Managing Expectations: Understanding Disappointment and Grace

Devotional

Day 1: Managing Expectations Wisely

Expectations are a natural part of life, but they often lead to disappointment when reality doesn't align. This cognitive dissonance can cause emotional and relational strain, reminding us of the importance of managing our expectations wisely. When we set expectations, we often do so based on our desires and perceptions, which may not always align with reality. This misalignment can lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration, affecting our emotional well-being and our relationships with others. By recognizing the nature of expectations and the potential for cognitive dissonance, we can learn to manage our expectations more effectively, reducing the strain they can cause. [06:26]

Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 (ESV): "Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools."

Reflection: Think of a recent situation where your expectations were not met. How can you adjust your expectations in the future to align more closely with reality and reduce potential disappointment?

Day 2: Jesus' Spiritual Mission

The Jewish people expected a Messiah who would fulfill their desires for political sovereignty and peace. However, Jesus' mission was spiritual, not political, challenging their expectations and inviting them to a deeper understanding of God's kingdom. Jesus came as a humble servant, emphasizing spiritual transformation over political change. His teachings often contradicted societal expectations, focusing on inner peace and repentance rather than external power and control. This shift in focus invites us to reconsider our own expectations of God and to seek a deeper understanding of His spiritual kingdom. [09:34]

Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV): "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Reflection: Reflect on an area in your life where you have expected God to act in a specific way. How can you open yourself to understanding His spiritual mission and trust in His higher ways?

Day 3: Reconsidering Our Expectations of God

Jesus' life and teachings often contradicted societal expectations. He emphasized servanthood, peace, and the fulfillment of the law's intent, rather than its letter, challenging us to reconsider our own expectations of God. By focusing on the spirit of the law rather than its strict adherence, Jesus invites us to embrace a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God. This approach encourages us to look beyond our preconceived notions and to seek a more profound understanding of God's intentions for our lives. [21:05]

Micah 6:8 (ESV): "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

Reflection: Consider an expectation you have of God that may be based on societal norms rather than His teachings. How can you align your expectations with the true intent of His message?

Day 4: Trusting God's Process

When faced with unmet expectations, whether with God or others, it's essential to communicate openly, trust the process, and rely on God's promises. This approach fosters resilience and deepens our faith. By trusting in God's process, we acknowledge that His plans are greater than our own and that He is working for our good, even when we cannot see it. Open communication with God and others helps us navigate the challenges of unmet expectations, allowing us to grow in faith and understanding. [28:12]

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

Reflection: Identify an area in your life where you struggle to trust God's process. What steps can you take today to communicate openly with Him and rely on His promises?

Day 5: Grace and Communication in Relationships

In our relationships, extending grace and maintaining open communication are vital. Recognizing our shared imperfections helps us set realistic expectations and strengthens our connections with others. By acknowledging that we are all imperfect, we can approach our relationships with humility and understanding, fostering an environment of grace and open dialogue. This approach not only strengthens our relationships but also helps us grow in empathy and compassion for others. [33:05]

Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV): "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Reflection: Think of a relationship where communication has been challenging. How can you extend grace and open a dialogue to set more realistic expectations and strengthen your connection?

Sermon Summary

In this sermon, I explored the theme of expectations, a concept that profoundly shapes our lives and relationships. We all have expectations, whether it's waking up to a new day, enjoying a good meal, or receiving the perfect gift. However, reality often falls short, leading to disappointment. I shared a personal story about Christmas expectations and how unmet expectations can lead to cognitive dissonance, a psychological term describing the tension between expectation and reality. This tension can manifest as disappointment, frustration, anxiety, and relational strain.

I then shifted the focus to the expectations the Jewish people had for the Messiah. For generations, they anticipated a savior who would bring political sovereignty, universal peace, a rebuilt temple, and the fulfillment of the law. However, Jesus did not meet these expectations in the ways they imagined. Instead of a political king, Jesus came as a humble servant, preaching peace and repentance. Instead of universal peace, His message brought disruption and conflict. Instead of a physical temple, He offered Himself as the resurrected King. And rather than enforcing the law, He fulfilled it by teaching its true intent.

This historical context helps us understand why many in Jesus' time struggled to accept Him as the Messiah. It also serves as a reminder that we, too, may have unmet expectations of God. Life often doesn't unfold as we hope, leading to feelings of disappointment and frustration. In these moments, it's crucial to communicate with God, trust His process, and rely on His promises. Similarly, in our earthly relationships, we should extend grace, communicate openly, and set realistic expectations, recognizing that we are all imperfect.

