Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Steps to Spiritual Freedom
Summary
### Summary
Today, we explored the critical topic of how to avoid self-sabotaging our lives. We often focus on building various aspects of our lives—careers, marriages, financial portfolios—without considering how to sustain them. The sermon emphasized that the real challenge lies not in external circumstances but in the internal decisions we make daily. We delved into five key areas that can lead to self-sabotage: ego, life mismanagement, indulgence, isolation, and the belief that it's not our fault. Each of these areas begins with a lie we tell ourselves, leading us down a path of destruction if not addressed.
Ego is the first step, where we believe "I know best," leading to self-centered decisions. Life mismanagement follows, where we think "I'll get to it later," causing chaos and disorder. Indulgence is the next step, where we justify excesses by saying "I deserve it," which can lead to hidden sins. Isolation comes next, where we believe "I can do it myself," cutting ourselves off from sound wisdom and community. Finally, we reach a point where we think "It's not my fault," refusing to take responsibility for our actions.
However, the good news is that just as there are steps into self-sabotage, there are steps out of it. We can walk back into the grace and freedom of Jesus Christ by making four key declarations: living an others-first life, maintaining personal priorities and self-discipline, raising our standards, and investing in authentic relationships. These steps help us shift our focus from ourselves to others, manage our lives better, set higher standards, and build a supportive community around us.
### Key Takeaways
1. Ego and Self-Centeredness: Ego is the first step towards self-sabotage, where we believe "I know best." This self-centered mindset leads us to make decisions that benefit us at the expense of others. Proverbs 11:2 warns that pride leads to disgrace, but humility brings wisdom. Recognizing and combating ego with humility is crucial for spiritual growth and maintaining healthy relationships. [31:29]
2. Life Mismanagement: Mismanaging our lives often starts with the lie, "I'll get to it later." This leads to chaos and disorder, affecting our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. Proverbs 13:16 emphasizes the importance of planning and thinking before acting. Proper management of time and resources is not just a personality trait but a spiritual discipline that God blesses. [34:25]
3. Indulgence and Excess: Indulgence begins with the lie, "I deserve it," leading us to justify excesses that can turn into hidden sins. 1 Corinthians 6:12 reminds us that not everything permissible is beneficial. We must evaluate whether our actions are spiritually appropriate and align with God's will, rather than merely seeking temporary relief or pleasure. [40:09]
4. Isolation: Isolation is a dangerous step where we believe "I can do it myself," cutting ourselves off from community and sound wisdom. Proverbs 18:1 warns that those who isolate themselves seek their own desires and quarrel against wisdom. Authentic relationships are essential for accountability, support, and spiritual growth. [43:18]
5. Raising Standards: As Christians, we are called to continually raise our standards, even in areas that are not sinful but not beneficial. Galatians 2:20 encourages us to live by faith in the Son of God, who loved us and gave Himself for us. Setting higher standards helps us avoid the edge of temptation and live a life that honors God. [55:48]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[24:25] - Introduction and Welcome
[25:25] - Honoring the Tech Team
[26:12] - Summer and Sandcastles
[27:25] - Building vs. Sustaining
[28:40] - The Epidemic of Self-Sabotage
[30:04] - Five Ways to Avoid Self-Sabotage
[31:29] - Ego and Self-Centeredness
[34:25] - Life Mismanagement
[40:09] - Indulgence and Excess
[43:18] - Isolation
[44:59] - Living an Others-First Life
[49:41] - Personal Priorities and Self-Discipline
[55:48] - Raising Standards
[01:00:33] - Investing in Authentic Relationships
[01:05:02] - Prayer and Invitation to Surrender
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Proverbs 11:2 - "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
2. Proverbs 13:16 - "All who are prudent act with knowledge, but fools expose their folly."
3. 1 Corinthians 6:12 - "I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything."
