Navigating Family Conflict: A Gospel Perspective
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, everyone. As we step into June, it's hard to believe how quickly the year is passing. Before diving into today's message, I want to remind you of some upcoming events at Westover, including our summer reading times at the Westover Library and our summer nights. Also, if you're new here, we have "Coffee with a Pastor" next week on June 9th after both services. It's a great opportunity to get to know our leadership and for us to get to know you better.
Today, we continue our series "Inside Out," focusing on the theme of family and, more specifically, conflict within families. When we think of family, it can mean different things to different people—immediate family, extended family, or even friends who feel like family. Here at Westover, we often refer to our church as a family. But no matter what comes to mind when we think of family, conflict is an inevitable part of it. We all have moments where we put on a mask, pretending everything is fine, even when it's not. Conflict is a normal part of life, and the Bible is full of examples of strife and fighting from Genesis to Revelation.
Today, we look at a specific family conflict in Genesis 37, the story of Joseph and his brothers. This story is not just about comparing our conflicts to theirs but about seeing how it points us to Jesus and our need for Him. As we navigate through this text, we aim to equip ourselves to handle conflict in a way that honors one another and displays the gospel.
Let's start by reading Genesis 37, verses 1-12, to set the context. Joseph, at 17, was pasturing the flock with his brothers and brought a bad report of them to their father, Jacob, who loved Joseph more than any of his other sons. This favoritism led to his brothers hating him. Joseph's dreams, which he shared with his family, only fueled their jealousy and hatred.
As we move through the chapter, we see the brothers plotting to kill Joseph when they see him coming from a distance. They sarcastically refer to him as "this dreamer" and plan to throw him into a pit and claim a wild animal devoured him. Reuben, the eldest, intervenes with an alternate plan to throw Joseph into a pit without killing him, intending to rescue him later. However, the brothers strip Joseph of his robe and throw him into the pit.
While they are eating, they see a caravan of Ishmaelites and decide to sell Joseph instead of killing him. Judah proposes this plan, and the brothers agree, selling Joseph for 20 shekels of silver. Joseph is taken to Egypt, and the brothers deceive their father by showing him Joseph's bloodied robe, leading Jacob to believe Joseph is dead.
This story highlights several key points. First, conflict often starts in the heart before it manifests in actions. The brothers' hatred and jealousy were evident long before they acted on it. Second, our response to conflict is crucial. We can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond, relying on the Holy Spirit to guide us. Third, conflict provides an opportunity to display the gospel. By reflecting the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—we can show the world a different way of handling conflict. Finally, despite the conflict, God's purposes are not derailed. God's faithfulness is evident throughout the story, and He remains at work even in the midst of our struggles.
As we wrap up, let's remember that conflict is inevitable, but how we handle it can make all the difference. Let's rely on the Holy Spirit to guide us and use our conflicts as opportunities to display the gospel and point others to Jesus.
### Key Takeaways
1. Conflict is Inevitable but Manageable: Conflict is a normal part of life, as evidenced from Genesis to Revelation. The key is not to avoid conflict but to manage it in a way that honors God and others. By acknowledging that conflict is inevitable, we can prepare ourselves to handle it with grace and wisdom, relying on the Holy Spirit to guide us. [36:30]
2. The Heart of Conflict: The story of Joseph and his brothers shows that conflict often starts in the heart before it manifests in actions. The brothers' hatred and jealousy were evident long before they acted on it. This teaches us the importance of addressing our heart issues and seeking Jesus to transform us from the inside out. [44:51]
3. Our Response to Conflict: While we can't control what happens to us, we can control how we respond to conflict. By relying on the Holy Spirit, we can exhibit the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—even in the midst of conflict. This not only helps us manage conflict better but also serves as a testimony to others. [49:49]
4. Conflict as an Opportunity to Display the Gospel: Conflict provides a unique opportunity to display the gospel. When we handle conflict with the fruits of the Spirit, we show the world a different way of living. This can be especially powerful in today's polarized society, where our response to conflict can point others to Jesus and His transformative power. [01:01:38]
