Navigating Conflict: A Biblical Approach to Unity
Summary
### Summary
Today, we delved into the topic of conflict resolution within the church, inspired by Matthew 18:15-20. The title of our discussion was "It's Time for a Tough Conversation." We began by acknowledging that conflict is an inevitable part of life, including within the church. Jesus provided a clear blueprint for handling conflict, emphasizing the importance of addressing issues directly and privately first, and then involving others if necessary. This approach aims to restore relationships and maintain unity, which is a core value of our church.
Unity is not something that happens by chance; it requires intentional effort and sometimes difficult conversations. Jesus prayed for unity among His disciples, and we are called to strive for the same within our church community. We must understand that being part of a church does not mean we will never face hurt or offense. Instead, it means we have the tools and the responsibility to address these issues biblically.
We explored why people often avoid conflict: lack of maturity, fear of the other person's response, and a defensive attitude. However, avoiding conflict only leads to unresolved issues that can fester and grow. True confrontation requires humility and a willingness to look within ourselves first. We must be open to correction and ready to address our own faults.
When conflict arises, it should be dealt with according to the steps Jesus laid out: first, go directly to the person; if that doesn't work, bring one or two others; and if the issue still isn't resolved, involve the church leadership. This process ensures that conflicts are handled with wisdom and care, aiming for restoration rather than division.
Finally, we discussed the importance of forgiveness. Holding onto unforgiveness can hinder our worship and spiritual growth. Forgiveness doesn't mean we have to continue close relationships with those who have hurt us, but it does mean releasing the burden of resentment and allowing God to work in our hearts.
### Key Takeaways
1. Conflict is Inevitable but Manageable: Conflict is a natural part of life, even within the church. Jesus provided a clear method for addressing conflict, emphasizing direct and private conversations first. This approach aims to restore relationships and maintain unity, which is essential for a healthy church community. [01:08]
2. Unity Requires Effort: Unity is not automatic; it requires intentional effort and sometimes difficult conversations. Jesus prayed for unity among His disciples, and we are called to strive for the same within our church. Unity is a mandate that we must fight for, and it starts with addressing conflicts biblically. [04:37]
3. Avoiding Conflict Leads to Bigger Issues: People often avoid conflict due to fear, lack of maturity, or defensive attitudes. However, avoiding conflict only leads to unresolved issues that can fester and grow. True confrontation requires humility and a willingness to look within ourselves first. [12:36]
4. Biblical Steps for Conflict Resolution: Jesus laid out a clear process for handling conflict: go directly to the person, bring one or two others if needed, and involve church leadership if the issue persists. This ensures conflicts are handled with wisdom and care, aiming for restoration rather than division. [25:40]
5. The Importance of Forgiveness: Holding onto unforgiveness can hinder our worship and spiritual growth. Forgiveness doesn't mean we have to continue close relationships with those who have hurt us, but it does mean releasing the burden of resentment and allowing God to work in our hearts. [22:01]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[01:08] - Introduction and Scripture Reading
[02:46] - Prayer and Opening Remarks
[03:14] - Survey on Conflict
[03:48] - Conflict in Relationships
[04:37] - The Importance of Unity
[05:48] - Matthew 18 Moment
[06:37] - Misconceptions About Church
[07:32] - Conflict in the New Testament
[08:16] - The Reality of Offense
[09:17] - The Imperfection of Churches
[10:00] - Emotional and Spiritual Maturity
[11:08] - Avoiding Conflict in Daily Life
[11:35] - The Blueprint for Conflict Resolution
[12:05] - Misconceptions About Judgment
[12:36] - Reasons for Avoiding Conflict
[13:03] - Personal Experience with Conflict
[13:25] - Focus on Obedience, Not Outcome
[13:50] - Defensive Attitudes
[14:17] - The Illusion of Always Being Right
[15:12] - The Importance of Humility
[15:42] - Biblical Approach to Conflict
[16:10] - Representing Jesus
[16:47] - Love Confronts
[17:44] - Impact on Worship
[18:56] - Reconciliation and Worship
[19:58] - The Collective Church
[20:23] - The Power of Agreement
[20:58] - The Necessity of Forgiveness
[21:32] - Misconceptions About Forgiveness
[22:01] - The Process of Forgiveness
[22:27] - The Connection Between Forgiveness and Worship
[22:55] - The Weight of Unforgiveness
[23:26] - The Gravity of Forgiveness
[23:57] - The Impact of Unforgiveness
[24:29] - The Reality of Being Triggered
[25:10] - The Cycle of Seasons
[25:40] - Steps to Dealing with Conflict
[26:00] - Direct Confrontation
[26:22] - The Importance of Direct Communication
[26:45] - The Dangers of Gossip
[27:21] - Restoring Gently
[27:55] - Patience in Restoration
[28:24] - The Triangulation of Conflict
[29:04] - The Simplicity of Direct Resolution
[29:43] - The Dangers of Indirect Communication
[30:18] - The Spread of Gossip
[30:57] - The Impact of Gossip
[31:34] - The Open Door of Offense
[32:27] - The Role of Parents in Teaching Conflict Resolution
[33:25] - The Consequences of Division
[34:22] - Bringing in Witnesses
[34:53] - The Role of Wise Counsel
[35:47] - Involving Church Leadership
[36:45] - The Process of Expulsion
[37:41] - The Importance of Protecting the Church
[38:22] - The Role of Love in Conflict Resolution
[39:05] - Personal Story of Expulsion
[40:35] - The Mark of Love in Tough Decisions
[41:08] - The Necessity of Removing Toxicity
[41:40] - Call to Action and Prayer
[42:43] - Invitation to Worship
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
- Matthew 18:15-20 (NIV): "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."
