Restoring Attachment: Freedom Through God's Compassion

Sep 28, 2025

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“But what if we really believed that there was mercy just as the verses Dan was reading this morning, Lamentations 3, his mercies are new every morning, and if we really believe that there was grace, that there was forgiveness, that there was freedom, that there was healing, that there was wholeness available, that I think that our internal self-talk would really change. I think that our judgment of others would really change. I think if we really believed the gospel, our compassion would increase. Because the gospel, if we really believe it, it empowers us to be honest. It empowers us to be vulnerable about our sin because we know that we can find comfort. We know that we'll find compassion when we meet Jesus.”
“But I think how many times we talk about this, we run and hide. And this is the story from the beginning in the garden, is that they ran and they hid. And I think that Jesus would call to us this morning, where are you? Where are you? I think that when we hide, we begin to deceive ourselves. Because compassion isn't in the equation. Because of our own self-judgment, because of condemnation, because of the accuser, he does this really well. And he makes us play this game with ourselves. And so I think that toleration of our sin, toleration of whatever we do to cope, let's call it that. It leads to our hiding. It leads to our shame. But I think that compassion is what leads us to vulnerability and therefore leads us to freedom.”
“I think that if we would begin to have compassion and begin to maybe be curious about why, why, what am I running, why, why am I doing this? And, and because Jesus knows, he gets it. He knows, he knows our why. And I think that when, and he is the one, he is the compassionate one. And when we begin to understand, okay, you have, your mercy is new for me today, I can have compassion. Even when I'm in my stupid sin, my deep, dark sin, whatever it is, I think that compassion doesn't lead us to toleration. I think compassion leads to freedom.”
“I think, I think sin is whatever thing we go to because we don't feel seen, because we don't feel soothed, because we don't feel secure, and because we don't feel safe. And so if you want to know, like, okay, when we don't feel those things, and we aren't running to the Lord to get those things, I think sin is the opposite of that. Sin is our compensation for that. And so sin is just, it's our attempt to meet those unmet needs, and to fill that void, sadly, with fantasy versus reality.”
“So when I begin to see my struggle is my misplaced comfort, now I go, oh, my heart starts to feel compassion. My heart towards even myself, my, that, that self-hatred that is so prevalent in many of us, because we hate the sin, but what begins to happen is we begin to hate ourselves. But I think when we ask, okay, my sin is my misplaced comfort. Now I have the compassion of my, my compassion for myself, because the compassion of Jesus starts to grow.”
“So the truth that I want to lead us to discover is that we would know the Father of compassion, and we would know that those times that we don't feel safe, seen, secure, comforted, loved, that we would begin to discover in our story where Jesus has always seen. Jesus is the one who ultimately sees it all, and I know that feels scary, but it's also like, oh you, someone does see me, and it's not just he sees you to leave you, but he sees you to comfort you. He sees, and he wants to be that person that gives us security.”
“I think sometimes in our effort to follow Jesus, it feels like this. It feels like we're just, we're just kind of circling, like we've, we've entered this like holding pattern, and it's like, we can't, we can't seem to get out, or you feel like, you know, you're running a race, and it's like, man, I'm like fighting, I'm, I'm, I'm wanting victory in this area of my life, and, okay, I'm feeling a little bit of victory, and it's almost over, and then it's like, oh, nope, let's just take another lap, and the following Jesus feels like this sometimes, and like, we're spinning in circles, we're struggling just with the same thing.”
“You're here because you, you're longing for deeper, deeper attachment to the Lord. You're longing for greater connection with Him, and you aren't, maybe sometimes you aren't quite sure how you're going to get there, or you just feel alone, and so we pray, we read our Bible, but we just can't, we don't feel like we're getting anywhere. We just feel like we're going through the motions, and we know that freedom's available. We're talking about it. You're like, okay, great. Yes, I believe in the power of the gospel. I believe in the power of the blood, but why am I still here? I think of the U2 song. I still haven't found what I'm looking for, but the good news is that I believe that you don't have to stay here.”
“We have to continue to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, we have to continue to look to Jesus as our Savior, that salvation moment, yes, happened in a moment, when you said yes to following Jesus, and you became the righteousness of God, you became alive, but we have to continue to work it out, and I think that the enemy, where he gets us, is where we stop working it out, but we need him to reveal himself as my Savior today, like, I need him to deliver me today, because the enemy, he, he hasn't stopped, I'm sorry, that sucks, like, I wish he would, I wish it would just, oh, what I would give for, like, a reprieve, you know, from, from the internal chaos, from the external chaos.”
“So here's why this matters, I'm not mostly going to talk today about your relationships, um, with, with people, but I want to talk about how your attachment style affects how you experience being seen, soothed, safe, and secure with God, and that this is how you relate to Him as well, and that the pain of your story and your inability to find those things in God, it's caused you, it's caused all of us to grasp at something or grasp at someone to provide that, to provide that comfort, to provide, uh, distraction, to provide pleasure, or to provide relief, and so that's what sin is, sin is because we're trying to cope with all this stuff going on, because we're not finding that attachment, there's, there's, there's brokenness in our attachment with the Lord.”
“So our, our sin of choice, and here's the thing, is our sin of choice isn't necessarily, um, what you could like consider, like, isn't always something that you would naturally say is sin, yes, there's some big buckets that we would all say, that's obvious, but there are some things that on one day isn't a sin, and on the next day it is, because on one day you're going, it's, it's Sabbath, and you're enjoying your family, and you're having a meal together, and it's beautiful, and the next day you're burying your head in the refrigerator at midnight, so you're both eating, but it is different context, and so one day it's worship, and one day it's sin.”
