Obedience, Honor, and Healing: Living Well in Christ

Devotional

Day 1: Obedience and Honor: The Foundation of a Good Life

Obedience and honor toward parents are not just cultural values but are rooted in God’s design for human flourishing. When children learn to obey and honor their parents, they are being shaped for a life of wisdom, self-control, and healthy relationships. This is not about blind compliance, but about learning the value of authority and the blessing that comes from respecting those God has placed over us. The promise attached to this commandment is that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land—a reminder that God’s ways are for our good, even when they are difficult. [37:20]

Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Reflection: In what specific way can you show honor or obedience to your parents (or a parental figure) today, even if it feels difficult or undeserved?

Day 2: Breaking the Cycle: Learning from the Past

We are not doomed to repeat the mistakes of our parents or previous generations. God calls each person to take responsibility for their own choices, refusing to live in blame or bitterness. By understanding the brokenness in our family lines, we can choose to learn from both good and bad examples, and with God’s help, become “repairers of the breach” for future generations. This is a call to break generational cycles of sin and to build a new legacy of faithfulness and healing. [01:00:41]

Isaiah 58:12 (ESV)
And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in.

Reflection: What is one negative pattern or “breach” from your family history that you sense God calling you to break or repair, starting today?

Day 3: Taking Responsibility: Refusing to Blame

It is easy to blame our parents or circumstances for our struggles, but God’s Word calls us to own our choices and actions. Ezekiel 18 makes it clear that each person is responsible before God for their own life. When we stop blaming others and acknowledge our own decisions, we are freed from bitterness and able to walk in the healing and forgiveness Jesus offers. This is the path to maturity and wholeness, refusing to let the past define our future. [58:50]

Ezekiel 18:1-4 (ESV)
The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As I live, declares the Lord God, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel. Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul who sins shall die.”

Reflection: Is there an area of your life where you have been blaming someone else for your pain or struggles? What would it look like to take responsibility and invite God’s healing into that place?

Day 4: God as Father to the Fatherless

No matter how flawed or absent our earthly parents may be, God promises to be a Father to the fatherless and to give double for our shame. He brings people into our lives to teach, guide, and love us, filling the gaps left by others. When we let God father us, we experience restoration, belonging, and the ability to thrive despite our past. His love and provision are more than enough to heal every wound and supply every need. [01:03:55]

Psalm 68:5-6 (ESV)
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Reflection: Where have you felt the ache of fatherlessness or lack in your life, and how might you invite God to father you in that area today?

Day 5: Walking in Healing, Not in Blame or Shame

Through Jesus’ wounds, we have been healed—past tense. The gospel frees us from living in cycles of blame, shame, and victimhood. Instead, we are invited to walk in the wholeness and freedom that Christ has already purchased for us. This means putting our confidence in God’s promises, not in the shifting sands of culture or our feelings. Each day, we can choose to live as healed people, letting go of bitterness and embracing the new life Jesus offers. [01:10:04]

1 Peter 2:24 (ESV)
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

Reflection: What is one area of blame, shame, or victimhood you need to surrender to Jesus today, trusting that by His wounds you are already healed?

Sermon Summary

This morning, we reflected on the call to follow Jesus’ example—not seeking to be first, but choosing to serve, to turn the other cheek, and to overcome evil with good. We asked God to shape us, to renew our minds, and to empower us where we are weak, so that we might be conformed to the image of the Son. As we opened Scripture, we considered the cultural forces that shape us—honor, dignity, and victimhood cultures—and how, as followers of Jesus, our lives are to be conformed not to culture, but to the Word of God.

We focused on Ephesians 6:1-3, where children are called to obey and honor their parents. Obedience is foundational, not just because it is commanded, but because it is right and it forms the basis for learning authority, self-control, and the ability to live well in community. We discussed how obedience and honor are different—obedience can be external, but honor is about valuing and esteeming our parents, even when it is difficult.

I shared my own story of honoring a father who was absent and deeply flawed. Honoring does not mean excusing wrongs or pretending pain isn’t real. Instead, it means seeking to understand, refusing to blame, learning from both good and bad examples, and ultimately letting God be the perfect Father we all need. We looked at Ezekiel 18, which rejects the idea of blaming our parents for our own choices. Each of us is responsible for our own lives; bitterness and blame only poison us.

