Reflecting Jesus: Building Relational Intelligence Through Compassion
Summary
### Summary
Welcome, everyone. Today, we are diving into Philippians chapter 2, a passage that offers profound wisdom on relational intelligence. Before we delve into the Word, let's take a moment to pray. We are grateful for our various campuses and language groups, and we lift up Pastor Ayman Kafrouni as he travels to Egypt to minister. On this Pentecost Sunday, we ask for a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit, that our lives may reflect Jesus more and more.
Philippians 2:1-5 encourages us to live with the same attitude as Jesus Christ. Paul urges us to be humble, to think of others as better than ourselves, and to look out for the interests of others. This passage is rich with practical advice for improving our relational health. Today, I want to focus on three key points: prioritize the person, pause before responding, and plan good questions.
First, prioritize the person. Paul tells us to be humble and to think of others as better than ourselves. This doesn't mean we should devalue ourselves, but rather, we should assign appropriate value to every person we meet. Each person is precious in God's eyes, and we should see them as Jesus does. Even when people are difficult, we should strive to understand their story and show compassion.
Next, pause before responding. In conversations, our goal should not be to impress others but to bless them. Winston Churchill's mother once said that dining with Prime Minister William Gladstone made her feel he was the most clever man in the world, while dining with Benjamin Disraeli made her feel she was the most clever person. The difference lies in the ability to make others feel valued. By pausing before we respond, we can listen more attentively and show genuine interest in others.
Finally, plan good questions. Asking thoughtful questions can deepen our connections and make others feel valued. Jesus often asked questions to draw out what was in people's hearts. Heather Holliman, a professor at Penn State, suggests six types of questions: social, emotional, physical, cognitive, volitional, and spiritual. These questions can help us engage in meaningful conversations and show that we care.
As we reflect on these points, let's remember that Jesus had compassion on the crowds because they were like sheep without a shepherd. He saw beyond their rough exteriors and understood their struggles. We, too, can ask God to fill our hearts with compassion and to help us see others through His eyes.
In conclusion, let's strive to prioritize the person, pause before responding, and plan good questions. By doing so, we can build deeper connections and reflect the love of Jesus in our interactions. May the Holy Spirit fill us and empower us to love others well. Amen.
### Key Takeaways
1. Prioritize the Person: Philippians 2:3 encourages us to be humble and to think of others as better than ourselves. This means assigning appropriate value to every person we meet, recognizing that they are precious in God's eyes. Even when people are difficult, we should strive to understand their story and show compassion. This approach helps us to see others as Jesus does and to love them accordingly. [47:50]
2. Pause Before Responding: In conversations, our goal should not be to impress others but to bless them. By pausing before we respond, we can listen more attentively and show genuine interest in others. This approach helps us to make others feel valued and appreciated, much like how Benjamin Disraeli made people feel clever and important. [54:39]
3. Plan Good Questions: Asking thoughtful questions can deepen our connections and make others feel valued. Jesus often asked questions to draw out what was in people's hearts. Heather Holliman suggests six types of questions: social, emotional, physical, cognitive, volitional, and spiritual. These questions can help us engage in meaningful conversations and show that we care. [01:01:05]
4. Compassion Like Jesus: Jesus had compassion on the crowds because they were like sheep without a shepherd. He saw beyond their rough exteriors and understood their struggles. We, too, can ask God to fill our hearts with compassion and to help us see others through His eyes. This compassion can transform our interactions and make a significant impact on those around us. [51:49]
5. Empowered by the Holy Spirit: On this Pentecost Sunday, we are reminded that the Holy Spirit empowers us to live and love like Jesus. By asking the Holy Spirit to fill us, we can draw on His resources to show compassion, ask good questions, and prioritize others. This divine empowerment enables us to reflect Jesus in our daily interactions and to make a lasting impact. [01:14:51]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[42:41] - Introduction and Prayer
[43:36] - Praying for Pastor Ayman and Language Groups
[44:40] - Pentecost Sunday and the Holy Spirit
[45:31] - Praying for Various Ministries
[46:26] - Reading Philippians 2:1-5
[47:13] - Prioritize the Person
[47:50] - Humility and Valuing Others
[48:35] - Seeing Others Through Jesus' Eyes
[49:45] - Compassion Over Condemnation
[50:53] - Jesus' Compassion for the Crowds
[51:49] - Asking for Jesus' Heart
[52:48] - Self-Reflection on Valuing Others
[53:51] - Pause Before Responding
[54:39] - Blessing Over Impressing
[55:30] - Winston Churchill's Mother and Prime Ministers
[56:27] - Planning Good Questions
[57:21] - Balancing Interests in Relationships
[58:22] - The Art of Asking Questions
[59:51] - Jesus' Example of Asking Questions
[01:01:05] - Types of Questions to Ask
[01:02:28] - Examples of Good Questions
[01:04:10] - Practical Application of Questions
[01:05:40] - Conversation Starters
[01:07:15] - Living Out Philippians 2
[01:14:51] - Empowered by the Holy Spirit
[01:15:22] - Conclusion and Blessing
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- Philippians 2:1-5 (NLT)
- Mark 6:34 (NLT)
