Redefining Masculinity: Following the Example of Jesus

Summary

Every man carries a definition of what it means to be a man—sometimes consciously, sometimes inherited from family, culture, or society. These scripts shape our expectations, our judgments of ourselves and others, and even the burdens we carry when we feel we don’t measure up. Yet, when we look honestly at the shifting standards of masculinity across generations and cultures, it becomes clear that these definitions are not as self-evident or universal as we might assume. What was considered masculine a thousand years ago, or even in another family or culture today, can be vastly different from what we experience or expect now.

In the midst of all these competing scripts, there is an invitation to look to Jesus of Nazareth as the model for true masculinity. Not the sanitized or culturally filtered versions of Jesus we sometimes imagine, but the real, flesh-and-blood Jesus who lived, worked, wept, confronted injustice, and loved deeply. John, one of Jesus’ closest friends—a rugged fisherman by trade—described Jesus as the embodiment of the “Logos,” the very wisdom, virtue, and justice that philosophers longed for but could never quite define. In Jesus, these ideals became flesh and walked among us, lighting the path for every man.

Following Jesus does not mean becoming less of a man or fitting into a narrow mold. Instead, it means embracing a script that transcends culture and time—a script marked by forgiveness, self-control, compassion, courage, and a willingness to fight the right battles: not against others, but against our own appetites and insecurities. It’s a script that calls us to elevate others, to celebrate their successes, to use our resources for the good of others, and to seek greatness not in dominance, but in service.

This way of living is not something we can achieve in our own strength. It requires the humility to admit our weakness and the courage to invite God’s Spirit to shape us. Whether you’re a man who loves the outdoors or the arts, who drives a truck or a minivan, the invitation is the same: to let Jesus be the light that guides your path, making you a better man, husband, father, and friend. This is a journey worth considering, no matter where you stand with faith today.

Key Takeaways

- Every man lives by a script of masculinity, often inherited from family, culture, or society, but these scripts are not universal or unchanging. Recognizing the fluidity of these definitions frees us from the pressure to conform to standards that may not fit who we are or who God calls us to be. True masculinity is not about rigid roles, but about seeking a higher, lasting standard. [04:15]

- Jesus of Nazareth is presented as the ultimate model for manhood—not a distant, ethereal figure, but God in the flesh who embodied virtue, courage, compassion, and truth. In Him, the ideals that humanity has longed for—wisdom, justice, and love—are made tangible and accessible. Looking to Jesus as our script means we have a guide who transcends culture and time, offering a way of life that is both strong and gentle. [22:31]

- The script Jesus modeled is radically different from the scripts handed down by culture: it calls men to forgive without being asked, to return good for evil, to honor women, to celebrate others’ successes, and to use their resources for the benefit of others. This script is not about dominance or self-promotion, but about self-control, humility, and elevating others. It challenges men to be more concerned with their own character than with controlling others. [33:00]

- True strength is found not in outward displays of power, but in the willingness to confront our own appetites and insecurities. The real fight is internal: bringing the battle to the places in our hearts that resist God’s way. Success, in the way of Jesus, is measured by doing the will of the Father, not by the world’s standards of achievement or recognition. [37:21]

- No man can live out this script in his own strength. The journey requires humility to admit our need, vulnerability to expose our weakness, and dependence on the Spirit of God. As we do, we become the kind of men our families, friends, and communities need—men who are shaped by the light of Christ, not by the shifting shadows of culture. [38:18]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[02:07] - Every Man’s Definition of Masculinity
[04:15] - The Inherited Script and Its Impact
[07:36] - When the Script Doesn’t Fit
[08:32] - Masculinity and Femininity as Cultural Constructs
[10:20] - Changing Standards Across Time
[12:16] - Images of Jesus and Our Expectations
[14:37] - Which Jesus Are We Following?
[15:40] - The Invitation to Follow Jesus
[17:02] - John’s Experience: A Man’s Man Meets Jesus
[18:52] - The Logos: God’s Wisdom in Flesh
[22:31] - Jesus as the Light and Model for Men
[25:13] - Lostness and the Search for Direction
[29:16] - Jesus: The Light of Men
[31:19] - What Following Jesus Looks Like
[33:00] - The Script of Jesus: Practical Examples
[35:00] - Control, Courage, and Timing
[36:40] - The Real Fight: Appetites and Insecurities
[38:18] - Strength in Weakness and the Need for the Spirit
[39:44] - The Invitation to All Men
[41:10] - Prayer and Closing

Study Guide

Small Group Bible Study Guide: “The Script for Men: Looking to Jesus”

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### Bible Reading

John 1:1-5, 14
> In the beginning was the Word (Logos), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it...
> The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

