Rooted in Love: Nurturing Lasting Marital Commitment

 

Summary

In today's message, we explored the profound and intricate nature of marriage, emphasizing the importance of being "Rooted in Love." We began by acknowledging the beauty and complexity of marriage, recognizing it as both a joyous and challenging journey. The commitment of marriage requires daily affirmation, a continuous choice to say "I choose you," even when circumstances are difficult. This commitment is not just a one-time decision but a daily practice that requires effort and intentionality.

We delved into the alarming statistics surrounding marriage and divorce, noting that even within Christian communities, the rates are concerning. This led us to question whether great marriages are truly possible. The answer lies in aligning our priorities correctly, with God as our first priority and our spouse as the second. By placing God at the center of our lives, we reduce unrealistic expectations on our spouses to fulfill needs that only God can meet. This alignment provides a strong foundation for our marriages to thrive.

We explored Colossians 3:12-14, which offers guidance on how to pursue our spouses with love and grace. The passage encourages us to "put on" qualities such as compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and forgiveness. These virtues are essential in nurturing a loving and harmonious relationship. The text reminds us that love is the glue that binds everything together, enabling us to navigate the ups and downs of marriage.

Furthermore, we reflected on the significance of pursuing our spouse with intentionality and devotion. The Hebrew word "dabak," meaning to cling or pursue hard, encapsulates the essence of this pursuit. It is about cherishing our spouse as the greatest gift from God, second only to salvation. This perspective shifts our focus to gratitude and appreciation, fostering a deeper connection and commitment.

In conclusion, we are called to start small, with daily acts of love and kindness, to build a strong and enduring marriage. By seeking God first and pursuing our spouse with intentionality, we can cultivate a marriage that reflects God's love and grace.

Key Takeaways:

1. Daily Commitment in Marriage: Marriage is a daily commitment that requires us to continually choose our spouse, even in challenging times. This ongoing affirmation strengthens the bond and helps navigate the complexities of married life. [28:42]

2. Prioritizing God in Marriage: Placing God as the first priority in our lives reduces unrealistic expectations on our spouses and provides a strong foundation for a thriving marriage. This alignment allows us to love our spouse well and fulfill our roles as partners. [35:26]

3. Pursuing with Love and Grace: Colossians 3:12-14 encourages us to "put on" virtues like compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, which are essential in nurturing a loving relationship. Love is the glue that binds everything together, enabling us to navigate the ups and downs of marriage. [33:44]

4. Cherishing the Gift of Marriage: Our spouse is a precious gift from God, second only to salvation. Recognizing this helps us appreciate and cherish our partner, fostering a deeper connection and commitment. [46:31]

5. Starting Small for Big Impact: Building a strong marriage begins with small, daily acts of love and kindness. These actions accumulate over time, creating a lasting and meaningful relationship. By focusing on the small things, we can achieve the big things we desire in our marriage. [55:53]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:45] - Introduction to Series: Rooted in Love
- [02:30] - Church Announcements
- [05:15] - Personal Story: Meeting My Wife
- [10:00] - The Beauty and Complexity of Marriage
- [15:30] - Alarming Marriage Statistics
- [20:00] - Aligning Priorities: God First, Spouse Second
- [25:00] - Exploring Colossians 3:12-14
- [30:00] - The Importance of Pursuing Your Spouse
- [35:00] - Cherishing Your Spouse as a Gift
- [40:00] - Starting Small for Big Impact
- [45:00] - Practical Tips for Pursuing Your Spouse
- [50:00] - Closing Prayer and Invitation for Response

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Rooted in Love

Bible Reading:
- Colossians 3:12-14

Observation Questions:
1. What are the specific virtues mentioned in Colossians 3:12-14 that we are encouraged to "put on"? How do these virtues contribute to a harmonious relationship? [33:44]
2. According to the sermon, what is the significance of the Hebrew word "dabak" in the context of marriage? How does it relate to the idea of pursuing one's spouse? [47:35]
3. What alarming statistics about marriage and divorce were discussed in the sermon, and how do they highlight the challenges faced by marriages today? [31:40]
4. How does the sermon describe the role of God in a marriage, and why is it important to prioritize God above all else? [35:26]

