Reflecting Christ: The Beauty of Marriage and Submission
Summary
In our study of 1 Peter, we delve into the profound relationship dynamics between husbands and wives, focusing on the first six verses of chapter 3. The essence of a great marriage is a living testament to the Gospel, reflecting Christ's love and the church's willing submission. A marriage that mirrors this divine relationship becomes a powerful witness to the world, while a troubled marriage can undermine the Gospel message. The call for wives to be respectful and obedient, often misunderstood, is rooted in the biblical concept of submission, which is not about inferiority but about order and harmony within the family structure.
Submission, as outlined in Scripture, is about respect and obedience, not because men are superior, but because God has ordained a structure for leadership and followership. This is evident from the order of creation, where Adam was created first and given the responsibility to lead, and Eve was created as a companion. This divine order is not about diminishing the woman's role but about establishing a framework for unity and peace.
A wife's respect and obedience are not blind or unthinking. It involves a respectful dialogue where a wife can express her concerns and wisdom, influencing her husband positively. This dynamic is beautifully illustrated in the story of Ben Hogan, who exemplified leadership by sacrificing for his wife's safety. Similarly, a wife's conduct can win over an unbelieving husband, as seen in the story of Bob Lilly, whose wife's godly behavior led him to faith.
The true beauty of a woman, as Peter emphasizes, is not in external adornment but in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. This inner beauty is precious to God and should be the focus of a woman's adornment. The discussion extends to the community's debate over dress codes, urging us to focus on the heart's condition rather than mere external appearances.
In conclusion, the call for submission is a call to reflect Christ's relationship with the church. It is about mutual respect, love, and a commitment to God's ordained order. As we strive to embody these principles, we become living examples of the Gospel, drawing others to the beauty of Christ's love and sacrifice.
Key Takeaways:
1. The Gospel in Marriage: A great marriage is a living example of the Gospel, reflecting Christ's love and the church's submission. When a marriage embodies these principles, it becomes a powerful witness to the world. Conversely, a troubled marriage can undermine the Gospel message, highlighting the importance of living out these truths in our closest relationships. [02:00]
2. Biblical Submission: Submission in marriage is not about inferiority but about order and harmony. It is rooted in the biblical concept of leadership and followership, as seen in the order of creation. This divine structure is designed to bring unity and peace, not to diminish the role of women. [07:55]
3. Respect and Obedience: A wife's respect and obedience are not blind but involve respectful dialogue and influence. A godly wife can positively impact her husband through her conduct, as seen in the story of Bob Lilly, whose wife's behavior led him to faith. [15:49]
4. Inner Beauty: True beauty is found in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God. This inner beauty should be the focus of a woman's adornment, rather than external appearances. The emphasis is on cultivating a heart that reflects God's character. [18:16]
5. Community and Discipleship: The debate over dress codes highlights the need to focus on the heart's condition rather than external appearances. As a community, we should strive to cultivate young women with loving hearts that reflect the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, preparing them to be godly wives. [21:40]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [02:00] - The Gospel in Marriage
- [07:55] - Understanding Biblical Submission
- [15:49] - Respect and Influence in Marriage
- [18:16] - The True Beauty of a Woman
- [21:40] - Community Focus on Inner Beauty
- [29:39] - Honoring Husbands
- [32:54] - Submission and Natural Abilities
- [38:54] - Closing Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- 1 Peter 3:1-6
- Genesis 3:16
- Proverbs 31:10-31
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#### Observation Questions
1. What does 1 Peter 3:1-6 say about the role of wives in marriage? How does this passage describe submission? [07:55]
2. How does the sermon illustrate the concept of leadership in marriage through the story of Ben Hogan? [07:55]
3. According to the sermon, what is the significance of a wife's conduct in winning over an unbelieving husband? [15:49]
4. What does the sermon suggest about the true beauty of a woman as described in 1 Peter 3:3-4? [18:16]
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#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the order of creation, as mentioned in Genesis, relate to the concept of submission in marriage? [07:55]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that a wife's respectful and obedient conduct can impact her husband and marriage? [15:49]
3. How does the sermon interpret the idea of "inner beauty" in the context of a woman's role in marriage? [18:16]
4. What does the sermon imply about the community's role in focusing on the heart's condition rather than external appearances? [21:40]
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#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or relationships. How can you embody the Gospel message through your interactions with your spouse or partner? [07:55]
2. Consider the concept of submission as described in the sermon. How can you practice respectful dialogue and influence in your relationships without compromising your values? [15:49]
3. The sermon emphasizes the importance of inner beauty. What steps can you take to cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit in your daily life? [18:16]
4. How can you contribute to a community that values the heart's condition over external appearances, especially in discussions about dress codes or other outward expressions? [21:40]
5. Think about a time when you had to trust someone else's leadership. How did you handle it, and what did you learn from that experience? [32:54]
6. If you are in a leadership role, how can you ensure that you are leading with love and sacrifice, as exemplified by Christ? [07:55]
7. How can you support and encourage young women in your community to focus on developing their inner beauty and character? [21:40]
Devotional
Day 1: Marriage as a Living Gospel
A great marriage serves as a living testament to the Gospel, reflecting Christ's love and the church's willing submission. When a marriage embodies these principles, it becomes a powerful witness to the world. Conversely, a troubled marriage can undermine the Gospel message, highlighting the importance of living out these truths in our closest relationships. The essence of a great marriage is not just in the love shared between husband and wife but in how that love mirrors the divine relationship between Christ and the church. This reflection of divine love and submission is a profound witness to the world, showcasing the transformative power of the Gospel in everyday life. [02:00]
Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV): "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."