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### Observation Questions

1. According to John 1, what does it mean that Jesus is the “Logos” and the “light of men”? How does John describe Jesus’ presence and impact? [22:31]
2. The sermon mentioned that every man inherits a “script” of masculinity from family, culture, or society. What are some examples of these scripts that were discussed? [04:15]
3. What are some specific ways Jesus modeled manhood differently than the cultural expectations of his time, as described in the sermon? [33:00]
4. In the passage from John, what does it mean that “the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us”? Why is this important for understanding Jesus as a model for men? [22:31]

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think John chose the word “Logos” to describe Jesus? What does this say about the kind of wisdom, virtue, and justice Jesus embodied? [18:52]
2. The sermon says that the scripts of masculinity change across cultures and generations. How does looking to Jesus as a model help men avoid the pressure to fit into these shifting standards? [10:20]
3. The sermon lists several ways Jesus’ script is different—like forgiving without being asked, returning good for evil, and honoring women. Why are these actions considered signs of true strength and manhood in the way of Jesus? [33:00]
4. The speaker said, “No man can live out this script in his own strength.” What does it look like to depend on God’s Spirit for this journey, and why is humility so important? [38:18]

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### Application Questions

1. Think about the “script” of masculinity you inherited from your family or culture. In what ways has it shaped your expectations of yourself or others? Are there parts of that script that don’t fit who you are or who God calls you to be? [04:15]
2. The sermon challenges men to forgive without being asked and to return good for evil. Is there a specific relationship or situation in your life where you could practice this kind of forgiveness or kindness this week? What would it look like? [33:00]
3. Jesus honored women and celebrated others’ successes. Are there ways you can intentionally honor or encourage someone in your life this week—especially someone you might usually overlook or compete with? [33:00]
4. The real fight, according to the sermon, is against our own appetites and insecurities. What is one appetite or insecurity you struggle with? What would it look like to “bring the fight” to that area this week, with God’s help? [37:21]
5. The sermon says true greatness is found in serving others, not in dominance or self-promotion. What is one practical way you can use your resources, time, or influence to serve someone else this week? [33:00]
6. The speaker admitted he can’t live out Jesus’ script in his own strength. Where do you feel weak or inadequate as a man, husband, father, or friend? How can you invite God’s Spirit into that area and ask for help? [38:18]
7. The invitation is for every man, no matter his interests or background, to let Jesus be the light that guides his path. What is one step you can take this week to let Jesus shape your definition of manhood? [39:44]

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God for the humility to admit your need, the courage to invite His Spirit to shape you, and the wisdom to know which area of your life He wants to work on this week.

Devotional

Day 1: Jesus as the True Script for Masculinity
True masculinity is modeled in the life and character of Jesus.

In a world where definitions of masculinity shift with culture, family, and time, it’s easy to feel lost or pressured by expectations that don’t fit who you are. But there is a script that transcends all cultures and generations: the life of Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus embodied strength and gentleness, courage and compassion, truth and grace. He was not a distant ideal but a real man who walked, worked, wept, and loved deeply. His life lights the path for every man, showing a way to live that is authentic, fearless, and full of purpose. No matter your background or personality, following Jesus offers a script that leads to true manhood and a life that matters. [18:52]

John 1:1-5, 14 (ESV)
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. ... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Reflection: What is one expectation of masculinity you’ve inherited that doesn’t fit who you are? How might looking to Jesus as your model free you from that pressure today?


Day 2: The Light of Jesus Guides Men Out of Lostness
Jesus’ life is the light that shows men the way when they feel lost.

There are times when life feels confusing, empty, or directionless—when you’re not sure what it means to be a man, a husband, a father, or a friend. Culture often tells men to “man up” and handle it alone, but Jesus offers a different way. His life is the light that shines in our darkness, exposing what’s hidden but also guiding us forward with hope. In Him, you find a new way to live, love, and respond to the world—a way that brings clarity, purpose, and peace even when everything else feels uncertain. [29:16]

John 1:4-5 (ESV)
In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

Reflection: When have you felt “lost” in life? What would it look like to invite Jesus’ light into that area and let Him guide your next step?


Day 3: Following Jesus Means Embracing a New Script
To follow Jesus is to adopt His script: forgiveness, self-control, and valuing others.

The script Jesus modeled for men is radically different from what the world often teaches. It’s a script where you forgive without being asked, return good for evil, honor women, leave revenge to God, celebrate others’ successes, and use your resources for the benefit of others. It’s about controlling yourself rather than others, knowing when to stand up and when to turn the other cheek, and being more concerned with defending others than yourself. This script is not about weakness but about true strength—strength that comes from God and is lived out in everyday choices. [33:00]

Luke 6:27-31 (ESV)
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

Reflection: Which part of Jesus’ script—like forgiving, celebrating others, or self-control—do you find most challenging? What is one step you can take today to practice it?


Day 4: True Strength Is Found in Dependence on God
Real strength comes from admitting weakness and relying on God’s Spirit.