Interpretation Questions:
1. How might the virtues listed in Colossians 3:12-14 transform a marriage if both partners actively practice them? What challenges might arise in trying to embody these virtues consistently? [33:44]
2. In what ways does the concept of "dabak" challenge or affirm your current understanding of pursuing a spouse? How can this pursuit be practically implemented in daily life? [47:35]
3. The sermon suggests that placing God first reduces unrealistic expectations on a spouse. How might this shift in priorities impact the dynamics of a marriage? [35:26]
4. Reflecting on the statistics shared in the sermon, what societal or personal factors might contribute to the high rates of divorce, even among Christians? [31:40]

Application Questions:
1. Think about your daily interactions with your spouse. How can you incorporate the virtues from Colossians 3:12-14 into these interactions to strengthen your relationship? [33:44]
2. Identify one small, intentional act of love or kindness you can do for your spouse this week. How might this act contribute to a deeper connection? [55:53]
3. Consider the role of God in your marriage. What steps can you take to ensure that God remains the central priority in your relationship? [35:26]
4. Reflect on the concept of "dabak" and pursuing your spouse with devotion. What practical changes can you make to pursue your spouse more intentionally? [47:35]
5. How can you express gratitude for your spouse as a gift from God? What specific words or actions can you use to convey this appreciation? [46:31]
6. The sermon emphasizes starting small for a big impact. What small habits can you develop to consistently choose your spouse, even on challenging days? [55:53]
7. How can you create a supportive environment in your marriage that allows both you and your spouse to grow spiritually and emotionally? [39:20]

Devotional

Day 1: Daily Renewal of Commitment
Marriage is a journey that requires a daily choice to affirm and commit to your spouse, even in challenging times. This ongoing affirmation strengthens the bond and helps navigate the complexities of married life. It is not a one-time decision but a continuous practice that demands effort and intentionality. By choosing your spouse every day, you build a resilient relationship that can withstand the trials and tribulations of life. This daily commitment is a testament to the love and dedication you have for each other, fostering a deeper connection and understanding. [28:42]

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." (Hebrews 10:23 ESV)

Reflection: What is one specific way you can affirm your commitment to your spouse today, even if circumstances are difficult?


Day 2: Aligning Priorities with God
Placing God as the first priority in your life reduces unrealistic expectations on your spouse and provides a strong foundation for a thriving marriage. This alignment allows you to love your spouse well and fulfill your roles as partners. By centering your life around God, you create a space where both partners can grow spiritually and emotionally. This spiritual foundation helps in managing expectations and understanding that only God can fulfill certain needs, freeing your spouse from the burden of trying to meet them. [35:26]

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33 ESV)

Reflection: How can you prioritize your relationship with God today to better support and love your spouse?


Day 3: Cultivating Love and Grace
Colossians 3:12-14 encourages you to "put on" virtues like compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, which are essential in nurturing a loving relationship. Love is the glue that binds everything together, enabling you to navigate the ups and downs of marriage. By embodying these virtues, you create an environment of grace and understanding, where both partners feel valued and respected. This approach not only strengthens your bond but also reflects God's love and grace in your marriage. [33:44]

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." (Colossians 3:12-13 ESV)

Reflection: Which virtue from Colossians 3:12-14 do you find most challenging to embody in your marriage, and how can you work on it today?


Day 4: Cherishing Your Spouse as a Gift
Recognizing your spouse as a precious gift from God, second only to salvation, helps you appreciate and cherish your partner, fostering a deeper connection and commitment. This perspective shifts your focus to gratitude and appreciation, allowing you to see your spouse as a blessing rather than a burden. By valuing your partner in this way, you cultivate a relationship that is rich in love and mutual respect, reflecting the divine nature of marriage. [46:31]

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." (James 1:17 ESV)

Reflection: What is one specific quality or action of your spouse that you can express gratitude for today?


