Reframing Sexuality: Embracing God's Vision for Intimacy
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, everyone. Today, we embark on a challenging yet essential conversation about sexual formation. This topic often brings feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment, but it's crucial to address it through the lens of our faith. We are all sexually broken in some way, shaped by various influences like family, media, and culture. The question isn't whether we're being formed, but what story is shaping us.
Two dominant stories have shaped our understanding of sex: the story of shame and the secular story. The story of shame reduces Christian sexual ethics to a single rule: no sex before marriage. This has led to a generation filled with fear, shame, and unrealistic expectations. On the other hand, the secular story promotes unrestricted sexual pleasure, reducing sex to a mere biological release. This story commodifies sex, leaving people feeling used, numb, and disillusioned.
In contrast, the Christian vision of sex offers a more compelling and beautiful narrative. It honors our bodies and sexual desires without giving in to every whim. Our desire for connection and intimacy is a holy, God-given gift. The Christian sexual ethic is a gift that insists on modesty, lifelong fidelity, and mutual commitment. It is a story that says our bodies matter, and what we do with them is significant.
Paul's first letter to the Corinthians provides a framework for understanding this sacred story. He argues that our bodies are not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord. Through Jesus's death and resurrection, all creation is being renewed, including our bodies. This means that our sexual desires are not just hormones and social conditioning; they are a compass leading us back to God.
Our sexuality points to our deep longing for union with God. This longing expresses itself in various ways, but at its core, it is a desire for intimacy with the divine. The Christian vision identifies marriage as the space where bodies are most honored, but it also values celibacy and singleness. Our sexual desires are a homing beacon, reminding us of the passionate nature of God's love for us.
The Christian sexual ethic is not just about rules; it's about cultivating relationships and communities that sustain life. It insists on the dignity and integrity of all humans, offering a better witness to the world. We must reframe our sexuality in light of this sacred story, recognizing that our bodies are a gift from God. Let's work towards a better story, one that fulfills our deepest longings in God alone.
### Key Takeaways
1. The Story of Shame and Its Impact: The story of shame reduces Christian sexual ethics to a single rule: no sex before marriage. This has led to a generation filled with fear, shame, and unrealistic expectations. It offers no guidance for those who have come to faith after a promiscuous life, divorce, or sexual assault. We must move beyond this simplistic narrative to embrace the depth and beauty of the Christian story. [03:10]
2. The Secular Story and Its Consequences: The secular story promotes unrestricted sexual pleasure, reducing sex to a mere biological release. This commodifies sex, leaving people feeling used, numb, and disillusioned. The Christian vision stands in contrast, insisting that sex is too holy to be shared flippantly. It calls us to honor our bodies and our sexual desires as gifts from God. [06:37]
3. The Christian Vision of Sexuality: The Christian vision of sex honors our bodies and desires without giving in to every whim. It insists that our desire for connection and intimacy is a holy, God-given gift. This vision identifies marriage as the space where bodies are most honored but also values celibacy and singleness. Our sexual desires are a compass leading us back to God. [09:34]
4. Our Bodies Matter: Paul argues that our bodies are not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord. Through Jesus's death and resurrection, all creation is being renewed, including our bodies. This means that our sexual desires are not just hormones and social conditioning; they are a homing beacon reminding us of the passionate nature of God's love for us. [14:55]
5. Cultivating Relationships and Communities: The Christian sexual ethic is about cultivating relationships and communities that sustain life. It insists on the dignity and integrity of all humans, offering a better witness to the world. We must reframe our sexuality in light of this sacred story, recognizing that our bodies are a gift from God. Let's work towards a better story, one that fulfills our deepest longings in God alone. [27:37]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[01:28] - Introduction to Sexual Formation
[03:10] - The Story of Shame
[04:52] - The Secular Story
[06:37] - Consequences of the Secular Story
[08:16] - The Christian Vision of Sexuality
[09:34] - Exploring 1 Corinthians 6
[11:13] - Context of Corinth
[13:09] - Paul's Response to Corinthian Sexual Ethics
[14:55] - The Importance of Our Bodies
[16:33] - The Holiness of Sexual Bonds
[18:27] - Longing for Union with God
[20:12] - Sexual Desire as a Homing Beacon
[22:07] - Metaphors of Union
[23:55] - The Sacred Story of Sex
[25:45] - Invitation to Sexual Integrity
[27:37] - Cultivating Life-Sustaining Communities
[29:10] - The Christian Sexual Revolution
[30:46] - A Better Witness to the World
[32:07] - Summary of the Better Story
[33:53] - Addressing Guilt and Shame
[35:48] - Reframing Our Sexuality
[37:35] - The Hard Work of Healing
[39:20] - Finding Fulfillment in God
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 (NIV)
