Mutual Submission: The Key to Lasting Relationships

Devotional

Day 1: The Power of Mutual Submission

Mutual submission in relationships is about both partners prioritizing each other, creating a dynamic of trust and cooperation. This approach diminishes pride and blame, leading to faster apologies and greater transparency. In a world where individualism often takes precedence, mutual submission calls for a counter-cultural approach where both individuals in a relationship actively choose to put the other first. This is not about losing oneself but about finding a deeper connection through humility and service. By practicing mutual submission, relationships can become more resilient and fulfilling, as both partners feel valued and understood. [12:15]

Ephesians 5:21-22 (ESV): "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."

Reflection: Think of a recent disagreement with a loved one. How can you practice mutual submission in resolving it today?

Day 2: Understanding Context in Scripture

The often-misunderstood biblical instruction for wives to submit to their husbands is part of a broader context of mutual submission, where both partners are called to defer to one another out of reverence for Christ. This broader context is crucial for understanding the true intent of the scripture, which is not about hierarchy but about mutual respect and love. By recognizing the importance of context, we can avoid misinterpretations that lead to inequality and instead embrace a more balanced and loving approach to relationships. This understanding encourages us to read scripture with a discerning heart, seeking the deeper truths that promote unity and love. [17:16]

Colossians 3:18-19 (ESV): "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them."

Reflection: How can you ensure that you are interpreting scripture in a way that promotes equality and love in your relationships?

Day 3: Jesus as the Model for Relationships

Jesus' example of humility and service, where he did not use his power for personal gain but served others, is the model for how we should approach our relationships. This mindset fosters a healthy, lasting relationship by encouraging us to prioritize service over self-interest. Jesus demonstrated that true strength lies in humility and that serving others is a powerful expression of love. By following his example, we can cultivate relationships that are not only strong but also reflective of the love and grace of God. This approach challenges us to rethink our priorities and to seek ways to serve those we love. [30:10]

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV): "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Reflection: In what ways can you serve your partner or a close friend today, following the example of Jesus?

Day 4: Practical Steps to Mutual Submission

In practice, mutual submission involves asking, "What can I do to help?" This question shifts the focus from self-centeredness to serving and supporting your partner, enhancing the relationship. By actively seeking ways to assist and uplift one another, partners can create a supportive and nurturing environment. This practical approach to mutual submission encourages open communication and fosters a sense of partnership and teamwork. It reminds us that small acts of kindness and support can have a profound impact on the health and happiness of our relationships. [35:13]

Galatians 5:13 (ESV): "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

Reflection: What is one specific way you can offer help to your partner or a friend today, and how might this strengthen your relationship?

Day 5: Impacting Future Generations through Mutual Submission

By modeling mutual submission, we not only strengthen our relationships but also set an example for future generations, teaching them the value of humility and service in their own relationships. This legacy of love and respect can influence how children and young people view and engage in their own relationships. By demonstrating mutual submission, we provide a living example of how to build strong, loving, and equitable partnerships. This impact extends beyond our immediate relationships, contributing to a culture that values and practices mutual respect and love. [39:57]

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (ESV): "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

Reflection: How can you intentionally model mutual submission in your relationships to influence and teach the next generation?

Sermon Summary

In today's message, we explored the profound concept of mutual submission within relationships, particularly in the context of marriage. This idea, rooted in the teachings of the Apostle Paul, challenges the traditional interpretations that have often been misused to promote inequality. Instead, mutual submission is about creating a dynamic where both partners defer to one another, fostering an environment of trust, cooperation, and humility. This approach diminishes pride and blame, leading to faster apologies and greater transparency.

The key to mutual submission is understanding that it is not about one partner dominating the other, but rather about both individuals putting each other first. This principle is not only applicable to marriages but can be extended to all relationships. It is about treating your partner as if they are the most important person in the world, just as you did when you were first pursuing them. This mindset, inspired by the example of Jesus, who did not use his power for personal gain but served others, is the foundation of a healthy, lasting relationship.

