Rebuilding Hope: Finding Faith Amidst Loss

 

Summary

In the face of life's most challenging moments, such as the mental illness and eventual loss of a loved one, we are often left grappling with questions of faith, hope, and God's presence. When my son Matthew's mental health took a severe turn, I found solace in the prayers and support of a small, confidential group of friends who lifted us up in prayer. They shared scriptures that became my lifeline, verses that I would underline and revisit daily. These scriptures, like those in Psalms and Isaiah, spoke of God's deliverance and promises, and I clung to them, hoping for Matthew's healing.

However, when Matthew passed away, my hope was shattered. The promises I had held onto seemed to mock me, and I was left questioning what to do when hope doesn't manifest as expected. In such moments, we face a choice: to give up on God or to blame ourselves for a perceived lack of faith. Yet, neither response is adequate. Instead, I have come to accept the mystery of God's ways, trusting that one day, all will be revealed and understood.

In the meantime, I am rebuilding my hope. I am creating a new playlist of songs and filling my Hope box with scriptures that speak to the eternal promises of God, like 1 Corinthians 15:43, which assures us of resurrection and glory beyond this life. Though Matthew's earthly story ended, it is not the end of his story or mine. We must continue to pray audaciously and hold onto hope, even when it seems elusive. Life is a preparation for eternity, and while we may face pain and loss, we can live with hope, knowing that God's plan is greater than our current struggles.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Power of Community and Prayer: In times of deep personal crisis, the support of a prayerful community can be a lifeline. Their prayers and shared scriptures can provide strength and hope, reminding us that we are not alone in our struggles. [00:15]

2. Facing Unanswered Prayers: When our prayers seem unanswered, it is easy to feel disillusioned. However, faith requires us to trust in God's greater plan, even when it remains a mystery. We must hold onto the belief that God is neither fake nor a tease, and that our faith is not a failure. [06:22]

3. Rebuilding Hope After Loss: After experiencing profound loss, it is essential to rebuild hope by focusing on God's eternal promises. Scriptures like 1 Corinthians 15:43 remind us that our earthly struggles are not the end, and that there is glory and strength beyond this life. [10:18]

4. Living with an Eternal Perspective: To maintain hope amidst life's challenges, we must adopt an eternal perspective. This life is temporary, and our current troubles are not the end of the story. By focusing on eternity, we can find peace and purpose beyond our immediate circumstances. [15:24]

5. The Epidemic of Hopelessness: In a world filled with hopelessness, it is crucial to cling to the hope found in Christ. Despite life's battles and brokenness, we can live with hope because we know there is more to the story than the here and now. God's love and plan are greater than any problem we face. [17:59]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:15] - Seeking Spiritual Support
- [01:08] - The Intensifying Struggle
- [01:40] - Building a Hope Box
- [02:22] - God's Promises in Scripture
- [03:05] - A Mother's Prayer and Fleece
- [04:21] - The Day Hope Was Crushed
- [05:34] - Responses to Unmet Expectations
- [06:43] - Accepting Mystery
- [08:10] - Rebuilding Hope
- [09:44] - New Verses for Hope
- [11:10] - The Importance of a Hope Box
- [12:48] - Audacious Faith and Hope
- [14:43] - Living with an Eternal Perspective
- [17:59] - The Epidemic of Hopelessness

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Psalm 116:3-9 - "The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: 'Lord, save me!' The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living."
2. 1 Corinthians 15:43 - "Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength."
3. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 14 - "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself."

#### Observation Questions
1. What role did the small group of friends play in the speaker's journey through Matthew's mental illness? [00:15]
2. How did the speaker use the "Hope box" in their daily routine, and what significance did it hold? [01:40]
3. What was the speaker's initial reaction to Matthew's passing, and how did it affect their faith and hope? [04:59]
4. How does 1 Corinthians 15:43 provide comfort and hope in the face of loss, according to the speaker? [10:18]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the speaker's experience illustrate the power of community and prayer during times of crisis? [00:15]
2. In what ways does the speaker grapple with the concept of unanswered prayers, and what conclusions do they reach? [06:22]
3. How does the speaker's understanding of God's eternal promises help them rebuild hope after loss? [10:18]
4. What does it mean to live with an eternal perspective, and how does this perspective influence the speaker's view of current struggles? [15:24]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you faced a personal crisis. How did the support of a community or lack thereof impact your experience? [00:15]
2. Have you ever felt disillusioned by unanswered prayers? How did you reconcile your faith with those experiences? [06:22]
3. What scriptures or spiritual practices help you rebuild hope after experiencing loss or disappointment? [10:18]
4. How can adopting an eternal perspective change the way you view your current challenges and struggles? [15:24]
5. In what ways can you create a "Hope box" in your life, whether literally or metaphorically, to remind you of God's promises? [11:42]
6. How can you cultivate audacious faith and hope in your life, even when circumstances seem bleak? [12:48]
7. What steps can you take to combat the epidemic of hopelessness in your community, offering hope to those around you? [17:59]

Devotional

Day 1: The Lifeline of Community and Prayer
In times of deep personal crisis, the support of a prayerful community can be a lifeline. When faced with overwhelming challenges, such as the mental illness and loss of a loved one, it is crucial to have a network of friends who can lift you up in prayer. These individuals can share scriptures and words of encouragement that remind you that you are not alone in your struggles. This community becomes a source of strength and hope, helping you to navigate through the darkest moments. [00:15]

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life can you reach out to for prayer and support during difficult times? How can you also be a source of encouragement for someone else today?


