Love is More Than a Feeling | Love is... | Menlo Church Message

He's showing us that real love isn't about you and me reaching God. That's what every other religion outside of biblical Christianity does. Here's the ladder. You climb to get to God. No. No. No. What John is saying is Jesus is the only time that God climbed down to get to us. That's the good news of the gospel. [00:14:44] (18 seconds)  #JesusCameDown

That's why first Corinthians 13 isn't a to do list. It's a portrait. It's a portrait of the only person in history who has lived this out perfectly. I mean, think about this for a moment. Take this passage that you've read as love is patient, love is kind, and put Jesus' name in here. Jesus is patient and kind. Jesus does not envy or boast. He is not arrogant or rude. He does not insist on his own way. He is not irritable or resentful. That is actually a portrait of Jesus. [00:30:15] (34 seconds)  #LoveIsPortrait

We can find ourselves with a very thin layer that's very fragile and something that can leak out of it and dissipate over time, or we can connect to the unchanging nature and person of God himself, his character, his love for you and me that doesn't float around. When we look inward, we find a balloon that floats with our feelings. But when we look at Jesus, we find an anchor that holds through the storm. [00:18:20] (28 seconds)  #AnchorNotBalloon

Jesus kept no record of wrongs. As a matter of fact, he took your and my record of wrongs, and he nailed it to the cross so that we could be free. So if you're sitting here feeling guilty because you know that your expression of love has felt kind of flimsy, good. That guilt is the scalpel of God showing you and me that our pride has gotten in the way so that he can heal us because you cannot generate this kind of love. [00:30:54] (28 seconds)  #GraceShredsTheReceipt

There are some people all around the Bay Area that they think I've I've gone too far. I've I've done too much. I've been gone too long. God must be over it with me. And God, I know that nothing could be further from the truth, that your love for us is inextinguishable. But God, would you meet us in this moment? Would you remind us of the love that you have available? Would you help us to see that actually no matter where we've been or what we've done, you've been here waiting for us with your love forever. [00:34:28] (39 seconds)  #InextinguishableLove

But in God's blueprints, love isn't the paint. It's the beams. You don't always see the beams. You don't understand necessarily what's behind that wall. They aren't always the most attractive. But if you remove them because you're bored with them, the roof will cave in on your head. It will happen if you're doing a renovation of your house, and it will happen if you think about love overly simplistically. Love isn't something that just makes life look good. It's something that keeps our life from collapsing. [00:07:09] (30 seconds)  #LoveIsFoundation

See, when this guy, the the one who wanted to nuke his enemies, tells you and me that God is love, he isn't writing a greeting card for you and my Valentine's card later this month. He is telling you and me, the only force in the universe strong enough to change a heart like his is God's. He's saying, I know what the human heart looks like. It looks like reaction. It looks like revenge. It looks like outrage. But let me tell you what I have learned from the one who loved me when I was unlovable. [00:12:51] (30 seconds)  #GodChangesHearts

But if John is right, if God is love, then first Corinthians 13 isn't just some set of rules. It's a biography. It's a description of the anchor of God's love. It is the portrait of the God who holds you and me. So when we read this, we don't just hear this as a command for us to live out. We hear it as a description, a portrait of God's love for us because you cannot emulate what you have not experienced. [00:20:00] (30 seconds)  #LoveAsBiography

And so what he gives us for the snapshot of this is a snapshot of what it means for you and me to experience love, not as a list of to dos that we can't do, but a list of characters that God embodies in every moment of our day. Do you see this vision of agape? It requires God to model it in us. It it requires God to motivate in us, to activate in us. We are helpless to do this on our own. So you have to go back to our question. What if love is less decoration and more foundation? [00:22:11] (33 seconds)  #GodModelsAgape

The idea of love in the Bible is not a doormat. If you aren't safe, get safe. Talk to someone today. Get out of that situation. Love actually protects. And sometimes the most loving thing that you can do for someone is to set a boundary that makes it impossible for them to sin against you or hurt you again. [00:23:43] (20 seconds)  #LoveSetsBoundaries

