Navigating Relationships with Divine Wisdom
Summary
### Summary
Today, we delved into the topic of relationships, focusing on the essential role of wisdom. Relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, require more than just communication and understanding of roles. They need wisdom to navigate the complexities and challenges that arise. Wisdom is the ability to apply God's Word skillfully for a God-honoring relationship. This is crucial for everyone, whether married, single, divorced, or in a complicated situation.
We often rely on societal norms and superficial criteria when choosing partners or managing relationships, but these methods frequently fail. Instead, we need wisdom to discern God's will and to make choices that align with His principles. Wisdom helps us see beyond the immediate and the superficial, guiding us to make decisions that foster long-term harmony and spiritual growth.
James 3:13-18 provides a blueprint for this kind of wisdom. It describes wisdom from above as pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere. These qualities are essential for maintaining healthy relationships. They help us navigate conflicts, manage our own flaws, and support our partners in their weaknesses.
In practical terms, wisdom means not insisting on always being right, being open to correction, and showing mercy even when we are wronged. It means striving for peace and harmony rather than division and strife. This kind of wisdom transforms relationships, making them resilient and fulfilling.
### Key Takeaways
1. Wisdom in Choosing Partners: Wisdom is crucial even before entering a relationship. It helps us discern the true character and spiritual alignment of a potential partner, ensuring that we make choices that honor God and foster long-term harmony. Without wisdom, we risk making decisions based on superficial criteria, leading to future conflicts and regrets. [09:00]
2. Wisdom in Managing Self and Others: Managing oneself is challenging enough, but wisdom is essential when managing a relationship with another person, especially when children are involved. Wisdom helps us balance our responsibilities and maintain harmony, even when life becomes overwhelming. [10:38]
3. Wisdom vs. Information: There is a significant difference between having information and possessing wisdom. Information is about knowing facts, while wisdom is about applying those facts skillfully in real-life situations. Wisdom integrates knowledge with experience, enabling us to navigate complex relational dynamics effectively. [12:13]
4. Relational Wisdom from James 3: James 3:13-18 outlines the characteristics of wisdom from above, which include being pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere. These qualities are essential for maintaining healthy and God-honoring relationships. [17:14]
5. Practical Application of Wisdom: Wisdom in relationships means not insisting on always being right, being open to correction, and showing mercy even when wronged. It involves striving for peace and harmony rather than division and strife. This practical application of wisdom transforms relationships, making them resilient and fulfilling. [45:16]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[01:21] - Introduction to Relationships
[02:45] - Inclusivity in Relationship Sermons
[04:20] - Common Relationship Advice
[05:36] - Three Essentials for Biblical Relationships
[07:07] - Importance of Wisdom
[09:00] - Wisdom in Choosing Partners
[10:38] - Wisdom in Managing Self and Others
[12:13] - Difference Between Wisdom and Information
[14:05] - Relational Wisdom from James 3
[17:14] - Characteristics of Wisdom from Above
[19:31] - Jealousy and Selfish Ambition
[21:12] - Selfishness in Relationships
[23:07] - Demonic Nature of Selfishness
[25:01] - Alignment in Relationships
[27:29] - Wisdom in Practical Life
[30:05] - Wisdom in Challenging Times
[31:33] - Applying God's Word Skillfully
[33:02] - Belief and Behavior in Relationships
[35:58] - Competence in Relationships
[37:47] - Common Relationship Issues
[40:01] - Nine Keys to Thriving Relationships
[43:02] - Spirit-Filled Living
[45:16] - Practical Application of Wisdom
[49:50] - Mental Checklist for Wisdom
[51:16] - Conclusion and Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- James 3:13-18
- Ephesians 5:15-18
#### Observation Questions
1. According to James 3:13-18, what are the characteristics of wisdom from above?
2. How does Ephesians 5:15-18 describe the behavior of a wise person?
3. In the sermon, what are some examples given of how wisdom can help in choosing a partner? [09:00]
4. What is the difference between wisdom and information as explained in the sermon? [12:13]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does James emphasize the qualities of wisdom such as being pure, peaceable, and gentle? How do these qualities contribute to healthy relationships?
2. How does the concept of being filled with the Spirit in Ephesians 5:18 relate to the practical application of wisdom in relationships? [40:32]
3. The sermon mentions that wisdom involves not insisting on always being right and being open to correction. How can this approach transform conflicts in relationships? [45:16]
4. What does it mean to skillfully apply God's Word in relationships, and why is this important for both singles and married individuals? [14:05]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current relationships. Are there areas where you have been insisting on being right? How can you practice being more open to correction and showing mercy? [45:16]
2. Think about a recent conflict you had. How could applying the qualities of wisdom from James 3:17 (pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere) have changed the outcome?
3. In what ways can you make being filled with the Spirit a daily practice to enhance your relationships? Consider specific actions you can take based on Ephesians 5:18. [40:32]
4. Identify a relationship in your life that is currently out of alignment. What steps can you take to bring it back into alignment using the wisdom principles discussed in the sermon? [25:24]
5. How can you discern God's will in choosing a partner or managing a relationship? What practical steps can you take to ensure your decisions align with God's principles? [09:00]
6. Reflect on the difference between having information and possessing wisdom. How can you move from merely knowing facts to skillfully applying them in your relationships? [12:13]
7. Consider a time when you felt overwhelmed by your responsibilities in a relationship. How can wisdom help you balance these responsibilities and maintain harmony? [10:38]
This guide is designed to help your small group delve deeper into the sermon’s message on wisdom in relationships, encouraging practical application and personal growth.
