Rediscovering Love Through God's Unchanging Chesed
Summary
Love is a deep ache within every human heart, a longing that reflects our creation by a God who is love Himself. We crave relationships that are both safe and exciting, stable yet surprising, but our expectations often leave us disappointed. Much like the dizzying teacup ride at Disneyland, our pursuit of love can start out exhilarating but quickly become disorienting and even nauseating when life’s pressures and unmet expectations spin us out of control. This is because, apart from a deep connection with God, our experience of love becomes disordered—self-focused, conditional, and based on performance. We end up anxious, uncertain, and easily offended, always seeking affirmation and fulfillment from others who cannot ultimately satisfy our deepest needs.
The invitation is to rediscover love in connection with God, specifically the chesed love described throughout Scripture. Chesed is God’s steadfast, loyal, and merciful love—a love that is not based on our performance or reciprocation, but on His unchanging character. In the Psalms, we see that God’s chesed is as high as the heavens and that He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west. Even after humanity’s fall, God’s first question is not accusatory but relational, expressing a longing for restored connection. This is the love embodied in Jesus, who consistently loved those who betrayed, denied, and abandoned Him. His love is unoffendable, grounded in His identity and mission, and He calls us to love one another in the same way.
Our ability to love others with chesed is the true mark of our discipleship. The measure of this love is seen in how easily we are offended. When we take offense, it often reveals that we are looking to others to meet needs that only God can fulfill, or that we are believing lies about God’s goodness and provision. Instead, we are invited to bring our irritations and wounds to God, allowing Him to transform them—like an oyster turning a grain of sand into a pearl—into something beautiful and of great kingdom value. This transformation happens as we spend time with God, seeking His presence, wisdom, and healing, and as we practice releasing, forgiving, and overlooking offenses. In doing so, we become people who reflect God’s chesed love to a world in desperate need of it.
Key Takeaways
- The longing for love is rooted in our creation by a God who is love, but our pursuit of love often becomes self-focused and conditional when disconnected from Him. This leads to disappointment and anxiety, as we seek from others what only God can provide. True fulfillment in relationships begins with a deep connection to God’s love. [44:59]
- Chesed, God’s steadfast and merciful love, is not based on our performance or worthiness but on His unchanging character. Even in our failures and betrayals, God’s love remains constant, always seeking restoration and never turning away from us. This is the love we are called to receive and reflect. [50:36]
- Jesus embodies chesed love, loving consistently and unoffendably even in the face of rejection and betrayal. His example challenges us to love others not based on their actions or our feelings, but out of a secure identity rooted in God’s love. Our commitment to this kind of love is the true evidence of our discipleship. [58:20]
- Taking offense often reveals deeper issues in our hearts—unmet needs, misplaced trust, or believing lies about God’s care for us. When we look to human relationships for affirmation and fulfillment, we remain spiritually thirsty. Only by trusting in God’s sufficiency can we be free from the cycle of offense and disappointment. [01:04:05]
- Like an oyster transforming an irritant into a pearl, we are invited to see relational irritations as opportunities for growth and deeper dependence on God. By bringing our hurts to Him, seeking His wisdom, and practicing forgiveness, we allow His love to shape us into people who offer mercy and abundance to others. This is a lifelong process that requires daily time in God’s presence. [01:07:36]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[38:27] - Opening Prayer and Invitation
[39:11] - The Disneyland Teacup Ride Analogy
[40:21] - The Experience of Love in Relationships
[42:02] - When Relationships Spin Out of Control
[43:10] - The Ache for Love and Disordered Expectations
[44:59] - Created by Love, Reflecting Love
[46:57] - Reframing Relationships and Rediscovering Chesed
[48:38] - Chesed in the Psalms and God’s Heart After the Fall
[50:36] - God’s Relational Pursuit and Chesed Defined
[56:20] - Chesed Embodied in Jesus
[57:31] - The Woman at the Pharisee’s House
[58:20] - Jesus’ Unoffendable Love and the New Commandment
[59:37] - Peter’s Denial and Jesus’ Restoration
[01:01:41] - Measuring Love by Our Offendability
[01:04:05] - The Roots of Taking Offense
[01:07:36] - The Oyster and the Pearl: Transforming Irritation
[01:09:29] - Reflection and Response
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Rediscovering Chesed Love
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### Bible Reading
Psalm 103:8-12 (ESV)
> The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
John 13:34-35 (ESV)
> A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Luke 7:44-47 (ESV)
> Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”