#### Observation Questions
1. According to Philippians 2:3, how should we view others in comparison to ourselves?
2. What does Philippians 2:4 suggest about our interests and the interests of others?
3. In Mark 6:34, how did Jesus respond to the crowd, and what does this reveal about His character?
4. What are the three key points mentioned in the sermon for improving relational health? ([47:13])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul emphasize humility and valuing others in Philippians 2:3? How does this align with Jesus' teachings? ([47:50])
2. How can pausing before responding in conversations make others feel valued, according to the sermon? ([54:39])
3. What is the significance of asking good questions in building deeper connections, as illustrated by Jesus' example? ([01:01:05])
4. How does Jesus' compassion for the crowds in Mark 6:34 challenge our approach to difficult people? ([50:53])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent interaction where you struggled to see someone as valuable. How can you change your perspective to see them through Jesus' eyes? ([48:35])
2. Think of a time when you responded quickly in a conversation and later regretted it. How can you practice pausing before responding in future interactions? ([54:39])
3. Identify a person in your life with whom you want to build a deeper connection. What thoughtful questions can you plan to ask them to show genuine interest? ([01:02:28])
4. Jesus had compassion on the crowds because they were like sheep without a shepherd. How can you cultivate a heart of compassion for those around you, especially those who are difficult to love? ([50:53])
5. On this Pentecost Sunday, we are reminded of the Holy Spirit's empowerment. How can you rely on the Holy Spirit to help you prioritize others, pause before responding, and ask good questions? ([01:14:51])
6. Consider a situation where you felt undervalued or ignored. How did it affect you, and how can this experience motivate you to make others feel valued in your interactions? ([56:27])
7. What specific steps can you take this week to practice the three key points from the sermon: prioritizing the person, pausing before responding, and planning good questions? ([47:13])
Devotional
Day 1: Valuing Others as Jesus Does
Description: Philippians 2:3 encourages us to be humble and to think of others as better than ourselves. This means assigning appropriate value to every person we meet, recognizing that they are precious in God's eyes. Even when people are difficult, we should strive to understand their story and show compassion. This approach helps us to see others as Jesus does and to love them accordingly. [47:50]
Romans 12:10 (ESV): "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."
Reflection: Think of someone in your life who is difficult to love. How can you show them compassion and value them as Jesus does today?
Day 2: Listening with Intent
Description: In conversations, our goal should not be to impress others but to bless them. By pausing before we respond, we can listen more attentively and show genuine interest in others. This approach helps us to make others feel valued and appreciated, much like how Benjamin Disraeli made people feel clever and important. [54:39]
James 1:19 (ESV): "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."
Reflection: In your next conversation, practice pausing before you respond. How does this change the dynamic of the interaction?
Day 3: Asking Meaningful Questions
Description: Asking thoughtful questions can deepen our connections and make others feel valued. Jesus often asked questions to draw out what was in people's hearts. Heather Holliman suggests six types of questions: social, emotional, physical, cognitive, volitional, and spiritual. These questions can help us engage in meaningful conversations and show that we care. [01:01:05]
Proverbs 20:5 (ESV): "The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out."
Reflection: Think of a person you will interact with today. What is one meaningful question you can ask them to show you care about their heart?
Day 4: Seeing with Compassion
Description: Jesus had compassion on the crowds because they were like sheep without a shepherd. He saw beyond their rough exteriors and understood their struggles. We, too, can ask God to fill our hearts with compassion and to help us see others through His eyes. This compassion can transform our interactions and make a significant impact on those around us. [51:49]
Matthew 9:36 (ESV): "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."
Reflection: Ask God to show you someone who needs compassion today. How can you extend Jesus' love to them in a tangible way?
Day 5: Empowered by the Holy Spirit
Description: On this Pentecost Sunday, we are reminded that the Holy Spirit empowers us to live and love like Jesus. By asking the Holy Spirit to fill us, we can draw on His resources to show compassion, ask good questions, and prioritize others. This divine empowerment enables us to reflect Jesus in our daily interactions and to make a lasting impact. [01:14:51]
Acts 1:8 (ESV): "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth."