Kindness isn't just being nice. It's being useful. It's being helpful. It's serving someone. Sometimes even when that person drains you to serve. I mean, that never happens to me, but I've heard from some of you that it happens in your life. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Well, we're like, are you kidding me? What about the last time they did that thing? What about the next time that they're definitely gonna do that thing? See, our feelings, they keep a detailed ledger. But love, love shreds the receipt. [00:22:59] (28 seconds)  #KindnessIsAction

So how do you tell the difference between a scalpel and a sledgehammer? Well, it comes down to permission and seasons. See, a scalpel, it cuts you open and you only hand a scalpel to a surgeon that you trust. You'd never just give a scalpel to anybody, I hope. Right? You have the God given agency to decide who holds the scalpel in your life. You give them permission. You say, I trust your love for me enough to let you hurt my feelings for my good. [00:27:41] (31 seconds)  #TrustedScalpel

So how do you tell the difference between a scalpel and a sledgehammer? Well, it comes down to permission and seasons. See, a scalpel, it cuts you open and you only hand a scalpel to a surgeon that you trust. You'd never just give a scalpel to anybody, I hope. Right? You have the God given agency to decide who holds the scalpel in your life. You give them permission. You say, I trust your love for me enough to let you hurt my feelings for my good. [00:27:41] (31 seconds)  #ChooseYourSurgeon

I'm not saying that your feelings don't matter. Your feelings matter. It's not even that your feelings are inaccurate. It's just that they are inadequate to be the primary tool you use to steer your life. I've heard it put this way, that if your life is a vehicle, your feelings should have a seat in the car of your life. Just make sure it's not the driver's seat. And some of you have had your feelings minimized for a long time. Feel your feelings. Just don't let your feelings steer your life. [00:19:02] (27 seconds)  #FeelingsAreNotTheSteeringWheel

But if John is right, if God is love, then first Corinthians 13 isn't just some set of rules. It's a biography. It's a description of the anchor of God's love. It is the portrait of the God who holds you and me. So when we read this, we don't just hear this as a command for us to live out. We hear it as a description, a portrait of God's love for us because you cannot emulate what you have not experienced. [00:20:00] (30 seconds)  #PortraitNotRulebook

So in short, we endure the sandpaper, we run from the sledgehammer, but we submit to the scalpel in the hands of someone who loves you like Jesus loves you and someone you trust. And if you go, I just can't find anyone like that anywhere in my life, it not it might not be a them problem. That might be a there are people in your life that actually probably could speak truth to you, that would love you even if it hurts, and you've gotta choose to trust them. [00:28:46] (25 seconds)  #AgapeIsExperienced

Now if we're not careful, we basically treat love like interior design for our lives. It's there to make our lives look pretty, to feel cozy, to match our aesthetic, our vibe. When the style changes, though, when our feelings change, we renovate. We break up. We freeze someone out. We find a new friend or maybe even a new friend group. [00:06:49] (19 seconds)  #LoveSetOnYou

But in God's blueprints, love isn't the paint. It's the beams. You don't always see the beams. You don't understand necessarily what's behind that wall. They aren't always the most attractive. But if you remove them because you're bored with them, the roof will cave in on your head. It will happen if you're doing a renovation of your house, and it will happen if you think about love overly simplistically. Love isn't something that just makes life look good. It's something that keeps our life from collapsing. [00:07:09] (30 seconds)  #LoveIsNotAesthetic

I'm not saying that your feelings don't matter. Your feelings matter. It's not even that your feelings are inaccurate. It's just that they are inadequate to be the primary tool you use to steer your life. I've heard it put this way, that if your life is a vehicle, your feelings should have a seat in the car of your life. Just make sure it's not the driver's seat. And some of you have had your feelings minimized for a long time. Feel your feelings. Just don't let your feelings steer your life. [00:19:02] (27 seconds)  #BeamsOverPaint

See, when this guy, the the one who wanted to nuke his enemies, tells you and me that God is love, he isn't writing a greeting card for you and my Valentine's card later this month. He is telling you and me, the only force in the universe strong enough to change a heart like his is God's. He's saying, I know what the human heart looks like. It looks like reaction. It looks like revenge. It looks like outrage. But let me tell you what I have learned from the one who loved me when I was unlovable. [00:12:51] (30 seconds)  #HonorFeelingsDontObey