Day 2: Trusting in God's Greater Plan
When prayers seem unanswered, it is easy to feel disillusioned and question your faith. However, faith requires trusting in God's greater plan, even when it remains a mystery. It is important to hold onto the belief that God is neither fake nor a tease, and that your faith is not a failure. Instead of giving up on God or blaming yourself, embrace the mystery of His ways, trusting that one day, all will be revealed and understood. [06:22]

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." (Isaiah 55:8, ESV)

Reflection: What unanswered prayer in your life can you surrender to God today, trusting in His greater plan?


Day 3: Rebuilding Hope Through God's Promises
After experiencing profound loss, it is essential to rebuild hope by focusing on God's eternal promises. Scriptures like 1 Corinthians 15:43 remind us that our earthly struggles are not the end, and that there is glory and strength beyond this life. By creating a new playlist of songs and filling a Hope box with scriptures, you can anchor your hope in the assurance of resurrection and eternal life. This practice helps to shift your focus from present pain to the promises of God. [10:18]

"So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable." (1 Corinthians 15:42, ESV)

Reflection: What scripture or song can you add to your Hope box today to remind you of God's eternal promises?


Day 4: Living with an Eternal Perspective
To maintain hope amidst life's challenges, it is crucial to adopt an eternal perspective. This life is temporary, and our current troubles are not the end of the story. By focusing on eternity, you can find peace and purpose beyond your immediate circumstances. This perspective allows you to live with hope, knowing that God's plan is greater than your current struggles and that there is more to the story than the here and now. [15:24]

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." (2 Corinthians 4:17, ESV)

Reflection: How can you shift your focus from temporary struggles to an eternal perspective today?


Day 5: Clinging to Hope in a Hopeless World
In a world filled with hopelessness, it is crucial to cling to the hope found in Christ. Despite life's battles and brokenness, you can live with hope because you know there is more to the story than the present moment. God's love and plan are greater than any problem you face. By holding onto this hope, you can navigate through life's challenges with confidence and assurance in God's promises. [17:59]

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." (Romans 15:13, ESV)

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you need to cling to the hope found in Christ today? How can you actively remind yourself of this hope?

Quotes

"when Matthew's mental illness took a huge turn for the worst about 5 years ago I found myself increasingly panicked and I knew I needed some spiritual support and so I enlisted a group of confidential incredible people who agreed to pray for Matthew and for us on a regular basis and I would send them very specific updates very specific requests and I would tell them what I was asking them to pray for on that day or that week or that moment would you lift him to Jesus and they would send me encouraging emails back supportive emails they would send me scriptures that they said God told me to pray this for Matthew and this is what I'm praying for him and for you and I began to underline those in my Bible and read those verses over and over and over again" [00:06:57]

"and if you are part of that confidential very small group of people either here or online and you're watching I want you to know that there's no way I can ever thank you enough I cannot put into words how grateful I am for the ways that knowing your prayers and your encouragement kept me going through some very very dark days and then about a year ago this drum beat of mental illness this steady downward spiral and this drum beat just intensified and it moved to the place of where we never knew from day today could this be the day will this be the day that Matthew finally gives up" [00:53:00]

"and I wrote some of those verses out because a friend gave me a year ago this box you know it looks kind of like Alabaster marble I don't know but it's got the word hope engraved in it and I took this box and I took all of those verses that people had been sending to me all those verses that I'd underlined in my Bible and I wrote them on little cards and I stuck them inside this box and it became part of my daily ritual my time with God is I would spend time with God I would open that box and I would read through the cards of those verses that built my hope" [01:33:28]

"those verses like Psalm 116 and Psalm 18 that talked about so clearly it says there in those two those two Psalms the cords of the Grave wrapped themselves around me and held me tightly and I would say God yes that is the way Matthews the cords of the Grave are are firmly round bound around him but then the next few verses would talk about how God lifted him up and it would say he delivered me from my eyes from tears and my feet from stumbling so that I could walk in the land of the living again and I found verses that would say that that made these promises like that my child would would stand in the congregation with his arms raised praising God again verses like in Isaiah 54 that say no weapon formed against you will stand" [02:04:39]

