8/23/26 11am "Marriage and Parenting" Jeff and Kathy Pittman

Aug 23, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: Present, Not Perfect: Modeling Humility in Daily Moments

Parenting begins with showing up, not with flawless execution. Children learn faith not through polished performances but through watching adults navigate mistakes with honesty. When parents apologize for missteps or seek God’s guidance openly, they demonstrate how faith breathes in real life. This raw authenticity becomes a living curriculum, teaching children that growth matters more than pretense. Imperfect presence builds trust, while perfectionism builds distance. The goal is to walk with God visibly, not to perform godliness. [34:42]

These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7, ESV)

Reflection: When did your child last see you humbly admit a mistake or seek forgiveness? How might your willingness to model imperfection create space for their spiritual growth?

Day 2: Building Cathedrals: Order as the Scaffolding of Security

God’s love for order becomes tangible in the rhythms of home life. Consistent routines—bedtime prayers, shared meals, tech-free zones—create a framework where children feel anchored. These structures aren’t about control but about carving out spaces for connection to flourish. Like a trellis guiding a vine, order supports growth without dictating every twist. Even chaos becomes manageable when children know stability awaits in the family’s heartbeat. [38:29]

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. (1 Corinthians 14:33, ESV)

Reflection: What daily rhythm in your home most consistently opens doors for spiritual conversations? Where might a small intentional structure (like a phone-free hour) deepen your family’s sense of safety?

Day 3: Naming Storms: Teaching Emotional Vocabulary as Spiritual Warfare

Anger and frustration often mask deeper heart battles. Helping children identify “I feel jealous” or “I’m afraid I don’t matter” equips them to confront idols rather than people. This discernment turns tantrums into teachable moments, revealing sin’s roots instead of just pruning its branches. Emotional clarity becomes armor, helping children recognize when their hearts drift from God’s throne. [48:01]

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27, ESV)

Reflection: What emotion does your child struggle to name? How could you help them trace it to a deeper longing only God can fulfill?

Day 4: The Rope Principle: Freedom Within Fences

Responsibility grows as trust is earned, not assumed. Granting incremental freedom—a later curfew, unsupervised outings—becomes sacred ground for teaching consequence and grace. Pulling the rope back after missteps isn’t punishment but discipleship: “Let’s ask what God wants to heal here.” This approach ties privilege to character, helping children see boundaries as love’s language. [54:03]

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

Reflection: Where is your child testing boundaries? How might framing a consequence as “pulling the rope to protect, not punish” shift that conversation?

Day 5: When Wisdom Runs Dry: Parenting From Our Knees

Crises expose the limits of experience. Marriage breakdowns, faith doubts, or reckless choices in adult children leave parents speechless—and this holy silence becomes the birthplace of intercession. Surrendering the need to fix everything, we become midwives to God’s unseen work. Our helplessness becomes the altar where He reshapes both parent and child. [59:05]

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

Reflection: What situation with your child feels beyond your expertise? How might confessing “I don’t know” to God and them create space for divine wisdom?

Sermon Summary

God brings brothers and sisters into the same room on purpose, and the family of God is not an accident. Brotherhood and sisterhood come through Jesus and the blood of the cross, so worship and family life sit under a bigger story than personal plans or checked boxes.

Parenting rests on the foundation of marriage and God’s sacred order. Husbands carry the assignment of provider, protector, and pastor. Wives carry the assignment of nurturer, helper, and builder of the home. That order is not meant to be stiff concrete, but it gives a home more room for harmony, peace, and less conflict.

Grace based parenting begins with the belief that God has hardwired every child for a secure love, a significant purpose, and a strong hope. God has chosen parenthood as the vehicle to transfer those needs to a child’s heart. Parenting is therefore not mainly about being impressive or flawless. Parenting is about being present, not perfect.

Deuteronomy calls the words of God to be on the heart, taught diligently in the house, on the road, at bedtime, and in the morning. Proverbs calls parents to train up a child in the way he should go. Presence means mistakes will happen, but humility, apology, prayer, and dependence on God become part of the model children watch. Faith gets shown in Bible reading and church, but also in the fruits of the Spirit outside the church walls.

A secure love grows under an umbrella of grace. Discipline aims at correction, not payback. Grace based correction does not major on the minors, like haircuts and silly things, but looks for heart issues like disrespect, lying, deceit, and tone. Parenting the inside matters more than managing the outside.

A significant purpose grows as parents truly know their children. Strengths, weaknesses, talents, and gifts point toward the way God may use them in his kingdom. A strong hope grows when children know they are accepted, forgiven, loved, and able to contribute to others.

