Marriage: A God-Centered Covenant of Love and Hope

Devotional

Day 1: Marriage Is a God Thing, Not a You Thing

Marriage is not merely a human arrangement or a social contract, but a divine institution created by God to reflect His love and purpose for humanity. When we view marriage as a God thing, we recognize that it carries prophetic significance, representing the relationship between Christ and the Church. This perspective calls us to honor marriage, fight for its sanctity, and resist the cultural pressures that seek to diminish its value. Your marriage is bigger than you think—it carries influence, legacy, and eternal significance. [07:44]

Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV)
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Reflection: In what ways have you viewed your marriage (or the marriages around you) as primarily about personal happiness or convenience, rather than as a reflection of God’s purpose? How might your attitude change if you truly believed your marriage is a God thing?

Day 2: Pursuing Holiness in Relationships

God calls us to live differently from the surrounding culture, especially in our relationships and sexual conduct. The Bible is clear that sexual intimacy is designed for the covenant of marriage, and living outside of that design is not just a personal choice but a spiritual issue. God’s will is for us to be sanctified, to avoid sexual immorality, and to honor Him with our bodies. When we align our lives with His Word, even when it’s difficult or countercultural, God provides grace, healing, and a path forward. [12:08]

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (ESV)
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

Reflection: Is there any area of your relationships or personal life where you need to realign with God’s call to holiness? What is one step you can take today to honor God with your body and your choices?

Day 3: Guarding Against Hardness of Heart

The root of many broken relationships and divorces is a hardening of the heart—a spiritual condition that can slowly shut down love, communication, and unity. Jesus teaches that divorce often begins with hard hearts, but He also offers hope for healing and restoration. Softening your heart requires intentional actions: praying for each other, seeking God’s presence, getting help when needed, and choosing forgiveness. No matter how far things have gone, God can bring new life and restoration to even the hardest hearts. [15:33]

Matthew 19:8 (ESV)
He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”

Reflection: Is there any area in your marriage or close relationships where your heart has grown hard or closed off? What is one practical way you can invite God to soften your heart and begin the process of healing today?

Day 4: Marriage as a Covenant of Mutual Sacrifice

Godly marriage is not a contract based on performance, but a covenant rooted in love, commitment, and mutual sacrifice. True unity in marriage comes when both spouses lay down their self-centered desires and choose to serve and honor one another. This means sacrificing preferences, rights, and even time for the sake of the other. Just as Christ laid down His life for us, we are called to lay down our lives for our spouse, creating a relationship marked by selflessness, unity, and God’s blessing. [24:38]

Genesis 2:23-24 (ESV)
Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Reflection: What is one area where you can choose to sacrifice your own preferences or rights for the sake of unity and love in your marriage or closest relationship today?

Day 5: Companionship, Intimacy, and Legacy

God’s design for marriage includes deep companionship, emotional and physical intimacy, and the creation of family. Marriage is meant to be a place of safety, vulnerability, and shared dreams—a friendship like no other. It is also the foundation for raising children and leaving a legacy that impacts generations. When you invest in spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy with your spouse, you not only bless each other but also fulfill God’s purpose for your family and the world. [32:06]

Genesis 1:28 (ESV)
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Reflection: How can you intentionally nurture deeper companionship and intimacy with your spouse or closest loved one this week? What is one specific action you can take to strengthen your bond and invest in your shared legacy?

Sermon Summary

Marriage is more than just a social contract or a personal arrangement—it is a sacred covenant designed by God, reflecting His love for His people. From the very beginning, God established marriage as the foundational relationship in human society, officiating the first union between Adam and Eve. This relationship is meant to be a source of companionship, intimacy, and legacy, extending its influence far beyond the couple themselves to future generations and the world around them.

Yet, the health of any marriage is ultimately a matter of the heart. When our hearts are soft—open to God, to biblical instruction, and to one another—our relationships can flourish with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. But when our hearts become hard, marriages begin to break down. Jesus Himself pointed out that divorce often begins with hardness of heart, a spiritual sclerosis that can shut down the life of a relationship. The good news is that God is in the business of healing and restoring even the hardest hearts, as seen in stories of reconciliation and renewed love.

Our culture often treats marriage as optional or disposable, reducing it to a mere piece of paper or a temporary arrangement based on personal happiness. But God’s vision is so much higher. Marriage is a spiritual covenant, not just a civil contract. It is a joining of two people in unity, requiring mutual sacrifice and selflessness. The sacrifices we make for our spouse—laying down our preferences, our rights, and our self-centeredness—are the very things that create unity and open the door for God’s blessing.

