Navigating Life's Pits: Embracing Loss and Surrender
Summary
In our journey through life, we often encounter moments that feel like insurmountable pits—financial, emotional, or relational. These are times when we can't simply go around or over the challenges; we must go through them, often requiring help from others. This series is about navigating these difficult phases, particularly focusing on the six stages of loss: shock, sorrow, struggle, surrender, sanctification, and service. These stages are not linear; we can experience them in any order, sometimes all in one day.
Initially, shock leaves us numb, and we need the support of others to think, pray, and believe for us. As we move into sorrow, we transition from numbness to grief, which is a healthy and necessary process. Grief is God's way of helping us through life's transitions, and avoiding it can lead to emotional and physical issues. In the struggle phase, we often feel anger and frustration, questioning God and life. It's essential to express these feelings through lament, appealing to God's nature, and reminding Him of His promises.
This week, we focus on surrender, which leads to peace. Surrender involves accepting what cannot be changed and trusting God with the outcome. We have three choices when faced with adversity: let it destroy us, define us, or develop us. By choosing to let it develop us, we open ourselves to growth and transformation. King David's story of losing his child teaches us the principles of finding peace through surrender. Acceptance doesn't mean we stop caring or that it doesn't hurt; it means acknowledging reality and trusting God with the future.
Key Takeaways:
1. The Importance of Community in Shock: When we experience shock, we need others to help us think, pray, and believe. This phase is characterized by numbness, and having a supportive community is crucial to navigate through it. We must allow others to carry us when we cannot carry ourselves. [04:37]
2. Embracing Grief as a Healing Process: Grief is a natural and necessary response to loss. It is God's way of helping us transition through life's changes. Avoiding grief can lead to emotional and physical issues, so it's important to face it and allow it to heal us. [05:02]
3. Expressing Struggle Through Lament: In the struggle phase, we often feel anger and frustration. It's essential to express these feelings through lament, which involves complaining to God, appealing to His nature, and reminding Him of His promises. This honest communication with God can lead to deeper trust and peace. [07:12]
4. Surrender as a Pathway to Peace: Surrender involves accepting what cannot be changed and trusting God with the outcome. It is the pathway to peace, allowing us to let go of control and open ourselves to God's blessings and growth. [07:54]
5. Choosing Development Over Destruction: When faced with adversity, we have three choices: let it destroy us, define us, or develop us. By choosing to let it develop us, we open ourselves to growth and transformation, allowing God to bring beauty from ashes. [08:50]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:09] - Family Birthdays and Fun
[02:31] - The Pits of Life
[03:18] - Six Phases of Loss
[04:37] - Shock and Community Support
[05:02] - The Role of Grief
[07:12] - Struggle and Lament
[07:54] - Surrender and Peace
[08:50] - Choices in Adversity
[10:21] - David's Story of Loss
[13:39] - Accepting What Cannot Be Changed
[18:36] - Remembering It's Not the End
[24:28] - Finding Peace in Surrender
[25:42] - Journey Toward Hope
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
- 2 Samuel 12:16-24
- Romans 15:4
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Observation Questions:
1. What are the six stages of loss mentioned in the sermon, and how are they described as non-linear? [03:52]
2. How does the sermon describe the role of community during the shock phase of loss? [04:37]
3. What does the sermon say about the importance of expressing struggle through lament? [07:12]
4. How does King David's story illustrate the principle of surrender leading to peace? [10:21]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. In what ways does the sermon suggest that grief is a necessary and healthy process? How does this align with the biblical understanding of grief? [05:02]
2. How does the sermon explain the concept of surrender as a pathway to peace, and what biblical principles support this idea? [07:54]
3. What does the sermon suggest about the choices we have when faced with adversity, and how does this relate to personal growth and transformation? [08:50]
4. How does the story of David's loss in 2 Samuel 12:16-24 provide a framework for accepting what cannot be changed? [13:52]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a time when you experienced shock. How did your community support you, and how can you be that support for someone else now? [04:37]
2. Are there any losses in your life that you have not fully grieved? What steps can you take to allow yourself to go through the grieving process? [05:47]
3. Think about a current struggle you are facing. How can you express this struggle to God through lament, and what promises of God can you remind Him of? [07:12]
4. What is a situation in your life where you need to practice surrender? How can you trust God with the outcome and find peace in that surrender? [07:54]
5. Consider a past adversity that you allowed to define you. How can you reframe this experience to let it develop you instead? [08:50]
6. What is something in your life that you need to accept as over? How can accepting this reality help you move forward? [13:52]
7. How can you remind yourself that your current situation is not the end of the story, and what steps can you take to focus on the hope that lies ahead? [18:36]
Devotional
Day 1: The Power of Community in Times of Shock
In moments of shock, when life throws unexpected challenges our way, we often find ourselves numb and unable to process what is happening. During these times, the support of a community becomes invaluable. It is through the love and care of others that we can begin to think, pray, and believe again. Community acts as a lifeline, carrying us when we cannot carry ourselves. This phase of shock is not meant to be faced alone; it is a time to lean on others and allow them to help us navigate through the initial numbness and confusion. [04:37]
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2, ESV)
Reflection: Who in your life can you reach out to for support during times of shock? How can you also be a source of strength for someone else in their time of need?