Emotional vocabulary helps children name what is going on inside without being ruled by it. Negative emotions often point to idols on the heart, places where God has been pushed off the throne. Respect, affection, family dinners, no phone zones, and thoughtful questions help create a home where children can talk.

Parenting changes with time. Freedom can be given like “a little more rope,” with the rope still connected. Adult children bring situations where principles, experience, and wisdom may run out. Responding, not reacting, means waiting on God before stepping into the fray. Jeremiah’s promise of a future and a hope reminds parents that God is for them, and their children are worth the investment.

Key Takeaways

1. Presence matters more than perfection Parenting does not become faithful by avoiding mistakes. Parenting becomes faithful when humility stays visible after mistakes have been made. A child who sees apology, repentance, and dependence on God is not seeing weakness only, but a real picture of life “on the way” with Jesus. [32:56]
2. Grace corrects without paying back Correction looks for healing and growth, while punishment can turn into a kind of emotional payback. Grace does not ignore sin, but it refuses to treat every awkward phase, silly choice, or embarrassing moment as a heart rebellion. The deeper work is learning to parent the inside, where deceit, disrespect, and tone reveal what is really going on. [42:08]
3. Purpose gives children a pathway A child without purpose can drift into a life without hope. Purpose grows when parents know the child well enough to recognize gifts, coach weaknesses, and affirm what God has placed there. The aim is not just success, but usefulness in the kingdom of God. [44:58]
4. Emotions can reveal hidden idols Anger, dissatisfaction, and frustration often show where a heart wants the throne. Emotional maturity begins when a child can name the feeling without letting the feeling take charge. A good emotional vocabulary helps the soul step back, look honestly, and choose a wiser response. [48:01]
5. Responding requires waiting on God Reacting lets another person’s emotion control the next move. Responding stops, prays, and asks God for timing, words, and wisdom, especially when adult children face painful situations. Sometimes the holiest thing a parent can say is, “Lord, this is beyond present wisdom.”

## [59:23]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[26:58] - Opening and Introductions
[27:49] - Brothers and Sisters in Christ
[29:47] - Three Parenting Priorities
[30:31] - Marriage and Sacred Order
[32:21] - Secure Love, Purpose, and Hope
[32:56] - Present, Not Perfect
[37:10] - Modeling Faith at Home
[40:31] - Grace Based Parenting
[42:08] - Correction, Not Punishment
[44:58] - Giving Children Purpose
[46:44] - Building Strong Hope
[47:45] - Emotional Vocabulary and Maturity
[52:48] - Freedom and the Rope Principle
[55:18] - Parenting With Perspective
[59:23] - Reacting Versus Responding
[60:21] - God’s Future and Hope
[61:41] - Closing Prayer

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” [33:35]

Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” [34:10]

Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” [01:00:36]

Observation questions

In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, what settings of daily life are named as places where God’s words are to be taught to children?
What are the three needs described as being hardwired into every child’s heart? [32:21]
What are some examples of heart issues that need correction, and what are some examples of “minors” that should not become the main focus? [42:08]
What difference is drawn between reacting and responding when a parent is dealing with a hard situation? [59:23]

Interpretation questions

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 puts God’s words in ordinary moments like sitting at home, walking along the way, bedtime, and morning. What does that suggest about the difference between occasional religious activity and a steady life of spiritual presence with children? [33:35]
Proverbs 22:6 speaks of training a child in the way he should go. How does that connect with truly knowing a child’s strengths, weaknesses, gifts, and temperament instead of using the exact same approach with every child? [44:58]
Correction aims at growth, while punishment can become payback. How does that difference shape the tone of discipline, and why does it matter so much for building secure love in a home? [40:43]
Jeremiah 29:11 speaks of a future and a hope. How can that promise steady a parent when there is confusion, pain, or not enough wisdom for the next step? [01:00:36]

Application questions

Presence matters more than perfection. Where is there a recent moment with a child, grandchild, or younger person where humility, apology, or asking forgiveness is needed? What would it look like to take that step this week? [34:28]
God’s words are meant to be talked about in the normal rhythms of life. What part of the day feels most natural for that in this season: mealtime, bedtime, driving, mornings, or something else? What makes that moment workable for this household?
A home under grace feels safe, welcoming, and honest. What helps this home feel like that now, and what tends to make it feel tense or guarded? [40:43]
Parenting the inside matters more than managing the outside. Is there a tendency to focus on outward behavior, style, awkward phases, or embarrassment more than on deeper issues like deceit, disrespect, or tone? Where might that be showing up right now? [43:12]
A child grows in purpose when deeply known. What is one strength, interest, or gift that stands out in a child or grandchild right now, and how could that be encouraged in a practical way? [45:18]
Emotional maturity grows when feelings can be named without being put in charge. How comfortable is this household with talking about anger, disappointment, fear, or frustration? What kind of question could open that door more gently? [49:08]
Responding means waiting on God before stepping into the fray. In a current family situation, what would slowing down, praying first, and refusing to react look like in practice? [01:00:05]

