Navigating Family Conflict: A Gospel Perspective
Devotional
Sermon Summary
Bible Study Guide
Sermon Clips
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Reality is, conflict is a very normal part of our everyday life. In a quote from the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology, the editors point out that from Genesis 3 to Revelation 20, we read of strife and fighting. Only the first two chapters of the Bible, creation, and the last two, recreation, fall outside the long period of human conflict. Conflict is inevitable. In our families, be it nuclear or extended, friends that feel like family, or this church family, our families are no exception. So our conversation this morning isn't really revolving around a question of if, but how. You might have thought I was going to say when. How we respond when we encounter conflict can make all the difference in the world." [38:12]
2. "You and I need Jesus to transform us from the inside out. Let's come back to our text. Enter a brother named Reuben. Reuben was the eldest son of Jacob by Leah, and he had a different plan. In verses 21 through 24, we're told that Reuben intervenes in the brother's plan to kill Joseph, saying, let not us take his life, but instead throw him into this pit here in the wilderness. Now, to the perception of the brothers, this alternate plan still accomplished the same result, right? Maybe even a little slower. Still accomplished the same result, but it absolved the brothers of actually having to commit murder. And so, sure, we'll go along with that." [51:36]
3. "Where do we see ourselves in this narrative? Maybe you're in a season and you find yourself closer to the disposition of Joseph's brothers, right? Maybe there's a conflict in your life that's taken root and you need Jesus to show up and work in you at a heart level. I'd imagine, if we're honest, this moment or sometime in the past, all of us can probably relate to that. Now, on the other hand, if I had to guess, most of us probably can't relate to being sold into slavery, right? Most of us probably can't relate to being thrown into a pit, beaten up and thrown into a pit by an angry or jealous brother and sister. But maybe this morning, metaphorically, that's where you're at. You feel like you're in a pit. You don't see a way out." [01:06:37]
4. "You and I can't control the things that happen to us or around us that lead to conflict, but how we respond, that we can control. From a leadership standpoint, I'm sure there are some here in the room who have heard the phrase, control your controllables. Now, hear me clearly, when I say you and I can control how we respond, I want to make sure we frame that properly, okay? Because if we're not careful, that can quickly sound more like a motivational speech or lead us down a path of self-reliance. That's not what I'm talking about. And while there's nothing wrong with a good motivational speech, especially like at the gym or working out or something like that, nothing wrong with that. For the follower of Christ, we're not pointed to our own self-reliance. In fact, quite the opposite." [01:00:08]
5. "Despite the deep divide, the family conflict that we see in this chapter, God is at work. Our conflict does not derail God's purposes. Allow me one more time to draw our attention outside of our primary chapter here, chapter 37, to Genesis. Genesis chapter 15, God's covenant with Abram. Genesis 17, he's renamed Abraham. In Genesis 15, scripture tells us how, quote, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision. Now, during that vision, the Lord takes Abram out into the night and points his attention up to the heavens, right? And the number of stars, the vast number of stars saying, so shall your offspring be. That's verses one through six. And then as we continue, we continue to verses 13 and 14." [01:03:23]
### Quotes for Members
1. "Though our reading this morning kicked off in verse 12, where chances are your Bible has a heading that says something like Joseph sold by his brothers. I want to begin our conversation at the top of the chapter. So back us up a few verses because verses one through 12 are going to provide some context for us that I believe is crucial for us understanding this passage. Listen to how Genesis chapter 37 starts out. In the land of Canaan, these are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being 17 years old, was pastoring the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons because he was the son of his old age, and he made him a robe of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father, loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him." [41:29]
2. "And a question that I would ask in hopes of leading the conversation towards Jesus would be this, but what about the inside? How do you wash the inside? Now, before we get too comfortable thinking, well, that's a Muslim context, I think we can agree that we do the same thing, right? Mask. I think we can all agree that we can be really good about keeping the outside nice and clean and tidy for everyone else to see, regardless of the inside. Yes, for the follower of Christ, the transformative work of the gospel in our lives should result in an outward difference, behavioral change, outward evidence of an inward difference. But in order to clean the inside, in order for that inward difference to take place, you and I need Jesus to change our heart, to transform us from the inside out." [51:36]
3. "You want to make this real practical? What, five, six months away from a presidential election? I'm not talking about which side that you should fall on or voting, but I am saying that how you engage in conversations and how you engage with others as you encounter others who have a different perspective or different standpoint than you, that interaction should put the fruits of the Spirit on display and it should be opportunities for us to point to Jesus and his gospel, not our own agenda. What will that look like in your life?" [01:03:23]
4. "If we had time, we could walk all across the verses of the New Testament and see passages pointing us to what this looks like for the follower of Christ and how this plays out. Places like Romans 12, 9 through 21, love one another with brotherly affection. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 1 Peter 3, 8 through 12, have unity of mind, brotherly love, a tenderly heart, and a humble mind. John 13, 34 and 35, a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved you. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples. If you and I are relying on the power of the Holy Spirit, the way we engage with our culture and conflict become opportunities to put the gospel on display." [01:01:38]
5. "Now, if we were to continue in our text, what we would see is we would see Reuben come back into the picture, only to find an empty pit and Joseph gone. We'd see the brothers take the coat of many colors, cover it with blood, and send it back to their father for identification. In fact, kind of interesting, they say, hey, is this your sons? Kind of distancing themselves from him even more. And we'd see, Jacob, mourn, what we're told is unable to be comforted, only before the text would then jump back to Egypt and Joseph, who is sold to a guard of Pharaoh's or an officer of Pharaoh named Potiphar. But you know what we wouldn't see? Within the context of chapter 27, we never see this family conflict resolved. In fact, chronologically speaking, resolution to Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, him into slavery doesn't come for another 20 plus years." [58:22]
