June 28 2026 Marriage Roles Model Jesus and the Church Ephesians 5- Pastor Michael Bartlett

Devotional

Day 1: The Wedding Feast Where Alligators Can’t Bite

The marriage supper of the Lamb isn’t just a future event—it’s the ultimate celebration where death, sin, and evil lose their teeth. This feast marks the end of brokenness and the beginning of eternal unity with Christ. Every earthly marriage points to this divine union, where the Bride (the Church) is made spotless through Christ’s sacrifice. Those who belong to Him will rejoice in a perfected relationship, free from the enemy’s schemes. The invitation is open, but RSVP requires surrender to Jesus alone. [46:02]

“Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure.” (Revelation 19:7–8, ESV)

Reflection: What practical step can you take today to live as someone “made ready” for Christ’s return? How does this hope reshape your view of current struggles?

Day 2: Pushed Into the Waters of Sacrificial Love

Marriage demands courage to swim against cultural currents. Like the man thrown into the alligator-infested waters, love requires risking comfort to pursue covenant. Submission and sacrifice aren’t passive—they’re active choices to trust God’s design over self-preservation. Whether married or single, every believer is called to this countercultural obedience: wives honoring Christ through respect, husbands mirroring His radical self-giving. The waters are dangerous, but the reward is onshore. [49:27]

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1–2, ESV)

Reflection: Where is God asking you to “jump in” despite fear? What makes obedience in this area feel like being “pushed”?

Day 3: The First Surgery: Crafting Unity From a Rib

God didn’t create Eve from Adam’s foot to dominate or his head to control, but from his side to walk as equals. That rib became the blueprint for marital oneness—a partnership where differences serve unity. Just as Adam recognized Eve as “bone of my bones,” Christ sees His Church as inseparable from Himself. Modern relationships often fracture when seeking autonomy, but God’s design thrives in intentional interdependence. [01:00:35]

“So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:21–24, ESV)

Reflection: What “rib” in your relationships needs protecting? How can you cultivate gratitude for the differences that strengthen unity?

Day 4: Kneeling With a Towel: Leading by Serving

Christ redefined leadership when He washed grime from disciples’ feet. Husbands mirror this by prioritizing their wife’s holiness over their own comfort, wives through Christ-honoring respect. Authority in God’s kingdom looks like a callused knee, not a raised fist. Marriages crumble under the weight of selfishness but flourish when both partners carry the basin and towel of daily surrender. [01:15:49]

“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” (John 13:14–15, ESV)

Reflection: What “dirt” in your relationships have you avoided touching? How might serving in this area deepen your Christlikeness?

Day 5: Ham or Eggs: The Cost of Becoming One

The pig’s full sacrifice versus the chicken’s partial contribution illustrates marital oneness. Becoming “one flesh” costs everything—pride, independence, and the right to retaliate. Like Christ’s death birthed the Church’s purity, spouses die daily to self to nurture their union. This isn’t a 50/50 transaction but a 100/100 surrender, where both give fully to reflect the Trinity’s mutual glory. [01:21:29]

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:25–28, ESV)

Reflection: Where are you still holding back “portions” instead of full surrender? How does Christ’s total gift challenge your half-measures?

Sermon Summary

Revelation 19 lifts the eyes of the church to the wedding nobody wants to miss, the marriage supper of the Lamb. The bride is beautiful because Christ clothes her in his righteousness, and the day is coming when sin, death, evil, the devil, the flesh, and every enemy of the Christian will be done away with. Ephesians 5 then brings that big wedding picture down into the home, because marriage is meant to show something bigger than marriage.

Paul sets the foundation before he ever gets to husbands and wives. The believer is called to imitate God, walk in love, walk in light, walk in wisdom, and be filled, or controlled, by the Holy Spirit. The issue is what controls the soul: the mind, the will, and the emotions. Anger, lust, cravings, and feelings can take over, but the Word of God and the Spirit are meant to rule there.

Paul says wives are to be subject to their own husbands as to the Lord, because the church is subject to Christ. That submission is not inferiority. That word, hupotasso, means to arrange in an orderly manner, to come under the mission God designed for the home. Jesus himself modeled submission when he came down from heaven not to do his own will, but the will of the Father. The text does not bless abuse or command obedience to anything sinful, immoral, unethical, or illegal. It calls the bride to reflect the church following Christ.