Reflection: Take a moment to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you today. How can you rely on His power to love others well in your daily interactions?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "It's difficult to make friends, and it feels hard. Maybe you're in a group, and you go, people just didn't reach out to me. You know, I didn't really, you know what? We all have a measure of insecurity. It's not like everybody else feels great about their interactions, and you're the one person. Sometimes we think that, but that's a lie from the enemy. What if we were the person who learned to ask good questions, to draw other? I can guarantee you, you will establish better connections, deeper friendships, and you'll have a better relationship. I can guarantee you, you'll help other people to feel really valued." [01:01:05]
2. "People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners. They're seen as better listeners, more understanding, and more caring. And when we do this, when we learn to ask questions, when Paul says in verse 5 of Philippians 2, he says, I want you to have the same attitude, the same mindset as Jesus Christ. Jesus was one, you read the Gospels, and you're like, wow, he asked a ton of questions, right?" [01:01:05]
3. "God created you and me to connect with others. Right? We are not meant to be like, God looked when he saw a man, Adam, in the garden. And he is by himself. And God goes, it is not good for a person to be what? To be alone. And so he creates us to be in relationship. I have listed in your notes a few of the benefits of God. Having just vibrant, healthy relationships. Emotional support. When you found a few others to confide and share your feelings, you know, with. I mean, it is just, it is a huge gift. Right? Especially when you are going through a crisis in life." [40:16]
4. "It's actually healthier to eat ice cream together than it is to eat broccoli alone. Anybody like that? That is true, right? Now, my doctor, who is a great guy and attends Grace, would say, John, it would actually be better to eat broccoli together. But I am sticking with my first statement there for right now." [41:49]
5. "Friends, tomorrow is a new day to love people, to value them like Jesus does, to make some connections, to see friendships grow and our impact increase, to live out the life of Jesus. Philippians 2, don't be afraid. Be selfish. Don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as what? Better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others. Your attitude should have, be the same that Christ Jesus had." [01:07:15]
### Quotes for Members
1. "Remember how Jesus was? He described himself in this way. He said, I am gentle and what? Humble in heart. And the way of Jesus is this. That he wasn't selfish. He wasn't trying to impress others. There's a statement in your notes that says this. You're not here to impress, but to what? But to bless. You're not here to impress, but to bless. If in my mind I can say in every conversation, Lord, I'm going to prioritize this person. I'm going to see them as better than myself. I'm not here to impress them. I'm here to bless them." [55:30]
2. "You know what Jesus saw when he looked at others? He interacted with so many different people and some of them were like, they were really difficult, disliked people. In his perspective, Mark chapter 6 verse 34 says this. It's not the only time. When Jesus landed, you know, on the shore, he's on a boat, Sea of Galilee. He lands and he saw a large crowd. He was frustrated with how difficult they were. No, no, no, no. What? He had compassion on them because they were, he saw beneath, they were like sheep without a shepherd. Compassion. He saw through the rough exterior to what was going on inside of the people." [50:53]
3. "He says, be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Wow. Would you say that underlined part with me? Ready? Thinking of others as better. Wow. That's a tough one, isn't it? I want to be clear. This doesn't mean that you just start to beat yourself up to go, well, I don't really think highly of them. But I'm just going to sort of self-flagellate here. I am like a total loser. I'm a horrible, no-good person. I guess they're a little bit better than I am. That's not what he's saying here. He's not saying to beat yourself up. He says to humble yourself. But what he's saying is I want you to give appropriate value to every single person that you meet." [47:50]
4. "One of the best ways is to learn to ask good questions, good questions. I think we all know people who are great at that, and, you know, you're with them, and you just, you leave a conversation, you're like, they got me talking about stuff I haven't talked about in a long time, or talking about my feelings, or about how, you know, what crisis I'm going through. You know anybody like that? Where you leave feeling, and not only do they ask good questions, but they listen really well. And you sort of might be tempted to think, I wish I was born like they were. Can I give you a little secret? They weren't what? Born like that. They weren't born like that. It doesn't just happen. They worked at it, and they've been intentional, and they've thought ahead." [58:22]
5. "You know, sometimes I think we're all in various environments where we find it difficult to ask good questions. I want to ask good questions. I want to ask good questions. You know what Jesus saw when he looked at others? He interacted with so many different people and some of them were like, they were really difficult, disliked people. In his perspective, Mark chapter 6 verse 34 says this. It's not the only time. When Jesus landed, you know, on the shore, he's on a boat, Sea of Galilee. He lands and he saw a large crowd. He was frustrated with how difficult they were. No, no, no, no. What? He had compassion on them because they were, he saw beneath, they were like sheep without a shepherd. Compassion. He saw through the rough exterior to what was going on inside of the people." [50:53]
6. "So a conversation about breakfast might end up leading to something else, and maybe even a spiritual conversation. There are limitless possibilities. We can really get better at this. We really can. And so I want you to, would you say aloud of me these three big, big points once again? You ready? Prioritize the person, pause before responding, and plan good questions. So I want you to think, just as we close here, I want you to think about maybe the first conversation you'll have tomorrow. Might be on the phone, might be a text, could be with someone at work or at school. What are you going to ask them? Instead of saying, how was your weekend? No offense, but that's sort of, a boring question. What was the best part of your weekend? Anything you're really excited." [01:05:40]