Aim the Arrow: Raising Children for God's Purposes

Jun 28, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: When Arrows Fly Straight From Authority’s Bow

Children thrive under loving boundaries that prepare them for true freedom. Just as an instructor pilot gradually hands over plane controls, parents must steward authority to build responsible decision-makers. The goal isn’t perpetual control but transferring dependence from human guidance to divine wisdom. Healthy authority provides guardrails for impulsive hearts still developing judgment. Like a farmer teaching his dogs to run with purpose, parents shape character through consistent standards paired with growing trust. [37:15]

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4, ESV)

Reflection: Where have you seen wise authority—like a pilot’s steady hand—prepare someone for responsible freedom? How might your parenting or mentoring reflect both structure and trust?

Day 2: Sharpening Arrows Without Breaking Their Shaft

Discipline becomes destructive when it prioritizes parental ego over a child’s dignity. Roman fathers ruled with iron fists, but biblical fathers model a God who corrects without crushing. Sarcasm, shifting expectations, or refusing to listen breed resentment. True training mirrors the Father who disciplines those He loves—not to humiliate, but to cultivate holiness that lasts when no one’s watching. [42:36]

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21, ESV)

Reflection: When have you been tempted to parent out of frustration rather than love? What practical step could help you correct while still affirming your child’s God-given worth?

Day 3: Letting Go of the Bowstring by Letting Go of Control

Training shifts from micromanaging behavior to nurturing convictions. Just as a driving instructor eventually steps out of the car, parents must replace control with coaching. This means allowing calculated risks—a teen budgeting allowance, choosing extracurriculars, or navigating conflict—while staying present to guide. The goal isn’t perfect compliance today but resilient character tomorrow. [51:06]

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

Reflection: What “passenger seat” moment could you create this week to let your child practice decision-making? How will you model trust without abandoning guidance?

Day 4: Aiming Arrows at Eternity’s Target

Parents often exhaust themselves hitting secondary targets—academic success, social status, athletic prowess—while missing the ultimate aim: Christlikeness. Like the Olympian who shot perfectly at the wrong target, we risk raising skilled children who lack eternal purpose. The arrow’s true destination isn’t worldly approval but a life surrendered to God’s mission. [26:22]

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. (Psalm 127:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: What “targets” compete for your parenting energy? How might aligning with God’s purposes simplify your family’s priorities?

Day 5: Released Arrows Still Held by Heaven’s Hand

The driveway moment—watching your child drive away—exposes our illusion of control. Yet releasing arrows doesn’t mean abandoning them to chance. It means entrusting them to the Archer who never misses. Prayer replaces panic when we remember God loves them more deeply than we ever could. Our stewardship ends; His sovereignty never does. [53:17]

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

Reflection: What fear about your child’s future most tempts you to grasp for control? How could viewing them as God’s arrow—not yours—reshape your prayers today?

Sermon Summary

Paul ties love of country to love of Christ by saying the gospel is the power of God and the family is the foundation on which a nation stands or falls. The text in Ephesians 6 gives the bull’s‑eye for parenting: children who obey in the Lord because this is right, and parents who bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. The wrong target looks impressive but misses the point, like a marksman hitting every ring on the lane next door. The right target is the will of God for a child’s life, not trophies, admissions letters, or applause.

Paul treats children as morally and spiritually responsible persons and commands obedience in the Lord, not because parents are mightier, but because right is right. Authority must come before autonomy. Children need boundaries because they are not born wise, not born with self‑control, and not born with a long view. Even common sense and brain science agree that judgment and impulse control take years to mature, especially in boys, so a father’s and mother’s wise authority keeps risky impulses from becoming lifelong scars.

The arrow image from the Psalms guides the tone. An arrow must be shaped, sharpened, aimed, and then released. Authority is given to train, not to crush. Paul reins in the Roman father and places him under the authority of the Lord, calling parents to mirror the heavenly Father who both disciplines and delights to give good gifts. Stirring up anger looks like sarcasm, refusal to listen, or changing the rules to suit the moment. Training builds character by steady standards and age‑appropriate input, because rules without relationship will lead to rebellion.