> "I have the right to do anything," you say—but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both." The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power, God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
### Observation Questions
1. What are the two dominant stories that have shaped our understanding of sex according to the sermon? ([03:10])
2. How does Paul describe the purpose of our bodies in 1 Corinthians 6:13? ([14:55])
3. What does the Christian vision of sex emphasize about our bodies and desires? ([09:34])
4. According to the sermon, what is the significance of our sexual desires in relation to God? ([20:12])
### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the story of shame impact individuals' views on their own bodies and desires? ([03:10])
2. In what ways does the secular story commodify sex, and what are its consequences? ([06:37])
3. How does the Christian vision of sexuality offer a more compelling narrative compared to the story of shame and the secular story? ([09:34])
4. What does it mean for our bodies to be temples of the Holy Spirit, and how should this influence our actions? ([25:45])
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own experiences. Have you ever felt the impact of the story of shame in your life? How did it affect your view of sexuality? ([03:10])
2. How can you honor your body and sexual desires as gifts from God in your daily life? ([09:34])
3. In what ways can you cultivate relationships and communities that sustain life and uphold the Christian sexual ethic? ([27:37])
4. How can you reframe your understanding of sexuality to align with the sacred story presented in the sermon? ([35:48])
5. Think of a time when you felt used or disillusioned by the secular story of sex. How can the Christian vision of sexuality bring healing to that experience? ([06:37])
6. What practical steps can you take to ensure that your sexual desires lead you back to God rather than away from Him? ([20:12])
7. How can you support others in your community who are struggling with sexual brokenness and help them find healing in the Christian vision of sexuality? ([33:53])
Devotional
Day 1: Moving Beyond the Story of Shame
The story of shame reduces Christian sexual ethics to a single rule: no sex before marriage. This has led to a generation filled with fear, shame, and unrealistic expectations. It offers no guidance for those who have come to faith after a promiscuous life, divorce, or sexual assault. We must move beyond this simplistic narrative to embrace the depth and beauty of the Christian story. [03:10]
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (ESV): "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Reflection: Think about an area in your life where you have felt shame related to your sexuality. How can you invite God's healing and grace into that area today?
Day 2: The Consequences of the Secular Story
The secular story promotes unrestricted sexual pleasure, reducing sex to a mere biological release. This commodifies sex, leaving people feeling used, numb, and disillusioned. The Christian vision stands in contrast, insisting that sex is too holy to be shared flippantly. It calls us to honor our bodies and our sexual desires as gifts from God. [06:37]
Ephesians 4:19-24 (ESV): "They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!—assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."
Reflection: Reflect on how the secular story of sexuality has influenced your views and actions. What steps can you take to align your understanding of sex with the Christian vision of honoring your body as a gift from God?
Day 3: The Christian Vision of Sexuality
The Christian vision of sex honors our bodies and desires without giving in to every whim. It insists that our desire for connection and intimacy is a holy, God-given gift. This vision identifies marriage as the space where bodies are most honored but also values celibacy and singleness. Our sexual desires are a compass leading us back to God. [09:34]
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (ESV): "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God."
Reflection: Consider how you can honor your body and sexual desires in a way that reflects God's holiness. What practical steps can you take to cultivate a healthy and holy view of sexuality?
Day 4: The Importance of Our Bodies
Paul argues that our bodies are not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord. Through Jesus's death and resurrection, all creation is being renewed, including our bodies. This means that our sexual desires are not just hormones and social conditioning; they are a homing beacon reminding us of the passionate nature of God's love for us. [14:55]
Romans 12:1-2 (ESV): "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Reflection: How can you present your body as a living sacrifice to God today? What changes in your daily habits would reflect this commitment?
Day 5: Cultivating Life-Sustaining Communities
The Christian sexual ethic is about cultivating relationships and communities that sustain life. It insists on the dignity and integrity of all humans, offering a better witness to the world. We must reframe our sexuality in light of this sacred story, recognizing that our bodies are a gift from God. Let's work towards a better story, one that fulfills our deepest longings in God alone. [27:37]
Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV): "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
Reflection: Think about your current community and relationships. How can you contribute to creating a life-sustaining community that honors God and upholds the dignity and integrity of all its members?
