Redefining Family: Belonging to God's Spiritual Family
Summary
In Matthew 12:46-50, Jesus redefines what it means to belong to the family of God. As he teaches, his biological family waits outside, but he stretches out his hand toward his disciples and declares, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” This moment is not a rejection of earthly family, but a radical invitation into a new, spiritual family—one that is formed not by blood or heritage, but by allegiance to Christ and obedience to God’s will.
This new family is a gift of grace, not something earned by credentials, proximity, or good works. Just as I once received unexpected access to the halls of Parliament in London—not because of who I was, but because of who I knew—so too are we welcomed into God’s family because of Jesus. Our access is not based on our own merit, but on Christ’s finished work. In this family, adoption trumps ancestry; faith in Jesus, not our background or religious activity, is what brings us in.
Jesus’ words challenge us to examine our allegiances. He must come before all others, even the closest earthly relationships. This does not diminish the importance of family, but it reorders our loves so that Christ is first. Sometimes, following Jesus will create tension with those who do not share our faith, and we are called to choose him above comfort or kin. This is not a call to neglect our families, but to love them rightly by loving Christ supremely.
Belonging to Jesus’ family also means belonging to his people—the church. The church is not a club or a clique, but a spiritual family created by the blood of Christ. For those who feel lonely or out of place, Jesus offers a place to belong, a community that loves, prays, and walks together through life’s joys and sorrows. This family is not perfect, but it is real, and it is eternal.
Finally, obedience is the mark of those who truly belong to Jesus. We are not saved by our obedience, but our obedience reveals that we are part of God’s family. Faith is the root; obedience is the fruit. To do the will of the Father is to show that we are truly Christ’s brothers and sisters. This is not about earning God’s favor, but about living out the new identity we have received by grace.
Key Takeaways
- Allegiance to Jesus must come before all other relationships, even the most cherished ones. This reordering of our loves is not a rejection of family, but a recognition that Christ is Lord over all, and our devotion to him shapes every other relationship in our lives. When following Jesus creates conflict with our comforts or kin, it is a sign that his call is real and transformative. [57:22]
- The family of Jesus is a spiritual one, created by adoption through faith, not by natural descent or religious activity. In Christ, we are grafted into a new lineage, becoming part of God’s people and inheritors of his promises. This spiritual family is a place of belonging for the lonely and the outcast, offering a home that is eternal and secure. [01:02:27]
- Obedience is the distinguishing mark of those who belong to God’s family. While faith alone makes us children of God, it is obedience that demonstrates our family resemblance to Christ. True faith is never alone; it is always accompanied by a life that seeks to do the will of the Father, not to earn acceptance, but to express it. [01:08:32]
- The church is not merely an event or a social gathering, but a spiritual family formed by the blood of Jesus. Investing in this family means committing to love, serve, and walk with one another through all seasons of life. For those who have experienced brokenness or loneliness in their earthly families, the church is a tangible expression of God’s promise that we are never alone. [01:06:19]
- Our access to God’s family is a gift of grace, not something we achieve by our own efforts or heritage. Just as unexpected access to a place of honor can come through relationship, so our place in God’s family comes through knowing Jesus. This truth humbles us, calls us to gratitude, and invites us to extend the same welcome to others who seek to belong. [47:33]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[42:53] - Introduction to Matthew 12:46-50
[43:24] - Jesus Creates a New Family
[45:34] - A Story of Unexpected Access
[47:33] - Access to God’s Family Through Christ
[48:45] - Jesus Redefines Family
[49:22] - Discipleship and Belonging
[50:31] - Prioritizing Jesus Above All
[52:09] - Allegiance to Christ Over Earthly Ties
[54:21] - Inside and Outside: Spiritual vs. Biological Family
[56:16] - The Cost and Call of Discipleship
[58:41] - Navigating Family Tensions for Christ
[01:00:42] - The Spiritual Family of Jesus
[01:03:07] - Adoption and Spiritual DNA
[01:06:19] - The Church as Family
[01:08:15] - Obedience as the Mark of God’s Family
[01:10:41] - Faith, Obedience, and Assurance
[01:12:54] - Examining Our Family Resemblance to Christ
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: The Family of Jesus (Matthew 12:46-50)
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### Bible Reading
- Matthew 12:46-50
While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
- John 1:12-13
But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
- 1 John 2:3-4
And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
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### Observation Questions
1. In Matthew 12:46-50, who does Jesus identify as his true family, and what is the key characteristic he mentions?
[[43:57]]
2. According to John 1:12-13, what is the basis for becoming a child of God? Is it physical descent, effort, or something else?
