Priorities in Collision (John Myer)

Wisdom is needed when the choice is not between good and evil, but between good, better, and best. Children’s sports can build discipline, cooperation, perseverance, and commitment to a team. Those are good things. But good things can crowd out devotion to God and involvement with his assembled body. The Bible, the Spirit, prayer, and the counsel of godly believers supply wisdom for decisions that a changing culture will not make easy.

A good theology of priority needs to be in place before the pressure comes. Exodus 20 puts God first, not as an unreasonable demand from a stranger, but as the claim of the God who delivered Israel, fed them, and led them. His jealousy is the language of relationship. The commandments resemble marriage vows, and breaking those vows has a downstream effect. Parents who devalue God leave an influence that can reach children and grandchildren. That is not an invisible curse attached to a family; it is the lasting effect of a life’s priorities.

Jesus carries that priority forward by commanding wholehearted love for God. Christ loved first and gave his all, so his claim on the believer’s all is reasonable. Love for neighbors, spouses, and children flows downstream from that first love. Without it, love can become mere indulgence. Seeking God’s kingdom first also means trusting him with the necessities that were not put first.

These convictions require wisdom, not a legalistic grid. An occasional Sunday tournament is not the same as a settled habit of missing the gathering. Families must consider how much is too much, communicate their priorities in ordinary conversation, and demonstrate them consistently. Children need more than restrictions that parents quietly exempt themselves from. The church, meanwhile, should assume the best, check on those repeatedly absent, and keep grace and theology together.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Good Things Still Need Their Place. Athletic development, teamwork, and perseverance are real goods, not enemies of faith. The difficulty comes when those goods compete with devotion to God and participation in his assembled body. Wisdom recognizes their value without allowing them to take the place that belongs to God. [34:05]
• 2. God’s Jealousy Is Covenant Relationship Language. God’s claim to first place follows his deliverance and care for Israel. His jealousy is not insecurity, but the seriousness of a relationship whose commitments matter. Treating the commandments like marriage vows makes clear why faithfulness matters and why unfaithfulness reaches beyond the individual. [40:44]
• 3. First Love Shapes Love For Others. Love for a neighbor flows downstream from wholehearted love for God. When human approval takes first place, love can shrink into agreement and indulgence. Putting God first gives direction to the love shown to spouses, children, coworkers, and neighbors. [46:16]
• 4. Children Learn Priorities From Adult Exceptions. A parent’s refusal of Sunday sports loses credibility when personal hobbies repeatedly receive an exception. Children notice whether the stated priority actually governs the household. A faithful legacy requires both ordinary conversations about loving God and visible choices that back those conversations up. [58:09]
• 5. Wisdom Distinguishes Exceptions From Settled Habits. An occasional absence does not carry the same meaning as regularly disappearing from the gathered church. Families need honest judgment about when a competing commitment has become too much. Fellow believers should assume the best while caring enough to check whether continued absence signals sickness or spiritual trouble. [59:11]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [25:59] - Wisdom for Difficult Decisions
• [28:44] - Children’s Sports and Sunday Commitments
• [33:26] - Choosing Between Good, Better, and Best
• [36:12] - Establishing a Theology of Priority
• [38:07] - God’s Claim to First Place
• [40:44] - Covenant Faithfulness and Family Legacy
• [44:34] - Wholehearted Love and Its Downstream Effect
• [48:19] - Seeking the Kingdom First
• [49:42] - Applying Priorities Without Legalism
• [53:38] - When Commitments Become Too Much
• [54:43] - Communicating the Family’s Top Priority
• [58:09] - Demonstrating Priorities and Extending Grace
• [1:00:03] - Prayer for Faithful Decisions

Bible Reading

Exodus 20:3-6
“You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.” [38:07]

Mark 12:30
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” [44:34]

Matthew 6:33
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” [48:19]

Observation questions

1. What good things can children gain from sports, and what higher priorities can those activities begin to crowd out? [34:15]
2. What had God done for Israel before giving the commands in Exodus 20:3–6, and how does that background frame his claim to first place? [39:24]
3. How does the command in Mark 12:30 express positively the priority established in Exodus 20:3–6? [44:39]
4. In the explanation of Matthew 6:33, what distinction is made between the things people need and the things they want? [49:22]

Interpretation questions

1. How does understanding God’s jealousy as faithfulness to a covenant relationship change the way a believer views his commandments? What does the comparison with marriage vows help explain? [40:44]
2. How can a parent’s everyday priorities influence children and grandchildren? How is that lasting influence different from an invisible curse attached to a family? [42:49]
3. Why does wholehearted love for God help a person love a spouse, child, or neighbor well? What might distinguish that love from simply giving someone whatever they want? [46:24]
4. Why does putting God’s kingdom first call for wisdom rather than an identical rule for every household? What makes an occasional Sunday absence different from a settled pattern of disengagement from the church? [54:09]

Application questions

1. What good commitment is currently competing for time and attention that belong to God and your church family? As you consider whether it has become too much, how could Scripture, prayer, the Spirit’s guidance, and counsel from a godly believer help you decide? [26:35]
2. When you consider putting God first in a difficult decision, what are you afraid you or your family might lose? How could Jesus’ promise in Matthew 6:33 help you trust him with your needs without assuming he promises every opportunity you want? [48:49]
3. What do your ordinary conversations communicate about why God comes first—not just what activities are allowed? What might be a natural opportunity this week to talk with your children, spouse, or someone close to you about that priority? [55:15]
4. Are there exceptions you regularly make for your own hobbies or preferences that you would question in someone else? What might those choices communicate to the people watching you, and what change would bring your actions closer to your stated priorities? [58:15]
5. In which relationship do you find it hardest to distinguish loving someone from keeping them happy? What could loving God first help you do differently while still showing that person patience and care? [47:05]
6. Is there someone in your church family you have not seen for a while? How could you check in with genuine concern, assume the best, and offer help rather than make them feel judged? [59:20]