Responding to Anger with Christ-like Compassion

The Martyr internalizes anger, often leading to depression. Depression is caused by many different things, but one of the primary causes of depression is frozen anger. When you hold on to anger and you let it freeze in your life and you make yourself a martyr, you're going to get depressed. [00:13:43]

Manipulators will never tell you to your face they're angry with you, but they're going to do it subtly, they're going to do it slightly, they're going to do it sarcastically. They're indirect with jibes and cuts and they do things to sabotage you and they do things to make you look bad, but you never can catch them on it. [00:17:04]

Calculate the cost of anger before you allow yourself to get mad back. You calculate what you're going to lose. Calculate the cost of anger. You're less likely to get angry when somebody's pushing your buttons if you realize there's always a price tag to me getting angry back. [00:19:49]

An angry person causes trouble, and a person with a quick temper sins a lot. You're going to get in trouble more often and you're going to sin more often if you get angry. So don't do it. Hot tempers cause arguments. You don't want to get in arguments, and when you get angry, what is first a one-way pushing buttons is going to become an argument. [00:20:32]

I always lose when I lose my temper. Write that down. I always lose when I lose my temper. Now you can lose your respect, you can lose the respect of others, you can lose the love of your family, you can lose your job by losing your temper, you can lose your health by stuffing it down. [00:21:23]

Anger destroys relationships faster than anything else. So before when somebody starts pushing your buttons and they're pushing your buttons and they're pushing your button, before you retaliate, before you get angry back, you just realize do I really want to do this? Do I want to make mistakes? Do I want to send more? Do I want to act foolish? [00:22:11]

Look past their words to their pain. You don't respond to what they're saying. You look at why they're saying what they're saying. A man's wisdom gives him patience. It is to his glory to his credit to overlook an offense. You're wise if you don't listen to the words but you look at the pain behind the words. [00:23:27]

Hurt people hurt people. When somebody's hurting you, it's because they've been hurt and they are still hurting. Unkind people are people who have never felt kindness. Unloving people are people who feel unloved. When somebody is rude, bitter, unkind, sarcastic, mean-spirited, arrogant, attacking, they are shouting with all of their behaviors, I need massive doses of love. [00:24:47]

Secure, loved people don't act that way. They're not rude, they're not judgmental, they're not unkind, they're not attacking. The person who feels deeply loved and deeply secure is generous and gracious to other people. When somebody is mean and cranky, they are telegraphing in as loud terms as possible, I am in pain. [00:25:26]

The Martyr internalizes anger, often leading to depression. This response is characterized by self-blame and a sense of guilt, as seen in the elder brother's reaction in the parable of the Prodigal Son. Recognizing this pattern can help us address the root causes of our depression and seek healing. [00:13:43]

Manipulators express anger indirectly through sarcasm and subtle jibes. This behavior is often masked in spiritual terms, as demonstrated by the Pharisees' plotting against Jesus. Understanding this can help us identify and address manipulative behaviors in ourselves and others. [00:17:04]

Proverbs teaches us to calculate the cost of anger before reacting. Anger can lead to trouble, sin, and broken relationships. By recognizing the consequences, we can choose to respond with wisdom and self-control. [00:19:49]