3. In the sermon, what does the pastor say about the difference between being physically close to Jesus and actually belonging to his family?
[[49:04]]
4. What does 1 John 2:3-4 say is the evidence that someone truly knows God?
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Jesus chose this moment, with his biological family waiting outside, to redefine what it means to be part of God’s family?
[[54:21]]
2. The sermon says, “Adoption trumps ancestry.” What does this mean for people who feel like outsiders in the church or in their own families?
[[01:02:27]]
3. How does the idea that “faith is the root, obedience is the fruit” help us understand the relationship between believing in Jesus and living out his commands?
[[01:08:32]]
4. The pastor shared a story about getting unexpected access to Parliament because of who he knew, not what he had done. How does this story help us understand our access to God’s family?
[[47:33]]
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### Application Questions
1. Jesus says that allegiance to him must come before all other relationships. Are there relationships or loyalties in your life that sometimes take priority over your relationship with Jesus? What would it look like to “reorder your loves” so that Christ is first?
[[57:22]]
2. The sermon mentions that following Jesus can sometimes create tension with family or friends who don’t share your faith. Have you ever experienced this? How did you respond, and what did you learn from it?
[[58:41]]
3. The church is described as a spiritual family, not just a social club. In what ways have you experienced the church as a true family? Are there ways you could invest more deeply in relationships with other believers?
[[01:06:19]]
4. For those who have felt lonely or out of place, the sermon says Jesus offers a place to belong. Is there someone in your church or community who might feel like an outsider? What is one practical thing you could do this week to help them feel included?
[[01:06:19]]
5. The sermon says, “Obedience is the distinguishing mark of those who belong to God’s family.” Is there an area of your life where you sense God calling you to greater obedience? What is one step you could take this week to respond?
[[01:08:32]]
6. The pastor said, “Our access to God’s family is a gift of grace, not something we achieve by our own efforts or heritage.” How does this truth affect your sense of gratitude or humility? How might it change the way you welcome others into the church?
[[47:33]]
7. Think about your own family background—whether it’s strong, broken, or somewhere in between. How does knowing you are adopted into God’s family shape the way you view yourself and others in the church?
[[01:02:27]]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Thank God for the gift of being part of his family through Jesus. Ask for help to love Christ above all, to love others in the church as true brothers and sisters, and to live out your new identity with faith and obedience.
Devotional
Day 1: Allegiance to Jesus Comes Before All Other Relationships
To be a part of Jesus’ family, He must come before all others. Our allegiance to Christ is more important than any earthly relationship, even those with our closest family members. Jesus’ call is not to neglect or dishonor our families, but to reorder our loves so that He is first in our hearts and lives. This may sometimes create tension or conflict with those who do not share our faith, but following Jesus means placing Him above all else, even when it is difficult or costly. Examine your heart and ask whether Jesus truly holds first place, or if other relationships have taken priority over Him. [56:16]
Luke 14:26 (ESV)
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”
Reflection: Is there a relationship or commitment in your life that you have allowed to take priority over your allegiance to Jesus? What would it look like to put Christ first today, even if it means making a hard choice?
Day 2: Jesus Creates a Spiritual Family
Jesus’ family is a spiritual one, not defined by ancestry or blood, but by faith and adoption into God’s household. Through Christ’s work on the cross, all who trust in Him are welcomed into a new, forever family that transcends earthly ties. This spiritual family is marked by love, care, and belonging, offering a place for the lonely and the outcast. No matter your background or past, you are invited to become part of this family by faith in Jesus, who stretches out His hand and calls you His own. [01:02:08]
John 1:12-13 (ESV)
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”
Reflection: If you have ever felt like you don’t belong, how does knowing you are adopted into God’s family through Christ change the way you see yourself and others in the church?
Day 3: Faith in Christ Is the Only Way Into God’s Family
Becoming part of Jesus’ family is not about religious activity, good works, or heritage—it is about trusting in Christ alone for salvation. The first and most important step is to believe in Jesus as Lord and Savior, surrendering your sins and your life to Him. This faith is the work of God in your heart, and it is by grace that you are welcomed into His family. No amount of effort or proximity to religious things can substitute for genuine faith in Christ. [01:04:53]
John 6:29 (ESV)
“Jesus answered them, ‘This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.’”
