Marriage God's Way [It's Complicated] — Pastor Jason Burns

The verse before the verse we read that started verse 22 for wives, verse 21 says, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Like you could flip this upside down and say because you love Jesus, you better be submitted to one another. What does that mean? It means the world views love as me me me. Selfish, self centered. As long as my needs are met, I'm good. I'm happy. I'm great. But in a covenant, it's you before me. Your needs before mine. A God honoring marriage is who can out serve each other. A God honoring marriage is I know where I stand. You, my wife, you are my priority. No one else. [00:30:05] (42 seconds)  #OthersBeforeSelf

Why does this matter? Because shame often feels like the narrative of our lives, doesn't it? It says that Adam and Eve were both naked. Now they were physically naked but I believe this means they were vulnerable, exposed, fully known to each other and there was no shame. There was nothing between them. And this is a picture in my opinion of a godly marriage. It's that there is this vulnerability. There is this I'm fully exposed. You fully know me and you fully love me. This is what marriage is. [00:17:36] (29 seconds)  #FullyKnownNoShame

This is how the world views marriage. Pay attention the next time you walk past one of those tabloids like the National Enquirer. Read all the headlines. This couple breaking up. They're splitting up. This person's getting the kids. It's all contractual kind of language. The way the world views marriage is as long as my needs are getting met and as long as you're keeping me happy, I'll stay married. But the moment I'm no longer happy, we'll tear up the contract and we'll pay the fee and we'll move on. What is the fee? We'll split all of our assets. We'll figure out where the kids go for the weekend. That's how the world views marriage. And listen to me friends, it is broken. [00:07:36] (32 seconds)  #MarriageIsntAContract

Here's what I want to challenge you with today, whether you're married or not married, whether you're on the front end of your life and you're making decisions now that will affect your future or you find yourself in a different season of life, I want us to move from immature love to a mature responsible view of what love and marriage is. And here's the question that really determines whether your love is selfish and self centered or others focused. Here it is. Ready? What does love require of me? [00:05:27] (27 seconds)  #WhatDoesLoveRequire

Men, don't you dare talk about your relationship, your sex life, any of those things with anybody outside of your marriage because it's dishonoring and it's devastating to your marriage. Our words build or they destroy. Choose to use your words to honor. Let me offer you a quick thought on this. I can only speak for men because I am one. Men gravitate towards places of honor. So if it feels like your husband would rather be on the golf course or at work than at home, Maybe home's not a place where honor is thrown around. [00:29:06] (41 seconds)  #GuardYourMarriageWords

Honor, in my opinion, is life in a marriage. It's you both making this decision to say, I I choose you. I I choose to honor you. I choose to respect you. I I choose you. So so here's what this means. It means you need to pay attention to the way you talk about each other. Your words, according to the book of Proverbs, have the power of life and death in them. What does it mean? Okay. Ladies, if you talk trash about your husbands to your circle of girlfriends, in my opinion, you are using your words prophetically to create that kind of husband. [00:28:22] (44 seconds)  #SpeakLifeToYourSpouse

If a covenant is about some rights we give up and some responsibilities we pick up, I wanna talk about those for just a moment. If you're gonna have a God honoring marriage that is a testimony to the world around you, there's some rights you gotta give up. The first right is this. It's the right of priority. Priority says you are number one in my life for the rest of my life. And here's the funny thing. I think we think this, but then we get busy. And there's work pressure and work deadlines and there's things to do. And a lot of people will drift towards work because they feel celebrated at work, but they don't feel celebrated at home. [00:18:08] (36 seconds)  #ChooseSpouseFirst

Because everything we own is co owned and co administered. It means every decision we make financially, it's both of us making the decision together. Can can I say something that's weird to me? I don't have a bible verse for this. This is my opinion, so don't like quote me on this, but here's my opinion. I find it really really dumb and silly that couples will marry each other, say, I give you the rest of my life. I give you my heart. I give you my body. I give you all of me, but let's keep separate bank accounts. It's never made sense to me. It's like, let's be one except in this area. It's like you're planning in advance for the marriage to not work. Doesn't make sense. In a marriage, a godly marriage, everything is co owned and co administered. [00:20:49] (40 seconds)  #CoOwnYourLife