Purity and Purpose in Romantic Relationships

 

Summary

The sermon begins with the pastor emphasizing the importance of purity in romantic relationships. He clarifies that being separate from unclean things refers to maintaining purity in relationships, not avoiding dirty dishes. He discusses the modern definition of dating, highlighting that it allows individuals to do whatever they want. However, he emphasizes that God knows what we truly need and encourages the congregation to submit to God's wisdom rather than following personal preferences. The pastor defines dating as learning the heart of a person to earn the right to spend life with them. He then shifts the focus to the importance of purity, stating that it is God's design for relationships. He warns about the consequences of sin and urges the congregation to set an example in purity for the generation coming up behind them.

The pastor then emphasizes the importance of looking into the perfect law of God every day to ensure that our lives align with His will. He encourages the congregation to examine their lives and make necessary changes to match up with God's standards. He also highlights the significance of focusing on one's relationship with God before seeking a romantic relationship. They explain that being the right person is crucial before expecting to find the right person. The pastor emphasizes that romantic relationships are a gift from God to complement and add value to one's life, rather than define one's worth.

The pastor shares a personal story about his dad's wisdom in helping him discern if a girl he liked was the right one for him. The pastor's dad asked him if the girl would support him in his calling as a pastor, pray for him, raise their children with godly principles, and take care of him when he's sick. Based on these criteria, the pastor's dad approved of the girl, and they ended up getting married. The pastor then emphasizes the importance of pursuing and reflecting qualities that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

The pastor emphasizes the power of God to cleanse and restore individuals. He encourages the congregation to come forward and pray for God to restore what has been lost in their lives. The pastor specifically mentions the need for the Holy Spirit to move and speak to the people, stirring their hearts and drawing them closer to God. The congregation is urged to respond to this call for prayer by getting out of their chairs and coming forward to seek restoration and healing.

The pastor concludes by emphasizing the importance of being in a relationship with someone who shares the same direction and calling in life. He uses the analogy of a horse tied to a donkey, explaining that when two individuals are tied together but have different goals and aspirations, it can create frustration and hinder personal growth. He advises the congregation, especially those who are young and single, to trust their parents' wisdom and discernment when it comes to romantic relationships, as they may see red flags that are overlooked due to infatuation.

Key Takeaways:

- The pastor emphasizes that purity is God's design for relationships. He warns about the consequences of sin and urges the congregation to set an example in purity for the generation coming up behind them. This is a reminder that our actions have consequences and that we should strive to live according to God's standards. [12:45]

- The pastor highlights the importance of focusing on one's relationship with God before seeking a romantic relationship. He explains that being the right person is crucial before expecting to find the right person. This is a reminder that our relationship with God should be our primary focus, and everything else will fall into place. [24:30]

- The pastor shares a personal story about his dad's wisdom in helping him discern if a girl he liked was the right one for him. This is a reminder that seeking wisdom from others, especially those who are older and more experienced, can be beneficial in making important decisions. [36:15]

- The pastor emphasizes the power of God to cleanse and restore individuals. He encourages the congregation to come forward and pray for God to restore what has been lost in their lives. This is a reminder that God is a God of restoration and that it's never too late to turn to Him for healing and restoration. [48:00]

- The pastor emphasizes the importance of being in a relationship with someone who shares the same direction and calling in life. He advises the congregation, especially those who are young and single, to trust their parents' wisdom and discernment when it comes to romantic relationships. This is a reminder that compatibility in terms of life goals and aspirations is crucial in a relationship. [59:30]

Study Guide

Bible Reading:
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1. 2 Corinthians 6:14-18: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.' And, 'I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.'"

2. 1 Timothy 4:12: "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

3. 1 Timothy 5:22: "Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure."

4. Philippians 4:8: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
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Observation Questions:
1. What does 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 say about the relationship between believers and unbelievers?
2. In 1 Timothy 4:12, what are the areas in which young believers are encouraged to set an example?
3. What does 1 Timothy 5:22 advise about purity and involvement in the sins of others?

Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the command in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 to not be yoked with unbelievers apply to romantic relationships?
2. How can the qualities mentioned in 1 Timothy 4:12 be reflected in a romantic relationship?
3. What implications does 1 Timothy 5:22 have for maintaining purity in relationships?