5. God's Faithfulness in Conflict: Despite the deep divide and family conflict in Genesis 37, God's purposes were not derailed. God's faithfulness is evident throughout the story, and He remains at work even in the midst of our struggles. This reminds us that no matter what conflict we face, God is still in control and His plans for us will prevail. [01:05:01]
### Youtube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[36:30] - Introduction and Upcoming Events
[38:12] - The Inevitability of Conflict
[40:01] - Genesis 37: Setting the Context
[41:29] - Joseph's Dreams and Brothers' Hatred
[44:51] - The Heart of Conflict
[48:00] - The Brothers' Plot
[49:49] - Reuben's Intervention
[51:36] - Joseph Thrown into the Pit
[55:06] - Judah's Plan to Sell Joseph
[58:22] - Joseph Sold to the Ishmaelites
[01:00:08] - Application: Responding to Conflict
[01:01:38] - Displaying the Gospel in Conflict
[01:03:23] - God's Faithfulness in Conflict
[01:05:01] - Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- Genesis 37:1-28
#### Observation Questions
1. What were the reasons behind Joseph's brothers' hatred towards him? ([41:29])
2. How did Reuben intervene in the brothers' initial plan to kill Joseph? ([51:36])
3. What was Judah's alternative plan for Joseph, and how did it change the brothers' course of action? ([55:06])
4. How did the brothers deceive their father Jacob after selling Joseph? ([58:22])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the favoritism shown by Jacob towards Joseph contribute to the conflict within the family? ([41:29])
2. In what ways does the story of Joseph and his brothers illustrate that conflict often starts in the heart before it manifests in actions? ([49:49])
3. How can the fruits of the Spirit help us respond to conflict in a way that honors God and others? ([01:00:08])
4. What does the story of Joseph teach us about God's faithfulness even in the midst of family conflict? ([01:05:01])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent conflict in your life. How did you respond, and how might you have responded differently by relying on the Holy Spirit? ([01:00:08])
2. Think of a situation where you felt jealousy or hatred towards someone. How can you address these heart issues and seek transformation through Jesus? ([49:49])
3. Identify a current conflict in your family or friend group. What steps can you take to manage this conflict in a way that displays the gospel? ([01:01:38])
4. How can you practice the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—in your daily interactions, especially during conflicts? ([01:00:08])
5. Consider a time when you felt like you were in a "pit" due to conflict. How did you see God's faithfulness during that time, or how can you look for His faithfulness now? ([01:06:37])
6. How can you create an environment in your church or small group where people feel safe to be authentic about their struggles and conflicts? ([01:08:28])
7. Think of a person who tests your patience. What is a short prayer you can say before the next time you interact with that person to help you respond with the fruits of the Spirit? ([01:01:38])
Devotional
Day 1: Conflict is Inevitable but Manageable
Conflict is a normal part of life, as evidenced from Genesis to Revelation. The key is not to avoid conflict but to manage it in a way that honors God and others. By acknowledging that conflict is inevitable, we can prepare ourselves to handle it with grace and wisdom, relying on the Holy Spirit to guide us. Conflict often arises in our families, workplaces, and even within our church communities. It is essential to recognize that conflict itself is not inherently sinful; it is our response to it that can either honor or dishonor God.
In the story of Joseph and his brothers, we see how unmanaged conflict can lead to devastating consequences. Joseph's brothers allowed their jealousy and hatred to fester, ultimately leading them to plot against him. However, even in the midst of this conflict, God's purposes were not thwarted. This teaches us that while we cannot always control the presence of conflict, we can control our reactions and seek to manage it in a way that reflects God's love and wisdom. [36:30]
Proverbs 15:18 (ESV): "A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention."
Reflection: Think of a recent conflict you experienced. How can you approach similar situations in the future with grace and wisdom, relying on the Holy Spirit for guidance?
Day 2: The Heart of Conflict
The story of Joseph and his brothers shows that conflict often starts in the heart before it manifests in actions. The brothers' hatred and jealousy were evident long before they acted on it. This teaches us the importance of addressing our heart issues and seeking Jesus to transform us from the inside out. Our hearts are the wellspring of our actions, and unresolved issues like jealousy, bitterness, and anger can lead to destructive behaviors.
In our own lives, it is crucial to examine our hearts regularly and bring our struggles before God. By doing so, we allow Him to work in us and transform our hearts, preventing conflicts from escalating. The story of Joseph reminds us that unchecked heart issues can lead to severe consequences, but with God's help, we can address these issues and seek reconciliation and peace. [44:51]
James 4:1-2 (ESV): "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel."