Reflection: Have you truly placed your faith in Jesus alone for your salvation, or are you relying on your background, good deeds, or church attendance? What step of faith do you need to take today?
Day 4: Obedience Is the Mark of God’s Family
Obedience identifies us as members of Jesus’ family. While we are not saved by our works, our obedience to God’s will is the evidence that we belong to Him. Faith is the root, and obedience is the fruit that grows from a heart changed by grace. Jesus makes it clear that those who do the will of His Father are His true family. Examine your life for the marks of obedience—not as a way to earn God’s favor, but as a joyful response to His love and adoption. [01:10:41]
1 John 2:3-4 (ESV)
“And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says ‘I know him’ but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”
Reflection: In what area of your life is God calling you to greater obedience today? What is one specific step you can take to align your actions with His will?
Day 5: The Church Is a True Family—Invest in It
The church is not a club or a clique, but a spiritual family created by the blood of Jesus. Belonging to this family means more than just attending services; it is a commitment to love, care, pray, and walk with one another through all of life’s seasons. Even when earthly families fail or disappoint, the family of God is a place of belonging and support. Invest in your church family, knowing that you are welcomed, loved, and called to be a blessing to others as Christ has welcomed you. [01:07:20]
Romans 12:10 (ESV)
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
Reflection: How can you intentionally invest in your church family this week—through encouragement, service, or building deeper relationships with your brothers and sisters in Christ?
Quotes
God through Jesus has created a forever fulfilling wonderful family for us to be a part of forever. And it's in this privilege that Jesus is teaching here in Matthew in the last few verses in Matthew 12:46 to the end. [00:48:00]
Jesus is showing us and them that becoming a part of the family of God doesn't mean uh something that you've uh that you've inherited. It's not about being in proximity of Jesus. It's not from your good works. It's not DNA. [00:48:52]
There are some of us in this room who struggle fitting in or finding family or relationship. In a crowded room, you feel alone. Or maybe in this day and age of being online that you that you're struggling with that personal relationship. [00:49:30]
Members of my family always put me first. A king has come. A new family is made. The king has created this family for us to be a part of. We are thankful for this forever family. [00:50:31]
It's about how you follow Jesus with your life. It's a measured not by attendance but by your affection. your allegiance to Jesus. Perhaps you've never fully understood his call. May perhaps you've uh never understood what it means to follow Jesus. [00:50:49]
To be part of Jesus' family, he must come before all others. We see here and we land here in chapter 12. Our allegiance to Jesus must be more important than all earthly relationships. [00:52:09]
Jesus is making something very clear that his allegiance to him is more vital than any other human relationship. That our call is to Jesus first, then our family. And even the call of our family changes how Jesus teaches how we respond to them. [00:55:49]
In the same way, our call to Christ doesn't negate our love for others. It reorders it. To go to King Jesus. Jesus is not one of many allegiances. He's Lord over them all. [00:57:39]
Friends, if following Jesus has never created conflict with your comforts or your kin, perhaps you probably haven't understood the call of King Jesus. Following Jesus is going to create issues with those in your family or in your life that don't call him King and Lord. [00:58:16]
Through Christ's work on the cross, Jesus adopts us into his spiritual family. As we said, there was an outside and there was an inside. And his family was outside and others were inside. He asks this question, who is my mother and who are my brothers? [01:00:51]
Adoption into Jesus's family is more important than the ancestry of our earthly parents and family. As John writes in John chapter 1 12-13, "But to all who did receive him, he gave them the right to be children of God. To those who believe in his name." [01:02:23]
We have been grafted into the DNA of Jesus. We are now part of faithful Israel. We are now part of the Davidic covenant. We are now part of the Abrahamic covenant. We are now part of Christ who was buried for our sins, who has raised from the grave. [01:03:07]
We do that by faith, by trusting in his work, by believing and appointing him king of our lives. By trusting in him, by giving him over our sins and trusting in forgiveness, we by the work of the spirit become the family of God. [01:04:19]
The church is not a club or a click. It's a family created by the blood of Jesus. And it's also a commitment for us to understand that to attend church and belong to the family is something special that we need to invest in it not using it as a third, fourth or fifth option of our life. [01:06:40]
Obedience identifies us as members of Jesus family. Verse 50. So for whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. We don't become Jesus' family by obedience, but we show that we are part of his family through obedience. [01:08:10]
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