Resolving Conflict Through Humility and Repentance

 

Summary

### Summary

Today, we delved into James 4, focusing on the root causes of conflict within the church and our personal lives. The passage begins with a probing question: "What is causing the quarrels and fights among you?" James points out that these conflicts stem from our internal desires and worldly inclinations. We often want what we don't have, leading to jealousy, scheming, and even metaphorical "murder" in our hearts. This internal strife spills over into our relationships and even affects our relationship with God. Our prayers become self-centered demands rather than humble requests aligned with God's will.

James calls us to humility, urging us to resist the devil and draw near to God. He emphasizes that our loyalty should not be divided between God and the world. The passage also highlights the importance of repentance, urging us to grieve over our sins genuinely. This sorrow leads to a deeper, more authentic relationship with God, who is always ready to welcome us back with open arms, much like the story of Hosea and his unfaithful wife.

In addressing conflict, James provides a roadmap: humble yourself, resist the devil, draw near to God, and repent. These steps help us align our desires with God's will, fostering unity within the church and strengthening our relationship with Him. The message concludes with a call to action, urging us to make things right with those we've wronged and to seek God's guidance in all our conflicts.

### Key Takeaways

1. Internal Desires as the Root of Conflict: James 4 teaches that our quarrels and fights stem from internal desires and worldly inclinations. These desires lead to jealousy, scheming, and even metaphorical "murder" in our hearts. Recognizing that the root of conflict lies within us is the first step toward resolution. [41:12]

2. Humility and Submission to God: Humbling ourselves before God is crucial. James emphasizes that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. By submitting to God, we align our desires with His, making it easier to resist the devil and draw near to Him. This humility fosters unity within the church and strengthens our relationship with God. [41:51]

3. The Importance of Genuine Repentance: Genuine repentance involves grieving over our sins and seeking God's forgiveness. James urges us to let there be tears, sorrow, and deep grief for what we've done. This heartfelt repentance leads to a deeper, more authentic relationship with God, who is always ready to welcome us back with open arms. [01:20:25]

4. Resisting the Devil: Resisting the devil involves not engaging with his temptations and being alert to his tactics. James assures us that if we resist the devil, he will flee from us. By staying vigilant and firm in our faith, we can overcome the devil's attempts to divide and destroy us. [01:10:21]

5. Making Things Right with Others: Addressing conflict involves making things right with those we've wronged. James encourages us to go directly to the person we've had a conflict with, seek forgiveness, and offer solutions. This approach fosters reconciliation and unity within the church, reflecting God's love and grace. [01:36:16]

### YouTube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[39:37] - Introduction and Personal Struggles
[40:26] - Reading from James 4
[41:12] - Root Causes of Conflict
[41:51] - Humility and Submission to God
[42:43] - Prayer for the Congregation
[43:25] - Recap of Previous Sermons
[44:13] - Real-Life Examples of Conflict
[45:02] - Understanding Conflict
[46:06] - Personal Experiences with Conflict
[49:55] - Internal Desires and Conflict
[50:48] - Conflict in the Church
[51:58] - Root of Conflict: Jealousy and Desires
[53:02] - Self-Reflection and Responsibility
[54:14] - Desires of the Flesh vs. Desires of the Spirit
[55:36] - Jesus' Teachings on Anger and Murder
[57:19] - Building God's Kingdom
[58:25] - Foolish Actions in Conflict
[01:00:12] - Conflict with God
[01:01:05] - Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
[01:02:10] - Importance of Prayer
[01:03:02] - Aligning Desires with God's Will
[01:04:49] - Friendship with the World
[01:05:27] - God's Unfailing Love
[01:06:31] - Addressing Conflict: Humility
[01:07:29] - Addressing Conflict: Resist the Devil
[01:09:40] - Addressing Conflict: Draw Near to God
[01:11:01] - Victory Over the Devil
[01:12:41] - God's Sovereignty
[01:13:42] - Drawing Near to God
[01:14:31] - Community and Expectations
[01:16:17] - God's Unfailing Love
[01:17:54] - Repentance and Humility
[01:20:25] - Genuine Repentance
[01:21:19] - God's Forgiveness
[01:22:08] - Call to Repentance
[01:23:34] - Invitation to Relationship with God
[01:24:26] - Recommitment and Rededication
[01:25:06] - Prayer of Repentance
[01:25:41] - Call to Repentance
[01:27:04] - Heart of Worship
[01:27:48] - Holy Ground
[01:28:26] - Personal Reflection
[01:35:11] - Making Things Right with Others
[01:36:16] - Seeking Forgiveness
[01:37:14] - Be Available to Forgive
[01:38:18] - Closing Worship and Prayer

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. James 4:1-10 (NIV)
> "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.' Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."

