Preparing the Heart: Becoming Vessels for God's Use

I do want what's best for them. I do love my enemies, not because I somehow dredged it up inside of me and manufactured it, but because I surrendered to the process that was happening. Our final thought is being a vessel of honor, it's not about perfection. It's about preparation. Being perfect as my holy father doesn't mean I did it. It means I surrendered to it. The process that happens day by day, thought by thought, emotion by emotion, breath by breath some days. Not because of my partner, not for my partner, but because of my relationship with Christ and what he is doing in me. Let us pray. [01:02:22] (51 seconds)  #VesselOfHonor

Don't hide behind this mask of, oh, well, I didn't do it. I wasn't gonna do it. It was just a thought. In the spiritual world, thoughts equal actions. Emotions equal intent. That is where it all starts and is won or lost. I love how he moves from anger into lust and then again, he's gonna move down into divorce. There's a pattern here. We start with what's intentional. Who am I offended by? Who am I angry at? Well, if I'm allowed to be angry, I'm also allowed to want what I want. [00:46:55] (40 seconds)  #IntentMatters

Or am I doing it because I genuinely care about the people around me? I wanna be part of this community. I wanna reconcile our differences. Intent matters more than the action. He goes on to talk about lust. I'm sorry. He goes on to talk about lust in verse 27. You have heard the commandment that says you must not commit adultery, but I say anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye, even your good eye, causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. [00:45:35] (40 seconds)  #GuardYourHeartAndGaze

So if we go up to the very top where he talks about anger. If I have sacrificed my ability to be offended, my rights to have offenses that are not biblical, so I'm not allowed a biblical anger about things that are just inconveniences or personal preferences for me, I am not allowed a right to retaliate. I have no ground for vengeance to get even, to get back at this person. And we think, oh, we don't do that in relationships. Every sitcom I have ever watched has the couple having petty attacks on each other. Moving phone cords, not telling them about appointments they scheduled, doing the silent treatment, deliberately sabotaging something, all in the hope of a laugh to get back at the partner to make them realize the pain that you caused me. That is retaliation. [00:56:56] (56 seconds)  #ChooseGraceNotRetaliation

Common knowledge says, oh, we should get better at communication the more we've been together. No. You get better at sharing one mind. That is wrong 50% of the time because you assumed they knew because by now, all you should know. Why? Why should they know? You just you just stop talking at a certain point and think they'll get it. They know me. I mean, let's be honest. I've working with some older people. I've been married now sixteen years. And you just reach a certain point where it's like, yeah, you know me. I'm crazy. [00:51:20] (31 seconds)  #CommunicateDontAssume

I'm not talking about it because I don't wanna talk about it because you haven't earned me talking about it. You haven't made up for it yet. We're not allowed to retaliate. We are to go the extra mile. Ultimately, love is a commitment, not a reaction. There's a reason when you look at the history of our wedding rings, why we don't wear wedding necklaces, wedding bracelets, wedding anklets, things that have a clasp that can be undone and taken off, things that don't continue in a loop forever and ever. There's no end to my ring. There's no end to your ring, which means that I don't get to decide when to offer my love to my partner. [00:58:46] (46 seconds)  #CommitmentNotReaction

When we become Christians, we surrender our rights to be offended, particularly in our relationships. I've done pastoral counseling for twelve years now, and I will say most of the things we are mad about in our relationships are not biblical things. They are matters of inconvenience. They are matters of personal preference. They are matters of family of origin, cultural differences, lack of communication, and an inability to articulate yourself to another human being. There's a whole lot of implied mind reading that happens in our relationships especially with our spouse. And the longer you've been together, the worse that gets. [00:50:36] (44 seconds)  #SurrenderOffense

He's reversed it. Internally, pharisaical law, our our way of version of doing things, as long as on the outside, there is no marked difference. I'm still here, still doing what I'm supposed to do, nothing has physically changed, I'm fine. Christ says, if internally your intents, your motivations is causing you to stumble, change the physical appearance. Make it known what's on the in is on the out. Get rid of it. Change the physicality to match the emotions and the intent. [00:46:21] (35 seconds)  #MakeInsideMatchOutside