Redefining Masculinity: Embracing Humility and Servanthood

Summary

Today’s focus is on men—especially fathers—but the truths explored are relevant to everyone. Each of us, whether we realize it or not, has inherited a script for what it means to be a man. These scripts are shaped by our families, cultures, and the times we live in. They feel intuitive and natural, but they are often just handed down expectations, not necessarily rooted in truth. Sometimes these definitions fit us well, but often they don’t, leaving many men feeling pressure to “man up” or prove themselves according to someone else’s standard.

Masculinity, like femininity, is largely a social and cultural construct. What one culture or era considers “manly” might be seen as immoral or even ridiculous in another. The example of Genghis Khan—whose culture expected him to father as many children as possible—shows how dramatically these definitions can shift. Our own scripts may seem normal, but they are just as much a product of our environment as anyone else’s.

Most definitions of manhood focus on external achievements—success, strength, providing for a family—or internal qualities like character and growth. If the script fits, we wear it easily; if not, we struggle, strive, or eventually give up. Many men feel the constant need to prove themselves, especially to their fathers or other significant figures.

In the midst of all these competing scripts, Jesus offers a radically different model. Some may see Jesus as meek and mild, while others are drawn to the more forceful images of King David or the apocalyptic “Revelation Jesus.” But the truest picture of masculinity is found in Jesus of Nazareth—the one who, though he had all power, chose humility, sacrifice, and servanthood. In his final act, Jesus did not save himself, but gave himself up for others. At the intersection of lion and lamb, we see perfect masculinity: courage and humility, strength and self-sacrifice.

The daily battle for every man is not to assert himself or fight for his own interests, but to say “no” to self and “yes” to others. This is the script Jesus modeled and invites us to follow. Passing on this script to our sons and modeling it for our daughters is the way forward. Following Jesus doesn’t make us all the same, but it does make us better men, better husbands, better fathers, and better friends.

Key Takeaways

- The scripts we inherit about masculinity are deeply shaped by family, culture, and history, often feeling so natural that we rarely question them. Yet, these scripts are not absolute truths—they are learned, reinforced, and sometimes even forced upon us, and may not fit who we truly are. Recognizing the source of our script is the first step toward living with greater authenticity and freedom. [05:15]

- Masculinity is not a fixed, universal standard; it is a social and cultural construct that changes across time and place. What one generation or culture celebrates as “manly” may be rejected by another, reminding us to be cautious about whom we allow to define our identity. True manhood cannot be measured by external achievements or cultural expectations alone. [11:11]

- Jesus redefines masculinity not through dominance or self-assertion, but through humility, sacrifice, and servanthood. His refusal to save himself on the cross, when he had every right and power to do so, reveals that real strength is found in putting others first—even at great personal cost. The intersection of lion-like courage and lamb-like humility is where true manhood is found. [29:30]

- The daily battle for men is not about proving ourselves or living up to someone else’s expectations, but about denying ourselves for the sake of others. This battle is fought in every arena of life—at home, at work, with friends, and in solitude—and requires both courage and humility. Saying “no” to self and “yes” to others is the essence of following Jesus’ script for masculinity. [30:40]

- Passing on the script of Jesus to the next generation is the most important legacy a man can leave. Modeling humility, self-sacrifice, and servant leadership for our sons and daughters shapes their expectations and understanding of what it means to be a man. Following Jesus’ example doesn’t erase our uniqueness, but it does make us better men, husbands, fathers, and friends. [32:45]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[02:41] - The Universal Decision: Defining Masculinity
[05:15] - Scripts We Inherit: Family and Culture
[07:20] - Masculinity as a Social Construct
[09:51] - Genghis Khan and Shifting Standards
[11:11] - Where Did Your Script Come From?
[12:13] - My Script: Lessons from My Father
[13:58] - External and Internal Measures of Manhood
[14:54] - The Pressure to Prove Ourselves
[16:59] - Jesus and the Stereotypes of Masculinity
[17:59] - Revelation Jesus vs. Gospel Jesus
[19:28] - Rewriting the Crucifixion: Our Fantasies
[20:25] - Jesus’ True Response to Power
[21:32] - Which Script Will You Follow?
[23:20] - The Example of Jesus of Nazareth
[25:37] - Lion and Lamb: The Final Act of Jesus
[28:28] - The Mockery of True Manhood
[29:30] - Jesus Redefines Strength
[30:40] - The Daily Battle: Saying No to Self
[32:45] - Passing on the Script of Jesus
[35:14] - Becoming Better Men, Husbands, and Fathers
[36:10] - Laying Down Old Scripts
[38:26] - Closing Prayer and Invitation