For Christians, this concept is deeply tied to the law of Christ, which calls us to love others as Christ loved us. This means taking our relational cues from Jesus, who demonstrated ultimate humility and service. By doing so, we not only improve our relationships but also reflect the love and grace of God in our interactions with others.

Key Takeaways

1. Mutual Submission: The concept of mutual submission is about both partners in a relationship putting each other first, creating a dynamic of trust and cooperation. This approach diminishes pride and blame, leading to faster apologies and greater transparency. [12:15]
2. Context Matters: The often-misunderstood biblical instruction for wives to submit to their husbands is part of a broader context of mutual submission, where both partners are called to defer to one another out of reverence for Christ. [17:16]
3. Jesus as the Model: Jesus' example of humility and service, where he did not use his power for personal gain but served others, is the model for how we should approach our relationships. This mindset fosters a healthy, lasting relationship. [30:10]
4. Practical Application: In practice, mutual submission involves asking, "What can I do to help?" This question shifts the focus from self-centeredness to serving and supporting your partner, enhancing the relationship. [35:13]
5. Impact on Future Generations: By modeling mutual submission, we not only strengthen our relationships but also set an example for future generations, teaching them the value of humility and service in their own relationships. [39:57]
** [39:57]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:18] - Introduction to Relationship Advice
[02:56] - Misunderstood Scripture
[04:30] - Importance of Context
[05:00] - Life is Connected
[06:05] - Influence of Friends
[07:16] - Decisions Impact Life
[08:14] - Wisdom and Advice
[09:07] - Advice for Couples
[11:50] - Mutual Submission Explained
[13:08] - Misuse of Scripture
[17:16] - Submit to One Another
[21:30] - Defer to One Another
[26:23] - Christian Perspective
[35:13] - Practical Application
[39:27] - Conclusion and Next Steps

Bible Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:

Ephesians 5:21-25 (NIV) - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Philippians 2:5-7 (NIV) - "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness."

Observation Questions:

What does the concept of mutual submission entail according to the sermon, and how does it differ from traditional interpretations of submission in relationships? [12:15]
How does the sermon explain the context of the biblical instruction for wives to submit to their husbands? Why is context important in understanding this passage? [04:30]
According to the sermon, how does Jesus' example of humility and service serve as a model for relationships? [30:10]
What practical question does the sermon suggest we ask to practice mutual submission in our relationships? [35:13]

Interpretation Questions:

How does the principle of mutual submission challenge traditional power dynamics in relationships, and what impact might this have on trust and cooperation between partners? [12:33]
In what ways does the sermon suggest that Jesus' approach to relationships can transform our own interactions with others? How does this relate to the law of Christ? [27:59]
How does the sermon address the misuse of the biblical passage on submission, and what does it propose as the correct understanding? [13:08]
What are the implications of viewing marriage as a "submission competition," and how might this perspective influence the way partners treat each other? [22:16]

Application Questions:

Reflect on a recent conflict in a relationship. How might the principle of mutual submission have changed the outcome? What steps can you take to apply this principle in future conflicts? [12:51]
Consider the example of Jesus' humility and service. How can you incorporate this mindset into your daily interactions with your partner or others close to you? [30:10]
The sermon suggests asking, "What can I do to help?" How can you make this question a regular part of your communication with your partner or family? What challenges might you face in doing so? [35:13]
Think about a time when pride or blame hindered your ability to apologize or be transparent in a relationship. How can mutual submission help overcome these barriers? [12:33]
How can you model mutual submission in your relationships to set an example for future generations? What specific actions can you take to demonstrate humility and service? [39:57]
Identify a relationship where you struggle to put the other person first. What practical steps can you take this week to prioritize their needs and show them they are important to you? [21:44]
Reflect on the idea of taking relational cues from Jesus. How can this perspective change the way you approach difficult conversations or decisions in your relationships? [27:59]