"I wanted an answer from God that convinced me that he was going to heal Matthew's mind here and what I did I had a little I had a little test devised for God wasn't literally a fleece but I had a test devised for God that was going to prove to me that God was going to answer this prayer and so I prayed this prayer but before he did I said God you know I feel really silly doing this God because I'm going to trust you no matter what I'm yours I love you and whether you answer this fleece thing or not I'm going to trust you but God it would mean so much to my mother's heart if you would just in your graciousness give me a sign that you are going to heal Matthew mind here" [02:50:48]

"and within minutes the very thing I had prayed for happened and I was completely shocked I didn't know what to do is this is this a fleece I don't know I've never done this before was that really it was that coincidence did God do it am I making this up was it just you know what I didn't know what so as I told my older son Josh about it he said Mom that's the way the life of Faith Works you either Believe it or you don't you asked God and then God did exactly what you asked so Mom you either believe you're either in or you're not I mean I love it when my kids school me in faith and so I decided okay I'm in and so for several years that fleece held me on some times when I would doubt that God was going to heal Matthew's mind but I jumped in and believed with everything I had" [03:14:48]

"and then April 5th came and Matthew died and with his death my hopes for a healed mind here on Earth died too my playlist of songs seemed absolutely stupid and pointless my fleece was just a piece of wool After All My Hope box seemed to mock me there it sat on the table next to my chair where I had my devotions and I felt it mocked me because hope had severely crushed me I had been crushed by hope because hope didn't happen there was a month in which I didn't even open this box because every time I looked at it my hopes were crushed so what do you do when hope doesn't look the way you expect it to what do you do when hope doesn't turn out the way that you think it was going to what do you do when this audacious faith that you have claimed boldly doesn't give or yield the answer that you were believing and expecting" [04:21:28]

"well there are a couple of options one of them is to just give up and curse God and call him a liar and a fake and a phony and a tease or you can give God an out if that doesn't feel comfortable you can give God an out and you can take the blame on yourself and you can say well it was my faith my faith wasn't strong enough I wasn't bold enough if I'd just been a better Christian if I'd been a better mother if I'd done something differently Matthew would still be alive and you can take it all on yourself I've decided that neither of those responses is helpful or adequate because what I know about God God prevents me from concluding that he is fake and phony and a tease and what I know about myself prevents me from concluding that it was a failure of my faith that my faith wasn't strong enough or good enough or bold enough that my love wasn't enough" [05:47:20]

"what I've come to accept is that my love was not enough to keep him from eventually hitting that mental illness brick wall but what am I left with then if I can't blame God and I can't blame myself what is there where do I go where do I go with this hope that was crushed or what I'm left with is Mystery a big fat mystery that I don't quite know what to do with and so I have taken everything that I know about God and everything that I don't know about about God and I've put it in just this little sauce pan on the burner of my mind and I kind of call it Mysteries I cannot solve it's not on the back burner of my mind because I think about it every day every day I think about the Mysteries that I can't solve but I'm content to leave them in that little pan knowing that when I see God face to face that every one of those Mysteries will be absolutely completely totally 100% answered" [06:50:40]

"so what do we do in the meantime well 2 Corinthians 48-9 and verse1 14 says we often suffer but we're never crushed even when we don't know what to do we never give up in times of trouble God is with us and when we are knocked down we get up again because we know God Ra raise the Lord back to life and just as he raised Jesus he will also raise us back to life and will bring us into his presence together he says we don't know what to do but we don't give up we are knocked down we get up again so I'm getting up and I'm rebuilding my hope I'm in the process of creating a new playlist on my phone it's called K's pix too right now it doesn't have as many songs in it as the first one did but as I gradually hear songs that rebuild my hope I add him to that playlist" [08:09:20]

"it's got a song by Meredith Andrews called Not For a Moment We Sing it here at Saddleback and one of the lines in that song one of the lyrics Is Not For a Moment will you forsake us Not For a Moment did God forsake Matthew not for a second even though m Matthew often obviously felt forsaken by God but not for a moment did God forsake Him and Not For a Moment has God forsaken me or my family I'm rebuilding My Hope box I took out the verses eventually that were in here that I'd read for a couple of years not because the verses weren't true because the verses are absolutely true they just didn't apply in the same way anymore they were about healing and about deliverance and about restoration and that isn't what happened so if I'm instead filling the Hope box again with other verses that build my hope for the better things that God has" [09:07:59]

"1 Corinthians 15:43 is one of the verses that's come to mean so much to me in the last few months it says our bodies are buried in Brokenness but they will be raised in glory they are buried in weakness but they will be raised in strength when I leave the cemetery where I go frequently because I'm comforted I'm mouring there and I get in touch with God and I express my grief and I receive his comfort and I say that verse I Matthew's body is in the grave he's with Jesus but his body is in the grave and I say Matthew you were buried in Brokenness but you will be raised in glory you were buried in weakness but you will be raised in strength I can do this because April 5th is not the end of the story First Corinthians is a verse that you need to have as a verse that's in your heart hope may not look the way that you thought it would it sure didn't turn out the way I thought it would but hope is aive in me because of what I know" [10:18:44]

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Transcript
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