Restoring Marital Foundations: God’s Design for Love

Our marriage is very sick the cause would be neglect and inviting toxic things into the marriage look at that word inviting toxic things into the marriage such as anger abuse pornography selfishness pride and arrogance it's been a very slow and sad death we've been on life support for many years this illness affects so many others than just the two of us yet we both know the cure remember this from a Christian Christian family if we would allow God to breathe his word his plan and his way back into the marriage we could avoid the tragic death of it. [00:24:57]

We have to remember this about sex sexuality sex and marriage it's a good thing sometimes we its turn what it's turned to what Hollywood but God created it after all nobody would be here without it have you thought about that you know it's it's a it's a good thing God created it in creation he designed that's what the male and female to be joined together and let not man separate so it's God's wonderful design so when you take that design and you begin to twist it and turn it contort it into directions it's not supposed to go do you know what word comes from that perversion you're perverting the truth. [00:46:18]

The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband might say oh well I keep reading keep reading here comes a Touche Touche right right back at you the husband in the same way the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife so see that just ruins the whole world's definition of sex it's selfishness it's it's it's what can I get rather rather what can I Giff so God designed it it's good within the context of marriage and then it's this this the idea of yielding of giving ourselves over for the other person not selfishness where it's all about me and my ways my two thoughts my desires. [00:52:22]

Pornography is adultery did you know that pornography is adultery Matthew 5:28 in the NIV but I tell you that anyone anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed Daltry with her in his heart here's where a lot of Christians make a mistake too we think of the action right the action of doing something wrong forgetting that the action starts in the mind so if a person is is lusting and lusting it's a continual battle and they're just keep giving into it they're committing adultery in their mind this is why marriages can fall apart without the actual physical act because if the mental mental mental act is happening then they won't want to be around their spouse they won't love their spouse. [00:53:33]

Temptation is also an opportunity to do what is right see so you don't have to view the temptation as oh here comes a temptation again here comes a temptation yet what's wrong with me have you ever said that what's wrong with me what's going on here Lord what's wrong with me nothing's wrong with you you're human Jesus was tempted the Bible says Jesus was tempted was tested in all points yet he was without sin so the temptation when you have a temptation and I said well he wasn't tempted with pornography well not to the degree we are now but the Bible says the lusts of the flesh the lust of the eye and the pride of life he was tempted all three of those areas. [00:59:59]

The flesh is never satisfied the flesh is never satisfied those who have a problem in this area also have problems in other areas the problem with the flesh is the more you feed it the more you have to fight it you can stop and tweet that one the more you feed this and healthy desire the more you will have to fight it you are giving fuel to the enemy. [01:01:27]

When desire has conceived James talks about when desire is conceived sin is born here's what happens with us with sin in this area you have a temptation okay if that temptation is acted upon that it's conceived and that conception when that baby begins to grow when it's fully grown it brings forth death that's why you have to starve sin to death you have to bring it to the light and that's what we had a good prayer time at the first service I want to encourage you now if there's something in your life that you need to bring to the light bring it to prayer expose it because sim can't grow sin cannot grow when it is exposed and it's brought to the light. [01:23:30]

Expose it and repent expose it and repent see repentance by itself repentance at its core in the Greek language or the Hebrew language no matter if it's a think it's mutton a oh and one of them and then it's something else in the other both of them have to do with turning the mind right I'm rethinking and then because I'm rethinking I'm not going to live that way so when a person says I'm repenting this is not right but if they continue in it did they really repent that's just that's just deciding to do something different so repenting is changing course and then how we how we get help is to expose it. [01:27:43]

Prayer needs to become a lifestyle see men I think was EBM balance said this men would live better if they prayed better men would live better women would live better if they prayed better now here's what's happening in one ear and out the next what's for lunch is what you're thinking here go Shane again I'm prayer but let me tell you that this actually changes your thinking you changes your mindset before you click on that site why don't you imagine that they're little girls many years ago who were probably abused by a father raised by a single mother and you begin praying and you begin changing your whole concept of and your outlook on life and then your prayer becomes a part of who you are that prayer changes your mind you start to get the heart of Christ the heart of God and those lustful desires are crushed under the weight of God's love and mercy. [01:43:26]

Boundaries are safeguards here's the thing about accountability I've said this before accountability will not help you in and of itself in other words you can't have somebody else hold you accountable right God needs a holds you accountable the Holy Spirit needs a hold you accountable but what accountability does is it adds an extra layer of protection onto a very challenging battle a very difficult struggle now when you set up boundaries you will look different you know that right you might get a little mocking you know your friends might not agree with you for example I've talked about software out there before covenant eyes that will block websites it will actually send every single search and every single website you visit to your spouse every week Morgan gets a report every week of what where I search what I look like it's on my phones on my computers everything I want safeguards in place is it bulletproof is that going to change everything no the heart has to change right but it's how bad do you want it how bad do you want it you've got you look a little bit different. [01:49:42]

This is something this is interesting I've noticed this myself I've read it in surveys most who are having marriage troubles right now separated divorced not all of course but most having marriage troubles don't give don't give to church or the charities are different things they don't have a giving heart it's a selfish heart and that selfishness affects other areas think about you know people who are divorced or separated do they give are they a giving couple so this area finance is is pretty huge it is number I think on the list around number three or four in regard to married married problem or marriage problems number it's high up on the list because why spending shows where your heart is right where I spend where my money goes shows me where my heart is. [01:57:50]

If we would allow God to breathe his word his plan and his way back into our marriage we could avoid the tragic death of our marriage that's the key folks if I could get you back to that that is the answer no matter what you're going through I'm talking to the person whose spouse is gone there's no hope in their mind go back to God wilt thou not revive us again so we can rejoice in you go back to that relationship with God I know I went through the hell in my life but when I went back to God he began to rebuild and rebuild and rebuild and rebuild and then you look back and you say thank God that he brought me through that so look to him that's what the bite where does my help come from Oprah dr. Phil are they still around okay might where does my help come from my help comes from the hills from the Lord maker of heaven and earth so if marriages would just get back to him if they would repent and open their hearts and say Lord created me a clean heart renew a right spirit within me God I'm all yours I'm gonna seek you with all of my heart he would begin to rebuild and restore. [01:59:57]