Radical Love: Embracing Friendship with Christ

 

Summary

In the final hours before the cross, Jesus gathered with his closest friends in a small upper room, sharing some of the most intimate words he ever spoke. In John 15, Jesus calls his disciples not just servants, but friends, and gives them a single, profound command: “Love each other as I have loved you.” This is not a suggestion or a platitude, but a call to a radical, sacrificial love that mirrors his own—a love that lays down its life for others. The disciples, a diverse and often contentious group, were held together by Jesus’ presence. With his departure imminent, he urges them not to let their differences divide them, but to remain united through this new kind of love.

This love is not rooted in our own limited resources, but in the inexhaustible love of Christ. Our patience, compassion, and kindness will inevitably run dry if we rely solely on ourselves. But when we invite Jesus to fill our hearts, he enables us to love others—even those who are difficult, those who have hurt us, or those we would rather avoid—with his own self-giving love. This is not just about being “nice” or polite; it’s about choosing grace over gossip, forgiveness over resentment, and reconciliation over avoidance. It’s about reaching out, making peace, and serving others even when it costs us.

Obedience to this command is not the price of friendship with Jesus, but the evidence of it. Just as healthy fruit reveals the health of a tree, our willingness to love as Jesus loved shows that we truly walk in friendship with him. Jesus invites us to move beyond a servant mentality—simply following orders—to a place of partnership and intimacy. He calls us to sit at the table with him, to abide in him, and to invite him into every area of our lives, even the places we’d rather keep hidden or distant.

As we come to the communion table, we are reminded that this friendship is both deeply personal and profoundly holy. Jesus is not just a casual companion; he is the holy Son of God who laid down his life for us. We are called to examine ourselves, to confess where we have withheld love or obedience, and to invite Jesus to fill every corner of our hearts. In doing so, we become not just recipients of his love, but participants in his mission—his plan for the world.

Key Takeaways

- Jesus’ command to “love one another as I have loved you” is not a suggestion, but a radical call to sacrificial love. This love is not based on our feelings or preferences, but on the example of Christ, who laid down his life for his friends. When we struggle to love, we are invited to ask Jesus to fill us with his love, which alone is sufficient for the task. [36:28]

- The measure of our love is not how we treat those who are easy to love, but how we respond to those who have hurt us, excluded us, or are difficult to be around. True Christlike love chooses grace over gossip, forgiveness over bitterness, and active reconciliation over passive avoidance. This kind of love often requires us to take the first step, even when it feels unfair or costly. [43:37]

- Obedience to Jesus’ command is not what earns us his friendship; rather, it is the fruit that reveals our relationship with him. Just as healthy fruit shows a healthy tree, our willingness to love as Jesus loved is the evidence that we are truly his friends. Obedience flows from intimacy, not obligation, and as we walk closely with Jesus, our desires begin to align with his. [48:38]

- Jesus redefines our relationship with him—not as mere servants, but as friends who are invited into his plans and purposes. This friendship is marked by transparency, partnership, and shared mission. We are not just tools or workers in God’s kingdom, but beloved friends who are entrusted with his heart and his work in the world. [52:17]

- Friendship with Jesus is both deeply personal and profoundly holy. We are invited to bring every area of our lives to him, not holding anything back or keeping him at arm’s length. As we come to the communion table, we are called to examine ourselves, confess where we have withheld love or obedience, and invite Jesus to fill us anew with his love and presence. [57:47]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[32:40] - Setting the Scene: The Upper Room
[36:28] - Jesus’ Command: Love as I Have Loved You
[37:32] - The Disciples’ Differences and Jesus’ Urgency
[39:05] - Making It Personal: Do We Love Like Jesus?
[40:18] - The Apostle John’s Lifelong Message
[41:17] - Why Love One Another? John’s Two Reasons
[42:31] - What Sacrificial Love Looks Like Practically
[44:55] - The Example of Jesus’ Sacrifice
[46:10] - The Challenge of Loving When It’s Hard
[47:44] - Obedience as the Mark of Friendship
[50:01] - No Longer Servants, But Friends
[52:17] - Invited Into God’s Plan
[53:51] - Saving a Seat for Jesus: Inviting Him In
[57:47] - Communion: Friendship and Reverence
[59:15] - Closing Prayer and Blessing

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: John 15 – Friendship with Jesus and the Call to Radical Love

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### Bible Reading

- John 15:12-17
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.”