Training is not the same as control. Control requires a parent’s presence. Training prepares for a parent’s absence. Freedom should rise with responsibility, like an instructor pilot who slowly moves a student from watching to taking off to landing, with the goal that the instructor steps out and the student flies. Proverbs 22:6 and Romans 8:29 set the aim: not to make a mini‑me, but to see a son or daughter conformed to the image of Jesus. When the time comes to release the arrow, panic gives way to prayer, because the hands that hold the future are the only hands that love that child more than any parent ever could.

Key Takeaways

1. Aim at God’s target, not trophies The true bull’s‑eye is a life that knows and does the will of God, not an image that wins applause. Success that misses holiness is just a prettier miss. Aim the daily choices, the calendar, and the conversations at Christ, or the shot will drift to the next lane no matter how clean the form looks. [26:22]
2. Exercise authority before granting autonomy Boundaries are mercy for immature judgment, not power plays. Wise limits help a young heart learn self‑control and long‑view thinking, so freedom becomes a blessing instead of a trap. Delayed autonomy, given in steps, lets responsibility keep pace with liberty. [30:55]
3. Train with love, don’t exasperate Parental authority sits under Christ’s authority and takes its cues from the Father who disciplines and gives good gifts. Listening, setting steady standards, and refusing sarcasm cool the fires of resentment. Authority used to build, not belittle, helps a child receive correction without hardening their heart. [41:57]
4. Relationship must undergird every rule Standards stick when a child feels seen, heard, and loved; otherwise rules feel like control to escape, not wisdom to embrace. A trusted voice can say “no” without provoking revolt, because love gives the “why” that law alone cannot supply. Deepen connection if obedience is thin; the heart steers the habits. [47:32]
5. Release with prayer, not panic Training aims at absence, so release is not abandonment but trust in what has been formed and in who holds them. Letting go is an act of worship that hands a son or daughter to the God who loves them more. Prayer steadies the parent and strengthens the child in the very moment control must end. [53:31]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[23:51] - Freedom and gratitude
[24:35] - Family as the nation’s foundation
[25:06] - Matt Emmons and the wrong target
[27:40] - The right target for parents
[28:23] - Children as arrows to release
[30:55] - Authority before autonomy
[33:53] - Why kids need boundaries
[37:31] - Instructor‑pilot picture of parenting
[39:40] - Authority to train, not crush
[42:59] - Listen and set steady standards
[47:32] - Rules without relationship
[48:02] - Training each child’s unique bent
[53:31] - Release with prayer, not panic

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading
Ephesians 6:1-4 (ESV)
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Romans 8:29 (ESV)
For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

Observation questions

According to Ephesians 6:1-4, what two specific instructions are given to children and parents?
The sermon compares parenting to an instructor pilot teaching a student to fly. What key difference does this analogy highlight between control and training? [37:31]
What does Proverbs 22:6 emphasize about the relationship between a child’s upbringing and their future?
How does Romans 8:29 redefine the ultimate goal of parenting compared to cultural measures of success?

Interpretation questions

Why might Paul have addressed children first in Ephesians 6:1-4, given the Roman cultural context where children were often overlooked?
The sermon warns that “rules without relationship lead to rebellion” [47:32]. How does this principle align with Paul’s command to avoid provoking children to anger (Ephesians 6:4)?
The arrow analogy in the sermon emphasizes shaping, aiming, and releasing. How does this process reflect the balance between parental authority and preparing children for independence? [28:23]
How do Proverbs 22:6 and Romans 8:29 work together to clarify the difference between raising a “mini-me” and raising a child to reflect Christ?

Application questions

What “targets” (e.g., achievements, social approval) have you unintentionally prioritized for your children that might distract from the goal of knowing and doing God’s will? How could you refocus? [26:22]
In what areas of your child’s life have you granted autonomy too quickly or withheld it too long? What step could you take this week to better align freedom with their growing responsibility? [30:55]
Reflect on a recent conflict with your child. Did sarcasm, inconsistent rules, or refusal to listen play a role? How could you address similar situations in a way that “cools the fires of resentment”? [41:57]
What intentional habit could you start (or deepen) to strengthen your relationship with your child, ensuring rules are rooted in love rather than control? [47:32]
If you had to release your child into adulthood today, what fears would surface? How could prayer replace panic in those areas? [53:31]
How does the idea of your child being “conformed to the image of Jesus” (Romans 8:29) challenge or affirm your current parenting priorities?

