Radical Acceptance: Embracing Clarity and Life's Preciousness

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"and the angels response well okay you're going to be silent until it happens because you did not believe my words and if you're somebody who doubts who struggles with faith um chuck is your guy because that's kind of your faith story that's my faith story indeed yeah yeah i'm actually honored to let me be on camera today because usually i'd sit in the background and make rude comments i think he felt like it was actually safer to have me on camera today so making rude comments on camera that's right" [00:01:35]

"so to go through that uh at one point just kind of ready that i didn't know if you'd live or die but then at the end of the treatment everything looked great it did it looked great and then they continued to monitor me for um you know following months and for you know a number of years afterwards and uh i was about two months um post chemotherapy when i went back in for my tumor markers and um the oncologist called me up the next day and it's it's never a good thing when your oncologist calls you up uh says hey chuck i want to talk to you and i'm like uh i don't like this and um he said um your tumor markers are elevated and we need you to come back in um uh they've gone up and" [00:04:06]

"so they had just mistaken somebody else's results for yours yeah and that person hadn't even been through somebody who hadn't been through the treatment yet and their tumor markers were still real high and uh so i presume that gentleman turned out okay afterwards too because again it remains very treatable for 97 so but yeah for that day it was like um i felt like lazarus coming out of the grave it was just powerful yeah so that's we were just talking about uh this week as we're together and that's been 30 years ago and i can remember so vividly the day that you called when the results were back going to bed that night and thinking uh on the one hand chuck's saying he's gonna die but then like i couldn't pray and i i just had this thought there has to be some mistake and then i thought oh that's what denial looks like" [00:06:22]

"and i also had that flash of clarity where i knew that i had a wife i could hug and kids i could hug and friends who love me and i knew that these were all very good things and so much more important than anything else that i would ever worry about in my life a 401 k or where i was living or what kind of car i drew was like in the drove it was just like i know what's important and this is what's important hug my wife hug my kids live life tell my friends i love them and god you are there and i knew it with clarity and um yeah something i wish i could bottle and just take a whiff of every now and then because oh gosh at the time it was like i'm so free i noticed that's true and what you were saying yesterday that was so striking to me was it's like" [00:08:17]

"we don't always get that in life and maybe to some people you just have a kind of faith that's always with you but i think a lot of us struggle with doubts uh but what you were saying yesterday is it's like when those moments of clarity come to you you have to seize them and steward them and when life returns to normal whatever that is or it's not as clear to you anymore um you cannot reject them you have to remember oh yes uh it was clear to me and i will hold on to that in times of doubt or stagnation or difficulties i will remember life does matter god is there" [00:08:59]

"and we're all wherever you are whatever you're going through it could be in a birth or the loss of somebody precious or an answer to prayer or a gift when that moment of clarity comes that life matters and god loves you yeah you've got to hold you have to be faithful to that in times when you're not as clear right because it's so easy to just discard those things and go oh i remember once and it's like now there's been moments that were precious the first time you ever kissed your spouse um you know when a child was born when you find out that oh you're not gonna die you're going to live and you go oh i see the veil has parted and i see what really matters in life and um i just know that i know this it wasn't doubt at all it was it was certain and then i can walk away and forget that later but it's like no i have to steward that i have to go back and remember that and just go i saw this i know it it was true" [00:09:42]

"so today the angel that came to zachariah that news that came to chuck comes to you comes to me you're alive today you have this gift so if you have someone in your life that you love go hug them and tell them you love them and thank god and embrace life and embrace this day radically accepted thanks you thanks john love you love you too man good to be here thank you" [00:11:04]

"and the markers went down and everything was great and the treatment is one of those things where interestingly where you're going through it you you um if you've been through cancer you may have been like this i was where i i didn't care if i lived or died because the chemo was so rough it was just like if i die this is great i was living in chino hills california and chuck was in atlanta and we would talk every week on saturday i'd call and i remember when you hit that point of just this is so awful i don't care and tell them what you did to prep for yeah i my hair started falling out after the initial weeks of chemo and it would just come out in clumps and it was sort of fun you could amuse your friends with it um but at some point it became kind of gross and so i shaved my head and called myself chemo man" [00:03:08]

"and um so i've lived with doubt all my life and it's just who i am and um it's it's okay uh painful at times and sometimes it's great but when the doctor called me up and said it was a laborer i had one of those moments when i knew with certainty certain things about life yeah and it was like i don't know why but at that moment i knew that god was there not because my life was saved it was just like that wasn't it i just knew that life was precious that it came from somewhere and i knew god was there" [00:07:18]

"and um because to have gone through the treatment and then have the numbers come back up that high that fast yeah means that it's not going to be right yeah i was at 3 and um so i said do i really have to wait a week for this and he goes now we'll run it again and so he drew the numbers and set up the lab test which uh set the lab up to do it again and i went to work on friday after they drawn on thursday and um my wife was at a at a church meeting so um he calls me up and he says i still have error it's like oh my god i'm going to live and uh he said you know heads are going to roll up to the lab and i go forget that i'm going to kiss him on the lips that's like the greatest day of my life uh he's like i'm so embarrassed so i'm like hey doc don't worry about this this is the best thing that's ever happened to me it's like this is fantastic so" [00:05:50]

"and i remember when you hit that point of just this is so awful i don't care and tell them what you did to prep for yeah i my hair started falling out after the initial weeks of chemo and it would just come out in clumps and it was sort of fun you could amuse your friends with it um but at some point it became kind of gross and so i shaved my head and called myself chemo man and um so to go through that uh at one point just kind of ready that i didn't know if you'd live or die but then at the end of the treatment everything looked great it did it looked great and then they continued to monitor me for um you know following months and for you know a number of years afterwards" [00:03:34]

"and um so i've lived with doubt all my life and it's just who i am and um it's it's okay uh painful at times and sometimes it's great but when the doctor called me up and said it was a laborer i had one of those moments when i knew with certainty certain things about life yeah and it was like i don't know why but at that moment i knew that god was there not because my life was saved it was just like that wasn't it i just knew that life was precious that it came from somewhere and i knew god was there" [00:07:18]

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