Trying to live out the script of Jesus in your own strength is impossible. The call to love, forgive, and serve like Jesus is more than any man can do alone. But Jesus invites you to bring your weakness to Him and to others, finding strength not in self-reliance but in the Spirit of God. This kind of vulnerability is not weakness—it’s the foundation of true strength. When you admit you can’t do it on your own, you open yourself to the power and help that only God can give, becoming the man your family and community truly need. [38:18]

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Reflection: Where do you feel “not enough” as a man? Can you bring that weakness honestly to God and ask for His strength today?


Day 5: Success Is Doing the Will of the Father
Success is measured by doing God’s will, not by worldly standards.

The world offers many scripts for success—power, possessions, status, or control—but Jesus redefines success as doing the will of the Father. It’s about fighting the real battles: your appetites and insecurities, not just external challenges. It’s about ending each day with a clear conscience before God and others, and measuring greatness by how you elevate and serve those around you. This kind of success is lasting and life-giving, shaping you into a better man, husband, and father, and leaving a legacy that matters. [37:21]

Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Reflection: What is one area where you’ve been measuring success by the world’s standards? How can you shift your focus today to seeking God’s will above all else?

Quotes

He was powerful and he was gentle. He was strong and he was kind. He was fearless and he was compassionate. And John says in that Jesus, God in the flesh here on this earth, in him was life. And that life was the light of men. In other words, his life, it modeled for us. It lit the path for every single man on the planet. It lit the path the path of how we are to live our lives. It showed us the way. [00:24:55] (00:00:34 seconds) Edit Clip

And in the end, that light, John would tell you that light, he walked that light into the darkness of Jerusalem, knowing that there would be men there who would intend to snuff out that light. And for a very short period, that light was snuffed out. But then John says it wasn't because the darkness has not overcome it. The light won, the darkness lost. [00:30:43] (00:00:26 seconds) Edit Clip

If you want the script that Jesus modeled for all men as man in this world, then a man who chooses the script of Jesus is a man who forgives regardless without being asked. It's a man who refuses to return evil for evil, but looks for an opportunity to return good for evil. Why? Because that's what your heavenly father, that's what Jesus did and does for you. [00:32:38] (00:00:37 seconds) Edit Clip

A man who embraces the script of Jesus in his life is a man who understands that lust turns a woman into an object. That lust turns a woman into an object that is just there to be used and discarded. So if you are using a woman and discarding her or not valuing her as she deserves to be valued, then you're not being a man who follows the script of Jesus because you are dishonoring her as a person that is valued, highly valued by her King. [00:33:15] (00:00:31 seconds) Edit Clip

A man who follows the script of Jesus in his life is a man who is more concerned with controlling himself than controlling the people around him, and I think this is such a big one in our culture today. I see so many men. Control is such an issue for us men. We want to be in control, but interestingly, we want to be in control of other people so much more than our desire to control ourselves and our own behaviors. [00:35:00] (00:00:27 seconds) Edit Clip

A man who follows the script of Jesus is a man who knows when it's time to turn over tables and when it's time to turn the other cheek. And in my experience, and perhaps your experience, I think nearly every man on the planet right now, or at least in our culture, needs to be better at figuring out the timing of both of these things. [00:35:31] (00:00:20 seconds) Edit Clip

A man who follows the script of Jesus is a man who is more inclined to defend the rights of others than his own. It's a man who will speak the truth regardless of the consequences. And it's a man who is angered by the mistreatment of others. [00:36:16] (00:00:18 seconds) Edit Clip

When you decide to take on the script of masculinity that Jesus modeled for us, you will be a man who is willing to bring the fight. And us men, sometimes we love to fight. We love to have a cause. We love to have something that we are fighting for. We love to have something that we are fighting against. But when you're following the script of Jesus, it's a man who's willing to bring the fight to his two primary enemies every day, his appetites and his insecurities. [00:37:01] (00:00:31 seconds) Edit Clip

I cannot love like Jesus. I cannot have joy like Jesus. I cannot have peace or patience or kindness or goodness or faithfulness or gentleness or self -control like Jesus apart from Jesus. And if you're here today and you realize like I have realized that I am not enough, I cannot do it on my own apart from the...the Spirit, without the help of the Spirit of God in my life, then I believe John would invite you, and Peter would invite you, and Matthew would invite you, and James, the brother of Jesus, would invite you. [00:37:57] (00:00:31 seconds) Edit Clip

So, what does it mean to be a man? What is actual true masculinity? The men and the women who were with Jesus were convinced that the answer would be found in Jesus of Nazareth, who John said was the light of men, that lights the way for men. And if you follow Jesus, we will not all be the same cookie -cutter, you know, exactly identical type men. But we will be better men, better husbands, better fathers. And I think that's worth considering. [00:39:48] (00:00:33 seconds) Edit Clip