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: “Modern Men and Our Ancient Scripts”

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### Bible Reading

1. Philippians 2:5-8
_“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”_

2. Luke 23:35-37
_“The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, ‘He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.’ The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, ‘If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.’”_

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### Observation Questions

1. According to the sermon, what are some of the ways our families and cultures have shaped our understanding of what it means to be a man?
[[05:15]]

2. What did Jesus do on the cross that was different from what people expected a “real man” or “king” to do?
[[29:30]]

3. In Philippians 2, what does Paul say about how Jesus used his power and position?
[[32:45]]

4. What are some examples from the sermon of how different cultures or times have defined masculinity?
[[09:51]]

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think Jesus chose not to save himself on the cross, even though he had the power to do so? What does this say about his definition of strength?
[[29:30]]

2. The sermon says that masculinity is a “social and cultural construct.” How does this idea challenge or affirm what you’ve believed about being a man?
[[07:20]]

3. According to Philippians 2, what does it mean to have the “mindset of Christ” as a man? How is this different from the scripts we inherit from family or culture?
[[32:45]]

4. The pastor described the “daily battle” as saying “no” to self and “yes” to others. Why is this so difficult, and what does it reveal about our hearts?
[[30:40]]

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### Application Questions

1. Take a moment to think about the “script” you were handed about what it means to be a man. Who or what shaped it most in your life—family, culture, friends, media? How has that script helped or hurt you?
[[05:15]]

2. Are there parts of your inherited script for masculinity that don’t fit who you are or don’t line up with Jesus’ example? What are they, and how do you feel about letting them go?
[[36:10]]

3. The sermon says that many men feel pressure to “prove themselves,” especially to their fathers or other important people. Can you relate to this? How has this pressure shown up in your life, and what would it look like to lay it down?
[[14:54]]

4. Jesus modeled both courage (lion) and humility (lamb). Which of these comes more naturally to you, and which is harder? What is one specific way you could practice the harder one this week?
[[25:37]]

5. The “daily battle” is to say “no” to self and “yes” to others. Think of a recent situation at home, work, or with friends where you faced this choice. How did you respond, and what might you do differently next time?
[[30:40]]

6. If you have children, what script are you passing on to your sons or modeling for your daughters? What is one change you want to make in how you talk about or live out manhood in your family?
[[32:45]]

7. The pastor said that following Jesus doesn’t make us all the same, but it does make us better men, husbands, fathers, and friends. What is one area of your life where you want to become “better” by following Jesus’ script?
[[35:14]]

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to pray for courage to lay down old scripts and to follow Jesus’ example of humility, sacrifice, and servant leadership in their daily lives.

Devotional

Day 1: The Scripts We Inherit: Masculinity as a Cultural Construct
Every man carries a script of masculinity handed down by family, culture, or society—often without realizing it. These scripts shape our expectations, behaviors, and even our sense of worth, yet they are not always aligned with who we truly are or who God calls us to be. The challenge is to recognize that much of what we believe about being a man is learned and reinforced by those around us, and to ask ourselves whether these definitions truly reflect God’s heart or simply echo the voices of our upbringing and environment. This week, begin to examine the script you’ve inherited and consider where it may be at odds with the way of Jesus. [11:11]

Colossians 2:8 (ESV)
"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ."

Reflection: What is one belief or expectation about being a man that you inherited from your family or culture? How might you begin to question whether it truly reflects the way of Jesus?


Day 2: The Battle Within: The Courage of a Lion, the Humility of a Lamb
True masculinity is not about aggression or dominance, but about the daily battle to say no to self and yes to others. The cross of Jesus illustrates the ultimate fight—not against others, but against our own desires for self-preservation and self-interest. Every day, in every context, men are invited to display both the courage to stand firm and the humility to put others first, following the example of Jesus who refused to save himself so that he could save others. This is the ongoing, unseen battle that defines real strength and manhood. [30:40]

Luke 9:23 (ESV)
"And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'"

Reflection: Where in your life today do you sense the battle between your own desires and the call to put others first? What would it look like to choose humility and courage in that situation?


Day 3: Jesus as the True Script for Masculinity
Regardless of personality, temperament, or background, the best and truest picture of what it means to be a man is found in Jesus. He was both the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God, entering his final battle not to conquer others, but to lay down his life for them. Jesus’ example challenges and often contradicts the scripts we have received, inviting us to model our lives after his sacrificial love, humility, and strength. When we follow Jesus’ script, we become better men, fathers, husbands, and friends—not by conforming to sameness, but by embodying his character in our unique lives. [26:57]

John 13:14-15 (ESV)
"If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you."