Sermon Clips

61s

#RespondDontReact

“Because there's another principle, a main principle here that we want to get across as we finish. It's real important to understand the difference between reacting and responding. Reacting and responding. Reacting is when we let a situation or someone else's emotions control us. Okay? We're letting somebody else determine our actions by the way they're acting, and then we're stepping into the fray. Usually, really not very well equipped, and usually not with good information. Reaction, never good. Responding is when you really stop and take into account what's in front of you, what's going on, stop and wait, that prayer happen. Say, god, please, please, please come and teach us. Come and teach us. And he will. He will. He absolutely will.”

37s

#HopeForKids

“So if we can build a hope for our children that starts in their youth, then we're doing a really wonderful thing for them. If they realize they're accepted, if they realize they're forgiven, if they realize there are things that they're good at and that they can contribute to the lives of others, they will have hope in God and his purpose for them. They'll have hope when they feel loved by us and then discover and hold on to that purpose. It's a huge, huge gift we can give to our kids.”

64s

#EmotionsNotIdols

“Negative emotions that we experience are often really things that God's point at as idols on our heart. A place where he's no longer on the throne and we are on the throne. When we're angry or dissatisfied or frustrated, it's often because we're not getting our way. And we have something going on inside of us, and that creates conflict. And so, the sooner we, equip our children to say, Well, this is how I'm really feeling about things, the better off they're going to be. Because when you and I and them are able to identify those emotions, this is what's going on, but it's not controlling me. It's out here. I can look at it objectively. I know why I'm feeling this, but I'm not going to let it ultimately control my behavior and let it be a subjective thing. I can be objective. And so that gives them real maturity.”

56s

#PurposeDrivenKids

“Let's move on to the importance of them having a significant purpose. And so the thing that we want to do is try to connect our children to the idea that God has a purpose for them in their life that he wants them to fulfill. That's an important, important thing. A life without purpose is a life without hope. And if you have them connected to their purpose, it gives them a pathway. this comes... One of the things that comes from is knowing them, really knowing who they are, what they're capable of, knowing their strengths, knowing their weaknesses, knowing how they can use their talents, and affirming those and encouraging those things so that they can feel connected to, Here's who I am. I have an identity.”

44s

#PresentAndHumble

“These references point to you and I being involved, being present. So being present means even if you make mistakes, you take responsibilities for that. Because when you do that, when you say, hey, I I wasn't perfect in that situation, You're modeling what it means to be a parent for your children as a person on the way. You're you're modeling, so I am struggling. I am trying. I am trying to live out my faith, and this is what it looks like. It looks like me being humble, me asking your forgiveness, me coming to God, asking his forgiveness and wisdom.”

67s

#DevelopTheirGifts

“And God is gonna use that. And we believe that God stirs up our children and all of us with the things that he gives us. Because they they fall under that column of, it feels easier, and I feel more gifted and talented in this area. And so we want to know our children well. We want to coach them in their weaknesses so they can grow. We certainly want to encourage them. And when they do things well, they want to point those things out and get excited with them and forth them. All these things will point at the purpose, their potential purpose that God has for them because what he wants to do is use them in his kingdom. That is his purpose. That's your purpose and my purpose. That is his. That's the only reason we're here. The only reason he left us here is to fulfill that purpose for his kingdom. So, it's important to try to connect them with that particular thing. The last of the three is giving them a strong sense of hope.”

46s

#InviteGodIn

“But when you acknowledge that you don't have an answer for the other side of that discussion, what you end up doing is turning to God and say, Father, we invite you into this situation because if we do the wrong thing, we're gonna make a mistake. We're gonna end your relationship. We don't wanna end relationship, but we could potentially end your relationship, and we won't be in a good place. It's not to say we don't want to be honest, but it is saying that we want to invite God into this and let him teach our hearts about what to say to our kids and the time when we should say it. So”

46s

#ModelChristianManhood

“He took the roof off and put a new roof on his storage shed. He's very capable, and they're very capable, and they don't need me for anything much. Sometimes I give him advice. But what they do need from me is to live a life that looks like Jesus and give them some place to go and a pathway forward. And that means that through every seasonal life, they haven't gone through it yet. So they're wondering, just by observation, how's dad handling this? What kind of man is he, and what should I be as a Christian man? So that is part of being present and modeling to them.”

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