Key Takeaways

1. The Nature of Expectations: Expectations are a natural part of life, but they often lead to disappointment when reality doesn't align. This cognitive dissonance can cause emotional and relational strain, reminding us of the importance of managing our expectations wisely. [06:26]
2. Jesus and Unmet Expectations: The Jewish people expected a Messiah who would fulfill their desires for political sovereignty and peace. However, Jesus' mission was spiritual, not political, challenging their expectations and inviting them to a deeper understanding of God's kingdom. [09:34]
3. Understanding Jesus' Mission: Jesus' life and teachings often contradicted societal expectations. He emphasized servanthood, peace, and the fulfillment of the law's intent, rather than its letter, challenging us to reconsider our own expectations of God. [21:05]
4. Dealing with Unmet Expectations: When faced with unmet expectations, whether with God or others, it's essential to communicate openly, trust the process, and rely on God's promises. This approach fosters resilience and deepens our faith. [28:12]
5. Grace and Communication in Relationships: In our relationships, extending grace and maintaining open communication are vital. Recognizing our shared imperfections helps us set realistic expectations and strengthens our connections with others. [33:05]
** [33:05]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:31] - The Role of Expectations
[01:10] - Christmas Expectations
[02:49] - Disappointment and Reality
[04:37] - Expectations in Relationships
[05:48] - Unmet Expectations
[06:26] - Cognitive Dissonance
[07:37] - Historical Context of Expectations
[09:01] - Jewish Expectations of the Messiah
[10:13] - Political Sovereignty and Peace
[12:00] - Universal Peace and the Messiah
[13:05] - The Rebuilt Temple
[14:12] - Fulfillment of the Law
[15:29] - Jesus' Unexpected Mission
[18:02] - Jesus and Conflict
[19:48] - The Resurrected King
[21:05] - Jesus' Teachings on the Law
[23:20] - Understanding Historical Context
[25:36] - Unmet Expectations of Jesus
[28:12] - Communicating with God
[30:30] - Trusting the Process
[32:23] - Grace in Relationships

Sermon Clips

Expectations shape much of our lives uh, but how many of you also know that often we are disappointed when we get to the reality? Have you ever experienced that disappointment in reality? So how about this, let me set the stage for a minute. It's, you're a kid again, it's Christmas Eve and the expectation is through the roof. [00:42:08]

That's the problem with expectations is they're difficult, they're hard, they're real life though because we walk into situations, we walk into relationships with expectation. It is going to be the best ever, it is going to be the worst ever, and all of that starts to form our opinion of that person, place, or thing. [05:35:36]

Unmet expectations can lead to cognitive dissonance. What in the world is that? What is cognitive dissonance? Okay, cognitive dissonance is this: it's the gap between what is expected and the reality that actually happens, and it's how we're trying to bring those two into alignment. It's a psychology term, right, for that feeling, that tension you feel. [06:27:75]

Have you ever experienced disappointment, frustration, anxiety, stress, or relational strain because of unmet expectation? And if we're honest, we all have, right? This is the human condition, right? This is our reality. This is where we're living, and how do we manage these? How do we work through these? Are we the first people ever in the history of the world to experience this feeling? [07:08:28]

For generations, they had had scriptures and promises and expectation of what the coming savior of the world would be like, how he was going to come, what he was going to do, and they were ready for that day. And then Jesus showed up, and guess what? He didn't meet most of their expectations. [08:45:28]

Jesus was not meeting the expectations of the people. He was not meeting these political aspirations that they thought. Jesus's mission actually was not political in nature, even though these prophecies talk about the king of all these things, but he was not coming to establish an earthly kingdom at that time. [15:40:40]

Jesus taught a lot about peace and harmony, but what his message brought was conflict and disruption because instead of establishing this idea of universal peace through an earthly kingdom, Jesus built peace in a different way. Jesus reached out to the unlovable, Jesus reached out to those on the fringes, Jesus reached out to those that he shouldn't have even been talking to. [17:19:95]

The Jewish people also wanted the temple to be rebuilt, but instead of a rebuilt physical temple, they got a resurrected king. When Jesus was talking about rebuilding the temple, he was talking about his body that was broken for us. John 2:19-21 says this "All right Jesus replied destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up." [19:47:12]

Instead, Jesus said this "Don't misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose." In other translations, it says 'I have come to fulfill the law. I tell you the truth until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God's law will disappear until its purpose is achieved. [21:58:40]

Many times God doesn't deliver the way we think he should. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say most of the time he doesn't deliver as we think he should. So maybe you're sitting out there and you're saying "You know what, I feel like God has overpromised and underdelivered. Life isn't fair." [26:21:36]

Tell God how you feel. Okay, that seems so simple and like, well yeah Pastor Zach, well yeah Pastor Zach, tell God what you feel. The God who created you, he created the entire universe, he's big enough to handle your emotions. He created you with those emotions, right? So he's big enough to handle them. [28:20:64]

Trust the process. I am convinced that that's why patience is one of the fruit of the spirit because what do they call it in other translations? Long suffering. Trust the process. In the scope of eternity, life is a sprint, but in scope of our lifetimes, life is a marathon, and we have to trust the process. [30:32:56]

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