#### Observation Questions
1. What does James identify as the root cause of quarrels and fights among believers? ([41:12])
2. According to James, what are the consequences of having divided loyalty between God and the world? ([41:51])
3. How does James describe the process of genuine repentance? ([01:20:25])
4. What does James say will happen if we resist the devil? ([41:51])

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does James emphasize humility and submission to God as essential steps in resolving conflicts? ([41:51])
2. How does the concept of "friendship with the world" create enmity with God, according to James? ([41:12])
3. What does it mean to have "wrong motives" in prayer, and how does this affect our relationship with God? ([41:12])
4. How can the story of Hosea and his unfaithful wife illustrate God's willingness to welcome us back despite our sins? ([01:06:31])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent conflict you experienced. How did your internal desires contribute to the situation? What steps can you take to align your desires with God's will? ([41:12])
2. James calls us to humble ourselves and submit to God. What practical steps can you take this week to practice humility in your daily interactions? ([41:51])
3. Genuine repentance involves grieving over our sins. Have you ever experienced this kind of deep sorrow for your actions? How did it affect your relationship with God? ([01:20:25])
4. Resisting the devil requires vigilance and firm faith. What are some specific ways you can stay alert to the devil's tactics in your life? ([01:10:21])
5. James urges us to make things right with those we've wronged. Is there someone you need to seek forgiveness from or offer forgiveness to? How will you approach this reconciliation? ([01:36:16])
6. Consider your prayer life. Are your prayers more self-centered or aligned with God's will? How can you shift your focus to seek God's desires in your prayers? ([01:00:12])
7. Reflect on the story of Hosea and God's unfailing love. How does this story inspire you to return to God with a repentant heart, knowing He is always ready to welcome you back? ([01:06:31])

Devotional

Day 1: Recognizing Internal Desires as the Root of Conflict
Description: James 4 teaches that our quarrels and fights stem from internal desires and worldly inclinations. These desires lead to jealousy, scheming, and even metaphorical "murder" in our hearts. Recognizing that the root of conflict lies within us is the first step toward resolution. James points out that our internal strife spills over into our relationships and even affects our relationship with God. Our prayers become self-centered demands rather than humble requests aligned with God's will. By acknowledging and addressing these internal desires, we can begin to resolve conflicts and foster healthier relationships.

James encourages us to look inward and identify the desires that lead to conflict. This self-reflection is crucial for personal growth and spiritual maturity. When we understand the root causes of our conflicts, we can take steps to align our desires with God's will, leading to a more peaceful and harmonious life. [41:12]

James 4:1-2 (ESV): "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask."

Reflection: Think about a recent conflict you had. What internal desires or inclinations contributed to this conflict? How can you align these desires with God's will?


Day 2: Embracing Humility and Submission to God
Description: Humbling ourselves before God is crucial. James emphasizes that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. By submitting to God, we align our desires with His, making it easier to resist the devil and draw near to Him. This humility fosters unity within the church and strengthens our relationship with God. When we humble ourselves, we acknowledge our dependence on God and open ourselves to His guidance and grace.

Humility is not about thinking less of ourselves but about recognizing our need for God and others. It involves letting go of pride and self-sufficiency and embracing a posture of dependence and trust in God. This attitude of humility allows us to experience God's grace more fully and to build stronger, more authentic relationships with others. [41:51]

James 4:6-7 (ESV): "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Reflection: In what areas of your life do you struggle with pride? How can you practice humility and submission to God in these areas today?


Day 3: The Importance of Genuine Repentance
Description: Genuine repentance involves grieving over our sins and seeking God's forgiveness. James urges us to let there be tears, sorrow, and deep grief for what we've done. This heartfelt repentance leads to a deeper, more authentic relationship with God, who is always ready to welcome us back with open arms. Repentance is not just about feeling sorry for our sins but about turning away from them and seeking to live in alignment with God's will.

True repentance requires us to acknowledge our sins, feel genuine remorse, and make a conscious decision to change our behavior. This process of repentance brings us closer to God and allows us to experience His forgiveness and grace. It also helps us to grow spiritually and to become more like Christ in our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. [01:20:25]

Joel 2:12-13 (ESV): "Yet even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments." Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster."

Reflection: Reflect on a specific sin in your life that you need to repent of. How can you express genuine sorrow and seek God's forgiveness for this sin today?