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### Observation Questions

1. According to Jesus in John 15, what is the difference between being called a servant and being called a friend? ([50:01])
2. What specific command does Jesus give his disciples in these verses, and how does he describe the kind of love he expects? ([36:28])
3. In the sermon, what examples were given of how the disciples were a diverse and sometimes argumentative group? ([37:32])
4. What does Jesus say is the greatest demonstration of love? ([44:55])

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think Jesus chose to call his disciples “friends” instead of “servants” at this moment, and what does that say about the kind of relationship he wants with us? ([50:01])
2. The sermon mentions that our own patience and compassion will eventually run out if we rely only on ourselves. What does it mean to be filled with Jesus’ love for others, especially those who are hard to love? ([40:18])
3. The pastor said that obedience is not the price of friendship with Jesus, but the evidence of it. How does this change the way we think about following Jesus’ commands? ([48:38])
4. The sermon described how the Apostle John, even in his old age, kept repeating the message “love one another.” Why do you think this message was so central for him, and what does that say about the importance of this command? ([41:17])

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### Application Questions

1. Think about a relationship in your life where it’s hard to show love. What would it look like to “choose grace over gossip, forgiveness over resentment, and reconciliation over avoidance” in that situation? ([42:31])
2. The sermon challenged us to reach out to people we might be avoiding, even if it feels unfair or costly. Is there someone in your life group, family, or community you’ve been avoiding or waiting for them to make the first move? What’s one step you could take this week to reach out? ([43:37])
3. The pastor talked about how our love for others is not based on our own resources, but on Jesus filling our hearts. When was the last time you asked Jesus to help you love someone you found difficult? What happened? ([40:18])
4. Jesus invites us to bring every area of our lives to him, not just the parts we’re comfortable with. Is there an area of your life where you’ve been keeping Jesus at arm’s length? What would it look like to “save a seat” for Jesus there this week? ([53:51])
5. The sermon said that obedience is the fruit of friendship with Jesus, not the fee for entry. Are there any commands of Jesus you’ve been struggling to obey? How might seeing yourself as his friend, not just his servant, change your motivation? ([48:38])
6. When you come to the communion table, do you take time to examine your heart for places where you’ve withheld love or obedience? What’s one thing you could confess or surrender to Jesus before taking communion next time? ([57:47])
7. The disciples were held together by Jesus’ presence, even though they were very different from each other. How can our group stay united in love, even when we have differences or disagreements? ([37:32])

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite Jesus to fill your heart with his love, especially for those who are hard to love. Ask him to help you obey his command, not out of obligation, but out of friendship and intimacy with him.

Devotional

Day 1: Love One Another as Jesus Has Loved You
Jesus commands us to love each other in the same way that He has loved us—a love that is not based on our own limited resources, but on the boundless love He pours into our hearts. This love is not a suggestion or a feeling to follow when convenient, but an active, ongoing command that calls us to reflect Christ’s heart in every relationship, even when it feels difficult or impossible. When our patience, compassion, or kindness runs out, we are invited to ask Jesus to fill us with His love so that we can love others as He does, reaching beyond our natural limits. [39:05]

John 15:12-14 (ESV)
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.”

Reflection: Who is one person in your life right now that you find difficult to love—can you pray today for Jesus to fill your heart with His love for them, and take one small step to show them grace?


Day 2: Sacrificial Love—Laying Down Your Life
The love Jesus calls us to is sacrificial, modeled after His own willingness to lay down His life for His friends. This kind of love goes beyond words or good intentions; it is seen in actions that put others before ourselves, whether that means forgiving someone who has hurt us, reaching out to someone who feels left out, or choosing patience and kindness when it’s least deserved. Sacrificial love is not about waiting for others to make the first move, but about taking initiative to serve, restore, and make peace, even when it costs us something. [44:55]

John 15:13 (ESV)
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Reflection: What is one practical way you can lay down your preferences or comfort this week to sacrificially love someone in your family, workplace, or community?


Day 3: Friendship with Jesus Is Marked by Obedience
Jesus makes it clear that friendship with Him is not just about association or calling ourselves Christians, but about living in obedience to His commands—especially the command to love. Obedience is not the price we pay to earn His friendship, but the evidence that we truly walk with Him and delight in His ways. As we grow in friendship with Jesus, our hearts are transformed to desire what He desires, and our actions begin to reflect His love and truth in the world. [48:38]

John 15:14-15 (ESV)
“You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”

Reflection: Is there an area of your life where you know what Jesus is asking you to do, but you’ve been hesitant to obey? What would it look like to take a step of obedience today as His friend?