Sermon Clips

"Mutual submission creates an escalating sense of trust and cooperation. It diminishes suspicion. It creates, it automatically creates more transparency, less pride, more humility, faster apologies, less resistance, less blame. And the reason is because it's mutual." [12:33]

"In fact, what the passage that introduces us to this was has actually been used to communicate the opposite of what the author intended. In fact, and embedded in this passage, we're gonna look at it in just a minute, embedded in this passage that introduces the concept of mutual submission is the verse that we began with, within the context of this talk about mutual submission, we find the verse, 'Wives submit to your own husbands as you do to the Lord', which has been so misapplied by Christian men, and so criticized by non-Christians." [13:00]

"Jesus introduced the dignity of women and the equality of men and women because Jesus is the one that said, 'Your Heavenly Father is her Heavenly Father'. And then Peter who spend time with Jesus will come along and say, 'Men, she's not just your wife, she's not your property, she is your sister. And she has a father and he cares about his daughter, and you better treat her right.'" [14:08]

"Paul's statement preceding this actually provides, as I mentioned earlier, the often overlooked context for the verse that's so disturbing to women when taken out of context, as it should be in a statement, unfortunately, that's used by men. Years ago, this only happened twice, and I don't do premarital counseling. I was terrible at it anyway, but I used to do a lot of premarital counseling, and every once in a while I'd get some guy and he's like, he would bring this up. But the Bible says, women are to submit, and I'd be like, do you know where that is?" [16:08]

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This is mutual submission. This is one another. In fact, throughout Paul's letters, he's constantly, one another, one another, one another, one another, because he's teasing out and he's helping Gentiles understand the teaching of Jesus. And basically he says, let me, as we change subjects here in this letter to those of you living in Ephesus, let's start with this. You are to put each other first, regardless of each other." [17:19]

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, just to the wives, husbands, we'll get to you in a minute. You're to submit yourself your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Basically, it's just an application of this verse. Now, this is the advanced stuff right here, okay? Every once in a while we go deep. People accuse us of not being deep. And you know what I always say? Deep is you can't touch bottom." [18:16]

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And then he applies that to women, as unto the Lord, he applies it to husbands, as Jesus did unto the church, that we are to take our relational cues from Jesus, not one another. That we are to do unto others, especially in the home, as God through Christ has done for us. That's our marching orders. That's what it means to be a Jesus follower." [27:41]

"Jesus is God in a body and he never plays the God card for his own benefit. He never leverages his power for his own benefit. He never gets to the restaurant and sees at the corner table's got a family there and says, 'We'll take the corner table. I'm Jesus.' Jesus. That one, okay? Nevermind, I'll move 'em. No, no, no, no, Jesus let's do that. In other words, he never left." [30:10]

"Christian marriage is two people submitted to God, deferring to one another. Two people submitted to God deferring to one another. I'm not gonna treat her the way she deserves to be treated. I'm gonna treat her the way you treated me. I'm not gonna treat him the way he always deserves to be treated, I'm gonna treat him the way that you treated me when I wasn't worth you treating me the way you treated me." [31:57]

"So defer, that's our advice. Defer, defer specifically to one another. You put others first. You never stop pursuing, you never stop honoring, you never stop with the awe, you never stop with the, hey, he or she's more important than me. Humility, come on, relationally, humility always wins the day. Pride is always poison, right? Selfishness is always kryptonite." [33:36]

"What can I do to help? What can I do to help? How can I carry your burden today? How can I shoulder your burden today? How can I make your life easier? How can I prioritize your thing over my thing? How can I put you first? How can I get in the back of the line if that'll help you get to the front of the line quicker? How can I loan you my strengths? How can I loan you my resources? How can I make it easier for you? What can I do to help?" [35:13]

"It's just another reminder that following Jesus really will make your life better, make you better at life, it'll make you better husband, wife, fiance, friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend. And in the end, you'll have a stronger, better relationship. But best of all, you'll have a more mutually satisfying relationship because it's mutual submission. So, defer to one another. You will be glad that you did." [39:57]

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