Paul gives husbands the heavier word: love the wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. The groom sacrifices. Headship is not bossing, lording, or stomping around the house demanding submission. Christlike headship looks like Jesus washing dirty feet, nourishing, cherishing, dying, and leading by love. Agape love is not just romance or feelings. It is a decision to lay down self for the good of another.

Genesis 2 stands behind the whole picture: a man leaves father and mother, cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh. Marriage creates a new unit, not just an addition to an old family. The husband and wife leave, cleave, and weave that threefold cord with Christ at the center.

Paul finally names the great mystery: marriage is about Christ and the church. The husband loves, the wife respects, the home displays the gospel, and the church must see that healthy marriages and healthy families matter deeply. God designed marriage, Jesus affirmed it, and the Holy Spirit spoke it through Paul. The call begins where all union begins: repent, believe, receive grace, and be joined to Christ.

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Key Takeaways

1. Walk before arranging the home [51:33] Ephesians 5 does not start with who gets the final say at home. Paul starts with walking in love, light, wisdom, and the Spirit. Any household order without Spirit control can become just another form of selfish control. The Word has to rule the mind, choices, and feelings before marriage can rightly reflect Christ. [51:33]
2. Submission is ordered strength [01:02:20] Submission means coming under God’s mission, not becoming less valuable. Jesus submitted to the Father while remaining fully equal with the Father, so the pattern is not inferiority. The text calls for order, not abuse, and it never requires participation in sin, immorality, unethical behavior, or anything illegal. God’s design protects the picture of Christ and the church. [62:20]
3. Husbands die before they lead [01:09:04] Paul gives husbands the cross-shaped command: love as Christ loved and gave himself up. Headship is not a throne for pride, but a place of responsibility, sacrifice, nourishment, and care. Jesus washed feet before he went to the cross, and that kind of servant leadership exposes how cheap mere authority can be. A husband’s leadership is measured by Christlike dying, not by winning arguments. [69:04]
4. One flesh forms a new unit [01:18:57] Genesis 2 gives marriage its pattern: leave, cleave, and become one flesh. A new household is formed before God, not merely an extension of two older families. That one-flesh union includes physical intimacy, but it also means shared life, shared direction, and shared covenant identity. Christ belongs at the center of that woven cord. [78:57]
5. Marriage points beyond marriage [01:22:23] Paul calls the mystery great because marriage is preaching something larger than itself. Christ and the church are the ultimate groom and bride, and every Christian union with Christ begins by grace. Baptism pictures that joining: death with Christ, burial with Christ, and new life with Christ. Married or single, the first need is to repent, believe, receive, and be united to Jesus.

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Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[45:32] - The Wedding Nobody Wants To Miss
[47:16] - Marriage, Divorce, And God’s Plan
[50:26] - Walk In Love, Light, And Wisdom
[52:24] - Be Controlled By The Spirit
[55:20] - Equal Value, Different Roles
[56:17] - Wives Submit As To The Lord
[62:20] - Hupotasso And God’s Order
[64:27] - What Submission Is Not
[69:04] - Husbands Love Like Christ
[75:21] - Jesus Models Servant Leadership
[78:57] - Leave, Cleave, And Become One
[82:23] - The Mystery Of Christ And The Church
[85:46] - God’s Design For The Home
[87:36] - Repent, Believe, And Receive Grace

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Ephesians 5:22-33
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” [00:56:17]

Revelation 19:7-9
“Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, ‘Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’ And he said to me, ‘These are the true words of God.’” [00:46:06]

Genesis 2:24
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” [01:18:57]

Ephesians 5:1-21
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’ Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” [00:50:20]

Observation questions

In Ephesians 5:1-21, what four ways of walking are named before Paul speaks directly to husbands and wives? [00:51:33]
In Ephesians 5:22-33, what specific commands are given to wives, and what specific commands are given to husbands?
According to Genesis 2:24 and Ephesians 5:31, what three movements mark the beginning of a marriage: leaving, holding fast, and becoming one flesh? [01:18:57]
In Revelation 19:7-9, how is the Bride described, and what is promised to those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb? [00:46:06]