Day 4: Jesus Invites Us to Deep Friendship—Not Just Service
Jesus doesn’t just see us as servants or tools to accomplish His work; He calls us friends and invites us to sit with Him, know Him, and share in His heart. This friendship is an invitation to bring every part of our lives to Him, not holding anything back or keeping Him at arm’s length. When we save a seat for Jesus in every area—our struggles, our relationships, our hidden places—we experience the healing and transformation that only comes from abiding in Him and letting Him into every corner of our hearts. [53:51]

John 15:15 (ESV)
“No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you’ve been keeping Jesus at a distance? How can you intentionally invite Him in and “save Him a seat” there today?


Day 5: Approach Jesus as Both Friend and Holy Lord
While Jesus calls us friends and invites us into close relationship, we are also reminded to approach Him with reverence and holiness, especially as we remember His sacrifice through communion. Friendship with Jesus is not casual or flippant; it is marked by awe, self-examination, and a willingness to confess and surrender every hidden part of our lives. As we come to the table, we are called to honor Him as both our loving friend and our holy God, inviting Him to search our hearts and make us whole. [57:47]

1 Corinthians 11:27-28 (ESV)
“Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup.”

Reflection: Before you take communion or spend time in prayer today, pause and ask the Holy Spirit to show you any area where you need to confess, forgive, or invite Jesus’ healing presence.

Quotes

Jesus, though, is described also a lot in scripture as friend. And when I hear that word, to be honest, friendship is a sore spot for Mike. So I'm like, Jesus as friend, pass. I'm good. No thanks. God the Father, let's go back to that one. So if that's you, when we're singing friend of God and some of you are like, what? What's happening here? It's okay. Hey, I understand and you're not alone. I promise, though, that we need to see this in fresh eyes and I'll do my best to explain it in a way where you can all connect with. [00:33:38] (31 seconds)  #FriendshipWithJesus Edit Clip

But this time, he gives them one. Love one another. That's it. Okay, so then we have to ask, okay, well, how? As I have loved you. We are to love like Jesus loved. [00:38:22] (17 seconds)  #LoveLikeJesus Edit Clip

We have to go, but Jesus says something, as I have loved you. So then, okay, we have to start making this personal, right? Do I love other people the way that Jesus loves me? Do I love...Do you love my wife? Do you love your spouse the way Jesus loves you? Do you love your kids the way Jesus loves you? Do you love your parents the way Jesus loves you? Your co -workers, your boss, your neighbors, the people you don't like, the people who are enemies on different political parties, the people on social media, whatever it is, do you love other people the way Jesus loves you? [00:39:05] (34 seconds)  #PersonalLoveChallenge Edit Clip

If you have a brother or sister, let's continue to like make this a layered thing. Let's get deeper. Let's get more personal. If we don't, then what are we doing? So imagine if you have a brother or sister in the family of God and you're not right with them. It's not a suggestion from Jesus for us to love them. It is a command. And we have to reconcile with that. It's not a, hey, try. It is no go and do. It's a very active thing. [00:42:02] (29 seconds)  #CommandToReconcile Edit Clip

So then we have to ask, is our relationship with Jesus marked by obedience or just association? Do we just, do we only associate with Jesus? Or do we actually do what he's asking us to do? There is a difference. [00:49:42] (18 seconds)  #ObedienceOrAssociation Edit Clip

So when we connect the life -changing power of Jesus Christ, it's not so we can just be a tool. It's so that we can be his friends, his partners with the work. And Jesus is saying, I've brought you into the plan. We are now part of the plan. We are the plan. For your neighbor, we're the plan. For your friend who doesn't know Jesus, we're the plan. You're the plan. Which is great news. [00:52:00] (35 seconds)  #PartnersInThePlan Edit Clip

He calls us friend. He invites us in to sit at the table with him, an invitation. He says, come and sit with me. Jesus isn't standing far off. He's not barking orders or issuing guilt trips. There's no shame for those who are in Christ Jesus. [00:53:42] (25 seconds)  #InvitationToAbide Edit Clip

Are we saving a seat for Jesus in every area of our lives? Abide in me, know me, what's the area of your life that you'd rather keep him way over there that you don't want a seat at the table at that part? That's the place we need to invite him into otherwise we'll never be healed. [00:55:38] (26 seconds)  #InviteJesusIn Edit Clip

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