Reflecting Christ's Love in Marriage: A Divine Model
Summary
In Ephesians 5:25-33, we find profound insights into the relationship between Christ and the Church, and how this serves as a model for the relationship between husbands and wives. The Apostle Paul emphasizes that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church, which involves a sacrificial, nurturing, and cherishing love. This love is not automatic; it requires thought, understanding, and a commitment to the principles laid out in Scripture. The Christian view of marriage is distinct from the world's view, as it is rooted in the divine relationship between Christ and the Church, and it calls for a positive, idealistic approach that continually seeks to reflect this heavenly pattern.
Marriage, according to Christian teaching, is not merely a partnership but a unity where the husband and wife become one flesh. This unity demands that husbands think of their wives as part of themselves, not as separate entities. The failure in marriage often stems from self-centeredness, which is the root of many problems in the world. The antidote is mutual submission and a commitment to love one's spouse as oneself. This involves not only avoiding abuse and neglect but also actively nourishing and cherishing one's spouse, just as one would care for one's own body.
The practical application of these principles involves a conscious effort to include one's spouse in all aspects of life, ensuring that they are not taken for granted. This includes sharing life experiences, consulting them in decisions, and protecting them from life's challenges. The analogy of the body is used to illustrate how a husband should care for his wife, emphasizing the need for nourishment, exercise, and protection. This care should be proactive, aiming to build up the spouse's resilience and well-being, ensuring that the marriage grows and flourishes over time.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding and Thoughtfulness: Success in marriage, as in all aspects of Christian life, requires thoughtful understanding. Many troubles arise from assuming things happen automatically, but true growth comes from reasoning and understanding the principles of Christ and the Church. [03:52]
- Positive Conception of Marriage: Christian marriage is not just like any other marriage with the addition of faith; it is fundamentally different. It is a positive, idealistic relationship that mirrors the union between Christ and the Church, continually striving for this divine standard. [09:06]
- Unity and Selflessness: The essence of marriage is unity, where two become one flesh. Self-centeredness disrupts this unity, and the Christian approach is to submit to one another in love, reflecting the selfless relationship between Christ and the Church. [12:41]
- Active Nourishment and Cherishing: Husbands are called to love their wives as their own bodies, which involves active nourishment and cherishing. This means considering what pleases and strengthens the wife, ensuring her well-being and happiness. [35:10]
- Protection and Support: Just as one protects their body from harm, husbands should protect their wives from life's challenges. This involves understanding their unique needs and weaknesses and providing support and care to build resilience and strength. [41:16]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:10] - Introduction to Ephesians 5
- [01:22] - Themes of Christ and the Church
- [02:30] - Application to Husbands
- [03:20] - Importance of Thoughtfulness
- [04:48] - The Problem of War and Thoughtlessness
- [06:24] - Christian Teaching on Marriage
- [08:32] - Positive Conception of Marriage
- [10:00] - The Ideal of Christian Marriage
- [12:41] - The Problem of Self
- [15:09] - Unity in Marriage
- [17:00] - Practical Application for Husbands
- [21:58] - The Analogy of the Body
- [25:55] - Avoiding Abuse and Neglect
- [35:10] - Nourishing and Cherishing
- [41:16] - Protection and Support
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
- Ephesians 5:25-33
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Observation Questions:
1. According to Ephesians 5:25-33, how is the relationship between Christ and the Church used as a model for the relationship between husbands and wives? [01:22]
2. What does the Apostle Paul mean when he says that husbands should love their wives as their own bodies? How does this relate to the concept of unity in marriage? [17:33]
3. In the sermon, what are some of the practical ways mentioned that husbands can actively nourish and cherish their wives? [35:10]
4. How does the sermon describe the consequences of neglecting one's spouse, and what examples are given to illustrate this point? [29:33]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the concept of sacrificial love, as demonstrated by Christ for the Church, challenge the common worldly views of marriage? [09:33]
2. The sermon emphasizes the importance of thoughtfulness and understanding in marriage. How does this principle apply to resolving conflicts within a marriage? [03:20]
3. What does the sermon suggest about the role of selflessness in maintaining the unity of marriage, and how does this reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church? [12:41]
4. How can the analogy of the body, as used in the sermon, help husbands understand their role in protecting and supporting their wives? [41:16]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current understanding of marriage. How does the idea of loving your spouse as Christ loved the Church challenge or affirm your views? [01:22]
2. Consider a recent decision you made without consulting your spouse. How might including them in such decisions strengthen your relationship? [20:58]
3. Identify one area where you might be neglecting your spouse. What practical steps can you take this week to address this neglect? [29:33]
4. Think about a time when self-centeredness caused tension in your marriage. How can you practice mutual submission and selflessness in your relationship moving forward? [12:41]
5. How can you actively nourish and cherish your spouse this week? Consider specific actions that align with their needs and preferences. [35:10]
6. Reflect on a challenge your spouse is currently facing. How can you offer protection and support to help them build resilience? [41:16]
7. In what ways can you ensure that your marriage continues to grow and flourish, reflecting the ideal relationship between Christ and the Church? [10:00]
Devotional
Day 1: Thoughtful Understanding in Marriage
In the Christian view of marriage, success is not automatic but requires thoughtful understanding and intentional effort. Many troubles in marriage arise from the assumption that love and unity will happen naturally. However, true growth in a marital relationship comes from reasoning and understanding the principles of Christ and the Church. This involves a commitment to learning and applying these principles in daily life, ensuring that both partners are actively engaged in nurturing their relationship. By reflecting on the sacrificial love of Christ, couples can strive to embody this love in their own marriages, fostering a deeper connection and unity. [03:52]
Ephesians 4:2-3 (ESV): "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
Reflection: In what ways can you intentionally seek to understand your spouse better today, and how might this understanding transform your relationship?