Reflection: In what specific way can you model Jesus’ humility and servant-heartedness to someone in your life this week?


Day 4: Power in Humility: The Example of Christ
Jesus, though fully God, never used his power for his own advantage. Instead, he humbled himself, becoming obedient even to death on a cross. The apostle Paul reminds us that true strength is found in humility and servanthood, not in asserting our own way. As men, we are invited to follow this posture in all our relationships, trusting that humility is not weakness but the very power of God at work in us. [35:14]

Philippians 2:5-8 (ESV)
"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

Reflection: Is there a relationship or situation where you have been tempted to use your position or strength for your own benefit? How can you choose the way of humility and service instead?


Day 5: Passing on the Script of Jesus
The script you choose to follow and model will shape not only your life, but also the lives of your children and those who look up to you. The call is to lay down any definition of manhood that conflicts with the posture, tone, and approach of Jesus, and to intentionally pass on his script to the next generation. This means being willing to let go of old patterns and to courageously embrace the way of Christ, trusting that following him makes us better men and leaves a legacy worth imitating. [32:45]

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (ESV)
"And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

Reflection: What is one practical way you can model and teach the script of Jesus to your children or to someone you influence this week?

Quotes

Because I believe that regardless of the way that you are wired, regardless of the way that, of what comes natural to you, regardless of the script that you were handed, I believe that we find the best picture of what it means to be a man, of what it means to be masculine in Jesus. And that's not, I don't say that because I think we all need to become like, you know, carbon copy versions of something and all look and talk and act and behave exactly the same. But I say that because when, when we follow Jesus and when we look to that version of Jesus that we find in the gospels that these men and women tell us all about, we will become better men. We will become better fathers. We will become better husbands. [00:24:33] (00:00:50 seconds) Edit Clip

King David, who was a warrior, right? He was a giant killer. King David was the kind of guy that would come off these battlefields covered in the blood of his own enemies. Contrast that with Jesus, who in his final big battle comes away from that battle covered in his own blood. [00:25:34] (00:00:23 seconds) Edit Clip

One of the descriptions, the descriptors that we have of Jesus is that he was the Lion of Judah. He's the Lion of Judah, who in the end, in his final battle, he entered into Jerusalem, into the lion's den of Jerusalem, not as a lion, but as the Lamb of God. Jesus, I believe in his final act, defined what it really, truly means to be a man. [00:25:58] (00:00:34 seconds) Edit Clip

In the last act of Jesus, that's where we find the best way forward for all of us. Jesus told us, he said that at one point in his ministry, he said, when I'm lifted up, when I get lifted up, he's referring to his crucifixion. When I get lifted up, I'm going to draw all men, regardless of what they're like, regardless of their interests, their temperaments, their personalities, any of it. I'm going to draw all men unto me when I get lifted up on that cross. There's nothing meek. There's nothing mild, gentle, or soft there. [00:27:38] (00:00:33 seconds) Edit Clip

There's an assumption there that he was not able to save himself. But in the ultimate picture, the ultimate definition of what it really means to be a man, Jesus refused to save himself. Because if he had, if Jesus had saved himself, he would have given up his opportunity to save you and to save me and to save those Roman soldiers and to save those religious leaders and to save your family and to save the world. [00:29:44] (00:00:34 seconds) Edit Clip

By refusing to pursue his own interests and to pursue himself, by refusing to do for himself what he could have done in that moment. And what the, think about this, what the religious leaders, the rulers and the soldiers would have done for themselves if they had been in the same situation. By refusing to save himself, Jesus defined what it actually means to be a man. He ended up winning a fight. That all the other people there were not even aware it was being fought. [00:30:18] (00:00:28 seconds) Edit Clip

At the intersection of lion and lamb, we have the perfect, we see perfect masculinity on display. The cross, the crucifixion of Jesus illustrates, think about this, it illustrates the battle that every single one of us in this room, whether you're a man or a woman, but especially us men, it illustrates the battle that every single one of us are fighting every single day. [00:30:46] (00:00:27 seconds) Edit Clip

So today, if you're here today and you are a Jesus follower, or maybe you're considering what it would mean to follow Jesus. Maybe you're attempting to follow Jesus. Your script for masculinity is Jesus. That's the script that you need to pass on to your sons. That's the script that you need to model as a man for your daughters. The script of Jesus. [00:32:25] (00:00:31 seconds) Edit Clip