Rediscovering God's Design for Relationships and Community

Our world is awash in questions and confusion about singleness, sex, marriage, and family. The cultural landscape has shifted dramatically, with new technologies, changing social norms, and deep debates about what it means to be human and to live in relationship. In the midst of this, the church is often divided—some voices simply echoing the culture, others clinging to outdated models that leave many people out. But the way of Jesus calls us to something deeper: a life shaped by both conviction and creativity, rooted in the Scriptures but alive to the challenges and opportunities of our own time.

Looking back at the first-century world, we see that Jesus and Paul both spoke into cultures with their own brokenness and blind spots. In Jewish society, marriage was nearly universal, but often polygamous and deeply lopsided in its expectations of men and women. Divorce was common, and debates raged about what counted as legitimate grounds for ending a marriage. Jesus, when confronted with these questions, pointed not to the lowest common denominator but to God’s original intent: a faithful, lifelong union between a man and a woman, marked by mutual commitment and love. Yet he also recognized the reality of brokenness—divorce, while never God’s ideal, is a merciful concession in the face of abuse, neglect, or unfaithfulness.

Paul, writing to the church in Corinth, addressed a Greco-Roman world where marriage was about status and control, and where men wielded near-total power over women and their households. Into this context, Paul’s teaching on mutuality in marriage—where husband and wife each have authority over the other’s body—was nothing short of revolutionary. The Christian vision of marriage and sexuality, far from being regressive, was a tidal wave of liberation, especially for women.

Today, many of the promises of sexual liberation have not delivered the flourishing they claimed. Even secular thinkers are recognizing the wisdom in the Christian vision of committed, monogamous marriage. The call of Jesus is not to stasis or nostalgia, but to a radical, countercultural way of life marked by grace, patience, and mutual upbuilding. We are invited to be a community where shame is healed, where brokenness is met with compassion, and where we help one another live out the good news—even when it’s hard, even when it goes against the grain.

Key Takeaways

• 1. The way of Jesus is neither a simple mirror of culture nor a retreat into nostalgia. Instead, it calls for fresh conviction and creativity, rooted in Scripture but responsive to the unique questions of our time. We are invited to imagine new ways of faithfulness that honor both God’s design and the realities of our cultural moment. [06:31]
• 2. God’s vision for marriage is a faithful, lifelong union marked by mutual commitment and love. Yet, God is also merciful and realistic about human brokenness—divorce is permitted in cases of abuse, neglect, abandonment, or unfaithfulness, not as an ideal but as a concession to hard hearts. This balance of high calling and deep compassion reflects God’s own heart toward us. [24:32]
• 3. The Christian teaching on marriage and sexuality was radically countercultural in the ancient world, especially in its insistence on the equality and mutuality of men and women. Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7, giving wives authority over their husbands’ bodies, upended both Greco-Roman and Jewish norms and laid the groundwork for the dignity and equality we often take for granted today. [37:17]
• 4. The sexual revolution promised liberation and equality, but in many ways has failed to deliver true flourishing, especially for women. Even secular voices are now recognizing the wisdom in the Christian vision of monogamous, committed marriage as a context for mutual honor and the raising of children. The old wisdom of Jesus is being rediscovered as truly good news. [41:51]
• 5. True community is essential for living out the way of Jesus in these areas. We all carry wounds and shame, and only in a gracious, patient, and supportive community can we find healing and the courage to pursue faithfulness. Our commitment to one another makes the radical way of Jesus plausible and possible in a world that often pulls us in other directions. [10:26]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:33] - Introducing the Series: Singleness, Sex, Marriage, and Family
• [01:51] - Cultural Shifts and New Questions
• [03:44] - The Church’s Divided Response
• [05:56] - Learning from Christian History
• [07:11] - Sensitivity and Grace in Difficult Topics
• [09:06] - God’s Guidance Leads to Flourishing
• [11:09] - First Century Jewish Context: Marriage and Divorce
• [13:51] - Old Testament Foundations for Marriage
• [18:52] - The Debate Over “Any Cause” Divorce
• [22:02] - Jesus’ Teaching on Marriage and Divorce
• [27:43] - God’s Compassion for Painful Marriages
• [31:35] - Greco-Roman Context: Status, Power, and Marriage
• [35:58] - Paul’s Revolutionary Teaching on Mutuality
• [39:53] - The Sexual Revolution and Its Consequences
• [41:51] - Rediscovering the Wisdom of Monogamous Marriage
• [45:02] - Creating a Gracious, Supportive Community
• [46:17] - Closing Prayer and Communion

Bible Reading

Matthew 19:3-9 (ESV) — > And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

1 Corinthians 7:2-5 (ESV) — > But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Observation Questions

1. In Matthew 19, what question do the Pharisees ask Jesus, and how does he respond regarding the purpose and permanence of marriage? ([22:02])
2. According to the sermon, what were the main reasons for divorce allowed in the Old Testament, and how did Jesus address these in his teaching? ([16:20])
3. In 1 Corinthians 7, what does Paul say about the authority husbands and wives have over each other’s bodies? How was this different from the cultural norms of his day? ([36:39])
4. The sermon mentions that the Christian vision for marriage and sexuality was “a tidal wave of liberation, especially for women.” What specific teaching of Paul does the pastor highlight as revolutionary? ([37:17])

Interpretation Questions

1. Why does Jesus point back to Genesis when asked about divorce, instead of simply answering the Pharisees’ question? What does this reveal about God’s intent for marriage? ([22:02])
2. The sermon describes divorce as a “merciful concession” in cases of abuse, neglect, abandonment, or unfaithfulness. How does this balance God’s high calling for marriage with compassion for human brokenness? ([24:32])
3. Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7 gives both husband and wife authority over each other’s bodies. How might this have challenged both Jewish and Greco-Roman expectations about marriage and gender roles? ([36:39])
4. The sermon claims that the sexual revolution promised liberation but has not delivered true flourishing, especially for women. What reasons are given for this, and how does the Christian vision offer a different kind of “good news”? ([41:51])

Application Questions

1. The sermon says, “The way of Jesus is neither a simple mirror of culture nor a retreat into nostalgia.” In your own life, where do you feel pressure to either conform to cultural norms or to hold onto old models that may not fit today’s challenges? How can you seek “fresh conviction and creativity” in these areas? ([06:31])
2. If God’s vision for marriage is a faithful, lifelong union marked by mutual commitment and love, but also allows for divorce in cases of serious harm, how does this shape the way you view your own relationships or the way you support others going through marital struggles? ([24:32])
3. Paul’s teaching on mutuality in marriage was radically countercultural. Are there ways in your own relationships—marriage, dating, friendship, or family—where you need to practice more mutuality, respect, or self-giving? What would that look like this week? ([37:17])
4. The sermon highlights that “true community is essential for living out the way of Jesus in these areas.” Do you have people in your life who help you pursue faithfulness in singleness, sex, or marriage? If not, what steps could you take to build that kind of supportive community? ([10:26])
5. The pastor mentions that “we all carry wounds and shame, and only in a gracious, patient, and supportive community can we find healing.” Is there an area of shame or brokenness in your life related to these topics that you need to bring into the light? What would it look like to take a first step toward healing? ([10:26])
6. The sermon points out that even secular voices are rediscovering the wisdom of committed, monogamous marriage. How does this encourage or challenge you in your own view of relationships? ([41:51])
7. The pastor says, “Our commitment to one another makes the radical way of Jesus plausible and possible in a world that often pulls us in other directions.” What is one practical way you can encourage someone else in your group or community to live out the way of Jesus in these areas this week? ([10:26])