encourage, helping others see and reach their God-given potential. By choosing to be a Jonathan, we can make a significant impact on the lives of those around us. This involves taking the time to understand their unique gifts and challenges, and offering support and encouragement as they pursue their potential. In doing so, we not only help others grow but also fulfill our own calling to be a source of light and hope in the world. [10:17]

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV)

Reflection: How can you be a Jonathan to someone in your life today, helping them see and reach their potential? What specific action can you take to encourage them?

Quotes

"Now that word become is a real important one Dallas Ward would often say the main thing God gets out of your life the most important part of your story is the person that you were coming not a particular outcome that's U why we call um this podcast uh I still don't know what to call it this show become new because God wants you to become a new creature." [00:02:18]

"For the Grand Duke the question was of course rhetorical confronted with a report of a failed semester on the Count's part when he was a student or an unpaid bill by the count the Grand Duke would summon his godson the Duke to his Library read the letter aloud drop it on his desk and ask the question what is to become of you Alexander without expectation of a response knowing full well that the answer was imprisonment bankruptcy or both." [00:02:50]

"When the grandmother asked it it was uh collusion now in collusion we connive with one another to overlook each other's sins to agree that we will not make ourselves face what we don't want to and we actually help each other we collude in that process and that's what she's doing with Helena uh it's not going to be a c-word we do not do alliteration here but with Helena it's not condemnation and it's not collusion um she reflects she imagines she Ponders she questions." [00:04:49]

"Jonathan discerned God in David comprehended the danger and difficulty of his anointing and made a covenant of Friendship with him Jonathan's friendship entered David's soul in a way that Saul's hatred never could and then this wonderful quote from Martin Boer the greatest thing any person can do for another is to confirm the deepest thing in him or her to take the time and have the discernment to see what is most deeply there most fully that person and then confirm it by recognizing and encouraging it." [00:08:22]

"Friendship Eugene writes is a much underestimated aspect of spirituality it's every bit as significant as prayer and fasting like the sacramental use of water Bread and Wine friendship takes what's common in human experience and turns it into something holy he writes about David and Jonathan friendship with David complicated Jonathan's life for enormously he risked losing his father's favor he willingly sacrificed his own Royal future but neither the risk nor the loss deterred him he became and stay David's friend." [00:07:34]

"Today, consider who the Jonathans in your life are and express gratitude for their friendship. Reflect on how you can be a Jonathan to others, helping them see and reach their God-given potential. Avoid condemnation and collusion, and instead, imagine the possibilities for those around you, discerning and calling out their potential as God sees it." [00:09:33]

"Imagine when you look at people what might become of her what might be has not been uh made known yet but God sees it and what friends do is when they look at somebody they seek to see something of what God sees in that other person to discern it and call it out to imagine what are their possibilities what are their potentials what are their pitfalls I'm alliterating by accident right now so do that with the people in your life today and invite uh a Jonathan in your own life to speak deeply into you." [00:09:49]

"Helena would laugh look back at her brother and ask what is to become of you Alexander they all asked that question of the count Helena the count is that is the grandmother and the Grand Duke what is to become of you Alexander now that word become is a real important one Dallas Ward would often say the main thing God gets out of your life the most important part of your story is the person that you were coming not a particular outcome." [00:02:00]

"Jonathan's friendship was essential to David's life it's highly unlikely that David could have persisted in serving Saul without the Friendship of Jonathan Jonathan discerned God in David comprehended the danger and difficulty of his anointing and made a covenant of Friendship with him Jonathan's friendship entered David's soul in a way that Saul's hatred never could." [00:08:23]

"Be thinking about who that person can be and don't bring condemnation today don't bring condemnation to anybody today and don't collude today don't connive with other people to avoid Overlook some of my deep regrets or relationships where I've done that in the past basically out of fear myself but imagine when you look at people what might become of her what might be has not been uh made known yet but God sees it and what friends do is when they look at somebody they seek to see something of what God sees in that other person to discern it and call it out." [00:09:33]

"Helena asked the question she did so as if the answer were a genuine mystery as if despite her brother's erratic studies and carefree ways the world had yet to catch a glimpse of the man he was bound to become what is to become of you Alexander Helena would ask that is the question the count would agree and then he would lie back in the grass and gaze thoughtfully at the figure8 of the fireflies as if he too were pondering this essential Enigma." [00:04:14]

"Jonathan's friendship was essential to David's life it's highly unlikely that David could have persisted in serving Saul without the Friendship of Jonathan Jonathan discerned God in David comprehended the danger and difficulty of his anointing and made a covenant of Friendship with him Jonathan's friendship entered David's soul in a way that Saul's hatred never could." [00:08:23]

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Transcript
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