Reflection: Reflect on any unresolved heart issues you may have, such as jealousy or bitterness. How can you bring these before God and seek His transformation in your life?
Day 3: Our Response to Conflict
While we can't control what happens to us, we can control how we respond to conflict. By relying on the Holy Spirit, we can exhibit the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—even in the midst of conflict. This not only helps us manage conflict better but also serves as a testimony to others. Our response to conflict can either escalate the situation or bring about resolution and peace.
In the story of Joseph, we see different responses to conflict. Reuben, the eldest brother, intervenes with an alternate plan to save Joseph, showing a more measured response compared to his brothers' initial violent intentions. This highlights the importance of seeking God's guidance in our responses to conflict, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us in displaying the fruits of the Spirit. [49:49]
Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV): "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Reflection: Think of a recent conflict where you struggled to respond with the fruits of the Spirit. How can you rely more on the Holy Spirit to guide your responses in future conflicts?
Day 4: Conflict as an Opportunity to Display the Gospel
Conflict provides a unique opportunity to display the gospel. When we handle conflict with the fruits of the Spirit, we show the world a different way of living. This can be especially powerful in today's polarized society, where our response to conflict can point others to Jesus and His transformative power. By responding to conflict with love, patience, and forgiveness, we demonstrate the gospel's impact on our lives and offer a glimpse of God's kingdom to those around us.
In the story of Joseph, despite the severe conflict and betrayal he faced, Joseph later forgives his brothers and recognizes God's hand in his journey. This act of forgiveness and reconciliation points to the greater story of redemption and grace found in Jesus. As followers of Christ, we are called to reflect His love and forgiveness in our interactions, using conflict as an opportunity to display the gospel. [01:01:38]
Matthew 5:9 (ESV): "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."
Reflection: How can you use a current or past conflict as an opportunity to display the gospel to those involved? What steps can you take to be a peacemaker in that situation?
Day 5: God's Faithfulness in Conflict
Despite the deep divide and family conflict in Genesis 37, God's purposes were not derailed. God's faithfulness is evident throughout the story, and He remains at work even in the midst of our struggles. This reminds us that no matter what conflict we face, God is still in control and His plans for us will prevail. In the story of Joseph, we see how God used the conflict and betrayal Joseph experienced to ultimately bring about His greater plan for Joseph's life and the preservation of his family.
In our own lives, we can take comfort in knowing that God is faithful and sovereign, even in the midst of conflict. He can use our struggles and challenges to shape us, grow our faith, and fulfill His purposes. Trusting in God's faithfulness allows us to navigate conflicts with hope and confidence, knowing that He is at work in every situation. [01:05:01]
Romans 8:28 (ESV): "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Reflection: Reflect on a past conflict where you saw God's faithfulness at work. How can this reminder of His faithfulness help you trust Him in current or future conflicts?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Reality is, conflict is a very normal part of our everyday life. In a quote from the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology, the editors point out that from Genesis 3 to Revelation 20, we read of strife and fighting. Only the first two chapters of the Bible, creation, and the last two, recreation, fall outside the long period of human conflict. Conflict is inevitable. In our families, be it nuclear or extended, friends that feel like family, or this church family, our families are no exception. So our conversation this morning isn't really revolving around a question of if, but how. You might have thought I was going to say when. How we respond when we encounter conflict can make all the difference in the world." [38:12]
2. "You and I need Jesus to transform us from the inside out. Let's come back to our text. Enter a brother named Reuben. Reuben was the eldest son of Jacob by Leah, and he had a different plan. In verses 21 through 24, we're told that Reuben intervenes in the brother's plan to kill Joseph, saying, let not us take his life, but instead throw him into this pit here in the wilderness. Now, to the perception of the brothers, this alternate plan still accomplished the same result, right? Maybe even a little slower. Still accomplished the same result, but it absolved the brothers of actually having to commit murder. And so, sure, we'll go along with that." [51:36]
3. "Where do we see ourselves in this narrative? Maybe you're in a season and you find yourself closer to the disposition of Joseph's brothers, right? Maybe there's a conflict in your life that's taken root and you need Jesus to show up and work in you at a heart level. I'd imagine, if we're honest, this moment or sometime in the past, all of us can probably relate to that. Now, on the other hand, if I had to guess, most of us probably can't relate to being sold into slavery, right? Most of us probably can't relate to being thrown into a pit, beaten up and thrown into a pit by an angry or jealous brother and sister. But maybe this morning, metaphorically, that's where you're at. You feel like you're in a pit. You don't see a way out." [01:06:37]
