Redefining Love: God's Blueprint for Relationships

Devotional

Day 1: The Distortion of Love by Society

In today's world, love is often portrayed through a lens that emphasizes finding the "right person" and falling in love based on chemistry and physical attraction. This perspective, heavily influenced by societal norms and media, can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when the initial feelings of love fade. In contrast, God's design for relationships is rooted in sacrificial love and commitment, as outlined in Ephesians 5. This approach encourages individuals to serve and love one another as Christ loves us, focusing on a deeper, more meaningful connection that transcends fleeting emotions. [38:20]

Ephesians 5:1-2 (ESV): "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Reflection: How have societal norms influenced your understanding of love and relationships? What steps can you take to align your perspective with God's design for love?

Day 2: Identity and Fulfillment in Christ

Our identity and fulfillment should come from God, not from another person. By establishing a strong relationship with God, we become whole and healthy individuals, capable of engaging in relationships that are not about completing each other but about serving one another. This understanding shifts the focus from seeking validation and completion in another person to finding true contentment and purpose in Christ. When we are grounded in our identity in Christ, we can approach relationships with a heart of service and love, reflecting God's love to those around us. [50:46]

Colossians 2:9-10 (ESV): "For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority."

Reflection: In what ways do you seek fulfillment from others instead of God? How can you deepen your relationship with Christ to find your true identity and fulfillment?

Day 3: Walking in Love with Sacrificial Commitment

Instead of falling in love, we are called to walk in love, which involves sacrificial commitment and providing what the other person needs most, even when it's least deserved. This reflects the way God loves us and is essential for a lasting marriage. Walking in love means choosing to serve and support your partner, even in challenging times, and prioritizing their needs above your own. This selfless approach to love fosters a strong, enduring relationship that mirrors the love Christ has for us. [54:28]

1 John 3:16 (ESV): "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers."

Reflection: How can you practice sacrificial love in your relationships today? What specific actions can you take to prioritize your partner's needs?

Day 4: Centering Hopes and Dreams on God

Our hopes and dreams should be centered on God rather than another person. By seeking to please God first, we naturally create healthier relationships that are not based on comparison or competition but on mutual service and love. This shift in focus allows us to serve our partners selflessly and build a marriage that reflects God's love. When our aspirations are aligned with God's will, we experience a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment in our relationships. [55:57]

Psalm 37:4-5 (ESV): "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."

Reflection: What are some hopes and dreams you have placed on others instead of God? How can you realign these aspirations to be centered on God's will?

Day 5: Personal Growth and Change in Relationships

In relationships, the focus should be on personal growth and change rather than trying to change the other person. By asking God to transform us, we can better serve and love our partners, leading to stronger and more fulfilling relationships. This approach encourages self-reflection and a willingness to grow in Christ, allowing us to become the best version of ourselves for those we love. As we seek personal transformation, we create an environment where love and understanding can flourish. [01:01:20]

2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV): "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."

Reflection: What areas of personal growth do you need to focus on in your relationships? How can you invite God to transform you in these areas?

Sermon Summary

In today's message, we embarked on a new series titled "Fine Line," focusing on the complexities of marriage and relationships. We explored how societal norms and media have distorted our understanding of love, marriage, and relationships, often leading us to adopt a worldly perspective that prioritizes finding the "right person" and falling in love based on chemistry and physical attraction. This approach, often glamorized by Hollywood, sets unrealistic expectations and can lead to disappointment and broken relationships when the initial feelings of love fade.

We contrasted this with God's design for relationships, which is rooted in the teachings of Ephesians 5. God's way emphasizes being imitators of Christ, walking in love, and building relationships on a foundation of sacrificial love and commitment. This involves understanding that our identity and fulfillment come from God, not from another person. By focusing on becoming whole and healthy individuals in Christ, we can engage in relationships that are not about completing each other but about serving and loving one another as Christ loves us.

We also discussed the importance of shifting our hopes and dreams from being centered on another person to being centered on God. This shift allows us to serve our partners selflessly and build a marriage that reflects God's love. Instead of comparing and competing to meet each other's needs, we are called to live for God first, which naturally leads to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Finally, I shared a personal announcement about transitioning from my role as senior pastor to teaching pastor, passing the leadership baton to Tim and Lauren Seawalt. This change is part of the natural growth and evolution of our church community, ensuring that we continue to thrive and serve God's purpose.

Key Takeaways

1. **Worldly vs. Godly Love:** The world's view of love often focuses on finding the "right person" and falling in love based on chemistry. In contrast, God's way emphasizes sacrificial love and commitment, where relationships are built on serving and loving one another as Christ loves us. [38:20]
2. Identity in Christ: Our identity and fulfillment should come from God, not from another person. By establishing a strong relationship with God, we become whole and healthy individuals, capable of engaging in relationships that are not about completing each other but about serving one another. [50:46]
3. Walking in Love: Instead of falling in love, we are called to walk in love, which involves sacrificial commitment and providing what the other person needs most, even when it's least deserved. This reflects the way God loves us and is essential for a lasting marriage. [54:28]
4. Shifting Hopes to God: Our hopes and dreams should be centered on God rather than another person. By seeking to please God first, we naturally create healthier relationships that are not based on comparison or competition but on mutual service and love. [55:57]
5. Personal Growth and Change: In relationships, the focus should be on personal growth and change rather than trying to change the other person. By asking God to transform us, we can better serve and love our partners, leading to stronger and more fulfilling relationships. [01:01:20]
** [61:20]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[38:20] - Introduction to Fine Line Series
[39:20] - The World's View on Relationships
[41:54] - The Hollywood Formula
[43:27] - Falling in Love vs. Walking in Love
[45:00] - Unrealistic Expectations in Love
[46:11] - The Cycle of Disappointment
[47:35] - Consequences of the Worldly Approach
[48:32] - God's Design for Marriage
[50:46] - Identity and Fulfillment in Christ
[52:51] - Walking in Love: A Sacrificial Commitment
[54:28] - Shifting Hopes to God
[55:57] - Serving Each Other in Love
[57:41] - Building Each Other Up
[61:20] - Personal Growth and Change
[63:40] - Transition in Leadership
[65:24] - Closing Remarks