Marriage is also about deep companionship and intimacy—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It is a place where we are known, loved, and supported, where we can share our dreams, fears, and faith. And it is a partnership for creating and nurturing life, both in our children and in the legacy we leave.

Ultimately, marriage points us to the greater reality of Christ’s love for His church. Just as Jesus never abandons His covenant with us, we are called to remain faithful and loving in our marriages. For those who are struggling, there is hope and grace—God can restore what is broken and bring new life where there has been pain. And for all, whether married or not, the invitation is to open our hearts to Jesus, the true Bridegroom, and to be part of His eternal family.

Key Takeaways

1. Marriage is a spiritual covenant, not a contract God designed marriage as a sacred covenant, reflecting His unwavering commitment to us. Unlike a contract, which is based on performance and can be broken when expectations aren’t met, a covenant is rooted in unconditional love and faithfulness. This calls us to a higher standard—one where we remain committed even when it’s difficult, mirroring the way Christ loves and forgives us. [21:09]
2. The condition of your heart shapes your marriage A soft, open heart is essential for a thriving relationship. Hardness of heart—marked by unforgiveness, pride, or self-protection—can slowly kill intimacy and connection. But when we allow God to soften our hearts, practicing repentance and humility, we create space for healing, restoration, and deeper unity. [15:33]
3. Mutual sacrifice leads to true unity Unity in marriage doesn’t come from sameness, but from the willingness to lay down our own preferences and rights for the sake of our spouse. This selflessness is the antidote to selfishness, and it’s what opens our partner’s heart to love and respect. The sacrifices we make are not losses, but seeds that grow into deeper connection and blessing. [24:38]
4. Marriage is a partnership for legacy and influence God’s vision for marriage extends beyond the couple to future generations and the world. Our marriages are meant to be sources of blessing, influence, and legacy, shaping our children and impacting our communities. When we fight for our marriages, we are investing in something much bigger than ourselves. [18:19]
5. Christ’s love is the model and hope for every marriage Jesus’ covenant love for us is the ultimate example for how we are to love our spouse. He never abandons us, even when we fall short, and His grace is always available for restoration. No matter how broken a relationship may seem, God can bring healing and new beginnings when we turn to Him. [22:52]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:37] - Introduction to Relationships Series
[01:07] - Addressing Pain and Hope in Marriage
[02:17] - Family Stories and Blessings
[04:35] - The Heart of Marriage
[05:42] - Spiritual Overview vs. Practical Advice
[07:08] - Marriage: A God Thing, Not a You Thing
[09:37] - Cultural Views vs. God’s View
[10:54] - God’s Will and Sexual Purity
[13:40] - The Heart Issue Behind Divorce
[15:33] - Hope for Hard Hearts
[17:41] - The Biblical View of Marriage
[20:38] - Marriage as Covenant, Not Contract
[24:38] - Mutual Sacrifice and Unity
[30:57] - Companionship, Intimacy, and Family
[33:53] - The Wedding Feast and Invitation to Christ
[36:35] - Responding to Jesus and Final Prayer

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV) — “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Genesis 2:18, 21-24 (ESV) Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ... So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Matthew 19:8 (ESV) He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”

Observation Questions

According to Genesis 2, what was God’s reason for creating marriage in the first place? What does the passage say about companionship and unity? [19:25]
In Ephesians 5, Paul calls marriage a “profound mystery” that refers to Christ and the church. What does this suggest about the purpose of marriage beyond just the relationship between two people? [07:08]
In Matthew 19:8, Jesus says that divorce was permitted because of “hardness of heart.” What does this phrase mean in the context of the sermon? [14:55]
The sermon describes marriage as a covenant, not a contract. What is the difference between a covenant and a contract, according to the message? [21:09]

Interpretation Questions

The sermon says that the health of a marriage is “ultimately a matter of the heart.” What are some signs of a “soft” heart versus a “hard” heart in a marriage? Why does the heart matter so much? [05:10]
The message talks about mutual sacrifice as the key to unity in marriage. Why is selflessness so important, and what are some practical ways this can be lived out? [24:38]
The pastor shared a story of a couple who divorced and then remarried after God softened their hearts. What does this story teach about God’s ability to restore broken relationships? [17:03]
The sermon says that marriage is meant to be a source of legacy and influence for future generations. How does the way we live out our marriages impact others beyond our own family? [18:19]