Sermon Clips

74s

#ReleaseWithPrayer

“``That day I realized I was releasing the arrow. I wasn't in the truck anymore. So it was what I taught her that was gonna make the difference. And I remember what I did as she drove off. I prayed. I prayed. Parents, there comes that point where you got to trust that you shaped them, that you sharpened them, that you aimed them, that you released them. And when you release them, we release them with prayer and not panic because you are not releasing them to a cold world that cares nothing for them, though that is true. You are releasing them into the hands of a God who is the only one who loves them more than you.”

28s

#RelationshipOverRules

“Here's one of the things that I absolutely am convinced of parents, rules without relationship will lead to rebellion. As parents, we need to deepen the relationship that we give our kids because if all you have are rules and not relationship, it will lead to rebellion.”

41s

#RaiseToReflectJesus

“I mean, whatever it is that God created them to be as parents, it is not my goal to create a mini me, it is my goal to help them reflect the image of Jesus in their life. See, the goal is that we would be conformed to the likeness of his image. That's what the apostle Paul writes in Romans eight verse 29. He says that the goal is that we would be shaped and we would be molded to be like Jesus, not to be like dad. That is not the goal, but training also is not absolute control.”

47s

#TrainForIndependence

“You see, control requires my presence. I'm there, I'm controlling what happens. And some of us parents need to move from control to training because here's what training training is for how my child is going to respond not when I'm there but when I'm absent. Are they making the right decisions? Are they moving toward the Lord? Are they are they moving toward holiness and righteousness on their own? If they are capable of learning baseball and how to hit a golf ball, if they are capable of learning geometry, they are capable of learning to follow the Lord on their own.”

34s

#DisciplineBuildsCharacter

“when our children have very little freedom and when we don't give them any freedom, what eventually happens is we give them just a little bit of freedom and they run. The problem is they won't run to God, they'll run away from God. As parents, we need to use our authority to train them not to crush them. A child needs to understand that discipline rooted in expressed will grow their character.”

27s

#RaiseToGodsAuthority

“And doctor Wilgus simply has it's really quite simple that when you take a child in order to raise them, the objective is that we get them to a place where they are no longer dependent upon us, they're no longer under our discipline, but that they are under the discipline and that they are under the authority of the Lord. We transfer that dependence from a human family to a heavenly father.”

40s

#ObeyBecauseItsRight

“Children, God isn't saying to you that you should obey your parents because they are mightier than you. He is saying it's not about might, it's about what's right. You obey your parents because this is the right thing to do. And by the way, some people wonder, where's that children thing? How does that how does that work out? What's the age here? If your mom and daddy are still paying your bills, if they're still paying for the insurance on that car, whether you're paying for the gas in it or not, you should be under their authority. Let's just let's just put it that way.”

42s

#AuthorityWithHumility

“But Paul does something here that is really quite remarkable. He reigns them in just a little bit and he places them under authority. Look at what he says, fathers, don't stir up anger in your children but bring them up in the training and the instruction of the Lord. It is very clear, the order of the home is that children are under the authority of their parents. Children are under your authority. But it is equally clear in this passage that parents, fathers, you are under the authority of the Lord.”

22s

#BuildUpDontTearDown

“And so Paul is saying to us that we should use our authority not to humiliate our children, not to treat them as less than, not to use sarcasm, not not to constantly be putting our children down, but to seek to build them up.”

36s

#NoMovingGoalposts

“You embitter your children when you constantly change the rules to suit you. When you set a standard, that's the standard that needs to be met. When a child knows this is the standard that I must meet, whether it's what they are supposed to do around the house, cleaning their room, keeping their car clean, whether it's mowing the grass, whether it's the way they dress, whatever the standard is that you set, stick to it. Don't constantly be moving the goalpost on your kid. It just won't work.”

46s

#AgeOfAccountability

“In the Roman world, that that would have been a radical concept for Paul to address children at all, but Paul treats children morally and spiritually responsible persons. There comes a point in your life if you are a young person, I want you to hear me, when you are responsible to God. There there comes that moment that we we we there's this theological term we use it for, we call it the age of accountability and and that's a theological concept. You won't find those words in the bible but you are responsible to God, but you are responsible to God as a child under the authority of your parents.”