Day 2: The Divine Standard of Marriage
Christian marriage is distinct from worldly views, as it is rooted in the divine relationship between Christ and the Church. This positive conception of marriage calls for an idealistic approach that continually strives to reflect this heavenly pattern. It is not merely a partnership with the addition of faith but a fundamentally different relationship that mirrors the union between Christ and the Church. By aiming for this divine standard, couples can cultivate a marriage that is not only fulfilling but also a testament to their faith. This involves a commitment to love, honor, and cherish one another, seeking to embody the love of Christ in all aspects of their relationship. [09:06]
Colossians 3:14 (ESV): "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Reflection: How can you and your spouse work together to reflect the divine standard of marriage in your daily interactions and decisions?
Day 3: Unity Through Selflessness
The essence of marriage is unity, where two become one flesh. Self-centeredness disrupts this unity, leading to many of the problems faced in marriages today. The Christian approach to marriage is to submit to one another in love, reflecting the selfless relationship between Christ and the Church. This involves putting aside personal desires and focusing on the needs and well-being of one's spouse. By embracing selflessness, couples can strengthen their bond and create a harmonious and loving relationship that honors God. [12:41]
Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV): "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Reflection: What is one specific way you can practice selflessness in your marriage today, and how might this act of love impact your relationship?
Day 4: Nourishing and Cherishing Your Spouse
Husbands are called to love their wives as their own bodies, which involves active nourishment and cherishing. This means considering what pleases and strengthens the wife, ensuring her well-being and happiness. Just as one would care for their own body, husbands should be proactive in building up their spouse's resilience and well-being. This care should be intentional and consistent, aiming to create an environment where the marriage can grow and flourish over time. By prioritizing the needs of their spouse, husbands can demonstrate the love of Christ and foster a deeper connection in their marriage. [35:10]
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV): "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
Reflection: How can you actively nourish and cherish your spouse today, and what impact do you hope this will have on your relationship?
Day 5: Protecting and Supporting Your Spouse
Just as one protects their body from harm, husbands should protect their wives from life's challenges. This involves understanding their unique needs and weaknesses and providing support and care to build resilience and strength. By being attentive to the challenges their spouse faces, husbands can offer the necessary support and protection, ensuring that their marriage remains strong and resilient. This proactive approach to care and protection reflects the love of Christ and fosters a sense of security and trust within the marriage. [41:16]
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV): "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"
Reflection: What specific steps can you take today to protect and support your spouse, and how might this strengthen your marriage?
Quotes
The secret of success is to think and to understand. That is something which is surely obvious on the very surface of the passage. Nothing happens automatically in the Christian life. Now that to me is a very profound principle because I believe that most of our troubles arise from the fact that we tend to assume that they do happen automatically. [00:03:20]
The world of course views marriage like this: it first of all takes certain great things for granted. It relies upon what it calls love; it relies upon feeling. People say they have fallen in love with one another. On the strength of that, they get married. They don't stop to think and to ask questions. [00:06:24]
Christian marriage, the Christian view of marriage, is something that is essentially different from the other. And that's the thing surely which must have been emerging as we have gone on from Sunday to Sunday. So the position is not that here are two people getting married and there are two other people getting married. [00:10:00]
The real cause of failure ultimately in marriage always is self. Self and the various manifestations of self, of course, that is the cause of trouble everywhere and in every realm. Self and selfishness are the greatest disrupting forces in the world this morning. All the major problems confronting the world, whether you look at it from the standpoint of nations and statesmen or from the standpoint of industry and social conditions or whatsoever standpoint, all these troubles ultimately come back to self. [00:12:41]
The essential thing about marriage, well, he says it's this: Unity. These two, these twain, shall become one flesh. He says you must stop thinking of them as two; they're one. Therefore, any tendency to assert self immediately is breaking the fundamental conception of marriage. [00:15:09]
The husband must realize that the wife is actually a part of himself. This analogy of the body—a man's attitude, says the Apostle here, to his wife should be his attitude as it were to his body. This is an analogy, and yet it's more than an analogy. [00:21:58]
He is not to abuse her. It is possible for a man to abuse his body, isn't it? And many men do abuse their bodies by eating too much, by drinking too much, and in various other ways. That is to abuse the body, to maltreat it, to be unkind to it. [00:25:55]
No man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. Well, now here is the teaching that we not only have to realize that the husband and wife are one, but the husband must realize that the wife is actually a part of himself. [00:35:10]
Have you discovered that your wife has got some peculiar temperamental weakness? Have you discovered that she's got certain characteristics, and are you just irritated by them, and are you just annoyed by them? Is she nervous and apprehensive, or is she too outspoken? Doesn't matter which it is nor on which side. [00:41:16]
If there is some peculiar exceptional trial or anxiety or problem or something that is testing to the uttermost limit, then I say the husband is to go out of his way in order to protect his wife and help her. She is the weaker vessel. [00:42:56]
Do everything you can to build up the resistance to prepare your wife to face the hazards of life. You've got to build her up, don't you? Do everything as it were but build her up that she will be able to also, so that if you're taken away by death, she's not left stranded. [00:43:56]
A man is to love his wife even as because she is his own body. No man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the body. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church. [00:49:33]
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