Reflection: How can your marriage or closest relationships better reflect the love and submission seen in Christ's relationship with the church today?
Day 2: Divine Order in Submission
Submission in marriage is not about inferiority but about order and harmony. It is rooted in the biblical concept of leadership and followership, as seen in the order of creation. This divine structure is designed to bring unity and peace, not to diminish the role of women. The biblical concept of submission is often misunderstood, but it is about respect and obedience within the family structure. It is not a call to blind obedience but a call to harmonious living, where each person respects the God-ordained roles within the family. [07:55]
1 Corinthians 11:3 (ESV): "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."
Reflection: In what ways can you foster a spirit of unity and peace in your family by respecting the roles God has ordained?
Day 3: Influence Through Respectful Dialogue
A wife's respect and obedience are not blind but involve respectful dialogue and influence. A godly wife can positively impact her husband through her conduct, as seen in the story of Bob Lilly, whose wife's behavior led him to faith. This dynamic of influence is not about manipulation but about living out one's faith in a way that draws others to Christ. Respectful dialogue and a gentle spirit can be powerful tools in influencing those around us, especially within the family. [15:49]
1 Peter 3:1-2 (ESV): "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct."
Reflection: How can you use respectful dialogue to positively influence someone in your life today?
Day 4: Cultivating Inner Beauty
True beauty is found in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God. This inner beauty should be the focus of a woman's adornment, rather than external appearances. The emphasis is on cultivating a heart that reflects God's character. In a world that often values external appearances, the call to cultivate inner beauty is a reminder of what is truly valuable in God's eyes. This inner beauty is not only precious to God but also a powerful witness to others. [18:16]
Proverbs 31:30 (ESV): "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Reflection: What steps can you take today to cultivate the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit?
Day 5: Community Focus on Inner Beauty
The debate over dress codes highlights the need to focus on the heart's condition rather than external appearances. As a community, we should strive to cultivate young women with loving hearts that reflect the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, preparing them to be godly wives. This focus on inner beauty is not just an individual pursuit but a communal one, where we encourage and support one another in growing in godliness. [21:40]
1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV): "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'"
Reflection: How can you encourage someone in your community to focus on cultivating inner beauty today?
Quotes
Well, Peter is going to talk in verses 1-6 here about women. Men, your turn is next week. He's going to tell you next week that you are to be honoring, that you are to be gentle. But here he is going to tell the wives that they are to be respectful, that they are to be obedient, otherwise known as the S-word. Submission. Right? Lock the doors. No one leaves. [00:03:30]
The purpose for submission is that you have to have someone lead and you have to have someone follow. I don't care if it is in the home or if it's the workplace or if it's in the church or even in something as simple as a touch football game. You've got to have a quarterback. You got to have a guy that's calling out the signals in the game. [00:05:56]
Paul deal with this whenever you see him deal with submission in 1st Timothy chapter 2 1st Corinthians chapter 11 the foundation of submission and both of those texts is the order of creation did you know that God did not make Adam and Eve simultaneously from the earth otherwise there would have been quite a bit of confusion. [00:07:01]
It only means two things, ladies. It means respect, and it means obedience. Respect and obedience. And that is all that submission is. It means that you respect your husband and you respect him not only in public but in private. See if a wife is a very respectful woman they will never willingly hurt their husband in private. [00:10:39]
And by that, I mean that she will yield to the spoken word of her husband. And here's the deal. That doesn't mean that she blindly follows no matter what. When my wife, when I'm making a decision and it seems to her that I'm not making the right decision, what she will do is she will come to me and she'll go, are you sure about that? [00:12:03]
And so she tries to get me to listen to her. And she doesn't do it by raising her voice. She will do it by being respectful in the way that she does it. And when she does it in that way, because of her great wisdom, I am compelled to listen to her and what she has to say. And many a time she has changed my mind. [00:12:37]
What happens if a wife is converted in the middle of a non-Christian marriage and her husband is not a believer? Well, Peter says here that you still be subject. That you need to be poised. You need to be a great wife. Not because of how He treats you, but because God tells you to be a great wife. [00:15:31]
She so modeled godly conduct that Bob Lilly, who saw himself and was ashamed, and he realized that the hero of his life was his wife. And he followed her without a word. She didn't preach to him. She just modeled Christ-like behavior. He saw his disobedience in the light and the beauty of her conduct, and he followed her example. [00:16:42]
And the idea here is that you don't merely look at your external beauty. You are not to look merely at your hair, at your jewelry, or the dress that you wear. But in verse four, you go deeper. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with imperishable beauty. And he says imperishable there, because your looks, ladies, will all perish. [00:18:16]
And so if you have been outspoken about this, here is my question, and that is for all of you, no matter which side of this you are on. Are you fighting as hard for the hearts of these teenage girls as much as you are about the dresses that they will wear for a couple hours of their life. Are you fighting as hard for their hearts? [00:22:55]
Simon Peter knows that it is a scary thing for you to have to trust your husband sometimes it's tough to willingly place yourself under the authority of another sinner and he understood understands that but Peter tells you here ladies you be a great great wife and it's rare it's a rare evil man that will take advantage of that you trust God and don't be afraid. [00:26:17]
The one who gives all of us fellas in a room something really to follow. But wives, as your husbands try to be as much like Christ as they can be, it is your job to come alongside of Him and willingly place yourself under that leadership. Will He always deserve it? Nope, probably not. But you do it because that is what makes the home most functional. [00:36:21]
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