#### Observation Questions
1. What does Proverbs 11:2 say about the relationship between pride and disgrace? How does humility bring wisdom? [33:25]
2. According to Proverbs 13:16, what is the difference between the actions of wise people and fools? [37:41]
3. In 1 Corinthians 6:12, what does Paul mean when he says, "not everything is beneficial"? How does this relate to indulgence and excess? [41:59]
4. What are the five key areas that can lead to self-sabotage as discussed in the sermon? [30:04]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How can recognizing and combating ego with humility, as mentioned in Proverbs 11:2, contribute to spiritual growth and maintaining healthy relationships? [33:25]
2. Why is proper management of time and resources considered a spiritual discipline according to Proverbs 13:16? How does this impact our daily lives? [37:41]
3. How does the concept of "not everything is beneficial" in 1 Corinthians 6:12 challenge our modern understanding of freedom and personal rights? [41:59]
4. The sermon mentions that isolation leads to self-sabotage. How does Proverbs 18:1 support this idea, and why is community important for spiritual growth? [43:18]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when your ego led to a self-centered decision. How can you practice humility in similar situations moving forward? [33:25]
2. Identify one area of your life where you have been mismanaging your time or resources. What steps can you take this week to bring order to that area? [37:41]
3. Think about an indulgence you justify with the thought "I deserve it." How can you evaluate whether this action aligns with God's will and is spiritually appropriate? [41:59]
4. Have you ever found yourself isolating from others? What steps can you take to reconnect with your community and seek sound wisdom? [43:18]
5. The sermon encourages living an others-first life. What is one practical way you can put others' needs before your own this week? [44:59]
6. How can you raise your personal standards in areas that are not sinful but may not be beneficial? Identify one specific change you can make. [55:48]
7. Reflect on your current relationships. Do you have authentic connections where you can be vulnerable? If not, what steps can you take to build such relationships? [01:00:33]
This guide is designed to help your small group delve deeper into the sermon’s key points and apply them to their lives. Encourage open and honest discussion, and remind participants that growth often comes from vulnerability and community support.
Devotional
Day 1: Humility Over Ego
Ego is the first step towards self-sabotage, where we believe "I know best." This self-centered mindset leads us to make decisions that benefit us at the expense of others. Proverbs 11:2 warns that pride leads to disgrace, but humility brings wisdom. Recognizing and combating ego with humility is crucial for spiritual growth and maintaining healthy relationships. [31:29]
Proverbs 11:2 (ESV): "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom."
Reflection: Think of a recent decision you made that was driven by ego. How could humility have changed the outcome? Ask God to help you make more humble decisions today.
Day 2: Prioritizing Life Management
Mismanaging our lives often starts with the lie, "I'll get to it later." This leads to chaos and disorder, affecting our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. Proverbs 13:16 emphasizes the importance of planning and thinking before acting. Proper management of time and resources is not just a personality trait but a spiritual discipline that God blesses. [34:25]
Proverbs 13:16 (ESV): "Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly."
Reflection: Identify one area of your life that you have been procrastinating on. What steps can you take today to bring order and discipline to that area?
Day 3: Evaluating Indulgence
Indulgence begins with the lie, "I deserve it," leading us to justify excesses that can turn into hidden sins. 1 Corinthians 6:12 reminds us that not everything permissible is beneficial. We must evaluate whether our actions are spiritually appropriate and align with God's will, rather than merely seeking temporary relief or pleasure. [40:09]
1 Corinthians 6:12 (ESV): "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be dominated by anything."
Reflection: Reflect on a habit or indulgence in your life. Is it beneficial or is it leading you away from God's will? What changes can you make to align more closely with His desires for you?
Day 4: Embracing Community
Isolation is a dangerous step where we believe "I can do it myself," cutting ourselves off from community and sound wisdom. Proverbs 18:1 warns that those who isolate themselves seek their own desires and quarrel against wisdom. Authentic relationships are essential for accountability, support, and spiritual growth. [43:18]
Proverbs 18:1 (ESV): "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."
Reflection: Think of a time when you isolated yourself from others. How did it affect your decisions and well-being? Reach out to someone today and share a part of your life with them.