Sermon Clips

Relationships are a gift from God, but it's not always the easiest thing to navigate. Relationships are certainly not always easy, are they? The line between right and wrong, good and God, healthy and unhealthy isn't always obvious. So, today, I want to talk about two ways. There's, you know, it's kind of a good way, a right way to do marriage and a wrong way to do marriage. And we tend to do it the world's way. [00:38:47] (26 seconds)

And heads with false ideas about sex and love. If you've grown up in the last 25 years, then the easy access to porn has shaped, if you think it hasn't shaped a generation's view of sexuality, you're not paying attention. It's shaped a generation and how that's affecting relationships. And after listening to thousands of songs and getting a daily dose. Of social media, movies and romance novels, we've just been filled with wrong ideas. You could say false ideas about what love, sex, and relationships are all about. There is a worldly way and there's a godly way. [00:40:53] (49 seconds)

In the movies, you can fall in love with a stranger in an instant, you know, at Starbucks. And it's the real thing. In the Hollywood formula, love is based on chemistry, you know, having the right chemistry. It's not based on knowledge about the person. You really, usually in most Hollywood relationships, it's the chemistry that attracts them. Then they find out what the person is really like. Then they have to work all through that. That's what makes it, you know, the romantic comedies, that formula work. Love makes you crazy. [00:43:58] (29 seconds)

The person with whom you fall in love will become the object of your life, your future, your dreams, and your satisfaction. You really suddenly realize that this person, this he or she is the only one that can make you complete, that she will make you whole. You know, you complete me. Later it'll be you drive me completely crazy. But right now it's just you complete me, right? [00:45:12] (30 seconds)

So we fully expect that this person will be able to meet our deepest longings, our deepest needs, and come through for us. 100 % of the time, they will never let us down. And then we base all our expectations on this one person that is going to solve all our problems. Then something happens. The feelings begin to subside. They always do. [00:45:42] (29 seconds)

God's way to build a lasting marriage is found in Ephesians 5, verse 1. Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us. So what's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? What's God's way? referring back to Ephesians 4, which is also referring back to Ephesians 3. But look at Ephesians 4, verse 25. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin, and do not let the sun go down on your anger. Do not give the devil an opportunity. [00:48:57] (66 seconds)

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. So he's saying, I want you to imitate God in your relationships. I want you to understand that you are a beloved child. As a beloved child, be an imitator of God, receiving our love from God and finding our hope in God instead of looking for other people to fulfill us. [00:50:46] (30 seconds)

Les and Leslie repro in their book, Relationships, illustrate this point. They say this, if you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be a relationship with a person. relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart and the lack of what you don't have, that relationship will end in disaster. Did you get that? I'm going to read that again. It's very important. If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart and the lack of what you don't have, that relationship will end in disaster. You see, the key to lasting relationships is first develop a relationship with God through Christ in such a way that you are secure in who you are in Him. [00:51:38] (55 seconds)

We want to let God change us. Number two, we want to be imitators of God. We want to let God change us. Number two, instead of falling in love, and it's funny how the terminology we use is love is like a ditch that you can't avoid. What happened? I don't know. I fell in love. Instead of falling in love, walk in love, verse number two, and walk in love just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us, an offering and sacrifice to God is a fragrant aroma. Walking in love is a about sacrificial commitment. [00:53:16] (36 seconds)

Walking in love means giving the other person what he or she needs the most, not necessarily what they want the most, when it's least deserved because that's how God treated you. Love is sacrificial. It's other -centered. It's action that provides what's best for the other person, and it's hard. That's, you know, I think all of us would agree that are married, marriage is hard. It's tough. [00:53:57] (32 seconds)

And so, number three, instead of fixing our hopes and dreams on another person, we fix our hopes on God. We're looking to God. We're seeking to please Him, not just please the other person. Our main goal is to please God with our lives, not to please people. [00:55:14] (20 seconds)

If you're in a relationship and you start comparing what they're doing and how you're getting up with the kids in the middle of the night and how you're cooking the meals and you're doing the laundry or I'm doing the laundry, I'm working 60 hours from home and I'm taking care of all, you know, and you just aren't. start living like that, it becomes a comparison and it never works out. You're never getting all of your needs met proportionately because that's not how it works. It works when we operate not from a world's mindset or what have you done for me lately, to a godly mindset of what can I do for you? How can I serve you? How can I love you? See, God's plan is not two people trying to please each other. God's plan is two people living for God first, desiring and endeavoring to please God. [00:56:27] (56 seconds)

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