Interpretation questions

Paul says believers are to be filled with the Spirit before he speaks about marriage. Why does that order matter so much for life in the home? What tends to happen when a person is controlled more by anger, cravings, pride, or feelings than by the Spirit? [00:52:24]
Paul says a wife is to submit “as to the Lord.” How does that help explain what submission is, and what does it help protect it from becoming? [01:02:20]
Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. What does that show about the kind of leadership God intends in marriage, and how is that different from simply getting one’s own way? [01:09:04]
Paul calls marriage a “great mystery” because it refers to Christ and the church. How does that change the way a person sees marriage, singleness, and union with Christ? [01:22:23]

Application questions

The home cannot reflect Christ well if the heart is being ruled by something else. What has been most likely to control your soul lately—fear, anger, comfort, lust, busyness, approval, or something else? What would it look like this week to walk in love, light, wisdom, and the Spirit in a more concrete way? [00:52:24]
Submission is not inferiority, and headship is not domination. Where have you seen God’s design for order either misunderstood or distorted? How has that affected your own thinking, and what part of your thinking may need to be brought back under Scripture? [01:04:27]
Christlike love is not mainly a feeling; it is a decision to give oneself for the good of another. If you are married, what is one specific sacrifice that would make your spouse feel nourished and cherished this week? If you are single, what is one relationship where sacrificial love needs to replace self-protection or self-focus? [01:12:10]
A husband’s leadership is measured by dying to self, not by winning arguments. When conflict shows up in the home or family, what do you usually fight to protect—being right, being heard, being comfortable, or being holy? What might it look like to respond more like Jesus? [01:15:21]
Marriage creates a new unit: leave, cleave, and become one flesh. For those who are married, are there old family patterns, loyalties, or expectations still pulling too much weight in the marriage? How could clearer boundaries or better unity be built? [01:20:00]
Marriage points beyond itself to Christ and the church. Whether married or single, how can your life more clearly show that Jesus is the true Bridegroom and that belonging to him is the first and deepest union? [01:22:23]
Every healthy marriage and healthy home begins with grace, and every person’s first need is to be joined to Christ. Have you personally repented, believed, and received that grace? If you have, where do you need fresh repentance now? If you have not, what is keeping you from coming to Christ? [01:27:36]

Sermon Clips

60s

“``Where's it start for all of us? Married or not? We're all in need of a union. We're all born separated from god because sin what church? Sin what? Separates but god demonstrates his love for us while we were yet sinners. Christ died for us. For the wages of sin is death but the free gift of god is eternal life in Christ Jesus our lord. So, repent this morning. If you're here today, first of all, and you're still separated, you're not joined to Christ. You don't have that relationship with him. You've got to repent, believe, and receive. You've gotta repent which means change your mind. I'm gonna change turning from my sin and self and I'm gonna put my faith and trust in the sacrifice of Christ on the cross and his resurrection the third day and just receive grace.”

66s

“But how did Jesus demonstrate this in John thirteen, fourteen, and 15? What did the son of god do the night before he was or the night he was betrayed, the night before he was crucified? How did he model this for all of us whether you're married or not? Could you imagine Jesus coming in right now and starting to wash your feet right now? Now, in our culture today, that's counterculture. I know there's still some churches that that practice that. I've actually practiced that in the Baptist Church before. It was beautiful, humbling. But the son of god came and humbled himself in the will of god and washed the dirty feet. That would have been Passover time. There would have been hundreds of thousands of animals being slaughtered in that time or police brought in and being slaughtered the next day. It would have been disgusting. Here, the son of god gets down and models servant leadership.”

40s

“It's a picture of the gospel. Is that what your marriage is played out like? Now, yes or no is marriage hard. I mean, does. Marriage hard, yes or no? Come on, church is marriage hard. Yes. One selfish person marrying another selfish person and coming together and trying to figure out how to do this. And that's why there's a a blueprint for this. The husbands, we're supposed to love our wives like Christ demonstrated for us, willing to die for her.”

43s

“But I'm telling you, I know this is the season of weddings but there's a wedding that you don't wanna miss. There's a wedding you don't wanna miss and that's what we find in this next verse of Revelation nineteen seven and it's called the marriage supper of the lamb. Y'all like to eat, right? Y'all like to eat, right? Y'all like to party? Y'all like beautiful things as we just sang about? There's coming a day. Listen, when all of sin, death, and evil is going to go away. Amen? Let me say it again. There's coming a day wherein all of sin, death, and evil are going to go away. Okay?”

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