Day 5: Raising Standards
As Christians, we are called to continually raise our standards, even in areas that are not sinful but not beneficial. Galatians 2:20 encourages us to live by faith in the Son of God, who loved us and gave Himself for us. Setting higher standards helps us avoid the edge of temptation and live a life that honors God. [55:48]
Galatians 2:20 (ESV): "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Reflection: Identify one area in your life where you can raise your standards. What practical steps can you take to live a life that more fully honors God?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "In life, we spend a lot of time working on how to build things and very little time on how to sustain things. Like we want to build the career, we want to build the marriage, we want to build the financial portfolio, we want to build our education. We give so much effort and energy into building and a lot of times we don't think about how do we actually sustain the thing that we're building." [27:25]
2. "If you can step into it, here is the good news: you can step right out of it. So if you can get yourself into this situation, you can actually get out of this situation if you know where you are. And so what I want us to do today is I want us to evaluate as I'm talking to you today and go where might I be in this process because it's a process so that you can know where you are. And I think awareness is the first step to defeating the enemy within." [31:01]
3. "Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. That's a great word right there. Like how would that phrase right there just help all of us if I went around doing what I thought I could get by with I would be a slave to my whims." [41:59]
4. "The good news is that there are steps to get into sabotaging and imploding your life. It means that there are steps out of it. And if you can take steps out of it, you can walk back into the grace and mercy and freedom of Jesus Christ. But it means that in order to do that, you're going to have to admit where you are. You're going to have to get honest with yourself. And then you're going to have to be willing to take some steps." [44:03]
5. "I will live in others first life. I'm just going to determine that I'm going to live in others first life. And listen, this is not natural. So you're going to need God on this. And determine I'm not going to live for me, myself, and I. I'm not going to live a self-centered life. I'm going to live in others first life. And I think it's a declaration. You're going to have to make it every single day." [44:59]
### Quotes for Members
1. "It begins with ego and this shouldn't surprise us because it always begins with self-centeredness and there is a lie that we believe at this stage and the lie is I know best. Like the beginning of heading down a road where you are not a note taker and you're not a young man and you're starting to implode your life and you make choices you never thought you'd make you make decisions that you never thought you would take that path where you begin to say things that you never thought you would say it begins at this level where yourself is the highest level out there possible where you go I'm gonna build life around what is good for me and not good for others." [31:29]
2. "The lie that we believe when we start to begin to mismanage our life is I'll get to it later. Like, it doesn't seem like it's a big deal. And some people are like, you know what? I'm just out that organized or I'm not a type A. And we think that managing our life is a personality trait or it's just people that have OCD that want to put everything together. No, no, no. This is a spiritual thing because God blesses order. And anytime your life gets out of order, you are on the track to imploding it." [34:25]
3. "If isolation is the last step before self-sabotage, number four, I will invest in authentic relationships. And honestly, I didn't really understand this until I was right when I was hitting 40 years old. I was always, suck it up, buttercup. I don't need anybody. My emotional life is under control. And then my life started to fall apart. And I realized, oh, man, I'm in a bad place and I need some people around me. And I'm so thankful I had a few friends I could take the mask off with when it got real." [01:00:33]
4. "I will live with personal priorities and self-discipline. And I know people hate that word discipline. But it's one of my favorites. Paul says it like this in 1 Corinthians 9:27. But I discipline my body. And keep it under control. The pastor I was taught I should just do whatever I want. And Paul's like nope. Because your body will naturally do dumb things. Like you're going to have to discipline your flesh. Like you're going to have to choose to forgive even though you don't feel like forgiving. You're going to have to choose to serve even though you don't feel like serving. You're going to have to choose to be generous even though you don't feel like being generous." [49:41]
5. "I will raise my standards. Galatians 2:20 I've been crucified with Christ but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. Listen, I know this may sound old school, but here's what I want you to know. As Christians, the longer you walk with God, the more comes off your list of what you don't do. Well, teacher, I have freedom so I can do whatever I want. When is the last time you added something to the list? That you aren't going to do or allow in your life?" [55:48]