### Observation Questions
1. According to Matthew 18:15-20, what are the steps Jesus outlines for resolving conflict within the church?
2. What does Jesus say will happen if two or three people agree on something in prayer? ([01:08])
3. In the sermon, what reasons were given for why people often avoid conflict? ([12:36])
4. How does the pastor describe the importance of unity within the church? ([04:37])
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Jesus emphasizes addressing conflict directly and privately first before involving others? ([25:40])
2. How does the concept of unity relate to the effectiveness and health of a church community? ([04:37])
3. What might be the spiritual consequences of holding onto unforgiveness, according to the sermon? ([22:01])
4. How does the pastor suggest we should view and handle our own faults when dealing with conflict? ([15:12])
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent conflict you experienced. Did you follow the steps Jesus outlined in Matthew 18:15-20? If not, how might you handle it differently next time? ([25:40])
2. Unity requires effort and sometimes difficult conversations. Can you think of a situation in your church or personal life where you need to strive for unity? What steps will you take? ([04:37])
3. The sermon mentioned that avoiding conflict can lead to bigger issues. Is there a conflict you have been avoiding? What is one step you can take this week to address it? ([12:36])
4. The pastor talked about the importance of humility in conflict resolution. How can you practice humility in your next tough conversation? ([15:12])
5. Forgiveness is crucial for spiritual growth. Is there someone you need to forgive? What steps can you take to begin that process? ([22:01])
6. How can you ensure that your approach to conflict resolution reflects your role as an ambassador of Christ? ([16:10])
7. Think about a time when you were part of gossip or indirect communication about a conflict. How can you commit to direct and honest communication in the future? ([30:57])
Devotional
Day 1: Conflict is Inevitable but Manageable
Conflict is a natural part of life, even within the church. Jesus provided a clear method for addressing conflict, emphasizing direct and private conversations first. This approach aims to restore relationships and maintain unity, which is essential for a healthy church community. When conflicts arise, it is crucial to address them head-on rather than letting them fester. Jesus' blueprint for conflict resolution, as outlined in Matthew 18:15-20, encourages us to first approach the person privately. If the issue remains unresolved, we should then involve one or two others, and finally, if necessary, bring it to the church leadership. This method ensures that conflicts are handled with wisdom and care, aiming for restoration rather than division. [01:08]
Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV): "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
Reflection: Think of a recent conflict you have experienced. Have you followed Jesus' steps for resolution? If not, what is one step you can take today to address it biblically?
Day 2: Unity Requires Effort
Unity within the church is not automatic; it requires intentional effort and sometimes difficult conversations. Jesus prayed for unity among His disciples, and we are called to strive for the same within our church. Unity is a mandate that we must fight for, and it starts with addressing conflicts biblically. This means being proactive in resolving issues and not allowing them to create division. Unity is a core value of the church, and maintaining it requires humility, patience, and a willingness to engage in tough conversations. [04:37]
Ephesians 4:3-6 (ESV): "Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."
Reflection: Reflect on your role in promoting unity within your church. What is one practical step you can take this week to foster unity and address any existing conflicts?
Day 3: Avoiding Conflict Leads to Bigger Issues
People often avoid conflict due to fear, lack of maturity, or defensive attitudes. However, avoiding conflict only leads to unresolved issues that can fester and grow. True confrontation requires humility and a willingness to look within ourselves first. We must be open to correction and ready to address our own faults. By avoiding conflict, we allow small issues to become significant problems that can harm relationships and the church community. Addressing conflict directly and with humility is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and a strong church community. [12:36]
Proverbs 27:5-6 (ESV): "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."