Ask a question about this sermon
1. "Reality is, conflict is a very normal part of our everyday life. In a quote from the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology, the editors point out that from Genesis 3 to Revelation 20, we read of strife and fighting. Only the first two chapters of the Bible, creation, and the last two, recreation, fall outside the long period of human conflict. Conflict is inevitable. In our families, be it nuclear or extended, friends that feel like family, or this church family, our families are no exception. So our conversation this morning isn't really revolving around a question of if, but how. You might have thought I was going to say when. How we respond when we encounter conflict can make all the difference in the world." [38:12]
2. "You and I need Jesus to transform us from the inside out. Let's come back to our text. Enter a brother named Reuben. Reuben was the eldest son of Jacob by Leah, and he had a different plan. In verses 21 through 24, we're told that Reuben intervenes in the brother's plan to kill Joseph, saying, let not us take his life, but instead throw him into this pit here in the wilderness. Now, to the perception of the brothers, this alternate plan still accomplished the same result, right? Maybe even a little slower. Still accomplished the same result, but it absolved the brothers of actually having to commit murder. And so, sure, we'll go along with that." [51:36]
3. "Where do we see ourselves in this narrative? Maybe you're in a season and you find yourself closer to the disposition of Joseph's brothers, right? Maybe there's a conflict in your life that's taken root and you need Jesus to show up and work in you at a heart level. I'd imagine, if we're honest, this moment or sometime in the past, all of us can probably relate to that. Now, on the other hand, if I had to guess, most of us probably can't relate to being sold into slavery, right? Most of us probably can't relate to being thrown into a pit, beaten up and thrown into a pit by an angry or jealous brother and sister. But maybe this morning, metaphorically, that's where you're at. You feel like you're in a pit. You don't see a way out." [01:06:37]
4. "You and I can't control the things that happen to us or around us that lead to conflict, but how we respond, that we can control. From a leadership standpoint, I'm sure there are some here in the room who have heard the phrase, control your controllables. Now, hear me clearly, when I say you and I can control how we respond, I want to make sure we frame that properly, okay? Because if we're not careful, that can quickly sound more like a motivational speech or lead us down a path of self-reliance. That's not what I'm talking about. And while there's nothing wrong with a good motivational speech, especially like at the gym or working out or something like that, nothing wrong with that. For the follower of Christ, we're not pointed to our own self-reliance. In fact, quite the opposite." [01:00:08]
5. "Despite the deep divide, the family conflict that we see in this chapter, God is at work. Our conflict does not derail God's purposes. Allow me one more time to draw our attention outside of our primary chapter here, chapter 37, to Genesis. Genesis chapter 15, God's covenant with Abram. Genesis 17, he's renamed Abraham. In Genesis 15, scripture tells us how, quote, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision. Now, during that vision, the Lord takes Abram out into the night and points his attention up to the heavens, right? And the number of stars, the vast number of stars saying, so shall your offspring be. That's verses one through six. And then as we continue, we continue to verses 13 and 14." [01:03:23]
### Quotes for Members
1. "Though our reading this morning kicked off in verse 12, where chances are your Bible has a heading that says something like Joseph sold by his brothers. I want to begin our conversation at the top of the chapter. So back us up a few verses because verses one through 12 are going to provide some context for us that I believe is crucial for us understanding this passage. Listen to how Genesis chapter 37 starts out. In the land of Canaan, these are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being 17 years old, was pastoring the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons because he was the son of his old age, and he made him a robe of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father, loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him." [41:29]
2. "And a question that I would ask in hopes of leading the conversation towards Jesus would be this, but what about the inside? How do you wash the inside? Now, before we get too comfortable thinking, well, that's a Muslim context, I think we can agree that we do the same thing, right? Mask. I think we can all agree that we can be really good about keeping the outside nice and clean and tidy for everyone else to see, regardless of the inside. Yes, for the follower of Christ, the transformative work of the gospel in our lives should result in an outward difference, behavioral change, outward evidence of an inward difference. But in order to clean the inside, in order for that inward difference to take place, you and I need Jesus to change our heart, to transform us from the inside out." [51:36]
3. "You want to make this real practical? What, five, six months away from a presidential election? I'm not talking about which side that you should fall on or voting, but I am saying that how you engage in conversations and how you engage with others as you encounter others who have a different perspective or different standpoint than you, that interaction should put the fruits of the Spirit on display and it should be opportunities for us to point to Jesus and his gospel, not our own agenda. What will that look like in your life?" [01:03:23]
4. "If we had time, we could walk all across the verses of the New Testament and see passages pointing us to what this looks like for the follower of Christ and how this plays out. Places like Romans 12, 9 through 21, love one another with brotherly affection. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 1 Peter 3, 8 through 12, have unity of mind, brotherly love, a tenderly heart, and a humble mind. John 13, 34 and 35, a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved you. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples. If you and I are relying on the power of the Holy Spirit, the way we engage with our culture and conflict become opportunities to put the gospel on display." [01:01:38]
5. "Now, if we were to continue in our text, what we would see is we would see Reuben come back into the picture, only to find an empty pit and Joseph gone. We'd see the brothers take the coat of many colors, cover it with blood, and send it back to their father for identification. In fact, kind of interesting, they say, hey, is this your sons? Kind of distancing themselves from him even more. And we'd see, Jacob, mourn, what we're told is unable to be comforted, only before the text would then jump back to Egypt and Joseph, who is sold to a guard of Pharaoh's or an officer of Pharaoh named Potiphar. But you know what we wouldn't see? Within the context of chapter 27, we never see this family conflict resolved. In fact, chronologically speaking, resolution to Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, him into slavery doesn't come for another 20 plus years." [58:22]
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