4. "You and I can't control the things that happen to us or around us that lead to conflict, but how we respond, that we can control. From a leadership standpoint, I'm sure there are some here in the room who have heard the phrase, control your controllables. Now, hear me clearly, when I say you and I can control how we respond, I want to make sure we frame that properly, okay? Because if we're not careful, that can quickly sound more like a motivational speech or lead us down a path of self-reliance. That's not what I'm talking about. And while there's nothing wrong with a good motivational speech, especially like at the gym or working out or something like that, nothing wrong with that. For the follower of Christ, we're not pointed to our own self-reliance. In fact, quite the opposite." [01:00:08]
5. "Despite the deep divide, the family conflict that we see in this chapter, God is at work. Our conflict does not derail God's purposes. Allow me one more time to draw our attention outside of our primary chapter here, chapter 37, to Genesis. Genesis chapter 15, God's covenant with Abram. Genesis 17, he's renamed Abraham. In Genesis 15, scripture tells us how, quote, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision. Now, during that vision, the Lord takes Abram out into the night and points his attention up to the heavens, right? And the number of stars, the vast number of stars saying, so shall your offspring be. That's verses one through six. And then as we continue, we continue to verses 13 and 14." [01:03:23]
### Quotes for Members
1. "Though our reading this morning kicked off in verse 12, where chances are your Bible has a heading that says something like Joseph sold by his brothers. I want to begin our conversation at the top of the chapter. So back us up a few verses because verses one through 12 are going to provide some context for us that I believe is crucial for us understanding this passage. Listen to how Genesis chapter 37 starts out. In the land of Canaan, these are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being 17 years old, was pastoring the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons because he was the son of his old age, and he made him a robe of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father, loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him." [41:29]
2. "And a question that I would ask in hopes of leading the conversation towards Jesus would be this, but what about the inside? How do you wash the inside? Now, before we get too comfortable thinking, well, that's a Muslim context, I think we can agree that we do the same thing, right? Mask. I think we can all agree that we can be really good about keeping the outside nice and clean and tidy for everyone else to see, regardless of the inside. Yes, for the follower of Christ, the transformative work of the gospel in our lives should result in an outward difference, behavioral change, outward evidence of an inward difference. But in order to clean the inside, in order for that inward difference to take place, you and I need Jesus to change our heart, to transform us from the inside out." [51:36]
3. "You want to make this real practical? What, five, six months away from a presidential election? I'm not talking about which side that you should fall on or voting, but I am saying that how you engage in conversations and how you engage with others as you encounter others who have a different perspective or different standpoint than you, that interaction should put the fruits of the Spirit on display and it should be opportunities for us to point to Jesus and his gospel, not our own agenda. What will that look like in your life?" [01:03:23]
4. "If we had time, we could walk all across the verses of the New Testament and see passages pointing us to what this looks like for the follower of Christ and how this plays out. Places like Romans 12, 9 through 21, love one another with brotherly affection. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 1 Peter 3, 8 through 12, have unity of mind, brotherly love, a tenderly heart, and a humble mind. John 13, 34 and 35, a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved you. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples. If you and I are relying on the power of the Holy Spirit, the way we engage with our culture and conflict become opportunities to put the gospel on display." [01:01:38]
5. "Now, if we were to continue in our text, what we would see is we would see Reuben come back into the picture, only to find an empty pit and Joseph gone. We'd see the brothers take the coat of many colors, cover it with blood, and send it back to their father for identification. In fact, kind of interesting, they say, hey, is this your sons? Kind of distancing themselves from him even more. And we'd see, Jacob, mourn, what we're told is unable to be comforted, only before the text would then jump back to Egypt and Joseph, who is sold to a guard of Pharaoh's or an officer of Pharaoh named Potiphar. But you know what we wouldn't see? Within the context of chapter 27, we never see this family conflict resolved. In fact, chronologically speaking, resolution to Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, Selig, and Joseph's brothers, him into slavery doesn't come for another 20 plus years." [58:22]
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