Pursuing the One: Restoring Church Through Reconciliation

Devotional

Day 1: When Hurt Calls You to Move Toward

When wounds fracture relationships, Jesus invites the wounded to take the first step – not with accusations, but with courage to seek restoration. This countercultural approach rejects gossip, avoidance, or resentment. It requires trusting that reconciliation matters more than being right. The path begins by seeing the offender not as an enemy, but as a fellow child God longs to reclaim. [17:21]

“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when you are alone together. If they listen to you, you have regained that one.” (Matthew 18:15, ESV)

Reflection: When has avoiding conflict cost you a relationship? What practical step could help you approach difficult conversations with courage rather than fear?

Day 2: The Table Where Outcasts Become Family

Jesus redefines exclusion by commanding us to treat unrepentant ones as “Gentiles and tax collectors” – the very people he dined with and redeemed. Closing doors contradicts Christ’s pattern of keeping them open. Restoration requires remembering our own need for grace. Every person remains within reach of Christ’s welcome, even when reconciliation takes time. [26:49]

“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ On hearing this, Jesus said, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.’” (Matthew 9:10-12, ESV)

Reflection: Who have you mentally labeled as “beyond reach”? How might praying for them shift your heart’s posture?

Day 3: Two or Three Agreeing on Earth’s Healing

Christ’s promise to answer unified prayers isn’t a blank check for personal desires, but a guarantee for those seeking relational repair. When wounds require mediators, the goal remains restoration – not punishment. Gathering in Jesus’ name means centering his reconciliation over our grievances. His presence manifests most powerfully where broken bonds are being mended. [28:46]

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:19-20, ESV)

Reflection: What fractured relationship might God be inviting you to pray about with others? How does Christ’s presence change difficult conversations?

Day 4: Becoming Approachable Through Childlike Posture

Vulnerability disarms defenses. Jesus calls us to childlike openness – not childish stubbornness – when others confront us about our faults. Approachability grows when we stop justifying our wounds and start listening to theirs. True humility lets others’ perspectives reshape us, trusting that growth matters more than saving face. [31:05]

“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: When confronted recently, did you listen or defend? What makes receiving criticism feel unsafe for you?

Day 5: Chasing the One Behind the Ninety-Nine

Christ’s parable of leaving the flock frames today’s text: reconciliation is shepherding work. Going after the “one” requires following Jesus’ model – pursuing from behind, not herding from ahead. Restoration happens when we value people over processes, embracing the slow work of walking together rather than demanding immediate resolution. [23:16]

“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.” (Luke 15:4-5, ESV)

Reflection: Who needs you to “leave the ninety-nine” this week? What practical sacrifice could express Christ’s pursuit of them?

Sermon Summary

Matthew 18:15 through 20 calls Christ’s people to become a new kind of community, shaped by the love of Christ when relationships are broken or strained. Jesus uses the word church before the church as it is known today existed, pointing to the gathering, the assembly of people learning to follow him together. This community is not built on everybody thinking alike or getting another person to conform. Jesus names restoration as the goal.

Matthew 18 sits among Jesus’ words about becoming childlike, about the one who has been wounded or caused to stumble, and about the shepherd who goes after the one. Jesus gives great value to the one who withdraws, the one who is hurt, and the one who has become separated from fellowship. The image of going after the one also gives a posture for pursuing reconciliation: coming behind, putting the other ahead, and refusing to make personal vindication the goal.

Jesus places a hard responsibility on the person who has been hurt: “Go and correct them when you are alone together.” This first step requires courage, honesty, humility, and grace. Resentment, avoidance, and talking to everyone except the person involved may feel easier, but they build walls and leave wounds to fester. Jesus calls the wounded person to seek reconciliation, not to win an argument.

Childlikeness also becomes necessary for the person being confronted. Humility, vulnerability, welcome, and a willingness to listen make it safe for someone to say, “You hurt me.” A person may not agree with every detail of another person’s perspective, but love can still hear the hurt and seek to understand why it is there. Many conflicts in the body of Christ are simple misunderstandings, two people seeing the same matter from different perspectives.

Jesus’ instruction to involve others and eventually the gathered community is not permission to cast people away. Jesus treated Gentiles and tax collectors by welcoming them and eating with them. Christ keeps calling his people toward restoration. His promise to be present where two or three gather in his name belongs right in this work of seeking healing, asking God to show the way to love one another, and finding fellowship renewed. Reconciliation begins when courage goes to the person from whom the heart has distanced itself, and when humility welcomes anyone who comes.