Reflection: Consider a conflict you have been avoiding. What fears or attitudes are holding you back from addressing it? How can you approach this conflict with humility and a willingness to look within yourself first?
Day 4: Biblical Steps for Conflict Resolution
Jesus laid out a clear process for handling conflict: go directly to the person, bring one or two others if needed, and involve church leadership if the issue persists. This ensures conflicts are handled with wisdom and care, aiming for restoration rather than division. Following these steps helps to maintain the integrity of relationships and the unity of the church. It is important to approach conflict resolution with a spirit of love and a desire for reconciliation, rather than seeking to win an argument or prove a point. [25:40]
Galatians 6:1-2 (ESV): "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Reflection: Think about a conflict you are currently facing. Have you followed the biblical steps for resolution? What is one step you can take today to move towards reconciliation?
Day 5: The Importance of Forgiveness
Holding onto unforgiveness can hinder our worship and spiritual growth. Forgiveness doesn't mean we have to continue close relationships with those who have hurt us, but it does mean releasing the burden of resentment and allowing God to work in our hearts. Unforgiveness can create a barrier between us and God, affecting our ability to worship and grow spiritually. By choosing to forgive, we release the hold that resentment has on us and open ourselves up to God's healing and restoration. [22:01]
Colossians 3:13 (ESV): "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
Reflection: Think of someone in your life you need to forgive. Can you ask God to help you begin to extend His love and forgiveness to them today?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Somehow, someway, some shape, in some form, we have this false ideology as it pertains to church. We think that the minute we say yes to Jesus and we become children of God, and we come to church, then no one in the church is ever going to hurt us. Then no one in the church is ever going to offend us. And the premise that we use is how dare they do that. They are a Christian. Judas, how dare you sell Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver when you followed him for three and a half years." (34 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "I am here to tell you that there is no church that is perfect. And there is no one that is perfect other than Jesus Christ. Christ and him alone. He is the epitome of perfection. He personifies perfection. But us are becoming more like him. We go from glory to glory to glory." (19 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "When you choose not to confront what you are saying to that individual is I don't love you. When you choose not to confront an issue in your marriage, what you are telling your spouse is I don't love you. When you choose not to confront an issue in your children or your teenager, because you think that they might, I don't know, take you out, you're saying to your child I don't love you. Because true love wants the best for everybody around me. So I'm going to choose to confront and have conversations when necessary." (26 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "Forgiveness is not optional. Sometimes you're holding unforgiveness. There's some of you in this room. You are holding unforgiveness. You are absolutely walking around in bondage. Constraints. You cannot fully worship and enter into an atmosphere of worship and be absolutely radically transformed and touched because you are weighed down by unforgiveness." (20 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part. What he's saying is, if you can't forgive just as you have been forgiven, then God is not going to forgive you anymore. He will only begin to forgive you once you've chosen to forgive." (21 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
### Quotes for Members
1. "But conflict, when dealt correctly, has the ability to bring about a sense of resolution, even a sense of restoration. You know, at the Collective Church, one of our core values is unity. We say that unity. Unity is a mandate. And the thing is with unity, unity is not something that just happens. It's actually something that you have to fight for." (18 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "We think that the minute we say yes to Jesus and we become children of God, and we come to church, then no one in the church is ever going to hurt us. Then no one in the church is ever going to offend us. And the premise that we use is how dare they do that. They are a Christian. Judas, how dare you sell Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver when you followed him for three and a half years." (34 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "When conflict within the church arises, it should be dealt with biblically. We've got the blueprints. Why should we deal with conflict, especially in the church, biblically? Because guess what? You represent Jesus. We represent Jesus. This isn't through what 2 Corinthians 5.20 says. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us." (23 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "You know that love confronts. Love confronts. Because love does not want you to stay stuck on stupid. Love does not want you to stay where you are at and never move forward and progress in your life and in your journey. Let me tell you something. When you choose not to confront what you are saying to that individual is I don't love you." (20 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "You know, the longer you avoid something, the worse it gets. The longer you avoid cancer, the more it spreads. And longer it is, the harder it is to deal with it later. And deal with it later. Sometimes you have to deal with it right then and there." (17 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
Chatbot
-
I'm an AI bot trained specifically on the sermon from Jun 17, 2024. Do you have any questions about it?