Day 2: Grief as a Pathway to Healing
Grief is a natural and necessary response to loss, serving as God's way of helping us transition through life's changes. It is a process that allows us to confront our emotions and begin healing. Avoiding grief can lead to unresolved emotional and physical issues, so it is important to embrace it fully. By acknowledging our sorrow and allowing ourselves to grieve, we open the door to healing and transformation. Grief is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the depth of our love and the significance of our loss. [05:02]
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18, ESV)
Reflection: What loss in your life have you been avoiding grieving? How can you create space today to allow yourself to feel and process this grief?
Day 3: Lament as an Expression of Struggle
In the struggle phase, feelings of anger and frustration often arise, leading us to question God and life. It is essential to express these feelings through lament, a form of honest communication with God. Lament involves bringing our complaints to God, appealing to His nature, and reminding Him of His promises. This process allows us to deepen our trust in God and find peace amidst our struggles. Lament is not about finding immediate answers but about being authentic in our relationship with God, knowing that He hears and understands our pain. [07:12]
"Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!" (Psalm 130:1-2, ESV)
Reflection: What struggles are you currently facing that you need to bring before God in lament? How can you express your honest feelings to Him today?
Day 4: Surrender as a Pathway to Peace
Surrender is about accepting what cannot be changed and trusting God with the outcome. It is a conscious decision to let go of control and open ourselves to God's blessings and growth. Surrender leads to peace, as it allows us to release our burdens and trust in God's plan for our lives. It is not about giving up but about acknowledging reality and choosing to trust God with the future. Through surrender, we find the strength to move forward and embrace the peace that comes from knowing God is in control. [07:54]
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV)
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you are struggling to surrender control? What steps can you take today to trust God more fully in this area?
Day 5: Choosing Development Over Destruction
When faced with adversity, we have three choices: let it destroy us, define us, or develop us. By choosing to let it develop us, we open ourselves to growth and transformation, allowing God to bring beauty from ashes. This choice requires a shift in perspective, seeing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. It is about allowing God to work in and through us, using our experiences to shape us into the people He created us to be. Through this process, we discover the strength and resilience that comes from trusting in God's plan. [08:50]
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." (James 1:2-3, ESV)
Reflection: How can you reframe a current challenge in your life as an opportunity for growth? What steps can you take today to allow God to develop you through this experience?
Quotes
When you experience shock, you feel numb, and we talked in that message about crying out to God and letting others help me. We talked about how really you need other people in your life. You need Fellowship when you're shocked because you can't think straight, and other people need to think for you. [00:04:31]
Grief is God's way of getting us through the transitions of life. There is no life without change, no change without loss, no loss without pain, and no pain without grief. Grief is healthy. In fact, to not grieve is unhealthy. Grief is the only thing that makes you different from the animals. [00:05:02]
In struggle, you feel angry, and now you're starting to get frustrated. You're starting to get ticked off at God. You're getting a little angry at God and go, "Why is this happening?" That's the why questions of life. Remember, I talked last week about how you have to learn how to lament. [00:07:00]
Surrender is accepting reality. Here's what David did. Look there on your outline, 2 Samuel 12:22 and 23. David said this: "I fasted and I wept while the child was alive, for I thought perhaps the Lord would be gracious and let the child live. But why should I fast when he is dead?" [00:14:46]
Acceptance doesn't mean you stop caring. No, no. Acceptance doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It does. Acceptance doesn't mean you even think that what happened is good. It's not. None of that's acceptance. Acceptance simply means I can't change it. David says, "My son has died, and I can't change that." [00:16:04]
When faced with adversity, you have three choices: let it destroy you, let it define you, or let it develop you. You can let it destroy you, you can let it define you, or you can let it develop you. Life can sometimes be challenging, isolating, and painful. [00:08:36]
King David, as he experienced the loss of his son, was able to focus on the hope that was ahead of him, believing that God wasn't finished. 2 Samuel 12:23, he says about his son, "I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me." [00:18:36]
God never is content to let a single one of our stories end in ashes. He promises that he will bring beauty from ashes. Where I struggle is sometimes believing not that he will bring beauty from ashes, but how. How will he bring beauty from these ashes? [00:20:41]
In grief, one of the most challenging transitions I'm discovering is moving toward the future rather than hanging around in the past. That's a really challenging thing for me. Jerry Sitzer, who wrote a book that I recommended to you, "A Grace Disguised," lost his mother, wife, and four-year-old daughter in a car accident. [00:22:20]
When you try to figure out the future, you're grasping at things that are mine, Jesus says. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion, doubting my promises to care for you. Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, Jesus says, repent and return to me. [00:24:56]
The past in your life, for good or bad, the good things and the bad things, they are seasonal, and they're not there. The past is past. Some of you, you've had a dream, and it didn't happen, and it's over. You need to get a new dream. You need to get a new vision. [00:18:20]
Surrender involves accepting what cannot be changed and trusting God with the outcome. It is the pathway to peace, allowing us to let go of control and open ourselves to God's blessings and growth. [00:07:54]
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