Application Questions

The sermon challenges us to examine the condition of our hearts. Is there any area in your marriage (or close relationships) where you sense your heart has become hard? What would it look like to invite God to soften your heart in that area? [15:33]
The message says that marriage is a covenant, not a contract. In what ways have you treated your marriage (or other relationships) more like a contract—focused on performance or keeping score—rather than a covenant of unconditional love? What is one step you can take to shift your mindset? [21:09]
The pastor talked about mutual sacrifice, like giving up preferences or rights for the sake of unity. What is one specific preference or “right” you could lay down this week to serve your spouse or a close friend? [24:38]
The sermon described marriage as a partnership for legacy and influence. If you are married, what is one way you and your spouse can intentionally invest in your children or community this month? If you are not married, how can you support and encourage the marriages around you? [18:19]
The fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) was mentioned as a goal for our relationships. Which one of these do you most want to grow in right now, and what is a practical way you can pursue it this week? [05:10]
The sermon acknowledged that our culture often treats marriage as optional or disposable. How have you seen this mindset in your own life or community? What is one way you can honor the sacredness of marriage in your words or actions? [09:37]
The message ended with an invitation to see Christ’s love as the model and hope for every marriage. How does remembering Jesus’ faithfulness to you help you stay committed and hopeful in your relationships, even when things are hard? [22:52]

Sermon Clips

I want you to know your marriage is a God thing. It's not a you thing. Now, when I wrote that phrase, Microsoft word actually rebuked me and said, that is not grammatically incorrect. And I said, I don't care. It sounds good. It's grabby and they're going to remember it. So I want you to know this morning that no, your marriage is a God thing, not a you thing. [00:06:52] (21 seconds) #MarriageIsAGodThing

After a year and eight months of rebuilding and falling in love again, we remarried on the exact same date, six years later. And today, 15 months into our restored marriage, we're thriving, we're laughing, we're growing, and experiencing the most beautiful version of love. Proof that what God joins together, no one can separate. Come on, I hope there's some hope in this building for restorations of broken relationships. God can do it. Amen. [00:17:24] (29 seconds) #RestoredMarriageHope

Covenant marriage is based on a covenant of love and commitment, not a contract for performance. On the other hand, a contract marriage is performance-based. Hey, as long as you, as long as you're cutting it, as long as you're checking all my boxes, as long as you're not falling short, as long as I'm happy with you and you're making me happy and fulfilling my needs, I'm good. But as soon as you don't, I'm out, right? They call that no fault divorce. They call that irreconcilable differences, which means nothing. It simply means if you want out, you can get out. That's what that means. But as Christians, we're involved. That's in our marriage relationship as a, in a covenant relationship with each other. Marriage is more than a natural decision that we make. It's a covenant that we enter into. [00:21:52] (48 seconds) #CovenantLoveEndures

Godly marriage. Marriage is a joining of two people in a spiritual partnership of unity. Genesis chapter two, verse 24. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh. You know, the most difficult part of marriage is bringing two unique individuals to live under the same roof. Have you noticed that? Different backgrounds, different opinions, different tastes, different interests. I'm telling you, it can be tough. But what is the key to bringing two people together in unity? I'll tell you what it is. It's mutual sacrifice. [00:23:27] (39 seconds) #UnityThroughSacrifice

Our mutual sacrifice is the sacrifice of selfishness. I love this quote by Timothy and Kathy Keller. If two spouses say, I'm going to treat my self-centeredness as the main problem in the marriage, you have the prospect of a truly great marriage. Can I tell you something? It's not about you. It's about them. We're in this to sacrifice for the other person. We're in this to sacrifice for our spouse, for our husband, for our wife. We're in this to make them better, to make sure that their needs are met. And when we sacrifice for others to meet their needs, then our needs are met. [00:24:31] (39 seconds) #SelflessnessInMarriage

Exercising your right can't be more important than being in right relationship. When we come into marriage, we sacrifice all of our rights. We lay all of our rights down and we say, it's all about you. First Corinthians chapter 13 verses four and five says, love is not proud. It does not insist on its own way. It does not insist on its own way. So we don't always get what we want, but here's the beautiful thing, everybody. And this is the big idea. The sacrifices we make for very things that bring us into unity. They become the very things that bring us into unity. Why is that? Because when we sacrifice for others, it opens their heart up. They feel seen, they feel loved. They feel respected. They feel cared for because we're giving them what they want and sacrificing what we want. And in turn, that's what brings unity. And that's when God's blessing is poured out on our mess on our marriages. [00:28:56] (59 seconds) #SacrificeBringsUnity

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