Radical Acceptance: Reflecting God's Love in Community

Acceptance sounds like a passive word. You just accept people, that is, you just sort of let it happen. But in the biblical sense, acceptance is proactive. It's dynamic. It's assertive. I intentionally accept you, and when I'm intentionally accepting you, I'm holding you as a valuable person. I'm communicating to you that I honor you as a person, that I respect you as a person, that I hold you in high esteem as a human being. Almost nobody can resist that kind of communication. [00:00:37]

On what basis do we accept people when they're friendly when they like us when they're good people when they're part of our family on what basis do we accept us acceptance doesn't have any boundaries we are called to accept all people Romans 15 says accept one another then justice Christ accepted you we'll come back to that because that's a powerful thought and I want to explore it further but let's ask the question on what basis do you accept people are there any exceptions to those that you extend regard and esteem to acceptance is based on a very important theological premise [00:01:38]

And it's the biblical concept of acceptance respect and honoring one another but on what basis it's on the basis that we are all created in the image of God we are all image bearers of God now that is a nice theological proposition but it has profound implications for human interaction I think that next to the doctrine of God the doctrine of humanity humanity or personhood is the next most important Calvin John Calvin the reformer said all wisdom resides in this that a man or a person know God and that he know himself so that knowing who we are in the very most significant sense and knowing God our pillars of how we communicate let me give an illustration C .S. Lewis said that in life there are no innocent neutral interactions every human interaction has divine significance and worth he says every time we engage another person we [00:02:31]

We either nudge them towards eternal splendor and glory, that is, towards a God -likeness, that is, we're nurturing the image of God in them, or we are nudging them towards an eternal corruption and horror, we're mutilating, distorting, and injuring, doing injury to the image of God in that person. There are no neutral interactions. [00:03:57]

And this is a profound thought that every time I engage with another human being, I'm either moving them closer to a God -likeness, or I'm contributing to a warped, destructive destiny. Well, that affects how I treat my wife, my children, my Russian friends. It affects how I treat my boss. It affects how I treat my enemy. [00:04:30]

What does it mean that your enemies are made in the image of God? How does that determine how we treat our enemies? Well, let me give an illustration of another way in which this works itself out. Oh, by the way then, what that means is that every human interaction, every contact we have with another human being is intended to be a sacred moment. In the ultimate sense, I think it can be an act of worship. All of life is intended to be an act of worship to God. [00:05:04]

Actions which promote His glory, actions which move one another closer to His image, actions which take us in more clearly into the spiritual realm and make us people who are more like our Lord. Every action that distorts or mutilates or warps the image of God or does something bad, every one of those then is a profane moment. That is, we're profaning God and what He intends to have happen. [00:05:47]

So, profanity may not have so much to do with swearing, using bad words, but it may have a lot more to do with how we treat people. So we make common, we make profane that which God wants to be sacred and holy and draw people closer to Himself. Sometimes it comes out in fairly innocent ways. you yourself your Muriel. [00:06:20]

And pretty soon you realize that you're kind of losing touch with what's happening in the world, and the pain of the world, and the angst, and the lostness, and the depravity of the world. And so we decided, one of our students, one of my students actually said, I'd like for somebody to help me do a ministry on the streets of Chicago. And he said, I would like for it to be a black person and a woman. And I says, okay, I'll do it. I don't know, it just seemed right to say. [00:07:15]

So I talked to Muriel, and she was willing. And so we began a ministry, which continues. That was almost 20 years ago, and the ministry still continues. So we would arrive on the streets of Chicago about 8, 9 o 'clock at night until about 3 in the morning. And there was a fellow who gave us an orientation to the streets. You have to know how to function on the streets because they can be dangerous, especially in a big city like Chicago. [00:07:50]

And he says, if you're going to have a ministry on the streets, and we would wear a clerical collar, if you're going to have a ministry in the streets, you have to walk slowly. If you walk fast, people will never stop you. They'll never ask for help. They'll never want to talk. So you walk slowly. And you just make your way along like you have nothing to do except be there. [00:08:37]

And up on the opposite corner is a lady, young lady, scantily dressed, very suggestive clothing. And she's standing on the curb. So I said to my friend, I says, is that a prostitute? No, that's a person. See the difference between his perception of that individual and my perception? My category of prostitute immediately dehumanized her. [00:09:01]

God's category is not prostitute. That's not the first thing. He sees a human being who's living in such a way that the image, his image is being tarnished and ugly because of what she's doing. He sees a human being, but he sees a human being. And so he loves. And so he keeps the embrace open for her to come and to be part of his life and to develop a new life for herself. [00:09:45]

But with category of prostitute, once I put a person in a category, I tend to treat them according to the category. So I see another person, I see a banker, a very wealthy person. Hmm, respect, no respect. You see what happens. By the way in which we categorize people, we are either nudging them this way or this way. [00:10:17]

And we have to cultivate God's perspective in these situations. The perspective of every person is an image bearer of God and worthy of respect and esteem and honor. Now, they may have to go to jail if they've done things wrong, sure. But we do it in such a way so as not to dehumanize it. And we do it in such a way so that they feel honored and respected by us. [00:10:44]