Quotes
1. "The reality is that many of us don't want to pursue a conversation on our sexuality or on this subject because we are painfully aware of how broken we are. This is a conversation that can bring up feelings of shame, embarrassment, guilt, or anxiety. But let me maybe offer some comfort. We're all feeling some of the same things. You're not alone in that feeling of embarrassment. You're not alone in that feeling of shame. We are together a community of sexual brokenness. Because in one way or another, we are all sexually broken." [01:28] (38 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "The question isn't whether I'm being formed or not. The question is what story is shaping me? What story am I letting form me? Now, there are an abundance of stories vying for our attention, vying for our adoption. But I think two stories in particular have dominated the American imagination and most distorted our understanding of sex. The first is the story of shame. The shame story proposes one simple rule. No sex before marriage." [03:10] (40 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "The Christian invitation is a story that invites us to honor our bodies and our sexual desires without giving in to every whim. It's a story that insists that our desire for connection and intimacy is holy, a God-given gift. It is a story that says a Christian sexual ethic is a gift. It is a story that says that modesty within is a gift, Il إيمد أن تحذرك المنصة is a part of the life you have always longed for." [08:16] (60 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "The good news is that through Jesus's death and resurrection, all creation is being renewed, healed, and restored. Everything broken, mended, all evil undone, every wrong made right, and in the name of Jesus, we are forgiven, transformed, and liberated by the Spirit of God. Paul argues that you do not have the right to do anything because someone has a claim on you. Someone says you are too valuable, you are too precious, and you are too wonderful to give yourself away like that." [14:55] (35 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "Our bodies are the instruments by which the invisible becomes visible. Generosity revealed through an outstretched hand. Patience revealed in relaxed shoulders. Mercy revealed in a hug. Goodness revealed in action. Our bodies are how the invisible is made visible, and our bodies matter, and thus sex matters. This is where Paul is going about uniting with a prostitute. What Paul calls two becoming one flesh is this biological, physiological, and emotional bonds that are forged through sexual intimacy." [16:33] (37 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
6. "Contrary to popular opinion, Orthodox Christianity has a much higher view of sex than the shame story or the secular story. We believe sex is too holy of a union to just share with anyone. The Christian vision identifies marriage, a lifelong commitment, as the space in which bodies are most honored. It is a beautiful invitation to go, my body is sacred, and it first belongs to the Lord." [18:27] (36 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
7. "Our sexual desire is an ache to connect with another human. It is the impulse to move towards intimacy, vulnerability, and bonds. Philip Yancey observed that the very word sex comes from a Latin verb that means to cut off. Or sever. And sexual impulses drive us to unite, to restore the union that has been severed. Freud diagnosed the deep pain within us as a longing for union with a parent. Young diagnosed a longing for union with the opposite sex. The Christian sees a deeper longing for union with the God who created us." [20:12] (45 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
8. "The sacred story traces back to our deepest longing and says the fulfillment of that is unity with God. Single, celibate, dating, divorce, married, satisfied or unsatisfied, we are all invited to search the corners of our deepest longings and discover they all lead back to God. That does not mean every sexual desire is to be acted on, as Paul will soon point out, but that in paying attention, in paying attention to our sexual desires, we will understand the passionate nature of God's love for us." [23:55] (40 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
9. "The Christian sexual ethic isn't a repressive case for monogamy. It is a revolution insisting that all humans are worthy of honor and dignity. Social commentator Louise Perry argues that the Christian sexual vision is and was nothing short of a revolution. She writes, Christianity upended an ethical system in which male access to the female body was unquestioned, and unquestionable. Whereas the Romans regarded male chastity as profoundly unhealthy, Christians prized it and insisted on it." [29:10] (41 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
10. "The sacred story of sex is a better witness to the world because it insists on the dignity, integrity, and integrity of all humans. Worship team, if you want to join me, I'm going to bring this to a close. Conversations like this can often leave us feeling guilty. Some of you are probably working through a whole host of emotions even right now. There can be a lot of anxiety or embarrassment, a feeling of being exposed. And I just want to gently remind you, welcome home." [33:53] (50 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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