Purpose in the Process: Finding Calling Through Seasons

I would say that that is probably one of the most unbiblical things that anybody could ever say to you and if you're bold enough to tell him that someone told you that, then you can tell him they can come talk to me about it because god can use you even in your pain, even in your suffering, even in your self doubt, even when you're really wondering, am I even cold? Am I making a difference? Have I lost? Have I lost it? Maybe I missed it. You haven't lost it. You haven't missed it. You're not a mistake. See, God already had his plan laid out for you when he was knitting you together in your mother's womb. [01:24:50] (66 seconds)  #PurposeInPain

God, if all of this is if I'm mad at you because of this and I'm questioning everything about this, then why would you give me a platform to stand on every week that if you were to offer it to any other youth pastor in the entire denomination, they would jump at it in a heartbeat. Why did you choose me? Because obviously, I'm broken. I'm in process. And he said, I didn't hear it audibly but I felt it in my spirit. His answer was was because you said yes. You were willing to say, I'll go. You were faithful even though you were angry. You never backed down even though you doubted yourself. [01:02:32] (67 seconds)  #ChosenWhileBroken

But when my mom passed and I felt this pain that I had never felt before, I immediately developed empathy. So now, when people come to me with anything, I am empathetic to what they're walking through. I may not be able to 100% feel the exact pain that they're feeling but the look in their eyes matched the look that I had in my eyes when I went through my season so I can imagine and I can be empathetic and I can minister to to them in a way that I was not able to before I walked through that season but I was holding on to that hurt and that pain and that anger and I had to let it go. [01:09:15] (60 seconds)  #EmpathyFromLoss

Just like Moses had to let go some of his mistakes. He had to let go of the fact that he murdered someone. He didn't understand how god was gonna use a murderer to lead his people to the promised land. I had to let go of hurt that may or may not have actually been said. It could've just been someone trying, you know, the phrase hurt people, hurt people. Well, the person who said it was going through a tough time and so maybe in his own weird way, he just was telling me things to try to bring me down because he wanted me to feel how he was feeling. [01:10:16] (49 seconds)  #RedemptionNotMistakes

What changed was the location that the water was in And so maybe some of us tonight need to change our mindsets and say, you know what? My mindset's been over here where I'm still at the store and I'm only worth a dollar, but god's saying, no, you don't understand. When I look at you, I see airport prices and I see things that you can do and I know what you're gonna be able to do if you would just lean on me. [00:34:40] (29 seconds)  #SeeYourWorth

And so I had to forgive that person and I had to let that hurt go and I had to take that thought out of my mind that I am still that dollar bottle in the gas station but I'm actually a bottle in the airport where I have more value. It just I had to take myself out of one position and place it in a different position. [01:11:04] (24 seconds)  #ForgiveAndElevate

Why did my family have to walk through what it walked through? If you knew you were gonna take her, why did you stretch it out for nine months? Why did you take her so suddenly without me being able to say goodbye? If you knew, then why? Or I'll I'll sit in bed at night and I'll wonder You know, I don't I don't understand why someone would say something like that about me. I I I don't even remember having that many interactions with that person. I I I was always very friendly with with them. I never said anything that was inappropriate. I don't I don't understand why they, god, why? Why? [01:01:13] (65 seconds)  #WrestlingWithWhy

And it was because he didn't understand all the different seasons that I'd had to walk through to get from where I had started to where he met me and I hadn't fully dealt with the residuals of some of those seasons. But can I tell you that there is purpose in the process? See, what a lot of people don't understand is, yes, I I I I've talked about it. My kids have known about it. I've I and I make jokes about it now because I can but my mom passed away about four years ago. [00:49:01] (45 seconds)  #SeasonsShapeUs