Day 4: Resisting the Devil
Description: Resisting the devil involves not engaging with his temptations and being alert to his tactics. James assures us that if we resist the devil, he will flee from us. By staying vigilant and firm in our faith, we can overcome the devil's attempts to divide and destroy us. Resisting the devil requires us to be aware of his schemes and to stand firm in our faith, relying on God's strength and guidance.

The devil seeks to lead us away from God and to create division and conflict in our lives. By resisting his temptations and staying close to God, we can protect ourselves from his influence and live in a way that honors God. This involves being proactive in our spiritual lives, staying grounded in God's Word, and seeking His guidance and strength in times of temptation. [01:10:21]

1 Peter 5:8-9 (ESV): "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."

Reflection: What are some specific temptations you face regularly? How can you actively resist these temptations and stay firm in your faith?


Day 5: Making Things Right with Others
Description: Addressing conflict involves making things right with those we've wronged. James encourages us to go directly to the person we've had a conflict with, seek forgiveness, and offer solutions. This approach fosters reconciliation and unity within the church, reflecting God's love and grace. Making things right with others requires humility, courage, and a willingness to take responsibility for our actions.

When we seek to reconcile with others, we demonstrate the love and grace of God in our relationships. This process of reconciliation helps to heal wounds, restore trust, and build stronger, more authentic connections with others. It also allows us to experience the peace and unity that God desires for His people. [01:36:16]

Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV): "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."

Reflection: Think of someone you have wronged or had a conflict with. How can you take steps to seek forgiveness and make things right with this person today?

Quotes

1. "So humble yourself before God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come close to God and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners. Purify your hearts for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up in honor." [41:51] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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2. "Our conflict comes because we don't get what we want. And like spoiled children, like a spoiled child that doesn't get their way, we stand in the middle of the store and we throw a temper tantrum. What is the source of our conflict? We are the source of conflict. The battles between us are because of the battles between us. The battles within us. It's an internal problem. It's not an external problem. What James is telling us, it's a me problem, not a you problem or my opponent. It's a me problem." [53:02] (39 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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3. "When we take matters into our own hands, we are telling God to butt out. Instead of holding our tongue or asking God for forgiveness. Or asking God for guidance in a situation. We are instead saying no God. Hold my beer. I got this. God does not want to be on the sidelines when we face conflict. He wants to be in the ring fighting our battles in accordance with his will for the situation. In other words, we are selfish in what we are asking God for. We are not even asking God if it's in his will." [01:03:02] (35 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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4. "God is saying the only way to fix this situation is to first look inside. You are responsible for dealing with the part that has to do with you. It is not your responsibility to fix others' part in the conflict. You're not going to fix somebody else. You can only fix you. And there's some questions we can ask ourselves as we begin to humble ourselves. The first question we can ask is, God, do my desires line up with your desires? The second question we can ask is, what do I hope to gain? Does this bring God glory?" [01:08:27] (47 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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5. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people. And of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you. You know, I had, when I was writing this sermon, I had this really cool story about the Supreme Court. But I'm not going to tell it to you. Because God, he interrupted that. As I said, I really wrestled with this message. And I was in the shower, TMI. But God was like, God was like, you know what you need to say here. But you, you're fighting it." [01:13:42] (40 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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6. "I feel this so deep in my spirit that some of us today have offenses against our brothers or sisters here because they let you down or didn't show up for you like you expected them to. I have a question for you, though, this morning. Were you expecting them, were you expecting of them what you should be expecting of God? You see, our relationship here is with God first. Our community is a beautiful bonus. But I have seen time and time again the devil use strife in the name of church to cause division." [01:14:31] (40 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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7. "I think James really makes it clear here that it's not going to feel good. That when God calls us to conviction, for living, standing between the world and between what he has called us to, he is calling us, guys, his bride, to come home. And I have seen enough to tell you that when a bride wants to come back to their husband after they've walked away, they don't just walk back and they don't just go, I'm back. They come crawling and they go, I'm so sorry. They come with a heart that is just grieving because there's potential that they could be losing the love of their life." [01:20:25] (65 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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8. "I know that's hard because there are some things that are really, really big and they're hard. And I'm not asking you to forget it, but I'm asking you to forgive and to not hold it against them any longer. So I am going to welcome the prayer team up here. And I know I called you to do something very independent of agreeing with somebody in prayer. But during this last song, if there is something that you need in prayer, maybe you need to stand in agreement with somebody over a situation that you need to make right." [01:37:14] (32 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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