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current or past relationships. Have there been instances where you felt yoked with an unbeliever as described in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18? How did it affect your relationship with God and your spiritual growth?
2. In what ways can you set an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity as mentioned in 1 Timothy 4:12 in your relationships?
3. How can you apply the advice in 1 Timothy 5:22 to avoid being hasty and sharing in the sins of others in your relationships?
4. Think about your relationship goals. How do they align with the qualities mentioned in Philippians 4:8?
5. Can you identify a person in your life who could benefit from your example of purity and godliness in relationships? How can you intentionally model these qualities for them?

Devotional

Day 1: Embracing Purity in Relationships
God's design for relationships is rooted in purity. This purity is not just about physical actions but also about the intentions and motivations of our hearts. It is a call to set an example for the next generation, demonstrating that living according to God's standards is not only possible but also fulfilling. [12:45]

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 - "It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God."

Reflection: Reflect on your current relationships. Are there areas where you need to strive for more purity? How can you set an example for others in this area?

Day 2: Prioritizing God Before Relationships
Before seeking a romantic relationship, it is crucial to focus on your relationship with God. Being the right person in God's eyes is more important than finding the right person. When God is the center of your life, everything else, including relationships, will fall into place. [24:30]

Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Reflection: How can you prioritize your relationship with God today? What changes can you make to ensure God is the center of your life?

Day 3: Seeking Wisdom in Relationships
When it comes to relationships, seeking wisdom from those who are older and more experienced can be beneficial. They can provide a different perspective and help us discern if the person we are interested in aligns with our calling in life. [36:15]

Proverbs 19:20 - "Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise."

Reflection: Is there someone in your life whose wisdom you can seek regarding your relationships? How can their perspective help you make wise decisions?

Day 4: Experiencing God's Restoration
God is a God of restoration. No matter what has been lost or broken in your life, God has the power to restore and heal. It's never too late to turn to Him and seek His restoration. [48:00]

Joel 2:25 - "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you."

Reflection: What areas of your life do you need God's restoration? How can you seek His healing and restoration today?

Day 5: Aligning Life Goals in Relationships
In a relationship, it is important to share the same direction and calling in life. When two individuals are tied together but have different goals and aspirations, it can create frustration and hinder personal growth. Trusting the wisdom and discernment of those who care about us can help us see potential red flags in a relationship. [59:30]

Amos 3:3 - "Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?"

Reflection: Reflect on your current or potential relationship. Do you share the same life goals and aspirations? If not, how can you address this issue?

Quotes

1. "What you don't do is take this book and you start going sorry you're my wife you're the example I got... oh lord she's uh she's lacking in that area that's unfortunate oh god fix my wife hallelujah love so much yep well she's not doing that one either god just bless Samantha today hallelujah no that's not what you do. This is supposed to be a book that tells you how your life needs to be lived and how your life needs to match up and how your life needs to be changed and how your life needs to be examined and how your life needs to be altered so that when you are the person that you are looking for god will bring in the person that you need."

2. "If you need a romantic relationship to feel value then you will never know your true value because people's opinions of you constantly change... I don't get my value from a person's feelings towards me, I get my value because of what Jesus did for me and that person either adds to my value or they subtract from it and based on that I determine whether or not I need them in my life."

3. "Sin will take you further than you want to go, it'll cost you more than you want to pay, it'll keep you longer than you want to stay...Set an example in purity...am I setting an example in my life on what purity looks like for the generation coming up behind me?"

4. "You can stand there and you can pick and choose and swipe left all day long but i don't know i hear people say i don't even know what that means but you swipe left all day long until you find the one that looks the way you want but i'm gonna tell you right now at the core of who you were made to be god has the person who has who you need who has what you need who has why you need who has all the things that you need to tie you together perfect so you can fulfill the call of god on your life the way he designed you to fulfill it."

5. "If you're under 30 years old and you're single let me give you some advice from pastor ryan's life... trust your parents when they say something to you about your romantic relationship... they have these two things that you don't have yet it's called wisdom and discernment and they'll see some things in your relationship that you're missing completely."

6. "The reason the world says you need to sleep with people before you get married to find out if you like it is because we have an overly sexualized society that thinks sex is the base of a relationship. That is not the base, it is related later on in life. You got to touch a person's heart before you can ever touch a person's life."

7. "We want things that are pure but we don't want to live lives that are pure. We desire what is pure but we do not desire purity in our own lives."

8. "If your life has got filth inside of it when your world is turned upside down, the filth will rise."

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