Devotional
Day 1: Wisdom in Choosing Partners
Choosing a partner is one of the most significant decisions you will make in life. It requires more than just emotional attraction or societal approval; it demands wisdom. Wisdom helps you discern the true character and spiritual alignment of a potential partner, ensuring that your choice honors God and fosters long-term harmony. Without wisdom, you risk making decisions based on superficial criteria, leading to future conflicts and regrets. Wisdom allows you to see beyond the immediate and the superficial, guiding you to make choices that foster long-term harmony and spiritual growth. [09:00]
Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
Reflection: Think about the qualities you value in a potential partner. Are these qualities aligned with God's principles? How can you seek God's wisdom in your current or future relationships?
Day 2: Wisdom in Managing Self and Others
Managing oneself is challenging enough, but wisdom is essential when managing a relationship with another person, especially when children are involved. Wisdom helps you balance your responsibilities and maintain harmony, even when life becomes overwhelming. It guides you in navigating conflicts, managing your own flaws, and supporting your partner in their weaknesses. Wisdom is not just about making the right decisions but also about maintaining a God-honoring attitude in all circumstances. [10:38]
Proverbs 24:3-4 (ESV): "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches."
Reflection: Reflect on a recent conflict or challenge in your relationships. How did you handle it? How can you apply wisdom to manage similar situations better in the future?
Day 3: Wisdom vs. Information
There is a significant difference between having information and possessing wisdom. Information is about knowing facts, while wisdom is about applying those facts skillfully in real-life situations. Wisdom integrates knowledge with experience, enabling you to navigate complex relational dynamics effectively. In a world overflowing with information, it is easy to mistake knowledge for wisdom. However, true wisdom comes from God and is characterized by qualities such as purity, peace, gentleness, and mercy. [12:13]
Ecclesiastes 7:12 (ESV): "For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it."
Reflection: Consider an area in your life where you have a lot of information but struggle to apply it wisely. How can you seek God's wisdom to bridge this gap?
Day 4: Relational Wisdom from James 3
James 3:13-18 outlines the characteristics of wisdom from above, which include being pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere. These qualities are essential for maintaining healthy and God-honoring relationships. They help you navigate conflicts, manage your own flaws, and support your partners in their weaknesses. This kind of wisdom transforms relationships, making them resilient and fulfilling. [17:14]
James 3:17-18 (ESV): "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."
Reflection: Reflect on your current relationships. Which of the qualities listed in James 3:17-18 do you need to cultivate more? How can you start doing that today?
Day 5: Practical Application of Wisdom
Wisdom in relationships means not insisting on always being right, being open to correction, and showing mercy even when wronged. It involves striving for peace and harmony rather than division and strife. This practical application of wisdom transforms relationships, making them resilient and fulfilling. Wisdom helps you see beyond the immediate and the superficial, guiding you to make decisions that foster long-term harmony and spiritual growth. [45:16]
Proverbs 15:1-2 (ESV): "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly."
Reflection: Think of a recent disagreement or conflict. How could you have applied wisdom to handle it differently? What steps can you take to ensure you apply wisdom in future conflicts?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Today I want to talk about wisdom. Can y'all say wisdom? I want to talk about wisdom on today. You know, I think about the biblical requirements for the husband, the requirements for the wife... if we don't have wisdom we don't know how to apply those things. It's like giving somebody a recipe just ingredients so they need to know how to put the ingredients together." [07:07] (60 seconds)
2. "You need wisdom before you choose your boo and make a boo-boo... You need wisdom as a single before you choose the person you're going to marry. Typically we're not using wisdom... you need wisdom. What does God assign? What does God call for? Does this person possess it? Are they on a good trajectory?" [09:00] (60 seconds)
3. "The principle of relational wisdom says it's the ability to apply God's word skillfully for a God-honoring relationship... Whether you are married or you are single or you are divorced or you just want companionship, the question becomes are you doing it in a God-honoring way and skillfully applying God's word?" [14:05] (18 seconds)
4. "If God can't do it, it can't be done. But the Bible says there's nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing impossible for God. How many of y'all believe God today? Hallelujah to His name." [40:01] (14 seconds)
5. "We don't want to be legalistic. But this is kind of a mental checklist for if you're functioning with God's wisdom. Wisdom from above. That's the first ingredient to having the relationship that God wants to see you have. It's the compatible medication to help all the other stuff work. It's wisdom." [49:50] (28 seconds)
### Quotes for Members
1. "What I thought about was you know what I think there are three other things that people need if they're going to execute the biblical standards in relationships... if you don't have these three things you cannot implement the biblical principles." [04:20] (60 seconds)
2. "How do we function with wisdom in our relational context? Singles need wisdom as well... Is the American dating system producing good results? Then why do we keep practicing the American dating system if it's not producing good results?" [12:13] (60 seconds)
3. "The belief in the relationship... we want to give up on the relationship when we lose our belief in the viability and the satisfaction of the relationship. I don't believe in you anymore. I don't believe in this relationship anymore. I don't believe in what we're doing anymore." [33:02] (60 seconds)
4. "The principle of relational wisdom is the ability to apply God's Word skillfully for a God-honoring relationship. The need for relational wisdom is that we need to get out of alignment and we need wisdom to stay in alignment." [31:33] (60 seconds)
5. "Being spirit-filled. Being pure. Being peaceful. Being gentle. Being open to reason. Full of mercy. Full of good fruits. Impartial sincere. We don't want to be legalistic. But this is kind of a mental checklist for if you're functioning with God's wisdom. Wisdom from above." [49:50] (30 seconds)