God’s promise is that when we honor and obey, it will go well with us. This is not just about family, but about all of life—learning to live under authority, to be agreeable, diligent, and self-controlled. These are the qualities that lead to flourishing, not just in our homes, but in our workplaces and communities. And for those who have experienced brokenness or fatherlessness, God is the Father to the fatherless, able to restore and give double for our shame. He brings people into our lives to fill the gaps, and by His wounds, we are healed. We are invited to walk in that healing, to let go of blame and bitterness, and to live in the freedom and wholeness Jesus has won for us.

Key Takeaways

1. Obedience and honor are distinct but essential Obedience is about following instructions, but honor is about valuing and esteeming those in authority, especially parents. True honor goes beyond mere compliance; it is a heart posture that recognizes the worth of another, even when it is difficult. This distinction shapes not only our family relationships but also our relationship with God and others. [49:30]
2. Refusing to blame brings freedom Blaming parents or others for our struggles leads to bitterness and bondage. Scripture calls us to take responsibility for our own choices, recognizing that while we are shaped by our past, we are not defined or limited by it. Freedom comes when we own our decisions and let go of the root of bitterness, allowing God’s grace to heal us. [58:50]
3. Learning from both good and bad examples We can honor our parents by learning from their lives—imitating what is good and rejecting what is destructive. Even painful family histories can become places of redemption when we choose to break cycles of dysfunction and become “repairers of the breach” for future generations. [60:41]
4. God is the perfect Father to the fatherless No matter how flawed our earthly parents may be, God steps in to father us, bringing healing, restoration, and even “double for our shame.” He provides mentors, community, and spiritual family to fill what is lacking, inviting us to walk in wholeness and freedom. [63:55]
5. Living under authority leads to flourishing Learning to honor and obey authority is foundational for a good life. It shapes our ability to thrive in relationships, work, and community. God ordains authority for our good, and when we submit to it with the right heart, we experience His blessing and peace. [68:50]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[29:18] - Opening Prayer and Jesus’ Example
[31:35] - Story: India, Honor, and Culture
[33:26] - Arranged Marriages and Honor Societies
[34:37] - Dignity and Victimhood Cultures
[35:42] - Conforming to Scripture, Not Culture
[36:03] - Ephesians and Relationships
[37:09] - Children and Parents: Ephesians 6
[38:41] - Obedience vs. Submission
[39:24] - Why Obey? God’s Reason
[41:46] - The Consequences of Disobedience
[43:23] - Training Children to Obey
[47:30] - Authority vs. Power
[48:53] - Honor vs. Obedience
[49:30] - Honoring Difficult Parents
[55:55] - How to Honor: Four Ways
[62:24] - God as Father to the Fatherless
[66:43] - The Blessing of Obedience and Honor
[69:32] - Communion: Healing and Wholeness
[77:14] - Closing Prayer and Blessing

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV) — Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Ezekiel 18:1-4, 19-20 (ESV) The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As I live, declares the Lord God, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel. Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul who sins shall die... “Yet you say, ‘Why should not the son suffer for the iniquity of the father?’ When the son has done what is just and right, and has been careful to observe all my statutes, he shall surely live. The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.” Psalm 68:5 (ESV) Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

Observation Questions

According to Ephesians 6:1-3, what is the difference between obeying and honoring parents? How does the passage connect these actions to God’s promise? [49:30]
In Ezekiel 18, what proverb were the Israelites using to explain their problems, and how does God respond to it? [58:50]
What does Psalm 68:5 say about God’s character, especially for those who have experienced fatherlessness? [01:02:24]
In the sermon, what personal story did the pastor share about honoring a difficult or absent parent, and what steps did he take to honor his father? [55:55]

Interpretation Questions

Why does Paul say that obedience to parents is “right” and comes with a promise? What does this reveal about God’s design for families and communities? [37:20]
How does the distinction between obedience (external action) and honor (heart attitude) affect the way someone relates to their parents, especially when the relationship is strained? [49:30]
According to Ezekiel 18, why is it important to take responsibility for our own choices instead of blaming our parents or upbringing? How does this relate to the idea of freedom and healing? [58:50]
The pastor described learning from both good and bad examples in his family history. How can someone honor their parents even when their example was negative? [01:00:41]