43s

#BrainMaturityMatters

“And it's amazing to me that science is catching up with what God already knew. Brain research tells us that the prefrontal cortex of the human brain, especially in boys, is not fully developed until you are about 25 or 26 years old. Now what's important about that is this, that the prefrontal cortex is where decision making takes place. It's where judgment takes place. It is the center of impulse control and it's where planning takes place.”

48s

#ReinInRiskyBehavior

“Boys do dangerous things, teenage boys do incredibly risky things and they love doing it. Do you know why? Because they're boys and it's the way God made them. Let boys be boys but understand they are not men. They're not men. They don't they don't think like a man thinks. They don't think with that level of maturity and that is why parents they need the authority that you bring to the equation because boys are gonna take huge risks. They need a dad who reigns that in just a little bit so they don't kill themselves.”

47s

#ChildrenAreStewards

“Children are a gift from the Lord. The psalmist told us that last week. But we know that that gift really is a trust. It is a stewardship. They are not given to us forever, they are given to us for a season. And we are responsible while those children are with us to nurture them, to nourish them, to raise them, to guide them, to mold and shape them. The illustration that the psalmist used last week was an arrow. Arrows have to be shaped, arrows have to be sharpened, arrows have to be aimed. But before an arrow is any good to anybody, it must be released.”

53s

#AimForGodsWill

“And you're driving them to practice and you're making sure they're involved in the things that your children love and they want to pursue. You're monitoring their grades so that maybe they get into a really good school someday or maybe they get that scholarship and I I hope they do. You you monitor their friendships sometimes to make sure that they don't hang around with the the wrong crowd and you're you're trying your best. So so please don't hear me being condemning but it does seem to me that sometimes we're shooting at the wrong target. As parents, as families, we need to make sure that we understand that the target is the will of God for our children's life. The target is to raise them in the truth and the admonition of the Lord Jesus.”

38s

#PaulChallengedPatriarchy

“The Apostle Paul wrote these instructions in Ephesians chapter six and quite honestly while you will not see it when you read over it you're like this does this sounds pretty tame, pretty bland, these were radical instructions in the Roman world. There was this principle called the patricia protesta, That's Latin for the power of the father. The dad, the father, the husband was in charge. He was a domineering figure in the Roman home.”

20s

#TrainToTheirNature

“Training isn't a formula. It must be conditioned to your child's unique personality, to their unique skill set, to their unique way of thinking. You have to train them in the way that they should go.”

46s

#TrainForTakeoff

“But the goal is not that the instructor pilot stays with me forever. The goal is that he gets out of the plane and I take off. That's one of the best pictures of parenting that I can paint for you. In the beginning, it is that you use your authority over the child and you do you have control, but eventually you want to move more and more to where they have freedom. They have freedom to make their own choices. And you say, oh, I I can't do that. Let me tell you something. Eventually, you gotta do that. It's just that you do it wisely, you do it over a period of time, you do it incrementally so that they learn how to handle their freedom as they learn how to manage responsibility.”

22s

#AuthorityBeforeAutonomy

“Number one, parents must exercise authority before you give them autonomy. Parents must exercise a sense of of authority, of discipline before we set our children free. Children authority. Children need boundaries.”

27s

#ReleaseArrowsWell

“So this morning, I want to talk about how we release those arrows well. I want us to understand from what Paul teaches us in Ephesians chapter six what it means as a parent to let the arrow go in the right direction so the arrow accomplishes what God has in store for their life.”

Ask a question about this sermon

First Baptist Church, Wichita Falls Tx. This sermon · AI assistant

What is the primary target for parenting?

How should parents exercise authority before giving autonomy?

How should fathers discipline without provoking anger?

Aim the Arrow: Raising Children for God's Purposes

Devotional

Day 1: When Arrows Fly Straight From Authority’s Bow

Day 2: Sharpening Arrows Without Breaking Their Shaft

Day 3: Letting Go of the Bowstring by Letting Go of Control

Day 4: Aiming Arrows at Eternity’s Target

Day 5: Released Arrows Still Held by Heaven’s Hand

Sermon Summary

Key Takeaways

Youtube Chapters

Bible Study Guide

Sermon Clips

Aim the Arrow: Raising Children for God's Purposes

Share