And so they were locked up each night because that was the nature of things. But then in the daytime, they could go and do things. Well, one of the youngsters did something wrong. One of the teenagers did something wrong. And the penalty was to go out on the sidewalk with a kind of a knife or a blade and scrape gum off the sidewalk. Because as you entered the building, you had to leave your gum outside and they just spit it there and that. So that would be the punishment. [00:11:20]

There was one fellow who was in, when he was on duty, and he found out that this teenager had made this problem, done something wrong, and he says, you know the penalty. He says, yeah, I know I've got to scrape gum off the sidewalk. And he says, yes, that's your penalty. Let's go and do it. and he went out and he scraped gum off the sidewalk with this youngster. A way of showing respect, a way of bonding, a way of saying, I care, I embrace, I'm with you, we're together. Acceptance. [00:11:54]

And Paul starts out by saying we ought not to judge. And then he comes back in Romans 15 .1, we ought not to judge but to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Now, verse 5 of Romans 15. So it's in this context where there's the problem of schism, conflict. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. So our unity and the glory of God are attached. [00:14:14]

But how does this unity happen? Verse 7. Accept one another then, just as Christ accepted you in order to bring praise to God. Here's the question. What does it mean that Christ accepted you? Think about your salvation experience. Think about your life as a Christian. What does it mean that Christ has accepted you and me? [00:14:55]

So He accepted us while we were still rebelling against Him. We were rejecting Him. We were in rebellion. We were moving away from God. And He extends respect and honor and regard, acceptance toward us. So acceptance was not conditioned upon our being kind and gentle and good and open and so on. And that's amazing. That's amazing. [00:16:03]

How long is His acceptance last? Until you sin? Until you repent? Or until you sin again? It's unconditional. And it's forever. And it's part of our guarantee of eternal life with our Lord. It's in spite of who we are. So if we're going to accept others in the way in which Christ accepted us, then we have to accept in these ways unconditionally. [00:16:47]

We have to accept in spite of what they might be doing to us and continue. It's hard. But if everyone were to practice this, would life be better? It seems it would be wonderful. Now, it doesn't mean that people don't do things wrong, and it doesn't mean that we don't say to someone, you know, tell me why this pattern, why this behavior, and try to understand and maybe help them correct it. [00:17:30]

So when the prostitute's on the corner, all right, my friend, as he approaches, says, hello. She sees him coming, and she turns her back. He greets her anyway. I hope you're well tonight. And he keeps moving slowly. Second night, third night, twentieth night, fortieth night, hello. She turns her back. I hope you're feeling well tonight, or I hope it's good for you. It's a good time. And one night, she doesn't turn her back. He says, hello. She says, hello. And he stops. And they talk a bit. He says, I hope your night goes well. Be safe. Safety is a big problem in that profession. [00:18:08]

She doesn't turn her back. They talk a bit. He moves on. Now, in this case, he was a smoker, so he offers her a cigarette. She takes a cigarette, et cetera. Eventually, after a couple of weeks of this, her pimp is usually somewhere. So each time, he takes a bit longer. But you have to be careful because the pimp will beat you badly. So he knows all of this. He's streetwise. But as he takes a little bit longer each night, it's not really interfering with his income, so he's okay with it. But one night, he says, do you really like this lifestyle? [00:19:11]

She says, no, I hate it. I can't speak very loud. I hate it. I'd do anything to get out of this. He says, thank you. I hope it works. I hope it happens. The next night, he says, would you be willing to escape if I could arrange something? And they talk quietly, briefly, moves on. Well, eventually, the whole situation gets set up. [00:19:49]

And so she does the little talk and she gets in. The pimp says, fine, everything's great. Meanwhile, her apartment is being cleaned out. Her child is being taken as well. She tells the child that somebody's going to come for her that's going to babysit that night. and then they find a new place. Now, in the matter of a couple of weeks, she becomes a Christian. But now, you've got a whole new situation here. [00:20:25]

So acceptance, openness, embrace is working. It does work, even in these difficult situations. But now, a whole other set of issues come. She needs a job. She's lost her job. She made a pretty decent income. She's lost her apartment. She needs another apartment. She has... no income. She doesn't have any high school degree. She has to go back to school. Who's going to babysit the child? How is she going to live? Who's going to take care of all of this? [00:20:54]

So when you offer help, when you try to serve, very often it becomes very complicated. But the church now gets involved. And as far as we know to this day, she's still a wonderful church attender. Acceptance, then. Accept one another just as Christ accepted you. [00:21:23]

The primary skill here is seeing everyone as image bearers of God. Not seeing them in their vocation. Not seeing them as to whether they're high status or low status. Russian, American, Zimbabwean, Brazilian. It doesn't matter. Not seeing them in those terms. But saying, here's a human being. How can I extend embrace? How can I extend openness and acceptance so that they're more, and to do it in such a way that they're more inclined to see Jesus and to honor Him, to receive Him, to receive Him? Openness and acceptance. [00:21:45]

Understanding requires that you learn about people, from people, and with people. Important learning, significant learning is not going to happen unless there's a strong trust between the two people. You do not share information with people you don't trust. In the context of trust, you begin to speak about who you are and what's important. You're not going to trust until you feel that people respect you, esteem you, hold you in honor, hold you with some regard and some sense of value. [00:24:11]