Application Questions

Think about your own upbringing. Are there ways you have obeyed your parents outwardly but struggled to honor them in your heart? What would it look like to move toward true honor, even if it’s difficult? [49:30]
If you have experienced pain or disappointment from your parents, how have you processed that? Are there areas where you are still blaming them for your struggles? What would it look like to take responsibility for your own choices, as Ezekiel 18 teaches? [58:50]
The pastor shared that honoring a flawed parent meant seeking to understand their story, refusing to blame, and learning from their life. Is there a step from his example that you could try this week in your own family relationships? [55:55]
For those who have experienced fatherlessness or brokenness in their family, how have you seen God provide “spiritual family” or mentors in your life? Are there people God has brought to fill in the gaps? [01:03:55]
The sermon emphasized that living under authority—learning obedience, being agreeable, diligent, and self-controlled—leads to flourishing in all areas of life. Which of these qualities do you find most challenging, and what is one practical way you could grow in it this month? [01:08:50]
Are there any “roots of bitterness” or patterns of blame in your life that you sense God is inviting you to let go of? What would it look like to walk in the healing and freedom Jesus has already won for you? [01:10:30]
Is there someone in your life—parent, boss, or another authority figure—whom you find it hard to honor? What is one specific action you could take this week to show them honor, even if you disagree with them? [49:30]

Sermon Clips

``And I said, dad, listen, we have not got to know each other the way dads and sons should. And I want to know you like a dad and son should. And the only way that's going to happen now is for you to believe in Jesus Christ. Jesus has died for your sins. And you right now can accept his forgiveness and have your name written in the Lamb's book of life. You can do that by his grace. [00:53:50] (27 seconds) #NoBlameGame

We are moving back to a society that says, my father ate sour grapes and that's why my teeth are set on edge. So I have spoken with a number of parents whose adult children have gone off and moved somewhere else, seen a counselor, seen a therapist, seen somebody that has then said, all your problems are your parents. And they've come back down here and literally had a list of things written out. You did this wrong, you did this wrong, and just listed them out. Unless you apologize to me for all these wrongdoings, I'm cutting you off. No holidays, no grandkids, nothing. I've talked to a number of parents that have happened too. That is the opposite of the gospel. [00:59:09] (42 seconds) #AuthorityFromGod

The truth is this. You know why my teeth are set on edge? Because I ate sour grapes. I made decisions. I've done things. When you go back to the disciples, is it I? I did it. That's why my teeth are set on edge. And if you don't do that, a root of bitterness will get into your heart and it will defile your entire life. That's what's happening to these people. It's not the gospel. I don't blame my dad. I don't blame him. I've made my own decisions. I've done enough stupid things to put my own teeth on edge. [00:59:51] (37 seconds) #ChooseHealing

There's been a breach made for generations, going back at least four generations. A breach of addiction and alcoholism that has destroyed generation after generation after generation. My older brother, dead from alcoholism. And I read that verse and I said, I'm going to restore the breach, not in my family. There'll be no alcohol in my family. And so my wife and I, 25 years of marriage, not a drop of alcohol. Our kids have never seen alcohol in our home because I said, no, no more. I don't need any more evidence to know how bad alcohol is for the Heverleys. [01:01:22] (38 seconds)

So I honor him from learning from his life. And then lastly, I honor my dad by letting God be my father. Psalm 68, 5 says this, God will be a father to the fatherless. The psalmist says this in Psalm 37, when, not if, when my father and mother forsake me, then God brought me in. Not if, it's going to happen because parents are flawed. When, then God brought me in. [01:02:22] (37 seconds)

And you'll learn that because so much of life is out of my control. So much of my life I can't control. And if I'm raging and getting upset and disobedient at everything in the world that's out of my control, I'm releasing a cocktail of dangerous chemicals into my bloodstream every time I do that. So it's so simple. Obey and honor your parents. It's where it all begins. [01:08:55] (24 seconds)

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