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Key Takeaways

1. Restoration is the goal Jesus does not make confrontation an avenue for proving who is right. Christ directs wounded relationships toward restored fellowship, even when the relationship cannot return to exactly what it was before. Grace asks what God may be making of the relationship now. [25:18]
2. The wounded person goes first Matthew 18 gives the hurt person the difficult work of going directly to the one who caused harm. Courage does not mean attacking or demanding agreement. Courage seeks an honest conversation because resentment and distance cannot heal what love refuses to name. [29:23]
3. Listening makes reconciliation possible Childlike humility makes room for another person to say, “You hurt me,” without being met by defensiveness. Listening does not require agreeing with every perception. Love can acknowledge real hurt, seek understanding, and let grace dismantle the walls that pride builds. [31:19]
4. Jesus goes after the one The one who has withdrawn remains precious to God and to the community of faith. Pursuit requires a posture of coming behind rather than standing over another person. Christlike community puts restoration ahead of personal control. [23:16]
5. Christ is present in healing Jesus’ promise concerning two or three gathered in his name belongs to the work of reconciliation. God receives prayers for wounded relationships, for wisdom, and for the grace to love faithfully. Reconciled fellowship becomes a place where Christ’s glory is truly seen in the midst of his people.

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Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[16:48] - When Someone in Faith Hurts
[19:31] - Becoming Church in Christlike Community
[21:51] - The Context of Childlike Community
[23:16] - Going After the One
[26:01] - Matthew 18:15 Through 20
[26:49] - How Jesus Treated Outsiders
[28:31] - Christ Present in Reconciliation
[29:23] - The Wounded Person Goes First
[31:05] - Creating Safety to Speak Honestly
[33:28] - Listening Beyond Misunderstanding
[35:28] - A Different Way for the Church
[37:40] - Reconciliation Begins with Courage

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Matthew 18:15–20

Verse 15: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” [26:05]

Verse 16: “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” [26:19]

Verse 17: “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” [26:28]

Verse 18: “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” [27:24]

Verse 19: “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” [27:37]

Verse 20: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” [27:48]

Observation questions

What is the first action Jesus gives to a person who has been hurt, and what does he say should happen if that person listens?
What steps does Jesus describe when a private conversation does not lead to listening or restoration?
What surrounding themes in Matthew 18 help shape this passage, especially the call to childlikeness and the shepherd going after the one? [22:17]
How does Jesus’ own treatment of Gentiles and tax collectors affect the way verse 17 should be understood? [26:49]

Interpretation questions

Why might Jesus place the first step of going directly to the other person on the one who has been hurt? What does this reveal about courage and reconciliation? [29:23]
The goal of confronting another believer is restored fellowship, not making the other person think or act exactly the same way. How does that goal change the tone and purpose of a difficult conversation? [25:18]
What does childlike humility look like for the person being confronted? How can a believer listen honestly even when he or she does not fully agree with the other person’s understanding of events? [31:05]
Verses 19–20 are often read as broad promises about prayer. How does their place in a passage about wounded relationships help explain what believers might pray for together? [28:01]

Application questions

Is there a person from whom you have begun to distance your heart—through avoidance, resentment, or talking about the situation with others rather than with that person? What might a gracious first conversation look like? [37:40]
When someone hurts you, which response comes most naturally: avoidance, venting to someone else, holding resentment, or going directly to the person? What makes direct and honest conversation difficult for you? [17:33]
Think about a time someone tried to tell you that you had hurt them. Did you make room for them to speak, or did you become defensive? What would help you become safer and more welcoming in such a moment? [18:48]
What words could you use to tell someone, “You hurt me,” in a way that is honest but does not attack? How can you keep restoration, rather than winning, as the goal?
Where might a misunderstanding be creating distance in one of your relationships? What could change if you chose to listen for the other person’s perspective before assuming their motives? [33:43]
Jesus values the one who has withdrawn from fellowship. Is there someone in your church, family, or circle of friends who may feel forgotten, wounded, or distant? What is one humble way you could show that person they matter? [23:16]
What relationship needs prayer for healing or wisdom right now? How might you invite one or two trusted believers to pray with you for Christ to show the way toward love and reconciliation? [28:45]

Sermon Clips

50s

“The work of reconciliation begins with you, with me, with us, being courageous enough to go to anyone that we have begun to distance ourselves from, even if not physically. We know in our hearts and minds when we begin to put up walls, don't we? Go to each other. It begins when we begin to become humble and vulnerable enough to welcome and to receive and to listen to any who come to us.”

75s

“I think it's because we don't feel safe. We're afraid that if we go and tell someone that we've been hurt, that it's gonna escalate. And it might if we don't have the childlike faith, the childlike humility, the childlike welcome. And that's why that's where it becomes a two way street for all of us. Reconciliation goes both ways on that road. And this is why Jesus is calling us all to this childlikeness and all to recognize the importance of the one. If we're going to go after, we gotta put ourselves behind. Put their interests ahead of our own, Paul would say. Listen, hear. I didn't say agree. Maybe you will.”

64s

“Because in our world, those who have been caused to stumble, if you will, in the previous verses, the one who's been mistreated bears the burden to go and confront the person who hurt them. Do we have that kind of vulnerability to do that? Do we have that kind of humility so that if we go and confront someone, we're not going with attacks. But our goal, remember, is not to get them to see things our way or to even agree with us. Our goal is reconciliation. So we go do we go seeking reconciliation?”

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