“Worship is what we give ourselves to in exchange for life, worship is whatever we give ourselves to in exchange for life, and so then idolatry is just our attempt to meet those needs by seeking that in what we do, how much we earn, acquire, or who we know, all right, so that's the problem, but Jesus, but our healer, but we have a father of compassion, and he wants to enter in to that mess, to that place that you want to, that we're trying to escape from all the time, and he wants to be our healer, he wants to be our savior, and he wants with us to learn how to be present with him in order that we can face the loss, that we can face the disappointment, that we can face the grief.”
“See, God's superpower is his loving kindness, his superpower is that he is kind, and he is loving, and he is good, and he invites us to also, I think that if we had more of his loving kindness and compassion towards ourselves, what would our lives look like, rather than self-hatred, self-rejection, self-contempt, what would it look like if we had the same compassion that he has up for just other people before ourselves, in our spiraling, in our vacating?”
“I think that compassion is this crucial ingredient to our freedom and to our healing, and I think that the Lord is actually exposing the elite spirit that the church has had, and I think that it's a part of that elitism that have caused people to go, I'm either in or I'm out, or like, if I'm in, that means I don't struggle, if I'm in, that means I don't sin, but actually, no, it means that if you're in, that means you recognize your sin and you call it like it is.”
“So what would happen if we began to live, oh, God, would you be moved with compassion, and start by healing me, would you be moved with compassion, and heal others, God, we want to, we want to be familiar with the, the compassionate Jesus, I don't know how familiar you are with him, I know I need to grow in familiarity with him.”
“So our pain, it's led us to believe, one, you can't trust God to meet your needs, can't trust God to meet your needs, and two, it's up to you to meet your own needs, so you must figure it out, so you must find a way, and so every sin that we've ever committed, every sin that's been sinned against us, has been fueled by one of these two lies, every problem in the world, since the beginning of time, has been fueled by these two lies, and so evil wants us to believe the lie that love does not have you, and so sin is our result of turning from that divine love, but the truth is that love will always have you, love will always have you, and so our repentance is turning back towards that love, and realizing that love has been holding us all along, he has had us, and that the truth, that love has always had you, is what unlocks that power, to set you free from lies and deception of the enemy.”
“Because the goal is not, we're not looking, and this is where the enemy, and the church, and all the wrong things we've done, like, has, has, has made us believe that perfectionism is our goal, and yes, I know the word, Jesus said, be perfect as I am perfect, but I think what he's, he, he, I think when you look in the, in the Greek, that word is wholeness, wholeness, he's, he's looking for our wholeness, not our perfectionism, and so you could be doing all the right things on the outside, and you can be so not whole on the inside, and so I think, can we begin to have compassion on, okay, where are the places in me that aren't whole, and can we talk about those places, and you might be able to see it out here, or you might not, and I think as good little, little Christians, I am so guilty of this, of being a good little Christian, and it looks like I'm great, and it looks like I'm whole, but if we just like, go in here a little bit, it's like, oh, there's some places in me that are not whole, so that's our goal, it's not behavior modification, it is transformation.”
“Would we use our holy imagination and practice the presence of God? So using our holy imagination and practicing the presence of God. He wants to meet us. And I believe that he meets us in corporate gatherings. But he wants to meet you in your home in the morning. He wants to meet you in your car. And I want the Lord to deliver us from whatever road map we've created of check boxes, of disciplines that we have to do in order to get his presence.”
“Learning to practice the presence of God in wherever we are and learning to, how do I connect with you in this non-spirit, seemingly spiritual moment? But any moment can be spiritual, any moment can be sacred, because we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And he dwells on the inside of us. And he longs to talk with you and connect with you. But it is a practice that we have to practice.”
“So, what is right here? It's like a sense of kind of grounding. Helping me to be present right here. Not like, you know, in my la-la land, but present right here. Okay, then the next question is, oh, center. Be right here. Be right here. Then, accept, welcome what is here without judgment. Hoo, hoo, hoo. This is the compassion piece. How can I accept what's going on on the inside and all the voices and all the chatter and all the chaos and whatever feeling? Can I accept what's here? Can I accept the pain? Can I accept the grief? Can I accept the brokenness? What is going on? Can I accept it? And can I stay right here?”
“And as we begin to forgive, then we're able to get to the root of what was the lie. So, remember the two lies. What were the two main lies? I have to do it. Let's see. I can't, you can't trust God to meet your needs, so that's a lie. Or it's up to you. So, when we believe that it's up to me to meet my needs, those are called inner vows. And we make vows all the time, like, okay, then fine, I'm just going to do it. And we make this vow, and what happens is it gives, it gives access to the enemy to now he's running that play. You're on that conveyor belt, friends. Like, when you're doing it on your own because you've, you've made a vow that it's up to me to meet my needs.”
“And so I think that at Boulder Street in this, this morning, I would hope that when we talk about our, our sin and our brokenness, that it would, that we would just be curious about it. Curious about why. And I don't, I don't know why, but Jesus does. And in your not knowing why, he's, he knows, and he's got compassion for you. Isn't that good news? Just, like, it's, he, he knows the why, and it's probably pretty yucky, but he's got compassion, and he's got healing, and he, his saving power wants to come and, and meet you when we begin to do the work of forgiveness, and repenting of lies, and repenting of vows.”
“So maybe my first, just, just question for you this morning would be just, what are you needing? What do you need? Where do you need to be seen? Where do you need comfort? Where do you need to be soothed? Um, and maybe let's just pick one of those kind of the four S's, seen, soothed, safe, and secure. Where do you need Jesus in one of those four needs? And maybe, what's your coping mechanism? What's been the sin? What's the, what's the thing that you kind of run to to escape, because you don't want to deal with the pain on the inside? And can you show yourself some compassion? If you had compassion for yourself, what would that look like?”
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