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### Observation Questions
1. In Psalm 103, what words or phrases are used to describe God’s love and how He treats us?
2. According to John 13, what is the new commandment Jesus gives, and what is the result of obeying it?
3. In the story from Luke 7, what differences do you notice between Simon the Pharisee’s actions and the woman’s actions toward Jesus? [57:31]
4. The sermon compared our pursuit of love to a dizzying teacup ride. What aspects of relationships did this analogy highlight? [39:11]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. The sermon says our longing for love is rooted in being created by a God who is love. How does this shape the way we view our need for relationships? [44:59]
2. Chesed is described as God’s steadfast, loyal, and merciful love that isn’t based on our performance. Why is this kind of love so different from the love we often experience in human relationships? [48:38]
3. Jesus’ love is described as “unoffendable,” even when He was betrayed or denied. What does it mean for love to be unoffendable, and why is this important for followers of Jesus? [58:20]
4. The sermon suggests that taking offense often reveals deeper issues in our hearts, like unmet needs or misplaced trust. What might this reveal about our relationship with God? [01:04:05]
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### Application Questions
1. The sermon said that when we are easily offended, it can show we are looking to others to meet needs only God can fulfill. Can you think of a recent time you were offended? What deeper need or expectation might have been behind your reaction? [01:01:41]
2. Jesus calls us to love others as He has loved us—with chesed love. Is there someone in your life right now who is hard to love? What would it look like to show them steadfast, unoffendable love this week? [58:20]
3. The analogy of the oyster turning an irritant into a pearl was used to describe how God can transform our relational hurts. Is there a current “irritant” or wound in your relationships that you can bring to God for healing and transformation? What would that process look like for you? [01:07:36]
4. The sermon mentioned that true fulfillment in relationships begins with a deep connection to God’s love. What is one practical way you can seek a deeper connection with God this week—through prayer, Scripture, or another practice? [46:57]
5. When you find yourself taking offense, what steps could you take to pause, reflect, and invite God to meet your needs in that moment instead of reacting? [01:09:29]
6. The sermon gave a gentle reminder that if you are in an abusive or manipulative relationship, seeking wise counsel and help is important. If this applies to you or someone you know, what is one step you could take toward safety and support? [01:06:44]
7. Jesus’ love for Peter didn’t change even after Peter’s denial. How does knowing God’s love is unchanging affect the way you respond to your own failures or the failures of others? [59:37]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to spend a few moments in silence, asking God to reveal any areas where they need to receive His chesed love or extend it to others. Pray for the courage to love as Jesus loves, even when it’s hard.
Devotional
Day 1: God’s Chesed—Unfailing, Steadfast Love
God’s love is not conditional or based on our performance; it is a steadfast, merciful, and unfailing love that pursues us even when we fall short or wander away. This love, described by the Hebrew word “chesed,” is the foundation of our relationship with God and the model for how we are called to love others—faithfully, compassionately, and without end. No matter how far we stray or how broken we feel, God’s love remains constant, healing, and abundant, inviting us to rest in His presence and be transformed by His mercy. [48:38]
Psalm 103:8-12 (ESV)
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Reflection: Where in your life do you need to let God’s steadfast love heal your wounds or fill the places that feel cracked and sore today?
Day 2: Jesus’ Unoffendable Love
Jesus demonstrates a love that is unoffendable and consistent, loving even those who betray, deny, or abandon Him. He welcomes the outcast, forgives the sinner, and serves those who misunderstand or reject Him, showing us that true love is not swayed by others’ actions or status. This kind of love is not natural to us, but as we look to Jesus, we are invited to receive and reflect a love that is patient, forgiving, and grounded in God’s faithfulness, even when others let us down. [58:20]
John 13:34-35 (ESV)
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Reflection: Who in your life is difficult for you to love without taking offense, and how might you show them unoffendable love this week?
Day 3: Offense Reveals Our Heart’s Needs
Taking offense often reveals unmet needs or misplaced hopes in our hearts, showing where we are looking to others for affirmation, fulfillment, or security instead of trusting God’s love and provision. When we are easily offended, it may be a sign that we are not fully satisfied in God or that we are believing lies about His care for us. God invites us to bring these hurts and disappointments to Him, trusting that He sees, understands, and is able to meet every need with His unfailing love. [01:04:05]
Psalm 143:8 (ESV)
Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Reflection: When was the last time you felt offended, and what deeper need or longing might that reaction be revealing about your relationship with God?
Day 4: Transforming Irritations into Kingdom Value
Just as an oyster transforms an irritant into a pearl, we can allow the irritations and challenges in our relationships to become opportunities for growth and deeper dependence on God. Instead of reacting with resentment or bitterness, we are invited to seek God’s wisdom, wait for His response, and allow His presence to shape our hearts. Over time, these moments can produce something beautiful and valuable—love, mercy, and forgiveness that reflect God’s kingdom. [01:07:36]
James 1:2-4 (ESV)
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Reflection: What is one recent relational irritation you can reframe as an invitation to grow in love and seek God’s presence today?
Day 5: Living in the Stream of Mercy
Living in the stream of God’s mercy means daily seeking Him in Scripture, prayer, and silence, allowing His forgiveness and abundance to flow through us to others. As we release offenses, forgive, and overlook wrongs, we experience the power of God to meet all our needs and become people who give, reconcile, and love generously. This is a lifelong journey, but each day offers a new opportunity to step into the path of mercy and reflect God’s heart to the world. [01:09:29]
Micah 6:8 (ESV)
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
Reflection: How can you intentionally step into the stream of mercy today—through forgiveness, generosity, or seeking God’s presence in a specific relationship?
Quotes
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