Day 5: Small Acts for Big Impact
Building a strong marriage begins with small, daily acts of love and kindness. These actions accumulate over time, creating a lasting and meaningful relationship. By focusing on the small things, you can achieve the big things you desire in your marriage. These small gestures of love and care demonstrate your commitment and dedication, reinforcing the bond you share with your spouse. Over time, these acts contribute to a resilient and enduring marriage that reflects God's love and grace. [55:53]

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9 ESV)

Reflection: What is one small act of love or kindness you can do for your spouse today that could have a lasting impact on your relationship?

Quotes



And we are coming together as husband and wife. And when we think about that time, for me, August 22, 2004, I said yes before God and my family and friends. Yes. Yes. Yes. And what I don't quite tell you is when you say yes in that moment, you have to say yes every single day. Like every single day, you are saying yes. [00:29:23] (27 seconds)


And then we find that people who keep God at the center of their home and family stay married at far greater rates and even thrive within those marriages. One of the reasons for this is that those who first commit to the lordship of Jesus put fewer expectations. Did you hear this? They put fewer expectations upon their spouses to meet emotional needs that only God can meet. [00:37:02] (29 seconds)


When we start with him, it sets us up for success. It sets us up for success with our relationship, with our spouse, with our kids, with our family members, with people in the church, outside the church. When we start with him as God's chosen ones, it's amazing when we get this priority straight. Because priorities matter. God is one, spouse is two. [00:37:55] (29 seconds)


And above all these things, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Let's pray. Father God, we thank you for your word. We thank you for just how you work in our lives, how you challenge and push us and guide us and encourage us. [00:34:25] (18 seconds)


But it begs this question. Why, though? Why do we have this, this energy and this effort to pursue, right? And I know some of you, because I love her, right? I love him. That's why I'm going to do this. But when we really look of who that person is, right, who God placed in your life, I think there's this amazing reason of why we pursue outside of just what we see. [00:44:26] (26 seconds)


And when you say, I do, when you say yes, you are saying yes to the greatest gift God is giving to you, this side of heaven, outside of salvation. But that's the greatest gift God is giving to you, this side of heaven, outside of salvation. Someone to do life with, to walk alongside, to be able to, you know, as the text says, iron sharpens iron, somebody who's going to sharpen you, to help you, to guide you, to make you better, to make you a better man, to make you a better woman, right? [00:46:51] (34 seconds)


When we say, I love you, this is what we're talking about, right? This love doesn't mean just some, like, ambiguous thing. No, it means something. When we say, I love you, we mean that we're being humble. We're putting on humility. We're putting on meekness. We're putting on patience. We're putting on bearing with one another. We're putting on that forgiveness because, let's be honest, the reason they say, the reason God is saying put on, because we don't actually have it. [00:49:47] (28 seconds)


We pursue our two through putting these things on. And here's the thing. When we look at that list, it's a big list. It's a hard list, right? To put that on every single day, to nail it every single day. The thing is, we won't. We're humans. We're on our walk. When we say yes to Jesus, it doesn't mean we're all suddenly just like him and we're holy and we're perfect. It doesn't work like this. There's only been one person to do this perfectly. Only one. [00:52:37] (28 seconds)


But friends, as we think through this, we can get so trapped on thinking through these ideas, we can get trapped with the big ideas, right? The big gestures, the big leaps in life of thinking this is what I have to do to woo my wife, to woo my husband. I have to do these big, grand gestures to show them I love them each and every day. And that's the trap, friends. That is the trap that we can so easily fall into. [00:54:04] (28 seconds)


And so let us start small so we can get the big things that we want, so we can pursue well. So two things here I just want to leave you all with. To pursue well, to pursue your two. First is don't just think good thoughts, say it, right? Don't just think good thoughts, say it. Pursue with words of affection and affirmation. Right? If you think it, think good stuff. Come on, guys. Think good stuff, say it, right? I love you. How many times do you say that in a day? [00:55:29] (33 seconds)


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Transcript
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